Topic : Divorce Support

Hi, this is my first time on the message board. My husband and I have been married 19 years and four years ago he began using meth. This has caused extreme stress on our relationship and marriage. He would leave for work some mornings and not come home for days and without any contact. It would make me crazy. I would cry myself to sleep every night he wasn't home. I began to examine his cell phone bill to see who he was calling and who was calling him in the middle of the nights he was gone. It seemed to always be other meth users. I recently filed for divorce not realizing that I had the option of legal separation. I certainly don't want to rush into divorce because that's not what I want at all. So I have amended the divorce filing to lega separation. I just want him to be a normal husband....ie.. go to work, come home, have dinner, spend time with wife and family, then weekends could be his play time for golf or fishing. He has given up his favorite hobbies though. I have begun searching out rehabilitation centers to get him some help. I know his first response will be hatred toward me, but if I don't do something it could kill him. I have hit rock bottom myself spiritually and God has lifted me up to the revelation that I must go on with my life and live every day HAPPY and as if it were my last and thankful for what I do have. That has helped me tremendously. I do need the prayers of others to help me along the way. Divorce is not an option for me now. My religious beliefs prevent me from going through with a divorce. If divorce is what he wants, then obviously I don't have a choice and I will ask God to help me through that, if that comes to pass. But it would be something he would have to seek on his own. If anybody is out there that has been through something similar please message me back or send me an email. 

Welcome Amber,  

Think about what it is that you really want?  If you want to keep going the way things are, if you don't you'll have to change it, he sounds pretty content the way things are now.  Does he know you won't leave because of your daughter?  I would suggest counselling for both of you and if he won't go then go by yourself, you'll have some tough decisions to make and you may or may not need help but it sure doesn't hurt.  You're in this together and you need to be there for each other.  

Take care  

so if you've had some experience with this, how did it turn out for you? or are you still in the midst 

of it?  

I have been separated from my husband for a year.  Recently he told me that he wants a divorce and does not want to get counseling to help us stay together.  I have tried everything from letters to talking to screaming.  I love my husband very much and do not want a divorce.  How do you cope with being single again and trying your best to be nice to him.  We have two daughters together and he wants us to be best friends like nothing has changed.  Him coming here for dinner or to see the kids and us going there for dinners or visit.  How do you go about all of this when I know that he has already found someone new and has moved on from us.  He doesnt even want the girls around that much so why would he want me around?  Why if he wants the divorce so badly does he want me there?  Any advice would be nice.  Thank you. 

Leslie