Topic : Divorce Support

My husband left January of 2003.  He had been drinking and doing drugs for our seven years together and usually would not come home at least three nights out of each week.  We had one child each from previous relationships and two of our own together at this point (we had been together 6 years) in May of 2003 our third daughter was conceived when we were trying to work things out - she was born in January of 2004 during the time that I was pregnant he was seeing another woman (I found this out on my birthday) nice huh?  In October of 2004 we reconciled and he moved back home and everything was great he came home every night and loved me to pieces I was very happy to have my family back again.  For Christmas he finally got me a diamond ring that I had waited for for seven years I couldn't believe how happy I was.  In January right after that same Christmas SHE started to call again and then he wasn't coming home at night again - to make matters worse his mother was staying with us (she was from another country and I had never met her before) well his mother could not believe what was happening but he was her baby yadda...yadda...yadda.  Anyways - the last straw was on Valentines day of that year.  I had gone to the store to pick up some things for a romantic dinner and was gone for only 20 minutes so while I was gone he dropped off some flowers on the kitchen table and a valentine cake so when I got home I would see them and then I had noticed that he tried to call me so I called him back to let him know that I just missed him and he didn't answer (you know the old ignore button on the cell phone). 

The gut feeling kicked in and I drove over to her house and GUESS WHO WAS THERE?  Did I mention that I am a private investigator? LOL  Anyways - I opened the bottle of champagne and got out the SCISSORS and started to pack his suitcase that I got him for Christmas then I brought them over to her house and threw them all over her back alley and his car.  The next day he moved out to live with her.  By April he was wanting me back so STUPID ME I believed him he was all ready to come home and our little girls were so excited to have Daddy coming home then.....NO I have met someone else and I am moving in with her OMG  I think my soul was ripped right out of the universe I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  He has been living with this woman who just  jumped out of her husbands bed of 17 years right into his bed since July of 2005.  In October of this 2005 he called me and wanted me back again and of course I gave in and he came over yadda...yadda....yadda.....end up in bed and the kids are happy I am in heaven I am so in love with this man and then three days later "I made a mistake I am taking her back"  "I shouldn't have told you anything" he says.  What do you do with this?  I know that he is making a mistake giving up his family - I have always been there for him and I fear that I always will.  I cannot even force myself to move on in any way I haven't even kissed another man in 10 years...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! 

I just don't know - I am still trying to fight for him to come home.  I tell him all the time.  He still says that he wants to come home but he needs to finish things with her first.  This is really unfair and I really need advice on this from men and women.  I have never been unfaithful and would never do that to anyone.  Please help. 

My husband left January of 2003.  He had been drinking and doing drugs for our seven years together and usually would not come home at least three nights out of each week.  We had one child each from previous relationships and two of our own together at this point (we had been together 6 years) in May of 2003 our third daughter was conceived when we were trying to work things out - she was born in January of 2004 during the time that I was pregnant he was seeing another woman (I found this out on my birthday) nice huh?  In October of 2004 we reconciled and he moved back home and everything was great he came home every night and loved me to pieces I was very happy to have my family back again.  For Christmas he finally got me a diamond ring that I had waited for for seven years I couldn't believe how happy I was.  In January right after that same Christmas SHE started to call again and then he wasn't coming home at night again - to make matters worse his mother was staying with us (she was from another country and I had never met her before) well his mother could not believe what was happening but he was her baby yadda...yadda...yadda.  Anyways - the last straw was on Valentines day of that year.  I had gone to the store to pick up some things for a romantic dinner and was gone for only 20 minutes so while I was gone he dropped off some flowers on the kitchen table and a valentine cake so when I got home I would see them and then I had noticed that he tried to call me so I called him back to let him know that I just missed him and he didn't answer (you know the old ignore button on the cell phone). 

The gut feeling kicked in and I drove over to her house and GUESS WHO WAS THERE?  Did I mention that I am a private investigator? LOL  Anyways - I opened the bottle of champagne and got out the SCISSORS and started to pack his suitcase that I got him for Christmas then I brought them over to her house and threw them all over her back alley and his car.  The next day he moved out to live with her.  By April he was wanting me back so STUPID ME I believed him he was all ready to come home and our little girls were so excited to have Daddy coming home then.....NO I have met someone else and I am moving in with her OMG  I think my soul was ripped right out of the universe I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  He has been living with this woman who just  jumped out of her husbands bed of 17 years right into his bed since July of 2005.  In October of this 2005 he called me and wanted me back again and of course I gave in and he came over yadda...yadda....yadda.....end up in bed and the kids are happy I am in heaven I am so in love with this man and then three days later "I made a mistake I am taking her back"  "I shouldn't have told you anything" he says.  What do you do with this?  I know that he is making a mistake giving up his family - I have always been there for him and I fear that I always will.  I cannot even force myself to move on in any way I haven't even kissed another man in 10 years...AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! 

I just don't know - I am still trying to fight for him to come home.  I tell him all the time.  He still says that he wants to come home but he needs to finish things with her first.  This is really unfair and I really need advice on this from men and women.  I have never been unfaithful and would never do that to anyone.  Please help. 

I told my husband it is over. He WILL NOT LET UP!!!! BEGGING PLEADING, ETC!!! He has been verbally abusive, mentally abusive, smokes pot etc!!! 

I finally went and saw an attorney, and am going to have him served, and he has no idea, but he will not move out of our home, it is becoming hard to stay under the same roof, I am not financially prepared, I am not employed, have not worked in 7 years, do not have a degree, would have to sell our house, but he will not LISTEN. My friends finally told me, that I am going to have to appease him, until I have a plan, even if that means being deceitful, telling him what he wants to hear. HELP!!!!