Topic : Safeguarding Your Kids from Internet Predators

no webcams PERIOD! They are only used to see outward apperence.

Put computer in a room where you, the parent, can walk by at any time.  This will keep kids from being places they shouldn't be.  which brings me to..

No Chatrooms PERIOD!  Your kids had friends before internet. (If your kids are laking in the friend department, try to find organizations in your community with potential of meeting new friends)  You still have a telephone, tell your kids to call thier friends.

Ask your kids-friends-parents to monitor the internet in THIER homes as well.  If they dont see the "problem"  ask them not to let your child use the internet at their house.

Remember your children can go to the library to use the internet.  They really DONT need it at home.

Parents need to use thier natural radar systems.  If something seems wrong, it probably is.  I hope my advice seems helpful, and doesn't sound too much like I took it straight from an episode of Dr. Phil (which some of it probably did)..:)

That seems like SO severe. Im only 14 and i know i dont know everything. But not letting your kids IM their friends or going to a chat room? Personally, I think that as long as they're talking to their friends only then whats the big deal? Alot of it is that kids just wanna fit in. Like Myspace, we just wanna have what all our friends do. Its a cool way to keep in touch with them. And truthfully, when my mom gets all mad and sets up these rules, NO this, NO that before I even do anything it makes me feel paranoid and like, almost as if she doesnt understand where im coming from. Now the webcams, I agree with that. But as long as you know the site your kid is on and you know they're talking to their friends ONLY I dont see the problem Plus dont critisize them for asking for a myspace, xanga, friendster, etc. But I do agree with the computer in the living room, checking out what they're looking at, monitoring their friend lists, and such. I just think the absolutely NO internet thing is drastic. I hope this doesnt sound like a typical 14 year old complaining and whining. Im just being honest on how some kids view it.

I have a question for all of you out there young & old alike. I created a fake profile on myspace to see how far I could get with my stepdaughter and her friends. (both profiles are "private) I request to be "friends" with my stepdaughter's friend & she let me in. After reading all of her comments from way back in September to present, I found out some disturbing things she said about myself & her dad. A few days into this they both figured out (from the Trakor thats on her friend's site) that it was me. My stepdaughter was so pissed that she e mailed her father to "handle this".  I then deleted the account. But as he put it, if I could get that far, how far would a "bad person" get?  Now mind you they are 17 yrs old, but I think they are very naive. She said she never wants to see me again-now mind you we are going to visit them in March for her brother's graduation from college.  What do you think?  Was I wrong? I admit, maybe the way I went about it was deceitful, but it worked.

Thanks

I can understand that it is hard. I am not a mother, but I am a twenty year old girl who had some friends who chatted people up on the internet. And believe me, it is not safe. The thiong is, young people love to talk about the things they don't like to people they don't know. The whole idea is that the people you are talking about will never read it. I am not saying that what she did was right, not at all. But for the 'bad person' on the internet... The only thing you can do is raise your daughter the best way you can. If you worry about her, talk to her and do not let her send you away. A friend of mine went on a date when she was 16 with someone she did not know, and she still regrets it.

 But about you making a fake profile... That never works. Two years I had a boyfriend who I really loved and because I made a fake identity to find out what he was doing ( I had the feeling he was cheating on me) I found out a lot of things I did not want to know about him. It totally broke my heart. So I would advice people not to make fake accounts... Honesty is the way to go. Just ask, respect the other person. Everyone does things they regret later. You should base your relationship with her on honesty. But, of course this is just my opinion...

I can understand your concern for your neice. She has chosen to become in a lifestyle that most people consider dangerous. Considering the fact that she has some mentally disabilities it makes it even harder. At her age though you can't stop her, but you can sit her down and talk to her and make some preparations to make things safer for her, which appears to be your ultimate concern. There is things called safe calls. Does she have a cell phone? If not make sure that she gets one. The two of you sit down together and figure out a safe word, so that you can call and she can use that word if she is okay. Tell her you need their address and phone number, not because you are checking up on her, but because of safety concerns. Then when you call her, if she doesn't use the the safe word you to come up with call the police.

I can tell that a lot of times, people who become involved in bdsm relationships ecspecially on the submissive side, feel that they were born that way. They have had that intense need to serve for as long as they can remember. But if she is only 9 months into this relationship, she isn't ready for a collar. The collar is much like a wedding ring in traditional terms. It is taken as a very serious commitment between the two parties.

I will keep you both in my thoughts.

well just walking by every now and then isn't enough you will need to educate yourself on using a computer aswell. I as a teen can do anything I want if I wanted to. The computer is in a common room but I know the computer better as my parents and am therefor able to allude my parrents if I wanted to.

As for chat rooms I agree don't allow them untill they are wise enough not to do stupid things. but you should allow teens to use messenger programs like MSN messenger or ICQ there are others but these I've used and therefor now risks are relativly low (if they don't give their email addresses they won't be added by someone. Why should you allow this? It is an important part of teen culture and a teens social network now a days also for making homework for instance.

Just make sure to check over their shoulder every once and a while.

For the webcam part it isn't all that helpfull anymore most children carry around mobile phones with camera's aswell and they'll still be able to post pictures on the net if you aren't carefull. Often these pictures or video's have higher resolution aswell.

Also most of you own a digital (video) camera which is easily connected to your pc aswell and most digital foto camera's have an option to video aswell nowadays. So instead of forbidding it just make sure they wont do anything stupid by teaching them the dangers of the internet and how they should use it safely (again this involves educating yourself aswell.)  B.T.W. I do think you shouldn't let your twelve year old have a webcam for instance but a proper educated 15 year old will be able to use it without much danger.

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