Topic : Physically Challenged Adults Support

  TRUE STORY, THE KINGDOM THAT CRUSHED MY LIFE

I don't know what this poem is about!
I just came here to release a shout!
I'm tired of the way life is treating me.
Might as well hang me from the old oak tree.

Hush,,shhhh, life be still, there's a time to live and a time to kill.  There's a time for sorrow, a time for defeat, a time for ridicule, a time for free speech!

Why doth the man who travels long, and works hard, fall into deep despair, given on regard; to his health, happiness, humanity or suffering.

There exists an evil, in the corporate world, with men of great riches, chasing the golden pearl.  They use you, and abuse you, then when you are worn to frail.  They kick you away, beat you down, they can all go to hell.

The lie and cheat, to hurt an innocent man.  Then control your destiny every way they can.  With their billions they play a game with my soul, but I'm broken and shattered, and living in a hole.

No sunlight, no hope, no easy way out.  Destined for destruction, they will see that without a doubt.  That I intone to fail miserably, despite my disease, they go home to their warm comfy home and watch their big T.V.

The didn't care then, they didn't care now, I was just a work horse, they managed to wear out.  They conspire with their experts to stomp me in the ground.  I am in pain every day because they took me down.  With their powerful kingdom, pledged to humanity and resolve, they defy their own rules of humanity, They are hypocrites of the highest degree.

I follow the Words of God, Love thine enemy.  I've tried more than once to mend any doubts.  They refuse to acknowledge me, and people I thought were friends, bow down to the wishes of the mighty empire.

They crushed my body, they laughed in my face, they even named a god after me, to further humiliate and disgrace.  So I told them one last time, I tried to make peace, and it's up to you.  But if you feel I am dirt and scum ss before, reject my offer of peace.

This story is true, a ruthless and inhumane kingdom, beaten me to a pulp.  They threatened my life, I tell no lie, they vowed to annihilate my life.  No regards for pain and suffering, no concern for my deep despair.  Even now they are rude and unconcerned, hateful cruel and proud.

Their commitment to press me deeper, in the mud pits of despair, they relent not to their promise, to leave me to die, without a care.  Nazis is the best way I can describe, their ways of endless torture, and laughing at my demise.

So let me be clear, you men of spiteful and greed.  Your day will when you face the Lord, you will pay for all you deeds.

I tell no lie, My suffering is the cause of them.  I have been trodden down, like a beast, like a Jew as did Hitler.  They are even more evil than the third Reich.  Torture, torment, they are proud of their defeat.

Yes, I am defeated, with no one to take my side.  This company is sinister, evil, full of selfish pride.  They prevent me from working by defaming my name.  Hundreds of potential employers, turned me away.  For the Kingdom of Lafarge, they had it their way.

Depression; Fibromyalgia; periphail neuropothy, or neve damage to nerves that control motor functions/

 

Paralyzed in the mornings, severe pain and muscle tightness, daily.

 

I do have a purpose, biut these demons within that hinder me, and the demonic, cruel, ruthless, and inhumane people who have destroyed my life have made it almost impossible to even get a job, they have utterly destroyed me.

 

A multi-billion dollar corporation, teach all of their diversity, but it's all a lie.

 

Thanks man for the encouragement.

 

 

A STONE'S THROW FROM MISERY

I look outside and what do I see? The bare limbs of the Oaks and Sweet gums; the apple trees, and the peach trees. They all appear to be dead. But the evergreens now hove their moment to stand out, be noticed, and fill the voids of a wintry atmospheres; cold, dark and dreary.

The leaves have died, all over the ground. A process of nature I do not understand. Yes I know they provide top soil and such, but they were so beautiful when they were attached.

As doth my soul, it dies, and again is reborn. Obvious for all to witness. Appearing that I have died, my limbs of hope are bare, my branches of production have lost their grip. On the leaves of my soul, my appearance has been altered. But not by season, only when they falter.

I cannot hold on to the leaves of my being, that make up the whole me, the real me, the alive me. They fall as they may, and occasionally return. They shine only for a short time, then they fall to my feet. More often than not doest my soul endure this despair. And it's only on occasion that my leaves do my branches bear.

I watch the ever greens, productive days on end. But the pains I endure determine when mine will end. My roots are rotten, my core eroding. Each year I grow weaker, soon my life will be broken.

I began to lose control many years ago. Can't hold onto to the leaves, during Spring or the bitter snow. Yes I blame the world for my bitterness and hurt; for they understand not now badly I hurt.

Pains jabbing in my neck, like a serrated knife; my body feels beaten daily, like a stick of device. If one or the other, I probably could stand. But the mind and the body attacks this dreadful man.

Sinking slowly in the agony, no place to run and hide , JUST A STONE'S THROW FROM MISERY IS THE PLACE WHERE I RESIDE. Across the river of doubt, you can find me there, But you must cross the forbidden mountains, to find my home of deep despair.

It's useless to tell you; for help you cannot give . I will drown in my pity, with no rescue team to find me, to allow me to live. A shell is my hide out, a song is my prayer, O Lord don't let me suffer, you are the only one who cares.

Take me away to that land of promised hope. just please don't leave me hanging here at the end of this rope. Save me or let me fall, the pain is just too much. Give me hope or give me death, I just need you gentle touch.

If only you would let me, I would rise above this cliff, and walk on solid ground once more, all my burdens you would lift. A sign, a glimmer of hope, is all I need to survive. But I've been waiting for years on end for my soul to be revived.

IF YOU READ THIS MY FRIEND, I NEED A HELPING HAND. LORD, LET SOMEONE HEAR ME, AND BY MY SIDE TO STAND. FOR A REASON, A PURPOSE, THE STRENGTH TO CARRY ON. YES I HAVE TRULY DETERMINED THAT I AM ON MY OWN

It's easy to say for me, but being happy is a choice. Don't let others decide how you feel. Many companies, officials, et.c etc. have let me down in the past. They did not reach out the tiniest bit. But I did not let them get me.

Take a deep breath, grab yoruself together and fight back in another positive way. Let them see that they cannot brake you, how hard they try. I'm proud of you man, I know you can do it.

 

Wish you loads of strength,

 

Mikao

I have my ups and downs.  I am criticized by many, embraced by others.

 

All of my poetry is not negative.  I flow with my emotions.  some good things may be coming my way soon.

 

I have published about 50 poems in the past week.  Here's one you mght can relate to.

 

To Whom it May Concern,

 

This is my authentic self, accept this or NOT!

 

One of my many poems:  This is who I am:

 

My Sweet Lord Part II Ode to George

The Fab four, once commanded our thoughts; our dreams, with the realization that there was talent to be heard, debates to be made, records to be broken, people to hate, love, live.  Characterized by a unique style, appealing to the young, offensive to the old, neutral to others.

Expressions on disc of black, and over frequencies with no lack of audiences, fans, and haters.  An uprising of a new culture, feeling good, happy.  Defied by a stubborn group of society, criticizing, wary, turning sons against fathers, mothers against daughters.  Now here are we, most of us grew up fine.

John, George, Ringo and Paul.  Names of controversy, but people with a mission; innocent in their intentions, trying to achieve fame; boy did they.  

Remarks were made, people were enraged, records burned, even the FBI was intimidated.  Under their watchful eye, a group in defiance of the culture as set by the previous generation; treating them like criminals, harassing, implications of evil and rebellion.  Oh, but just innocent and living life.  Then, they went their separate ways.  What a sad day in America.

Many things they achieved, their own souls they searched, just like the rest of us, for answers, for spiritual connections, for acceptance, for a place in this life.  In their shoes, we know not how they felt, what they sacrificed to bring us the sounds of music unheard, unique, captivating, and undeniably masters of the industry.  Through it all, none can deny, they changed the world.

Mistakes, yes, just as us all.  Let him that is without sin cast the first stone.  Judge not lest ye be judged.  Seeking comfort of the soul, divine guidance, again criticized by society, embracing a culture and religion we don't understand.

Hare Krishna was the path they chose.  Right or wrong?  Who are we do judge?  Who's to say who is right and who is wrong?  In my teens, over the loud speaker at a recreational facility I head the words of George in a song, not knowing who this artist was.  My Sweet Lord stuck in my head, a pleasant addiction to the expressions of the heart and soul of a man who sought religion in his own way.

Little did I understand, little did I know, be accepted and respected George for the message he sang out with all his heart and soul.  Believing, caring, expression of the level of genius.  A master piece, inspirational to me, comforting to my soul.

For many years the song rang out in my head, simple, yet compelling, convictions of connection to my very soul.  My sweet Lord, I really want to see you, really want to be with you, really wanna see you Lord, but it takes so long my Lord. My Sweet Lord.  I really wanna know you, really wanna go with you, really wanna show you Lord, but it want take long my Lord....

What a powerful message demanding the attention of millions,  emitting a vibration of spiritual proportions; a radiation of phenomenal effects.  Nothing less than a divine force of exaltation of the highest power of the universe.  All from a man, that along with his peers, was drug through the mud, debased, demoralized.  But standing fast, holding strong to the convictions of his spiritual experiences and conviction.

George, a man of life, a man of contributions to our society, a man of immense talent a exalted by millions, yet humble and compelled to send us a message; a message of his deepest feelings about his relationship with his Sweet Lord.

We still love you George.  You song is in my heart every day.

 

Hi folks,

 

I'm new to this group of DR Phil's message boards.  I'm physically challenged too.  I live in FL, but originally from PA..  I'm 49, divorced, with two grown sons, one in PA and his family (a wife & 2 babies ) and one son in NY.  I moved here a year ago, for health reasons.  I miss the family so, though.

 

 I know is sucks.  But what can we do but live one day at a  time.  It just does not help when government, society and the medical profession kicks us in the teeth, and don't rightly give a darn!  It puts us in the middle of a locked trunk with no key.

 

Anyhow maybe one day things will be brighter and one day someone cares and gives us they key!  Then one day  one of us may be able to give someone a key. 

 

That is one thing my father was good at, being considerate, kind and always doing a kind deed.  He said to never stop doing that,  that one day someone will returm a favor.  I remember him saying that as we were leaving a football game and there was a long line of cars going one way and a long line behind us. We had to cross paths, so dad being the person he was lef the other guy at the front of the line go,  There was other times when he'd give up a parking spot.  Mom said, what did ya let him go for you had the right of way.  Then that is when he said that.  He had said it at more crucial things too.  It's hard to find many folks like that.  Anymore it's hooray for me and ta heck with you! 

 

Just like the Medical profession, as long as they can make the bucks, piss on the patients.  And if you only have SSI/Medicaid, forget it, most won't touch ya.  They don't look at the reasons your on it for, they don't care!  At least that is what I have found. 

 

I need back surgery, and I have a bad heart and I desperatly need to lose weight, but they all fight each other as I am sure some of you know!   Also cannot find any specialist  in the state of FL to take Medicaid.  Except  I did find a Cardiologist and an Electro-Cardiologist.  So see there are a few, very few,  kind specialists, just they are far and few between.

 

Anyhow I wish you all the best, and may your key arrive soon!

 

Love,

Deb

Hey Deb...my name's Becky, I live in Oklahoma though I'm originally from Texas. I'll be 49 in march, and I have 4 kids. Like yourself, I have a bad back. Well, actually that's an understatement. Even my doctor is astounded at how bad it is for my age. I had a rough go of it years ago, until I found a doctor who wasn't afraid to thumb his nose at the DEA and prescribe me what would get me on my feet again. I was suicidal before that happened. He literally gave me my life back. I'm with a new doctor now, a female...very respected. And she's continued with my therapy, since it's about my quality of life...and the fact that I can not and will not ever be "fixed". I'm on disability, and have been since I was 38. I also had a heart attack (stress related, don't tell ME that stress can kill, lol!!) when I was 41. I had my last child at 42, the light and joy of my life. Was married over 20 years, the father of all 4 of my kids. Long story there...but it's history now.

Anyway...welcome. I haven't hung around here too much, just thought I'd pop in when I saw your post. Immediately I recognized someone who has been where I've been, and currently where I'm at as well.

One day at a time, one step at a time. Some days, one breath at a time......*hugs* Becky

I have read several of your posts. I don't know what to say, and that's doing something. I am sorry. I am truly sorry that you have had the situations thrust upon you that caused you to feel the way you do. I am but  a mere mortal myself, I have no magic cure, no magic words, no magic bullet. All I have is validation for your feelings. I hear you. I really, truly hear you. And I sympathize. That's not to say that I feel sorry FOR you...I just hurt b/c you're hurting. I just wanted you to know.........

Hi Becky!

 

Nice to meet you and to hear from others like me.  It's rough.  I hate being on SSI and Mediciad!  IF I can ever get thing under better control and pain bearable, I want to one day get back into the work force and be a tax paying citizen again.  It's very demeaning being on SSI .  People like to think we are just lazy.  I'd like to know what the doctors feel we arre to do, roll over and croack?  I don't think so, I want to be able to go north to see my grandbabies! It's bad enough they had my grandsons baptism yesterday, and they never even let me know they were having it!  I called my son to visit, and he was saying he had to go, to get around for Alex's baptism.  They couldn't wait until we (my bf and I) go back up north in the May  for the summer!  Anyhow that is another story

 

I also once have tried suicide,  about 7 years ago, but not due to my health, from going through a divorce.  Where was DR. Phil back when I was married? LOL  I think he could of saved our marraige!  We both was being stubborn. But we are at least friends now. That is another story.

 

To get back on track here.  My heart, I've had CHF and Atrial fib.  I've had a few cardio conversions and an ablation.  I am crossing my fingers, since the last conversion last June,  it's stayed normal.  But it is getting the time of year it usually goes back into Atrial fib.  I don't think the time of year has anything to do with it. But, it's just the way it has worked for me. 

 

Man we both have had the bad stuff at a relatively young age!!!  It would be nice if we could do like they do with automobiles when the bodies bad , but the insides are good they just replace the bodies and visa versa. lol

 

With my back I have degenerative disk disease, which causes siatica,  and then the rest of me has rheumatoid arthritis.

 

I go to get started on pain management on friday, since there are no neurosurgeons in state of FL that takes medicaid.  With my heart I do not know what they can do for me, but will see.

 

I'm glad you dropped a line.  I was starting to think that no one came to the message boards as much anymore.  I'm glad to know someone is out there!

 

Hugs,

Deb