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Topic : Physically Challenged Adults Support

Number of Replies: 86
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 12:10:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Share advice and support with other adults with a physical disability or special needs.

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April 13, 2007, 6:52 pm CDT

Get a SSDI lawyer on contingency basis...then seperate from your wife to save her!

Quote From: falling_star

IT'S BEEN THIS WAY FOR MONTHS ON END.  THE GA DOL REHAB SERVICES DEEMED ME DISABLED, NOT ABLE TO WORK,. IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE SS ADMIN, THEY SHOULD ALLOW ME DISABILITY.

 

THEY TOLD ME (THE SS ADMIN) THAT THEY WOULD HAVE AN ANSWER BY THE END OF JANUARY, NOW THEY SAY BY THE END OF THIS MONTH.  THEN I CALL MY REP TO ASK QUESTIONS ON NUMEROUS OCCASSIONS, AND SHE WILL NOT RETURN MY CALLS.

 

THIS SYSTEM IS MISERABLE, INCOMETENT, AND FRANKLY, THEY DON;T GIVE A DAMN.

 

ONE PERSON ON THE FEDERAL LEVEL TOLD ME THEY WOULD EXPIDITE MY CLAIM BECAUSE OF MY FINACNIAL SITUATION, SHE TOLD ME TO TOUCH BASES WITH MY GA REP.  THE GA REP NEVER, EVER RETURNS MY CALLS,

 

 

oh, THE LOCAL MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES WILL NOT EVEN RETURN MY CALLS.  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET HELP, WHEN NO ONE, NOT EVEN THE LOCALS WILL RETURN MY CALLS?

You can get a social security lawyer look in your yellow pages and they  only take 1/4 of what back pay you are owed by the ssdi people from when you first applied for ssdi.

 

I had to leave my exhusband to get any help medically mentally too. I am still struggling myself so I don't have all the answers...my exhusband was also sexually abusive once every 3 or 4 months...due to his stress levels...we went through a bankruptsy and ended up homeless ourselfs...the best thing you can do is to get the lawyer, seperate from your wife legally for financial reasons...talk to a lawyer or read up on the internet?? The SSDI lawyers are motivated to get you help so they can get paid!

 

Jan

 
April 20, 2007, 1:36 pm CDT

Modified baby furniture

 I am hoping someone can help me locate a source (catalog/website etc) to locate modified baby furniture -I am working with a mother-to-be who is paraplegic. Are there any moms out there who found items that made parenting a little easier due to adaptive equipment ? I have done hours of research online and find mostly site that are helpful if the child is disabled.

I'm really hoping Dr. Phils viewers can help !!

Thanks .

 
May 7, 2007, 10:10 am CDT

I need help!

My father in law is 66, widowed, in a wheel chair,  has no legs, is blind, is a diabetic, and has had several strokes. He needs 24 hr. care but refuses to go to a home. So currently he has a care taker come in daily to be with him and his other son stays overnight. We live out of state and our ongoing problem is that he is full of anger and takes it out on everyone around him. He has gone through numerous care takers. And we are about to loose the one he has now, because he constantly argues and berates everyone, especially family members, if they don't do exactly what he wants, when he wants. He acts like a spoiled little child for the most part and doesn't care who he has to bully to get his wishes accomplished. He calls us numerous times on a daily basis just to ask 'what have you done for me lately'. Even though my husband works 12 hrs. a day in his own job and then in the few hours he has left in the day, manages his fathers business, long distance. And I might add, at the expense of his own daily relationship with us. My father in law manipulates and berates and when he is called on his behavior, he says he doesn't know what we are talking about, that he has always been a perfect gentleman, that we are just liars. We are at our wits end. We don't know how much of this behavior is just being a pain in the you-know-what, or is the result of his health. He is on anti-depressive medication, the first thing we can think of doing is to have his medication checked to see if it needs upped. But is that the only solution? Do we need to check into a therypist to see if we can work on his issues also? I am thinking so, but my husband says he has always been a grouchy, argumentative old fart and he would probably just argue with the therypist and get nowhere. Would we possibly benefit from him being in a home where they can moniter his meds constantly? His current caretaker is a nice young woman and does well, but is not a licensed medical professional as he refuses to let us hire a trained professional for him. The abuse from him to all, is to the point where we are about ready to walk away; my husband has had it, his other sibling has had it, I have had enough and the care taker also called this morning threatening to leave.  How can we turn this thing around?

 
May 11, 2007, 1:25 am CDT

please help me! I really need your opinion!

hi! my name is carina. I'm 16 (nearly 17). and I really need some help. I dance. It's one of the most important things for me on earth (really) ... My biggest wish is to become professional... I'm not from america.... but my jazz teacher is american .. so last summer she took 7 girls (including me) to the united states to dance (TREMAINE..) that was the best time in my life... When we were there I was sooo full of adrenaline that I wasn't able to eat... I never felt hungry ... when we were at the swimming pool all were shocked 'bout how thin I am... and so on... the whole week they were talking 'bout me ... I didn't notice that for a very long time.. I wasn't able to go to the restroom alone everytime somebody else went also to the toilette... they weren't sure if I throw off... My dance teacher always told me to eat.. she watched me all the time we were in restaurant and so on.... there was a test 'bout eating habbits in a dance magazine she read out loud and wanted me to give her answers but I didn't ... she told me that I was to thin and so on... I had a "best friend" (she isn't anymore..) and the husband of my danceteacher is always making jokes and call her paris hilton .. so once my dance teacher said you are the friend of paris hilton but you really don't have to be nichole richie... we went home 2 days before my danceteacher returned home because she spent two other days with her mother... when we said goodbye she huged me and wanted me to promise her to eat (she said she want's me to be able to dance) I'm not sure but I think I saw tears in her eyes (but today I think this can't be true) ... [ when we were in the states wasn't the first time I got told to eat ... She told me to eat a few times before.. and her friend who also dances at our studio ( she is a doctor) told me very often to eat... but in america was the first time I got told very directly to eat.. don't know if you know what I mean] okay when we all were back at home my danceteacher gave me a nutrition plan she  printed out...  she also sent me links like (Nutrition Fact sheet - fuelling dancers).... so 'bout 2 weeks after we returned she took me by her side after dance class and talked to me... she said that I'm really too thin and that she thinks that I have an eatingdisorder that I look weak and she asked me if I would think to be a better dancer when I'm so thin... and so on ... I started crying and said that I really can't see it that I really can't see the problem because I think that two other girls are much more thin than me... she told that that's really not the truth... and I really have to do something she said she could talk to my parents if I want but I told her that I can't tell my parents because they would never let me dance again (that the reality!!! with an eatingdisorder my parents would never let me dance again!) she asked me if I'm throwing off and all that stuff... she promised me not to tell my parents if I gain weight but if she sees that I'm not she would tell them... so she bought a pair of scales and weighed me... she gave me limits I had to reach.. and so on .... she worte me emails ... I had really much attention... but after 2 months or more I wasn't able to reach her limits ...I wasn't able to gain weight I really tried no matter that I didn't want that I tried to gain...
she some day said you have an eating disorder because you need my attention.. that was really hurtful. I really felt like somebody stabbed a knife into my body... after a few weeks she gave me a sheet were she wrote things on it  [like: * You will be a better dancer if you nourish your instrument (body) properly. * You have just as much talent as anyone else her in your age. * Your low self estem is stopping you from going further * I have known dancers with less talent that you that have gone very far because of their belief in theselves * do something (ie. professional therapy) to hlp your self esteem and your dancing will improve light years * having a life outside of dance (family; friends, school etc. even if tis at frist uncomfortable) will make you a better dancer] she said she wrot that to me because I'm not listening to her and she can't keep on going that way... she said that I'm a 16 year old intelligent girl and that I'm responsible for my body.. she told me that I can decide what to do and she wouldn't say anything.... I shouldn't know but I know that she called my partents and told them that she is concerned... thank god my parent thing I'm absolutely normal.... my "best friend" I mentioned before , her name is christina suddenly didn't want to meet me outside of danceclass didn't speak anymore with me , said painful things to me ... I really didn't do anything wrong! she really want's to hurt me all the time! we are not friends anymore. to be more exactly we hate each other... Everything has changed ... christina is going to america next year (as an exchange student....) thank god she is leaving (sorry I know sounds really awful but she really has done really ugly things to me) She now is my danceteachers darling her sugarplum... chrissy really sometimes doesn't have respect from our teachers ... she acts in a way that's not okay.. when she is doing somehting like that ; like giving saucy answers our teacher is only laughing or says nothig ... if I say something normal (really normal have tooo much respect for her than giving saucy answers would never do that) but something she maybe doesn't want to hear she preaches me not to give a choreographer an attitude in future because he would cut me off.... and so on ... our teacher is ignoring me or when not most time saying hurtful things to me .... I'm going on her nerves with my low self esteem and so on... but it's just not that easy you can't wake up and say oh today I love myself I'm the best at everything I'm doing .. that's not the way it goes... I think I'm confrimed in my thinking because she always says that correction is a good thing (it shows you that the teacher thinks you can do it better ) if you don't get corrected then you have to worry... she is ignoring me ... so I'm a hopeless case because I don't really get corrected anymore... when she called my parents I know that she told she is afraid /doesn't want to correct me anymore because I'm taking it personal.. but  I don't believe that .. she is also not acting like I would have talent.... I would she wouldn't ignore me.... she wouldn't say hurtful things... I think she made a decision between me and christina I don't know if she did that conscious or unconcious I really don't know... but she made a decision and I really think she hates me I'm going on her nerves.... she askes me if there is to organize something like drive in an other city to get a costume but only because she knows I'm doing everything ... in other situations I'm ignored... That is sooo hurful to me!!! I'm crying my eyes out because of this whole thing! I don't know why but she is the most important person in my life and it just hurts sooo much I can't express how much this hurts me! and I really don't know how to handle it!!! I really don't know what to think... why does she hate me so much??? Know I'm pretty sure that she didn't care 'bout me she just acted that way because she didn't want to get any fault if I would have a breakdown.... because maybe some people might think that the dancteacher should have seen my problem... I have to say that first I didn't believe that I have a problem then I really thought that I'm anorexic but now I really thing that I'm healthy and not ill I also don't know what to think 'bout that whole thing I'm so confused.....
and now since 3 weeks ... I'm not ignored the whole time any more by my danceteacher sometimes she really is very sweet to me but the other moment she is ignoring me again or saying hurtful things.. but one thing is sure no matter how she is acting ... christina is her darling her hope .. the star .....Most times I really feel like crying and I don't know how long I have the power not to cry.
Christina told me that was before our friendship break told me that our danceteacher sent her links : like help for friends and familymembers of people with an eating disoreder... and so on ...
but I now know that she was the only of all girls who said it's not her problem I have to handle it on my own and I shouldn't act that way it's going on her nervers that I get attention... and all that stuff and many more hurful things I also got told that she was saying very hurtful and mean things 'bout me long time before that whole eatingdisorder thing .. she always had something against me...
now she is teasing me the whole time in public... she is laughing at me when I dance and so on...
I'm really very sad

Sooo sorry for the long post!!!!!
please tell me anything (but really only your opinion... don't be just nice because I'm feeling so bad tell me your opinion please)
please help me
(I'm sure there are a lot of mistakes in it but I hope you understand what I mean sorry for the mistakes)
  

 
  
 
May 16, 2007, 2:50 pm CDT

Refuse to stay stuck in depression

Quote From: amkmom

Cheri - I also have Fibromyalgia & CFS.  I'm 42 and have had it for 10 years.  At first I thought I was dying and the doctors just couldn't figure out what from.  Then when I realized I wasn't dying, but would have to live with this indefinitely, I wished I was dying.  But, a strange thing happened.  After being in bed for 6 straight months, I spent a lot of time reading, studying my Bible, writing, e-mailing friends - I began to gain encouragement.  I may have lost who I was on the outside, and I have to live with a lot of pain, confusion, depression, fatigue like no one can fathom...I became a new person on the inside.  I had plenty of pity parties (& still do!!!), and I feel it's ok to get down sometimes.  I just finally chose to not STAY down.  This illness may have my body, but it couldn't have my spirit.  I was and am still worth something.  There are still things I CAN do.  I CAN be an encouragement to others, including my husband and children.  I can send notes or cards to others who are in even worse shape than I am.  I can pace myself, plan rest days, and enjoy moments that I DO feel ok.  I can go to my daughter's softball games, whether I'm in a wheelchair or walking, lots of pain or not, I go anyway.  The disease WILL NOT rob me or my daughter of that.  I have had to give up a lot of things-physical strength, energy, living without pain everyday, sleep, memory, being able to eat anything and not get "sick" from it (I have IBS), smaller waist line, ability to do a lot of things I used to do, such as work full time, ride a bike, go for a jog or even a long walk...But I force myself to focus on what I CAN do.  I know it sounds cliche', but what are my options?  I can feel sorry for myself and stay in bed, or I can do the best I can with what I have and focus on the good.  (Remind me of that on my next "bad" day!!  =)  You're right - people DON'T understand.  I look, for the most part, basically healthy.  But I guess I don't really understand what it's like to live with cancer, or severe Type I Diabetes, or Parkinson's, or a heart condition.  That's why I think it's soooooo important to connect with a person or persons who DO understand, such as a support group or just a friend.  God gave me a friend shortly after I was diagnosed.  She also had (& still has) CFS/FMS.  We were the only 2 people in the world it seemed that understood each other.  We still stay in touch, just not as often.  But it has helped me more than I can say to have a friend who understands exactly how I feel.  Do you have a local support group you could contact?  You can get on the national CFIDS website and try to locate one in your area.  I do feel for you, and understand the pain, frustration, sense of loss and sometimes worthlessness - but you ARE worth something!!  There is SOMETHING in this world that ONLY you can do.  It may be as simple as caring for your grandmother or sending frequent notes to a nursing home resident that no one else visits...But reaching out to others is THE #1 anecdote for depression and discouragement.  But anytime you'd like to "talk", please feel free to e-mail me at amkmom6089@aol.com.  Sorry this is so long!  Hope you didn't get too tired reading it!!! Take care of yourself, and take life one day at a time, literally.  Julie from Oklahoma

I think the biggest problem with pain and depression is that when we are haveing a bad day we get on the pitty pot and begin to accept that this is our lot in life from here on out rather than seeing it as a bay day. The best thing that happened to me was to realise that negativity is a choice and i can refuse to indulge. If i am in a lot of pain on somedays and just try to manage the pain for that day and (do what i can do )then i won't get depressed. My depression was so bad that i did not want to wake up anymore but since i have decided that negativity is a choice, i do not have to make i have not been depressed in over a year.And i think my pain is less because of that.

 

Othapedic test project from Denver. I have 2nd shoulder replacement from shattered humerous and more hardware than a Ace Hardware Store due to a bicycle car accident in 1997. And once i stopped complaining about how good my health was before that and started dealing with where it really is I stopped getting depressed and am finding solutions.

 

Mark from Denver

 
May 29, 2007, 5:15 pm CDT

help my wife

Dr Phil Show

5482 Wilshire Blvd. #1902

Los Angeles, CA 90036

 

Dear Dr Phil,

 

        I am writing this letter in regards to the situation regarding my Wife of 41 years, Lorraine.  I hope that your staff relays this letter in your direction.  I feel that if you could possibly read this letter you would assist us in completeing her recovery.  

 

        On December 7th 2003 she suffered a massive coronary event that resulted in a loss of oxygen to her brain for a period of forty minutes.  She was at her mother’s preparing to attend a baby shower for our nephew’s wife.  She decided to clean a path through the snow for her mother to walk to her car when she just “went down”.  Her sister was nearby and called for help.  The neighbor came over and attempted to administer CPR but to no avail.  At this time her sister called me at home and just stated, “Lorraine fell and we are taking her to the hospital”.  I was preparing to go to work and quickly changed and went to the Hospital.  I waited there for about 40 minutes, but it seemed like forever, for the ambulance to arrive.  When the ambulance did arrive I noticed that the siren was not going and they were not in any particular rush.  My sister-in-law ran up to me and related what had happened and told me that they couldn’t get a sustained heartbeat.  This set me into an area that I would never have imagined to be.  My only concern was to be with her.  Every one there told me that she was gone.  I went to her side and could do nothing but shout in her ear to “hold onto Jesus”.  Within a minute she had a heartbeat, irregular but steady.  Most people around her could not explain why, but I knew that God heard my desperate cry.  

        During the next few hours various people came up to me and said that she would never recover and the best thing to do was “let her go”.  I looked at her lying there and realized then that God was in control, not any person there.  They took her up to the ICU where they hooked her up to all the monitoring devices and stated that no one ever survived from this long a period of Anoxia.  They lowered her body temperature to try and prevent any further damage.  I stayed at her side and just kept on praying.  I notified our pastor and he immediately started a prayer chain.  On December 8th they performed some tests to analyze her condition.  The Neurologist stated, “The likely hood of her recovering was not an issue due to the fact the best she would be ever be is a vegetable”.    I stayed by her side and continued to pray and maintain my faith that “with God all things are possible”.  Needless to say that the next few days I was filled with mixed emotions.  With everyone feeding me negative reports and my faith being stretched I didn’t know where to turn.  I had to be still and let God “do His thing”.  After 6 days had passed she started to show signs of brain activity.  The problem with this was that no one was around to witness this.  After 8 days passed she opened her eyes and just stared blankly into the room.  The doctor came in and said that this was just a normal response of someone who comes out of a coma.  She continued to improve in her physical condition over the next 6 days until they moved to CCU for observation.  No one was ready to admit to what they had witnessed was truly a miracle.   

        On the 22nd of December she started to respond to outside stimulus and the staff of the CCU unit couldn’t understand why she was still alive.  Again I knew that God had a purpose for sustaining my wife.  On December 24th she was transferred to Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in Boston to start the long recovery process.  But this was just the start of various trials that would try the strength of our faith.  She started to have reactions to the medications that she was taking.  She suffered from blood clots in her arms and legs and needed to be transported to Mass General for treatment.  Each treatment caused reactions that seemed to be worst then the original problem.  She would cry for hours on end without knowing why.  The chief Neurologist came to visit her and immediately stated that what he was witnessing was truly a “miracle” of God.  This was the first time that we had outside confirmation of our faith.  The setbacks kept on coming, blood clots, joint infections and arrhythmias.  During the month of January she had an event that sent her to Mass General for the most traumatic time of her recovery.  It was discovered that she had an Arrhythmia that may develop into a life threatening condition, if not treated.  This would further put her into pain that would last for as long as ten to twelve hours at a time.  The first Catheterization process had to be aborted, due to hemorrhaging, after six or seven attempts.  I still don’t know how she endured the pain.  It was discovered that she had a reaction to the blood thinner, Heparin, and a substitute had to be found.  After clearing her body of the Heparin they replaced it with another chemical.  This caused almost two months of lost therapy time.  They finally were able to perform the Catheterization, but the procedure took almost six hours, rather then the usual 1 to 2 hours.  After the procedure they had difficulty in stopping the blood flow and the doctor had to apply direct pressure over the incision point for over two hours.  During this time my wife was again in pain, which I still don’t know how she endured it.  They implanted a stent and an ICD unit. She stayed a Mass General for another two weeks until she became stable enough to resume therapy.

        At the end of February she was transferred to Northeast Rehab in Salem, NH.  This became the first positive step forward that she was able to take.  But the therapy kept being interrupted by bouts of depression and abdominal cramps.  Doctors had various tests done without any positive outcomes.  Finally on a Friday morning she began to have projectile vomiting and she became very pale and became unconscious.  After being transported again to another hospital it became apparent that she had a very large kidney stone that was blocking her urinary tract.  It took three separate treatments, and one month to put her back in therapy.   At this time we were informed that the insurance company would not pay for any more in-house therapy treatments.   This was at the end of April of 2004.  I was forced to seek other sources of therapy.  Fortunately my sister and daughter were available to assist me in taking care of my wife at home.  In June my sister had to return to Florida and it became more difficult in maintaining quality care that my wife deserved.  Next my daughter had to find a place to live, because her boyfriend had arrived from California.  This left me alone to care for my wife and maintain her therapy schedule.  This proved to be a little more stressful then even I anticipated.  I visited my doctor and he assisted me in getting time off from work to allow me time to care for my wife. 

        My wife has made significant gains in her recovery, but still has a long way to go until she is fully recovered.

         

        My wife has beaten all the odds and is living proof that there is a God and that he is in charge and not us.  What we need now is another miracle.  I have seen where you have provided many people with assistance in finding a place to get into rehabilitation.  In the case of my wife, she needs to be placed in a facility that can complete her recovery, someone who can take her to the final stages of her therapy and return her to the place where she belongs.  She has made significant gains as far as being able to walk with assistance and speak and coordinate her physical activity.  She possesses all her mental faculties and reasoning abilities.  With the contacts that you have and the heart you possess to help, that you are the only person that I know of that could possibly help her in achieving her goal.  She needs the final push to restore her health.

 

        If you are willing  to assist us in completing her rehabilitation this would be greatly appreciated at this time.

        My wife would greatly appreciate even hearing from you, even this would greatly encourage her in her rehabilitation.

 

   May God continue to bless you in all the good work that you do.

  Thank you for your consideration.

 

        Anthony Hauntsman

        

 

           

           

 

 

 
May 31, 2007, 10:59 am CDT

Physically Challenged Adults Support

Quote From: hi2day

My father in law is 66, widowed, in a wheel chair,  has no legs, is blind, is a diabetic, and has had several strokes. He needs 24 hr. care but refuses to go to a home. So currently he has a care taker come in daily to be with him and his other son stays overnight. We live out of state and our ongoing problem is that he is full of anger and takes it out on everyone around him. He has gone through numerous care takers. And we are about to loose the one he has now, because he constantly argues and berates everyone, especially family members, if they don't do exactly what he wants, when he wants. He acts like a spoiled little child for the most part and doesn't care who he has to bully to get his wishes accomplished. He calls us numerous times on a daily basis just to ask 'what have you done for me lately'. Even though my husband works 12 hrs. a day in his own job and then in the few hours he has left in the day, manages his fathers business, long distance. And I might add, at the expense of his own daily relationship with us. My father in law manipulates and berates and when he is called on his behavior, he says he doesn't know what we are talking about, that he has always been a perfect gentleman, that we are just liars. We are at our wits end. We don't know how much of this behavior is just being a pain in the you-know-what, or is the result of his health. He is on anti-depressive medication, the first thing we can think of doing is to have his medication checked to see if it needs upped. But is that the only solution? Do we need to check into a therypist to see if we can work on his issues also? I am thinking so, but my husband says he has always been a grouchy, argumentative old fart and he would probably just argue with the therypist and get nowhere. Would we possibly benefit from him being in a home where they can moniter his meds constantly? His current caretaker is a nice young woman and does well, but is not a licensed medical professional as he refuses to let us hire a trained professional for him. The abuse from him to all, is to the point where we are about ready to walk away; my husband has had it, his other sibling has had it, I have had enough and the care taker also called this morning threatening to leave.  How can we turn this thing around?

I went through a similar thing with my adoptive mom.  My adoptive dad passed on in Dec. 1989 and I was a healthly tean before that and was able to help my adoptive mom at home and work a full time job.

 

Then when my adoptive mom got sick I had MCS and could not stand to be in her home from all the scents she refused to get rid of and just fussed at me telling me it was in my head.  Well my husband was working a full time job and doing things for me I could not do because of the MCS and also helped take care of my adoptive mom like doing things for her that I could not do. 

 

Before the sickness she was so independant and would say she could do anything anyone else could do even better.   She was very out going and doing things when she wanted.  She would get ill with us if we did not do things the very minute she asked and would call neighbours and talk about us like we did nothing for her.  It was hard to deal with.  I would pray for God to heal my mom or me from the MCS but it wasn't in His will to do so.  I was an only adoptive child with health issues of my own and a husband that would bend over backwards to help her out but could not always do things right then. 

 

Then after having one of her legs amputated and a paralyzed left arm had to willingly luckily to a home and because of various health issues and kidney failure passed away.  But she did realize after her leg was amputated that we could not take care of her as she was 6 feet tall and big boned and it took 3-4 at the nursing home to turn her etc.

 

I think the fact she was sick and could no longer do things for herself made her frustrated and very ill for she could say some cruel things sometimes that would cut to the core.  I wished she had of adopted more children as it was hard as an only child with my own health issues to do much or all that she needed.

 

I just recommend if he does go to a nursing home that someone visit frequently to check on how he is taken care of and keep them on their toes and even put a phone in his room like we did with my mom so I could check on her at anytime. 

 

I think our family knows we love them and won't leave them and for that reason take it out on us when they are in pain or frustrated. 

 

Your in my prayers.

 

Donna

 
June 1, 2007, 7:59 pm CDT

About MS

Quote From: bettybooppink

 Cheri,

I too am disabled. I have MS and am in a wheelchair. I worked for many years with the elderly and with Hospice ( the terminally ill). I still feel like I could be a productive part of the work force but cannot get anyone to look past the wheelchair or work with me on the hours I put in as the fatique is awful. I am depressed most of the time but that is part of the disease so I don't need more obstacles to depress me more. But for the most part I try to make the best of my position in life and find ways to stay up beat all though it can be a challenge most days. I understand what you mean about people being unkind and uncaring and sometimes that includes your own family. But I try to stay close to my God and do the best I can do. Feel free to email me anytinme to chat. I would love to have a new friend. Sharon

Dear Cheri

 

I am 45 years young today and I was first diagnosed with MS at 42 years of age.  .  I have worked in health care as a nurse assistant, nurse and paramedic.  I ended my last job as a administrative medical assistant.  I could no longer do the jobs I used to on account of my illness which is multiple sclerosis.  

 

 When I recieved the final word of the diagnosis after months of tests and a trip to the ER , lumbar puncture confirmed the bad news.  I was at a loss.  Everything slowly began to end.  It felt like the end of the world. 

 

I saw recently on the Dr. Phil show, where a husband stated that he did not sign up for this.

 

Caring for his wife with a chronic  illness.  I got news for him and for others who feel like they got something that they didn't ask for ,  Here is a news flash   ""well the person who has it  didn't ask for it either "  !!! 

 

There are no guarantees in life.  If, the husband had this illness he would expect the wife to help him out.  I am sure she would.  Why can't he show her support. She sidn't ask for this.  Like me, if we had a choice of illnesses to chose from this would not be it. 

 

We all don't have picture perfect bodies that work well all the time. He could get a brain tumor or cancer, and it would be something the wife didn't ask for.  Would he want her to leave him because he is ill.?  of course not.    This is pretty much what he is saying to her..

 

When he took the marriage vows did he not hear  the phrase  "in sickness and in health."  ?  It  did   not say if you become ill the marriage is over.

 

I am surprised at people who show their faces on live TV and make stupid statements like this.  It shows others just how shallow and self involved and unintelligent you are as person. 

 

I'd be embarrassed to be associated with a person like this or be married to someone.  .  NOBODY IS PERFECT, OR HAVE THE PERFECT BODY OR IN A  PERFECT SITUATION.  When, you marry someone its not for the present and everything is fine and well. Its for better and for worse.  Unfortunately she got dealt a bad card in the deck, just like I did   in having MS

 

So for the husband, get over yourself and grow up.  She does not like this illness either.

 

  I ended a 12 year relationship with a man who said that he did not sign up for this caring for a person who is ill   Well, I didn't sign up for Multiple Sclerosis, either. 

 

 I have the remitting and relapsing form of MS.  Staying with him would make it worse and more hospitals stays due to the excaberations I was having due to the stress I was under.  Since, I have ended the relationship with him over 2 years ago now.  I have not been in the hospital due to pressure and stress I was under with him and trying to do everything.  It was not happening. I could not do everything and I watched a show the Dr Phil had one day  It wasn't happening for me and  I was not getting any better and it wasn't working for me. So, I asked a family member to come and get me and I went back one day to collect my things with my brothers and I was gone..  I am better or I should say exarcabition free and very little stress and I am back with my family and old friends and I have a new love .  There is light at the end of the tunnel

 
June 2, 2007, 6:14 pm CDT

right on sister

Quote From: marsgramna

It doesn't look like too many people look at this message board, but I am going to comment anyway. I hate the phrase "physically challenged"!!! The media thinks this is politically correct. It is not. I am a person who has a disability, not a handicap or a challenge. Any time other words are used to describe people with disabilities, it undermines our visibility and our right to participate in society just like everyone else. Society has sugar coated and watered down words that describe something it doesn't want to look at or acknowledge. People with disabilities have been shoved aside, hidden away, discredited, ignored and discriminated against for centuries. Probably from the beginning of time. Just because I use a wheelchair and have to do things a little differently doesn't mean I am not able to do anything. It doesn't mean I don't have feelings or that I don't spend money in the market place. Society has looked at people with disabilities as an inconvenience to be tolerated. Even with the Americans with Disabilities Act, I have to find out ahead of time if a building is wheelchair accessible before going there. And even when they say they are accessible, I may be able to get in the door because of hastily constructed ramp, but I am unable to go any futher. Accessible parking is a joke anymore. Everyone and their brother as a permit to park in those places even if they are perfectly able to walk. This message is more of a complaint than a support for anyone, and I appologize for that. I have had multiplesclerosis for 34 years and have learned to deal with it one day at a time. However, there are days when I am so frustrated because of the cost of medications that I need to take and can't afford to buy. The government doesn't make it any easier. And try to meet new people and make new friends sitting a wheelchair. Don't even ask if I have had a date in the last 10 years! I am very frustrated tonight and feeling very alone and depressed. My disability makes it evern more difficult to get a decent job that I spent 10 years in college to be able to earn enough money to pay my medical expenses. Sorry I am not very cheerful.

 

 I agree with you  100% , i also have MS .   i AM  NOT  WHEELCHAIR BOUND YET. But  sometimes at the stores on my bad days i use one of the stores chairs. i can't stand the way people look at me, like"why is she using that " or " she looks OK to me " .  Kids i can take the looks but old people are the worst. Sorry i was writing to say Thank you for specking up for us all, God bless you and yours if you wont  to chat some time drop me A line.                  Thank U

                                                                                                                         Kim

 
June 20, 2007, 4:25 pm CDT

Pseudo Seizures ( Non Epileptic)

I have been an epileptic since I was a Toddler.  Since then, I have had been suggested to get a full lobotomy when I was 18.  "NOT"!

 

I had a right occipital lobectomy in 1989. I was 28 yrs old. That helped for 1 1/2 yrs. Then my seizures started back up.  I had received a vagal nerve stimulator just 5 yrs ago. I received my first seizure response dog in 2004.

 

I went to see a "Specialist" about a new drug study. While getting tested for approval, I was told my seizures were non epileptic type seizures. And then in one full breath said" You do not have epileptic type seizures, never had, never will & don't even consider it!"

 

This dr. told me I use my SZ dogas a crutch and i should return him to the school! "NOT"

 

He then told my neurolgist to start taking me off my meds. That was in June of 2005.  In Dec of that year, I had a 3 - 4 hour true epileptic seizure.  My wife, Millie, was told I probably won't make it through the night.  They, The ER physicans were able to stop them by either placing me on a ventilator 3x's or placing me in a coma, 3x's too.

 

Both Millie and myself are very confused about all this.  My Sz resp. dog, does detect the pseudo types.  But knows something is wrong.

 

Our hole life was turned upside by this one dr.  My whole left side of my body is affected more and more after every event.  Alot of damage to my left side is done.  Phys Therapy and occupational does help for that time. but results get set back after every seizure occurance.

 

My neurolgist placed me back on my AED's. But the damage is already done. And I could not find one single attorney to take my case. because it's seizure oriented and not a slam dunk win.

 

Millie & I need some assistance with answers and support.

 

Thank you for listening.

 

I had tried searching for an attorney

 
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