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Topic : Safeguarding Your Kids from Internet Predators

Number of Replies: 75
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 12:05:20 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
With more and more children accessing the internet, safety is a key issue. What should you be aware of and how do you keep your own kids safe online? Share your tips and advice here.

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May 15, 2008, 4:01 pm CDT

myspace

i want  myspace but  i can`t get one till i`m in middle school next year what do you think about myspace

 
July 8, 2008, 1:29 pm CDT

Web site

Dont worry my parents wont let me get a myspace either. And I am going into highschool next year. I dont really want one anyway. There are so many people who you dont know. That is what I am always told. I just go to other sites that are a little smaller. And they are sorta like myspace. Dont worry about it.

 
July 15, 2008, 3:06 pm CDT

Beware

I am an admitted overly protective mom.  We have one computer and it is in the living room.  I watch my 13 year old almost constantly on the computer.  Notice I said 'almost'.  I went to check the mail one day while she was on a popular childrens doll site.  Fortunately, her older sister was nearby in time to see a man ask my daughter for a picture of her breasts and offered to send her naked photos.  We can never be too careful. 

My daughter is no longer allowed on the internet unless one of us is right by her side.  It sounds like a invasion of her privacy but it is much safer.

 
July 15, 2008, 10:00 pm CDT

A bit disturbed

I'm a bit concerned.  So many parents here are talking non-stop about how to control the internet.  What ever happened to sitting down with our children and discussing the dangers of the internet in detail and helping THEM to have a knowledge of warning signs to look for?  Telling them what information to never give out, how to beat the feeling of flattery that comes with someone being interested in you and what the results can be?

 

I have little doubt that if my 11 year old daughter is faced with any signs of an online predator that she'll immediately end the discussion or come and get me to see what I think.  She has been using the internet for about 3 to 4 years now.  I won't say that I'm so insane that I don't limit the sites that she visits... heck- I even bump into a porn site on accident every so often.  But parental controlls are there for a reason- on both the computer AND the tv. 

 

I truly think that the amount of monitoring that you give your children depends completely on how much you trust them.  I still glance over my baby's shoulder as I stroll through the living room, by all means.  But I also know that my daughter understands the consequences of talking to strangers- whether in front of our house or on the web- and she will do just as much as I will to protect her and guarantee that those consequences never happen.

 

The internet is definately a very scary place!  But knowledge is power for even children- and we can only protect them from the world for so long before society starts expecting them to be intelligent enough to make their own decisions. 

 

I think a LOT of people might be surprised if they started laying information and choices at their childrens feet a little more and tried to GUIDE them into a good decision instead of brow beating them with whats right. 

 

It's really no wonder there's teenage pregnancies and drug addicts all over... what got these kids in trouble in the first place (at least in my opinion) is the simple fact that they just finally made their first decision on their own at 16 & 17... is it any wonder they screwed it up??

 
July 23, 2008, 6:53 am CDT

Password Protect the Computer

My daughter is 14 and if left to her own devices would be on the internet at all hours, as she is unable to stop herself, and always needs "5 more minutes"

 

I have now password protected all the computers at home, so when she needs to go on-line she has to ask me to  give her access.  I therefore know when she starts to use the computer, I give her a time limit and when the time is up I make sure she logs off.

 

After a few weeks, she has actually said that it is a relief not being tied to the computer as she has time for other interest and appreciates the time she is actually "on" or with her friends.

 

I feel that we must not be browbeaten by our kids - we are parents first and if we feel what they are doing is not right we must act on that feeling - it is not easy but peace of mind is a great reward.

 
August 19, 2008, 2:00 pm CDT

Education not punishment

After reading most of the messages and replies here I would like to say a couple of things.

First off, there is no such thing as total control. It is that simple, there is no way to control or know what your child is doing a 100% of the time.

The 'problem' here is not just one problem, but a combination of problems. Most parents know less about technology (and how to use it) than their children. Most parents use these technologies (if used at all) for different things then their children. Most children seek their boundries or attempt to brake those already laid down. Most children seek affection, respect, love etcetera..

In my oppinion the main problem here is that children do not go outside and socialize enough. They are used to playing games on the pc, they are used to watching a screen etc etc etc. It is a habit and habits are learned.
And offcourse some habits are hard to stop, but being addicted to gaming/chatting for example is quite similar to being addicted to drugs or such.
You are gaining something you would otherwise not gain (or not that easy), despite the fact that something may be bad for you, it does not mean it cannot make you feel good. It is all just chemical reactions, being addicted is not something only adults can experience. However, children usually do not even realize something is bad for them. Look at all the teenagers smoking and/or doing drugs, they were told it is bad, but do not realize it enough to never start.

Get your kids outside, play with them, talk to them, encourage them to play and talk with others. Let them develop their skills and have fun as well (having fun is VERY important). You can always talk to them about why something is wrong or dangerous (and you should!), but you cannot teach them to live.

Do not let the tv or pc raise your children, when they know right from wrong it is up to them to do the right or wrong thing. Until that time the parent(s) should be the ones teaching them, remember children pick things up fast, including bad habits..

Offcourse you should always keep an eye out, but if you purely prohibit and limit now, what do you think will happen when they become adults and go into the 'outside' world?
So get off of your fanny and give your kids what they deserve instead of putting them in front of an 'idiotbox' just because you are used to the thing (I mean the tv/pc/etc offcourse not the kids :D). When they are old enough they can always decide to go that way themselfs.

Do not let them replace real life, with people they can see and hear, for people they just have to trust to be true. Wich, by the way, is what most internet predators are taking advantage of.

In short terms, act as you would in real life. If you let your (young) children play outside near a street, would you leave them for hours, because 'most likely nothing will happen'?
No (or I surely hope not), you would teach them the street is dangerous and why. Same goes for the internet and as with both, you cannot teach that wich you do not understand.
 
September 29, 2008, 4:25 pm CDT

Support your kids..

I am a teenager that loves the internet. I used to play a MMORPG called World of Warcraft. It's a great internet video game where you can meet a range of people. Good and bad. And if you want to protect your kids, (plainly speaking from a teen position), support them!!! Be there for them! Don't be like my mom and completely don't support me. I have a boyfriend of 5 months from the internet and we are happy. Yes, the distance is painful but if it's what we have to go through to be together we are going through it. The only thing stopping us now is my terrible mother. She doesn't support this one bit and it's killing me. She just pushes the fact that he even exsists under the rug every time he's mentioned. He has sent me a Build-A-Bear stuffed animal, lillies (Twice!), and Enchanted on DVD. Now if you call that a predetor then I obviously don't know what one is! I know he isn't one, by the way. I would love to get Dr.Phil's advice about this someday. :) I don't know where else to get help.

Otherwise, it's really important to teach kids that getting super personal with a person they recently met on the internet is wrong wrong wrong. Just be open and honest to them, and help them. You can't leave us in the dark and then throw us out to the real world expecting us to know what to do. And you certainly can't lock us up for our entire lives.
 
September 29, 2008, 6:15 pm CDT

MySpace

 I have an 11 year old son. He is a wonderful boy and I have no major problems with him at all. I am very proud to be his mother. He wants a MYSpace page and I refuse to allow it. His usual response is "All my friends have one" which is true. I know that he just wants to talk with his friends and would most likely never talk to someone he does not know personally. At least not at this stage.  For one I don't like him to sit on the computer and/or video games. He is very active in sports and won't have much time for it anyway. I try to give him some freedom yet be somewhat strict and very involved at the sametime. I am stuck with this one. My instincts say NO but my heart always wants to give him what he wants. Any suggestions??
 
November 17, 2008, 6:13 am CST

Well...

I'm a teenager myself, 14 years old, and i think that parents should not deny their kids to go online on pages like, MySpace, Forums and such. When i'm on the internet, i always think of the dangers that are there. You just have to avoid them, or pwn them. ;) Lol, just kidding. I think that the only thing needed for 12+ year old kids when they're going on the internet, is knowing about the dangers and about Netiquette. They will deffinetly make it. That's it. Teach your kids about what you can and can't on the internet. Have an eye over them. They will eventually learn it. :)

~Hika.
 
January 11, 2009, 3:21 pm CST

Safeguarding Your Kids from Internet Predators

this is the best child Protection i have use for my children

 

http://jonninn.imsafer.hop.clickbank.net/

 
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