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Topic : Asperger's Syndrome

Number of Replies: 125
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 11:59:34 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
If your child suffers from Asperger's syndrome, find support and share advice with other parents here.

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October 12, 2006, 2:44 pm CDT

emotions

I am the mother of a 10 year old boy diagnosed with aspergers.  After thousands of dollars in doctor bills and coutless hours at specialists offices we finally have a name for what ails him.  It is a very confusing time for us.  His emotions are out of control and his negative vocal behavior is very hard to cope with.  I am wondering about other families and this condition, and what has been the most helpful.  We live in a small town and access to workshops or seminars on a regular basis is almost impossible.  His school is helping alot but funding for the teachers on workshops for this is limited.  I really would appreciate anyone's story and some of the action rewards or otherwise helps them. 

 

Thank you in advance

 
October 13, 2006, 9:44 am CDT

Keep Your Head Up

I have a 7 year old little boy who has a PDD (PervasiveDevelopmentalDisorder). Thats the generalized catagory(for lack of a better word) for developmental disabilities. Specifically he is autistic. When my son was originaly diagnosed it was by a state funded org. his doctor sent to us. They came and evaluated him in our home to keep things comfy for him. He never minded any of it. I've always felt that my son is actually getting a BETTER education than "normal" kids because of all the one on one attention he gets with his teachers, aides, and therapists. My best friend also has a little boy with autism and he gets star treatment too imho.

 

Your best option is to contact your state gov. and find out what they can offer you. I know it can vary from state to state but most have excellent education programs for kids with special needs. However i am going to humbly suggest that if your home currently is really rural you may have some difficulties with travel times. I will say though that our state has provided my son ALL his school transportation thus far and has been very responsible about it. 

 

You can find TONS of information online about PDD's and everything that comes with them. I recommend you start with WebMD and learn the medicals first. Thier links are also very informative. When my son was first diagnosed i tried to fight my denial by learning about the conditions of PDD's and ended up educating myself for my sons ultimate benefit. I highly recommend the personal ego boost ( =) ), you'll feel so much better once you totaly understand everything. Doctors dont always remember that we're not doctors too so it helps to already know about it.

 

Lastly hun, never forget that your child really is 'special' because only God can decide which of us will be strong enough to bear it. Kids with disabilities are the most loving, tender hearted, gentle, and yes, intelligent people i'll ever meet in my life. Be proud darlin and don't let the tough times get you down, you've got the privilege of raising a child that will love the world and everyone in it like no one else you'll ever meet.

 
October 15, 2006, 6:37 am CDT

Aspergers

Quote From: gwennyb

I have a 7 year old little boy who has a PDD (PervasiveDevelopmentalDisorder). Thats the generalized catagory(for lack of a better word) for developmental disabilities. Specifically he is autistic. When my son was originaly diagnosed it was by a state funded org. his doctor sent to us. They came and evaluated him in our home to keep things comfy for him. He never minded any of it. I've always felt that my son is actually getting a BETTER education than "normal" kids because of all the one on one attention he gets with his teachers, aides, and therapists. My best friend also has a little boy with autism and he gets star treatment too imho.

 

Your best option is to contact your state gov. and find out what they can offer you. I know it can vary from state to state but most have excellent education programs for kids with special needs. However i am going to humbly suggest that if your home currently is really rural you may have some difficulties with travel times. I will say though that our state has provided my son ALL his school transportation thus far and has been very responsible about it. 

 

You can find TONS of information online about PDD's and everything that comes with them. I recommend you start with WebMD and learn the medicals first. Thier links are also very informative. When my son was first diagnosed i tried to fight my denial by learning about the conditions of PDD's and ended up educating myself for my sons ultimate benefit. I highly recommend the personal ego boost ( =) ), you'll feel so much better once you totaly understand everything. Doctors dont always remember that we're not doctors too so it helps to already know about it.

 

Lastly hun, never forget that your child really is 'special' because only God can decide which of us will be strong enough to bear it. Kids with disabilities are the most loving, tender hearted, gentle, and yes, intelligent people i'll ever meet in my life. Be proud darlin and don't let the tough times get you down, you've got the privilege of raising a child that will love the world and everyone in it like no one else you'll ever meet.

Thanks so much for your input I will go and check out the things that you have listed here.  Your right that educating myself is the first step to understanding this. 
 
October 30, 2006, 11:02 am CST

my son is 17 yo w/Asperger's

I came to this forum to post on another subject when I saw this thread labled 'Asperger's'. 

 

My 17 year old son was always referred to as "eccentric."  I have two children older than him, and he was always a mystery to me.  He didn't get diagnosed until age 15 1/2, when his mannerisms already got him into a lot of trouble.  Police, social workers, etc. always said he was very polite and charming, but he got into trouble never the less.  I don't know that I have any words of wisdom for you young mothers.  I only hope that as time goes by the public will be more aware and senstive of people with this syndrome.  It is too late for my son who was put in a "disciplinary" type of school and learned every rotten trick in the book.  BTW, that was after his diagnosis. 

 
October 31, 2006, 1:33 pm CST

Eccentricity

Quote From: neesie819

I came to this forum to post on another subject when I saw this thread labled 'Asperger's'. 

 

My 17 year old son was always referred to as "eccentric."  I have two children older than him, and he was always a mystery to me.  He didn't get diagnosed until age 15 1/2, when his mannerisms already got him into a lot of trouble.  Police, social workers, etc. always said he was very polite and charming, but he got into trouble never the less.  I don't know that I have any words of wisdom for you young mothers.  I only hope that as time goes by the public will be more aware and senstive of people with this syndrome.  It is too late for my son who was put in a "disciplinary" type of school and learned every rotten trick in the book.  BTW, that was after his diagnosis. 

My 17-year-old son is also "eccentric" - and was diagnosed with Asperger's two years ago.  He's never been in any trouble, thankfully, but his grades are abyssmal and he's very shy and awkward.  He has two younger brothers who are far ahead of him, socially, and it does bother him on some level that he's so far behind them, he just doesn't know what to do about it.  Neither do I, frankly.

 

I don't have any words of wisdom for anyone, but I thought I'd just chime in and let others out there know that they're not alone.  It's very painful to watch your child suffer knowing there's nothing you can do to change the source of the problem, but you can be there when they need you.  Sometimes that's all you can do.

 

Valoren

 
November 1, 2006, 6:41 am CST

My son is 13 with asperger syndrome

Quote From: valoren

My 17-year-old son is also "eccentric" - and was diagnosed with Asperger's two years ago.  He's never been in any trouble, thankfully, but his grades are abyssmal and he's very shy and awkward.  He has two younger brothers who are far ahead of him, socially, and it does bother him on some level that he's so far behind them, he just doesn't know what to do about it.  Neither do I, frankly.

 

I don't have any words of wisdom for anyone, but I thought I'd just chime in and let others out there know that they're not alone.  It's very painful to watch your child suffer knowing there's nothing you can do to change the source of the problem, but you can be there when they need you.  Sometimes that's all you can do.

 

Valoren

We learned the syndrome when he was 8. I always new there was something different about him. I choose to work with what he has to keep him as strong as possible. School was my biggest fear. Children could be so cruel, and my son knows what he has. I mean he really compares himself to other kids his age.

I decided a long time ago that even though my son had this syndrome, I would set high goals and help him to learn to fight for what he could do.

I am proud to say that he is still in a regular classroom with other children his age and was only held back one year (my choice). So he is in 6th grade instead of 7th.

I did all the research I could about food and exercise for him.

Then I learned how his brain processed things (more research).

Then I acted a plan that was mostly focusing on preparing him for what he needed to know in life.

Easy stuff was first, like staying still and out bursts. To eating habits and when and where to eat. Like I learned the Gym and the cafeteria are the worst places for my son. The sounds and the many voices all at once would help him lose control. So we compromised, I explained to my son what was causing him to feel this way and we told him if we found a nice quiet place to have lunch maybe it would help to keep him in the classroom.

That was 4 yrs ago and he is doing great. Don't get me wrong we have our moments when they call me and say he's under a desk. It just doesn't happen that much and usually it's because of some kind of change.(sub-teacher, too much going on, tests,  etc.)

He does have an aide with him most of the day. Our school district is training they're teachers about the syndrome because of the increase in awareness, I believe. Each child has a special spark in them you just have to stop being scared or worried and make the syndrome your friend. Then you can see what it really does to your child and learn to work with what you have. (Keep your enemies close?)

It' s hard to deal with, especially since I have 3 other child (8, 12, 21.) and they do not have the syndrome. My 8 year old son knows about this syndrome and has learned how it works.

My 12 year old daughter adores all her brothers, she always keeps her brother close and I usually find them together playing some kind of card game.

My oldest left for the Air Force in 2003 and that was the hardest time. Autism hates change.

So I make him focus on the things that pretty much stay the same. See to me even if it works one time thats a small step to winning the fight.

Some people say "there is no cure, how can you talk about winning a losing battle?"

Well, everyday I can look at my son and he knows who I am, I win!

Everyday I can get a hug or even a kiss hello, I win!

Everyday I wake up and he is still trying, I win.

Autism is not going to win without a fight from this family!

My 13 year old has allot of stored "use-less" information. Well maybe to the outside world. To us its' amazing.

All my children are very close and when they are together you would be amazed at how much they all watch out for the 13 year old. They also do not let anyone make him feel small. It's really a blessing.

I hope this helps, I love talking about my son and our battle. If there is anyone out there that needs help or just an ear let me know. I'll try.

Saginw, Texas.

 
November 7, 2006, 6:22 am CST

10 year old

Quote From: denisewagg

I am the mother of a 10 year old boy diagnosed with aspergers.  After thousands of dollars in doctor bills and coutless hours at specialists offices we finally have a name for what ails him.  It is a very confusing time for us.  His emotions are out of control and his negative vocal behavior is very hard to cope with.  I am wondering about other families and this condition, and what has been the most helpful.  We live in a small town and access to workshops or seminars on a regular basis is almost impossible.  His school is helping alot but funding for the teachers on workshops for this is limited.  I really would appreciate anyone's story and some of the action rewards or otherwise helps them. 

 

Thank you in advance

I am the mother of an 11 year old also diagnosed with AS since the age of 6.  I have been to doctor after doctor, have spent money that I do not have.  His behavior is now out of control and I am at a loss of where to turn too next.  The worst thing I believe that has happened to my wee boy is that he was placed in a special education program for children with behavioral problems early on in school...I have been in touch with MAAP (VERY HELPFUL RESOURSE) and have just recently been made aware that these types of programs are by far the worst place that a child with AS could be placed, it's like placing the victim with victimizers, because AS children are so literal, they are products of their own environment, this then becomes learned behavior from children with violent tendancies. I fully believe that the school has good intentions to help him but are not educated enough to deal with these children and are not all sympathic with what is going thru their little minds, I'm told practically on a daily basis, that he has to follow the "rules", or he will be placed in ISS (in-school suspension), a regualr main stream classroom is not the place for a child with AS, they  have to be transitioned into these types of environments.  So when he does have a meltdown, he is punished for it.  Not taking into consideration his medical condition that he shouldn't even be in there in the first place.  My little boy is a bright, intelligent individual but because of his AS, it is now affecting his academics. 

 

I desperatly need help in finding a resource that will help me place him into the correct educational program.

 

Kind Regards

 
November 7, 2006, 8:20 am CST

I have Asperger's syndrome

Hello.

 

Growing up has not been easy for me. I was bullied relentlessly in my childhood and early teens. My biological parents were very cruel to me. Then, I moved to another city where I lived in a poor neighbourhood for a couple of years. I also spent nine days in jail a couple of years ago, even though I insist that I didn't do anything wrong.

 

My peers consider me to be a very intelligent person. I graduated from Ottawa, Canada's Carleton University in the nineties. I also consider myself to have a lot of common sense with plenty of "street smarts".

 

I once spent my time with other mentally ill people. That was a terrible mistake. Successful people surround themselves with other successful people & that's exactly what I've done.

I was on social assistance on two occasions but now collect a disability pension while working full time at a coffeehouse. While I am very happy with my current situation, I am not yet content.

I'd like to go back to school so that I can reach my potential while no longer being classified as an underachiever.

 

One of the knocks against mentally ill people is that they have poor social skills. However, my life experience has enabled me to learn from society on how to interact with others.

 

In the past, I have been in and out of psychiatric wards. Now that my living arrangements have drastically improved, I can function a lot better as my visits at the hospital have become fewer and fewer.

 

I take medication every morning to help make me remain sane. Yet, it has been the bold choices that I have made in my life that has prevented me from being sucked into a downword spirral. I no longer have any contact with any of my biological family nor am I a client of that mental health agency any more. Those two groups did not make me feel good about myself as they tried to run my own life against my will.

 

Now, I live independently on my own. I take excellent care of myself and my precious cat.  It took an awful lot of time, but things are finally going well for me. My advice to people with Aspergers syndrome or mental illness in general is to hang in there and persevere. Do not consider suicide or any other way of quitting on life. There are plenty of people to turn to. Even though life has been good to me, I continue to see my family doctor and social worker on a monthly basis. It's what keeps me humble.

 

That is what I'm willing to share with all of you. May you all have the fortitude to excel in life rather than settling for the limitations you think you have. Thank you & God bless.

 

Sincerely,

Fred. 

 
November 7, 2006, 9:01 am CST

success with asperger's...my son's story

I have a 17 year old son with Asperger's syndrome.  He was diagnosed with his disability when he was 8 years old.  School officials knew something was unique with my son but couldn't lay their finger on it until 3rd grade. 

The way my son described himself was that he "couldn't change channels".  I sat down with him, showed him printouts that I had gotten off the computer about his disorder.  Explained to him what his strengths and weaknesses are and told him to pretend that his hand was a remote control.  When his teacher changed classes, I wanted him to "push a button" on his hand to help him change channels.  After that, he could keep up with the rest of his class.

Kevin has always been in regular classes with his peers.  The only outside help he has received is from the school resource room which he went to for 1 hour each day as a study hall.  He no longer needs that class.  Currently he is a senior in our local high school, an A-B student, with a steady girlfriend, is holding down a job, and no one would ever guess he has any type of disorder. 

Recently my son asked me if I would take away the Asperger's if I could, and my answer was no.  He is such a wonderful, caring person and I can't imagine him any other way.

By the way, I also have another son with a totally different type of autism, one with ADD tendancies, and two other "littles".  I wouldn't trade any of them for anything in the world.

 

 
November 7, 2006, 9:48 am CST

I have asperger's syndrome

I also am coping iwth asperger's synfrome. I am twenty-eight now. It has gotten easier to cope, but when I was younger my life was hell. I was socially inept. Unable to make friends. At first I never knew why. I just knew there was something wrong with me that the other children never could identify with. Unfortunately I had to navigate through childhood with the help of a medical professional. My mother was a single mom who was ignorant of the syndrome , she just thought I was a shy and awkward kid. I never did good in school, because the teachers did not have the patient or even tried to work with me on my level. The only thing I really exceled at was reading. I was reading large books at the age of four or fiv, by the time I was in middle school I was reading sophisticated novels like space odessy by isaax Asimov. Needless to say I love the library. I am hoping that many parents try to understand the effects of aperger's on a child especially socially and communicating with other's. As I remembered many adults did not particularly care for my atitude so they believe. I was always more independent than other kids, never tried to be the teacher's pet  and was happy when I was pursuing my own thing even in the middle of class. I was place in special learning diablities classes and programs such as studen timprovement programs and alpha a class for students with discipline and academic problems. The funny part, was that the teachers always remarked that I was a rather quiet kid, shy and awkward. No one understand. i am still struggling with academics. i am constantly challenging myself with new things. I am constantly focusing on the positive, but I still struggle with relationships. I never had a boyfriend and making friends with others does not motivate me much. However I know I must make friends and network. It is just really hard.  I never pick up on whether or not a person wants to become friends. When i do try, I find that I must disect them, mentally and physically, I want to know what makes them tick and all other things about them. I started living with two other roommates this past two months. I have lived on my own for eight years. I find that I close up even more. I don't have any support system, but I hope for parents of children living with asperger's syndrome know that that is the most important thing you can give your child.
 
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