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Topic : Asperger's Syndrome

Number of Replies: 125
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 11:59:34 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If your child suffers from Asperger's syndrome, find support and share advice with other parents here.

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May 16, 2007, 8:03 am CDT

What about adult asperger's syndrome?

 I have a family member that has asperger's and it is extreamly hard for him to function in the world being that he is 55 years old and hasnt developed to that age of maturity.  I guess what I would like to know is when aspergers hasnt been diaganosed until late in life what chances do these adults have to have a better quality of life?  All the current material is about children.  It reminds me of when Attention Deficit frist became prevalant....Does anyone have any information on this....
 
May 16, 2007, 9:23 am CDT

A MYSTERY SOLVED

An aunt of mine who is near my own age has a son (now in his 50s) who fit the description of Aspergers exactly. He was very bright; he learned to read almost as soon as he could talk. and exhibited a photographic memory--could read an enclopedia article and  quote if verbatim, including the words like "as in figure 2."  His area of special interest from the time he was quite young was demographics.  He had no social skills at all as a child and my own children thought him very strange. After graduating college he went to work for the U. S. government where he deals with demographics--what else? He has social skills sufficient to get by now, but probably still comes across as eccentric if one doesn't know his history.
 
May 16, 2007, 9:31 am CDT

Adult with Asperger

Quote From: dave41

 I have a family member that has asperger's and it is extreamly hard for him to function in the world being that he is 55 years old and hasnt developed to that age of maturity.  I guess what I would like to know is when aspergers hasnt been diaganosed until late in life what chances do these adults have to have a better quality of life?  All the current material is about children.  It reminds me of when Attention Deficit frist became prevalant....Does anyone have any information on this....
 Hello, I have a daughter, Amazine, who is 31 yrs. old.  She has never been diagnosed with Asperger, but after researching Autism, I believe she has all the characteristics of Asperger's.  She was assessed at Mental Health at the age of 5, at the request of her daycare teacher. At that time I was tiold she was very intellectual for her age, although socially slow. She would probably catch up in time.  she was a pleasant child, but was a loner. She never dealt well with conflict, noises, crowds etc.  With three children very close in age, she was know as my "easy" child.  I continued to treat her as normal as I could and accepted her as being her own person. She was no trouble, so it was easier to deny her differences, I guess.
She read fluently at 5. She also watched a lot of television.  She went through regular school  and although didn't excel, she did enough to get by and graduate.  Because she is so shy, she finds it hard to go out and ask for work, but with the help of an employmentcounsellor, she found work in a tourist restaurant for a few yrs.until she was laid off. She then went to work at Wendy's. That was nearly 9 yrs ago and doing fine.  She has never had a boyfriend, which she would like to have.  She is moving into her own apt. June1st.  She has mixed emotions about this, as I also have. This will be a real transition for both of us.  She has always been quite protected by a loving family.  Her past time is the movies  and tv. She is a wealth of knowledge in that  area.  I have only recently talked to her about Asperger's.  She says her thoughts about this is scary for her.  She was very weepy at first, and now hasn't really asked anymore about it.  I have found information on "Wrong Planet" and   asked her to read about it. I don't know that she has as yet.  I too, do not find much information about adults with Asperger.  I'm feeling really quilty about not hooking her up to services early in her life., rather than ignoring it. I did speak to a dr. at mental health when she wasabout 19 about diagnosing her. His answer was not to "label" her if at all possible.  I would like some feed back. Thanks Patsy
 
May 16, 2007, 9:31 am CDT

Son with AS

My 16 year old son has high functioning AS. After years of being diagnosed with ADD in the 2nd grade the school psychologist realized this was a misdiagnosis in 7th grade. Much to our relief we know what the issues are.

 

 My son not one to be around social settings and talking to others was persuaded to play J.V football, soccer and track. He is not the best athlete and the reason for us to have him join was to learn social skills and earn peer acceptance. The coaches were told of his AS and were very accommodating. Even though he didn't play a down of football he earned the respect of all the players by giving 110%. Much like the movie "Rudy".

 

The past two years he has blossomed and can handle himself in a group setting even though he still prefers to be alone and draw. He can greet people fairly well.

 

We are very happy at his progress. I would encourge your childern to play sports to keep them in social interactions with others.

 
May 16, 2007, 9:38 am CDT

I understand

Quote From: shd1230

An aunt of mine who is near my own age has a son (now in his 50s) who fit the description of Aspergers exactly. He was very bright; he learned to read almost as soon as he could talk. and exhibited a photographic memory--could read an enclopedia article and  quote if verbatim, including the words like "as in figure 2."  His area of special interest from the time he was quite young was demographics.  He had no social skills at all as a child and my own children thought him very strange. After graduating college he went to work for the U. S. government where he deals with demographics--what else? He has social skills sufficient to get by now, but probably still comes across as eccentric if one doesn't know his history.
 I understand your message. I feel that way about my daughter, 31 yrs. old.  Many people wonder about her "eccentric" behavior.  She has never been diagnosed, and only recently  has learned about Asperger's.  She is not real interested in being "labelled" with something after all these years.  She says some people wil say to her" gee, your weird" and she just says "I 'm just me" .  I have said to her if you knew more about Asperger's , maybe you would have a better explaination for you behavior.  Most people are only afraid of things they don't understand.
 
May 16, 2007, 10:07 am CDT

Like others here...

I was looking for something else on the website and saw this topic. My  son was just diagnosed with Aspergers. I've been hearing about some treatments called REI (rhythmic entrainment intervention) and Interactive Metronome to help with certain symptoms. I can find  very  little about these  anywhere. Anyone know anything about these?
 
May 16, 2007, 1:48 pm CDT

I share your concerns

Quote From: denisewagg

I am the mother of a 10 year old boy diagnosed with aspergers.  After thousands of dollars in doctor bills and coutless hours at specialists offices we finally have a name for what ails him.  It is a very confusing time for us.  His emotions are out of control and his negative vocal behavior is very hard to cope with.  I am wondering about other families and this condition, and what has been the most helpful.  We live in a small town and access to workshops or seminars on a regular basis is almost impossible.  His school is helping alot but funding for the teachers on workshops for this is limited.  I really would appreciate anyone's story and some of the action rewards or otherwise helps them. 

 

Thank you in advance

My (adult) child does not have AS, but had a myriad of other problems that challenged him physically, educationally and emotionally.  I am also a mental health nurse who has dealt with many children with AS and other challenging disorders.

 

First, let me address you as mom and human.  Know your needs - plan to get those needs met!  Don't feel guilty when you think that one more outburst will drive you crazy.  Take the time you need to adjust to your situation and then act.  If you are a single parent, partner with others who can give you a break from some of the chaos our children bring us.  Oh, and loose the guilt trip.  For years I wondered if missing one day of prenatal vitamins made the difference - how ridiculous is that?

 

Research your child's disorder, but know that research only reviews a limited number of cases and opinions are just that - opinions.  When your child begins to ask why he is the way he is, answer his questions honestly in a language he can understand.  When my son asked why his hands did not work well and writing was so hard I told him that the 'printer was not hooked up to the computer in his head', and this was why his hands shook badly when he tried to write.  The family had recently gotten a computer and we all understood what happened when the parts were not hooked up correctly!  Prior to a new school year, prepare a packet of information on AS for all of your child's teachers with suggestions on communication and how to best work with your child - they will bow down and kiss your feet!!!

 

Be the expert.  You mentioned that the teachers could not attend workshops on the problem.  Remember that you are the expert on your child.  Offer to teach a workshop on this problem.  Teachers must receive a number of continuing education training hours each school year.  This could be one of them.  What better way to be an advocate for your child!  Remember also that the school is obligated BY LAW to provide your child with an education that meets his needs.  There are child advocacy groups that will work with the school to help them develop individualized education plans and monitor that these plans are actually being used.

 

You owe no one an apology or excuse.  If your child's behavior is disruptive in a quiet setting (i.e. church), explain his situation to your pastor or priest and see what can be done to better help your child to join in at his level.  Plan 'practice trips' to the store when behaviors are out of line - believe me, this works!  When the behavior occurs, remind your child that s/he is not allowed to act in such a manner and that shopping at a store is a privilege.  When necessary, leave while reminding the child that you will return to the store when the behaviors stop.  This takes a lot of time and patience, but is worth the investment. 

 

Plan your intervention.  One of the biggest problems I have seen with parents who get 'stuck' in their child's problems is that they react to behaviors - they do not plan to address them.  Give your child limits - your child needs limits - your child craves limits.  Make the limits reasonable for their age and developmental skills.  Telling a 5 year old s/he is grounded is no more appropriate than telling a 14 year old to take a time out.  I have found that by appealing to the developmental needs of a child you can get them to comply with more appropriate social behaviors.  Set a goal for behavior and a reward together - children are more likely to work toward a goal THEY want.  Because of childhood obesity right now, I would suggest that you do not use food as a reward.  However, a reward that includes food (i.e. pizza party for child and two friends) is OK because it focuses on the social reward of the party.  Use the word 'when' instead of 'if' (i.e. when you finish cleaning your room you can watch TV); I have found that the word 'if' gives the child an option of refusing. 

 

When he was 15, my son went through a period of time when he just refused to bathe - the water on his skin was a tactile experience he could not tolerate.  He would scream and cry in the shower and a tub bath was no better.  In spite of this, he had to bathe.  We did what we could to encourage him and changed the head on the shower, but he refused to try a shower again.  The solution?  When the smell got so bad I moved him on the deck.  I told him he would live there until he decided to take his shower - he decided he liked the air conditioning at night more than the discomfort of the shower.  It took a few days for him to adapt, but adapt he did.  The shower was no longer a problem.

 

Hang in there, Mom.  You have been entrusted with a child with special gifts.  Find those gifts and celebrate them. 

 

Another mom

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
May 16, 2007, 5:15 pm CDT

Thanks

Quote From: martin043

The ability to play 8 musical instruments is quite a feat.I play 2 but don't sing very well at all.

 

I am being treated for chronic pain,anxiety and depression.Music has been very good to me both theraputically and socialy.I go to jam sessions around the area where I live and play in a band.I've made lots of freinds through my music.May I suggest you seek out open jams or open mic events at some local clubs,even a music society related to the type of music you like to play.Let your music do the talking for you.If you are particulary good at one instrument take that one out and jam with others.You don't need to speak,just listen and play.

The instruments come easy for me like 2 weeks to first chair .  I am so determined to live a normal life that I denied disability because I thought 23 was too young to settle for "you are unable to work".  I built self-confidence working in the restaurant industry.  I worked as a prep-cook and dishwasher, but I did answer the phone for the to go orders.  I advanced quickly to being a cook.  I still remember the first compliment I got from a couple and their names.  Then I worked as a busperson.  Little talking but the regulars would start talking to you.  That shook me up, but I had a lot of support from the other staff members.  I become a hostess, greeted and seated.  Little by little I got desensitized.  Now I am a waitress!   Of all things!  I handle people pretty well, but it is usually when people demonstrate that they do actually care about me that I get weirded out.  When I went into my last major depressive episode some people noticed (It does show physically)  and said "I hope you feel better"  I didn't know what to do.  I was so moved.  I won't give up I will understand social issues and be able to function if it's the last thing I do.
 
May 16, 2007, 5:32 pm CDT

PDD-NOS

Quote From: lornad36

 My son was diagnosed 3 yrs ago with ADHD (he is currently 9 yrs old).  I thought that he was autistic (high functioning) or had aspergers.  I believe that he will be diagnosed with aspergers by the time he is 20.  He was a little late to walk (18 mos.) and late to speak in simple sentences (3 1/2 yrs.) but was and is hyper-verbal and by the time he was 2 1/2 yrs old he could read 10 words, knew all his letters, colours, and numbers 1-9.  He has melt-downs frequently and daily, but not at school.  I believe his "good" behaviour at school stems from his high anxiety and fears.  He is more relaxed at home and feels more comfortable being himself.  He has many fears; most are either noise related (I couldn't get him to go to school at all during his schools Fire Prevention Week because of the announced fire drills and he has to leave the room when I vacuum) or due to fear of unknown or change.  He can memorize very well but his UNDERSTANDING of a concept is below his peers.  He will obsess about things...a kid who is mean to him, Spongebob, trains, but not completely exclusively.  He smiles alot, constantly tries to be funny but it's really off even for the kids his age, and is very cuddly.  He doesn't make eye contact very much and though it was officially remarked upon by the Speech/Language Therapist who assessed him other doctors have just poo-pooed it (along with the hyper-verbal, hyperlexia, high anxiety, noise sensitivity, and oh yeah the fact that when he was a baby until he was 1 1/2 he would spin the wheels on Matchbox cars for hours and hours.  He only stopped when he discovred the phone book and would pore over the yellow pages for hours and hours.  That little obsession ended when he was given a calculator at the age of 3.  He taught himself that if he pushed the 1 then the + followed by the = he could make the numbers scroll up into the tens of thousands.).  He is not very coordinated but does not have the text book specific coordination problems of autism and aspergers.  When he was being tested, they discovered that although he is left-handed, he is right-footed (will kick at a ball with right foot).  He is also very socially inept and gets bullied quite a bit.  Kids in his class in general seem to like him but he has only one buddy who is somewhat excentric himself.

I need parents of kids with aspergers to read what I have written about my son and tell me if he sounds like their child or not.  I'm tired of doctors who take out their textbooks to diagnose him.  I'm tired of his fears being blamed on me.  I was told that it is attention seeking behaviour.  His pm teacher (who is also the VP of his school; she team-teaches with his am teacher) had to send him home the first day of Fire Prevention Week because he became hysterical when fire drills were announced.  He is usually good as gold and quiet as a church at school.  When I told her that his pediatrician thinks it's attention seeking behaviour she said that she was convinced that his fear was authentic and that she would support me if needed.  It feels really good to have someone unbiased in my corner.  So what do y'all think.

My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS at the age of 5. He is 11 now. Your son sounds alot like mine. He was very obsessed with many things(staring at his reflection in mirrors and glass for hours,lining up his toy cars in order over and over again, we couldn't leave the house without him either wearing his batman costume, or carrying a dump truck). Sensory overload so bad, that he would literally lay down on the floor at the grocery store or Walmart. He can memorize the complete dialouge of a television program. He has been in special education since kindergarten, and is doing quite well. He still has a one to one aide at school, is in regular class rooms, but needs to take the special bus because of his inability to control himself on the bus.(Too much noise).

He was late in walking, late in speaking sentences, and wasn't toilet trained until he was 4. I was convinced that he had a hearing problem. He would not answer me or acknowledge me unless I put my face in front of his to get his attention. After a hearing test(which proved he could hear), his pediatrician said it was "selective hearing." My concerns about my son's delays were not taken seriously by his doctor. I was always told he would grow out of it. Being my only child, I had nothing to compare him to, so I just thought that everything was fine,and I must be an overly concerned parent.

He has the gross motor skills of a child half his age, but his fine motor skills are only 2 years behind his peers. He has always made alot of odd sounds(chirpping,squeaking,excessive throat clearing), but when he was 9 he started making odd movements too(placing his chin on his shoulder,throwing his arm out to one side extremely fast,and wanting to walk on his toes).When he was 10, he was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome too.

He is very awkward in social situations. He still receives speech therapy 3x a week. Communiction is still a big hurdle for him. He says inappropriate things, and often talks about things that are not the topic of his conversations. He is very rude, but he doesn't know it. He will make eye contact now, but he will not wear any shirts that have collars or buttons.

My son is a delightful child. He has come along way since we first heard about the Autistic Spectrum. The few behaviors that you said your son exhibits,sounds an awful lot like autism to me.What you said about his coordination is a big red flag. I hope your son will be able to get the diagnosis soon. I wish my son was daignosed when he first started showing the signs(about 2 1/2). Talk to everybody that works with your son, especially his school. Has he been evaluated by the school district?

 

 

 

 
May 31, 2007, 6:33 am CDT

MYSTERY SOLVED

I have an aunt who is about a year o lder than I. Her only child, a son, fits the description of this syndrome to a T. He learned to read almost as soon as he could talk. As a young boy he would quote a page he had been reading word-for-word, including "see figure 2" and the like. He developed an obsessive interest in demographics at an early age. His mother managed his eccentiricities very well; his father died when he was a young teen. Since graduating college he has been employed in Washington DC in the Bureau of Statistics.

 

SD

 
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