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Topic : Asperger's Syndrome

Number of Replies: 125
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 11:59:34 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If your child suffers from Asperger's syndrome, find support and share advice with other parents here.

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November 7, 2006, 11:00 am CST

living with AS

 My 8 year old son has Aspergers Sydrome we found out last year, he also is Bipolar type 2 which could be an effect of the AS. It is very hard to deal with him as well as my other children. He can be so crule and violent, but he can and is a very sweet boy who is so willing to help. He is great when it comes to computers and video games altho the games are limited. I am always fighting with his school and feel like i have to defend him. They were going to kick him out after 3 days saying that they tried. I told them that if they call 3 days trying that they themselves need improvement. I got a parent mentor and she helps me deal with the school. I also told his doctor about it and she agreed that they were wrong and said that with AS he needs to be in school to help him learn how to deal with social situations, that people with AS have a problem with. He is taking Ritalin La 20 mg. and I hate fixing things with meds. I worked hard to find other ways like a sencory diet where we do things like heavy work, massage, rolling him in a blanket and slowly unrolling him. It helped but a combo of the sencery stuff and the meds have been ok we are trying to find the right dose and type of meds to give him, whitch by the way one type of pill Made him more violent. but things are going okay for us, and we are learning how to cope together. bye the way he is very obsessive/compulsive also.
 
November 7, 2006, 2:59 pm CST

Hardest thing to deal with as a parent

My son is 14 years old and was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 13 years old.  Imagine my relief when we discovered that it wasn't our bad parenting that caused his "eccentric" behavior!!!  I was so relieved.  Because teachers could not handle him in his primary grade school, I pulled him out to homeschool him.  He did wonderfully (academically) at home.  The only problem was that he fought continuously with his siblings.  It almost seemed like it was he verses the other four.  My oldest son does not tolerate him at all.  There is a lot of contention between the two of them.  My son talks non stop and feels like he has to be in everyone's business.  He is quick to discipline his younger sisters when I am right there to take care of the situation myself.  I feel like I am mad at him more than happy with him because he doesn't take redirection well, he gets angry easily, he even raises his voice at me at times, he has a one track mind, he does not empathize with anyone and doesn't realize how hurtful his words are to others.  He does not get along with anyone!!  We decided to put him back in public school this year.  He is doing really well.  He has an IEP and a para for a few of his classes.  He has some "friends" in his school that have Aspergers and they play Yu-Gi-Oh everyday.  But they still irritate him to no end!!!  I just wish he could have a decent relationship with someone outside of our family!!!  My dream is that he can learn to cope with society and meet a wonderful and patient woman and get married and have a family.  At this rate it seems like he will be with us forever, but he wants to go to college and so I will encourage him and support him!!!  I say "I" all the time even though I am married, I am just presently alone as my husband is serving in  Iraq for a while and I am used to saying I instead of we!!! 
 
November 7, 2006, 3:13 pm CST

Parent of a child diagnosed with Asperger's

Hello, my name is Angel and I am a 15+year veteran of marriage and mother of 2. My youngest son Cody has been diagnosed with Asperger's. We had struggled with a diagnosis until he was 9, it was then that doctors came to the assumption that he in fact has Asperger's. He is now 12 going to be 13 and is still a wonderful young person.  He does have problems making friends and seeing situations like others see them. 

Outbursts and overreaction are also situations with deal with and we have had many problems with the school district. I believe the problems with the schools stem from the fact that they just don't know enough about Asperger's to properly place a child that exhibits the symptoms within their schools.  There are scarcely enough teachers that are skilled and willing to teach children with well known disabilities/illnesses and other "out of the norm" behavior much less finding a teacher to teach a child that does necessarily belong in mainstream, behavior or profoundly disabled classes. 

It's not always easy raising a child, much less one with special needs but I am used to the fact that I have to be very, very, specific when I explain something to my son, that I have to be extremely patient and think about how he sees things. I have to be very observant to his body language and his reactions to all situations because even though he may not read social cues very well, my husband I have learned to read his. Practicing all these things helps us help him.  Our goal is to help Cody be the best Cody he can be, for him to experience happiness and to cope with disappointments the best he can. 

 

 I look forward to hearing new and old ideas from parents who have/are raising children that have been diagnosed with, and adults that are living with,  Asperger's Syndrome.

 
November 7, 2006, 3:35 pm CST

Asperger's Syndrome

Quote From: marjes66

My son is 14 years old and was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 13 years old.  Imagine my relief when we discovered that it wasn't our bad parenting that caused his "eccentric" behavior!!!  I was so relieved.  Because teachers could not handle him in his primary grade school, I pulled him out to homeschool him.  He did wonderfully (academically) at home.  The only problem was that he fought continuously with his siblings.  It almost seemed like it was he verses the other four.  My oldest son does not tolerate him at all.  There is a lot of contention between the two of them.  My son talks non stop and feels like he has to be in everyone's business.  He is quick to discipline his younger sisters when I am right there to take care of the situation myself.  I feel like I am mad at him more than happy with him because he doesn't take redirection well, he gets angry easily, he even raises his voice at me at times, he has a one track mind, he does not empathize with anyone and doesn't realize how hurtful his words are to others.  He does not get along with anyone!!  We decided to put him back in public school this year.  He is doing really well.  He has an IEP and a para for a few of his classes.  He has some "friends" in his school that have Aspergers and they play Yu-Gi-Oh everyday.  But they still irritate him to no end!!!  I just wish he could have a decent relationship with someone outside of our family!!!  My dream is that he can learn to cope with society and meet a wonderful and patient woman and get married and have a family.  At this rate it seems like he will be with us forever, but he wants to go to college and so I will encourage him and support him!!!  I say "I" all the time even though I am married, I am just presently alone as my husband is serving in  Iraq for a while and I am used to saying I instead of we!!! 
I found that when I asked my son what he wanted for himself and his future it was easier to work with him.  Mind you I said easier, not: made it easy lol.  Both my boys do not get along all the time and it can get out of hand and I have to remind them often that even though they do not have to be best buddies, total disrespect of each other is neither acceptable nor will it be tolerated. They do fight like siblings though and that I think is normal. I enjoy the times when they are being friendly with each other and count it as a blessing.  I do understand the "friends" comment.  My son believes he has friends, but it is more of being tolerated than friendship.  But you have to remember what school was like and what it was like out of school. Totally different!  It sounds your son and mine have a lot in common, the academics, the fighting and the over stepping of boundaries.  But then, my oldest who does not have Asperger's tends to have some of the same problems lol.  My youngest though, he likes to be right ALL the time, does not like to be criticized and has problems with taking responsibilities.  My son has tendencies to yell at me but I calmly remind him that that is not acceptable and give him some choices and that usually works.  Well this reply is getting longer than I had planned.  I pray your husband makes it back safely!
 
November 7, 2006, 4:23 pm CST

kudos to you!

Quote From: ginacruz64

We learned the syndrome when he was 8. I always new there was something different about him. I choose to work with what he has to keep him as strong as possible. School was my biggest fear. Children could be so cruel, and my son knows what he has. I mean he really compares himself to other kids his age.

I decided a long time ago that even though my son had this syndrome, I would set high goals and help him to learn to fight for what he could do.

I am proud to say that he is still in a regular classroom with other children his age and was only held back one year (my choice). So he is in 6th grade instead of 7th.

I did all the research I could about food and exercise for him.

Then I learned how his brain processed things (more research).

Then I acted a plan that was mostly focusing on preparing him for what he needed to know in life.

Easy stuff was first, like staying still and out bursts. To eating habits and when and where to eat. Like I learned the Gym and the cafeteria are the worst places for my son. The sounds and the many voices all at once would help him lose control. So we compromised, I explained to my son what was causing him to feel this way and we told him if we found a nice quiet place to have lunch maybe it would help to keep him in the classroom.

That was 4 yrs ago and he is doing great. Don't get me wrong we have our moments when they call me and say he's under a desk. It just doesn't happen that much and usually it's because of some kind of change.(sub-teacher, too much going on, tests,  etc.)

He does have an aide with him most of the day. Our school district is training they're teachers about the syndrome because of the increase in awareness, I believe. Each child has a special spark in them you just have to stop being scared or worried and make the syndrome your friend. Then you can see what it really does to your child and learn to work with what you have. (Keep your enemies close?)

It' s hard to deal with, especially since I have 3 other child (8, 12, 21.) and they do not have the syndrome. My 8 year old son knows about this syndrome and has learned how it works.

My 12 year old daughter adores all her brothers, she always keeps her brother close and I usually find them together playing some kind of card game.

My oldest left for the Air Force in 2003 and that was the hardest time. Autism hates change.

So I make him focus on the things that pretty much stay the same. See to me even if it works one time thats a small step to winning the fight.

Some people say "there is no cure, how can you talk about winning a losing battle?"

Well, everyday I can look at my son and he knows who I am, I win!

Everyday I can get a hug or even a kiss hello, I win!

Everyday I wake up and he is still trying, I win.

Autism is not going to win without a fight from this family!

My 13 year old has allot of stored "use-less" information. Well maybe to the outside world. To us its' amazing.

All my children are very close and when they are together you would be amazed at how much they all watch out for the 13 year old. They also do not let anyone make him feel small. It's really a blessing.

I hope this helps, I love talking about my son and our battle. If there is anyone out there that needs help or just an ear let me know. I'll try.

Saginw, Texas.

I love your attitude on Asperger's!  I too am the mother of a child with Asperger's...Daniel is 8.  I think that learning what a childs specific abilities are (and how they vary from day to day, & under different circumstances) is the key to our kids' happiness and success. I want to make sure that Daniel is living up to his potential, but I am  careful not to push when it is obvious that he is just not capable of something (ex. declining a family function when I see his stress level is high and the added stimulus would put him over the edge). I try to give him the tools to react properly to social cues and situations.  It doesn't always work but I keep trying.  =) My son is the single most loving and dynamic person I have ever met and I want to celebrate that while teaching him how to function in this world (that is full of people that simply don't 'get him').  Our life is constant struggle to find the right combo of behavior modification (changes to suit his capabilities and my own- I AM a single mom, full time college student and working TOO! = ), medication (he's been on up to 4 different meds per day) and therapy (we see 3 different practitioners).  We are just doing the best we can and for the most part we are both happy.  I admire you (the gal with the 13 y.o.) and your family's acceptance of Asperger's......you obviously have filled your home with LOVE!  Have a happy day!
 
November 7, 2006, 4:51 pm CST

aspergers

I am raising a great nephew who was diagnosed with aspergers last year.  He is now 9 and doing well.  He is on medication which helps the meltdowns and is gaining strength, coordination, and endurance in karate class.  He is a straight  A  student in regular third grade classes with a understanding teacher who realizes that he has problems with timed tests.  Our worse problem now is that he doesn't know when he is going on himself usually when he is focused on a game or schoolwork.  I have bought books on social skills training from OASIS the Online Aspergers Syndrome Information Society.  I have had my fights with the school and now they are trying to understand and learn about aspergers but they have problems with the intelligence vs the lack of social skills.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
November 7, 2006, 4:55 pm CST

My 16 year old son

Hello all,

 

I also have a son who has aspergers. But when he was diagnoses with it back in 1994 it was not called aspergers it was PDD. At that time his father was trying his hardest to be kick out of the military so he would not have to be responsible for the child who he considered damage goods. I ended up raising him and his sister on my own for 5 years before I remarried.

 

Even though I married a great guy there are days when even he has a hard time dealing with my son. When people meet my son they alway think of him as being "corky" . He is a great kid & just wants to be loved and excepted but it has been a rough road for him & for his sister.

 

Now I have 2 more children that are younger then he is and it has not been easy on me as the mom. He is having a hard time being the older brother and sharing his things with them. There are good days and bad days & I would not change a thing about any of it.

 

I do know to get through those tough times you need a lot of support weather it be from the schools or your family, friends or an agency, but you need support to get through those times or you, yourself will go a bit nuts.

 

I do know in my case a lot of my friends don't always understand what I might be going through or my family but they do listen to me at times and help me out when I need it.

 

Finding boards like this to chat and learn more about this diorder and know that there is hope helps 

 
November 7, 2006, 4:57 pm CST

autism/aspergers

  I am so glad that I found this!  I have read the postings of other parents, and I was encouraged to add my own.  I am the mother of three, with two sons affected by autism.  My 18 year old son is "moderately-to-severely" challenged by autism.  My almost 15 year old son has Aspergers syndrome.  I guess we get to see it from both sides.  To go to battle for my sons, I have had to learn that I must arm myself with the proper "weapons":  Knowledge of the disorders, knowledge of the laws (federal and state), learning that my attitude affects the willingness of others to help my children, and most importantly, really knowing my children.  I know that we will have lifelong challenges ahead of us.  I know that I will become discouraged from time to time.  I also know that my boys are wonderful, loving, intelligent people who deserve the same respect that all other people do, and so for them I will not give up.
 
November 7, 2006, 5:18 pm CST

asperger's, autism, ADD help

 i recently applied for a job at a clinic that helps people with ADD, autism, and Asperger's. One of the requirements before I'd be considered for the position was that I attend one of the seminars which explained what their clinic is about and how they help people with these conditions. It was a real eye-opener for me. Part of the seminar showed "brain mapping" before and after treatment, which is, by the way, a sort of biofeedback WITHOUT MEDICATION   in most cases. There was also a video of a child and his family explaining the dramatic changes in their child which occurred as a result of the therapy. I am not affiliated with this clinic, but I was so impressed with what they do and the results they achieve that I decided to tell everyone I could about what they have to offer. Please check out mpccares.com. They are in southern California, but once you see what they do, you can look for someone in your area who does the same. Perhaps they can refer you to someone. It is critical that you find someone who can give an accurate diagnosis so you'll know exactly what treatment is needed.  I sincerely hope this helps someone. While I don't know anyone personally with Aspergers, I have a godson with autism and I'm going to let his parents know about this type of treatment.
 
November 7, 2006, 8:36 pm CST

From a mom of a 19 yr. old Autistic child.

Quote From: lnrainyday

 i recently applied for a job at a clinic that helps people with ADD, autism, and Asperger's. One of the requirements before I'd be considered for the position was that I attend one of the seminars which explained what their clinic is about and how they help people with these conditions. It was a real eye-opener for me. Part of the seminar showed "brain mapping" before and after treatment, which is, by the way, a sort of biofeedback WITHOUT MEDICATION   in most cases. There was also a video of a child and his family explaining the dramatic changes in their child which occurred as a result of the therapy. I am not affiliated with this clinic, but I was so impressed with what they do and the results they achieve that I decided to tell everyone I could about what they have to offer. Please check out mpccares.com. They are in southern California, but once you see what they do, you can look for someone in your area who does the same. Perhaps they can refer you to someone. It is critical that you find someone who can give an accurate diagnosis so you'll know exactly what treatment is needed.  I sincerely hope this helps someone. While I don't know anyone personally with Aspergers, I have a godson with autism and I'm going to let his parents know about this type of treatment.
My daughter loves Dr. Phill, and saw these messages regarding Aspergers and Autism. She came and got me to tell you just how it is. I feel that I am one of the luckiest moms in the world. I raised five daughters on my own, and Leslie being my fifth child, and me being single and holding down a job - I can honestly say that I had the perfect little girl. Yes, I battled schools on my own, and yes, I became the hated mom at school due to teachers that didnt understand, but once I educated them and they saw that I was not a threat but in fact a supporter to them also - we as a team made Leslie's evironment more comfortable for her. That is who is most important. The child. My other girls were honor students and along with working with them I worked with Leslie, and the teachers grew to love her. She is going to start college in January starting with one course at a time, adaptive P.E. to help her with motor skills and balance, then she hopes to take cultural anthropology and slowly build up.  I worked with her from day one to make eye contact and I make her respond to people, my life is dedicated to her as long as she needs me as I feel that is so important. I feel as a family we are lucky to have such a fun and sweet child. She is smothered with hugs and kisses by her nieces and nephews, and her sisters and of course me. Things go slow, sometimes with her getting brave - but one day at a time - I As per Leslie, love that child with all your heart. Make them feel safe, keep routines for them so they know what to expect. Explain things to your community as it takes a community to raise a child. Get them involved, like one of my neighbors is teaching Leslie to take pictures and she is good at it. Play group is vital, as they get students training to be teachers to play one on one with your child, they make friends. High school, we did home studies the last year and a half, but it worked out. Then count yourself lucky - God gave us the sweetest kids in the world. I dont do support groups as I work full time, and have my other daughters and grand children that need me also, I do have friends, and I have my Dr. Phill - that is mine and Leslie's special time. She and I didnt get to meet him when he came to sacramento and we were so sad. There was just too many people at the mall for comfort.   If you need any info feel free to ask - I learned on my own. Actually Leslie taught me and diagnosed herself - we didnt know until she was 14 - the schools said, She was over protected, not socialized, learning disabilities etc. When she diagnosed herself I had her tested at Alta Regional - and she was correct. Funny - we hear a child will lead the way - she does and is.  Dee
 
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