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July 28, 2009, 7:59 pm PDT
blacker then even the black sheep
my family is so out of control. ever since i was younger my mother took us away and secluded us away from my fathers family. now that i am older, i have made a decision to remain in contact with them. naturally they were a little hesitant on excepting me after so many years of me being away. thats when the whole concept of black sheep started. i talked different, i acted different, i had differnet views, religious values, oh and God forbid, i date outside of my race. they could not come to terms with it. then. i got accepted into college. it all went downhill from there. at a time when i should have been celebrating and feeling proud of myself, ive had nothing but problems. they think that i do nothing but have a grand party up here at school. what they fail to recognize is that i am here all by myself, i pay and do everything on my own because the family is not one that is very supportive. they hate that i am doing better then them at the age of 21 then more then half of them already have in their whole life. they can not stand to see the next do better, or get anything better then them. it all comes down to trying to keep eachother down. my fathers side of the family will not lift you up or support you in any way. i guess my strings were drawn when i have finally heard so many lies about me that i decided to stick up for myself. i told them that i was tired of justifying my life and that it is so stressful and too tiresome to have to worry about keeping my head above water, and worrying about what untasteful lie they could scheme up next. i do however get along with a very small number of people on my fathers side, and we decided that we would form a little group. we are the "the bah bah six wooley black sheeps" of our family. my family can not stand that the black sheeps in our large family have come together and started to help eachother out. but even though i have my small group of black sheeps that offer their love, it still is hard because i am even blacker then the black sheeps. i am their burden, the one that they have to go out of their way to get, and out of their way to see. i am trying so hard to be the ONLY person in my family to graduate college, while being a black sheep. its hard. im tired of it. there is so much hurt that my family has caused, that even if they decide to try out my pasture, ill never let them eat my grass thats green when theirs goes brown!
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