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Topic : Physically Challenged Adults Support

Number of Replies: 86
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 12:10:41 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Share advice and support with other adults with a physical disability or special needs.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

October 12, 2007, 2:36 pm CDT

osteogenesis imperfecta

Hi guys,

First of all, I am a HUGE Dr.Phil fan! Never missed any of his shows. Read his books! I think he is the best. After I watch his shows he always gives me an encouragement in my every day life! You go, Dr.Phil!

 

I was born with osteogenesis imperfecta (brittle bone desease) and was wondering if anyone else on this message board has the same condition. If you do, just post a note and tell me about yourself and how you cope with it, whats your biggest challange etc.

 

Thank you,

 

 

 
October 20, 2007, 8:42 pm CDT

FROM MY HEART TO YOUR HEART

Quote From: marsgramna

It doesn't look like too many people look at this message board, but I am going to comment anyway. I hate the phrase "physically challenged"!!! The media thinks this is politically correct. It is not. I am a person who has a disability, not a handicap or a challenge. Any time other words are used to describe people with disabilities, it undermines our visibility and our right to participate in society just like everyone else. Society has sugar coated and watered down words that describe something it doesn't want to look at or acknowledge. People with disabilities have been shoved aside, hidden away, discredited, ignored and discriminated against for centuries. Probably from the beginning of time. Just because I use a wheelchair and have to do things a little differently doesn't mean I am not able to do anything. It doesn't mean I don't have feelings or that I don't spend money in the market place. Society has looked at people with disabilities as an inconvenience to be tolerated. Even with the Americans with Disabilities Act, I have to find out ahead of time if a building is wheelchair accessible before going there. And even when they say they are accessible, I may be able to get in the door because of hastily constructed ramp, but I am unable to go any futher. Accessible parking is a joke anymore. Everyone and their brother as a permit to park in those places even if they are perfectly able to walk. This message is more of a complaint than a support for anyone, and I appologize for that. I have had multiplesclerosis for 34 years and have learned to deal with it one day at a time. However, there are days when I am so frustrated because of the cost of medications that I need to take and can't afford to buy. The government doesn't make it any easier. And try to meet new people and make new friends sitting a wheelchair. Don't even ask if I have had a date in the last 10 years! I am very frustrated tonight and feeling very alone and depressed. My disability makes it evern more difficult to get a decent job that I spent 10 years in college to be able to earn enough money to pay my medical expenses. Sorry I am not very cheerful.

HI THERE

 

IM 39 AND MY DAD HAS BEEN SICK SINCE I WA S5.  I DO MEAN NEAR DEATH...AND STILL IS  -   A KAISER DOCTOR WITH A DRUG PROBLEM BUTCHERED MY DAD OVER A KIDNEY STONE.  THEY TOOK THE DOCTOR TO COURT AND THE DOCTOR COMMITTED SUICIDE THE NITE BEORE THE COURT DATE.  REORDS SHOWED KAISER KNEW.  ANYWAYS.......MY DAD WAS 26 THAN.  MY DAD COULDNT WORK ANYMORE, COULDNT HAVE MORE KIDS, KAISER HARDLY PAID A DROP IN THE BUCKET, MY DAD HAS BEEN IN AND OUT OF ICU SNCE I WAS 5 AS IVE ALREADY STATED....  IVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE AT EVERY HOSPITAL UNDER THE SUN THROUGH-OUT MY LIFE. 

 

TO LOOK AT HIM, YOU WOULD NEVER USUALLY KNOW HE IS SICK THOU IF YOU SAW HIM ON THE STREET.  HE TAKES OFF IS OXYGEN WHEN HE IS TAKING A QUICK TRIP TO THE STORE, SO WHEN HE MAY PARK IN HANDICAP PARKING, HE HAS A COLOSTOMY BAD, HEART FAILURE AND ALWAYS CLOSE TO HIS NEXT TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL.  AS I SAY THO, IF YOU SAW HIM GET OUT OF THE CAR AND WALK IN THE STORE, YOU MAY THINK HE IS NOT HANDICAP, BUT HEI S AND CAN NOT WALK VERY FAR.  A COUPLE OF FEET AND HE IS ABOUT TO PASS OUT. 

 

IT EQUALLY IRKS ME TO NO END, WHEN JACK ASSES "BORROW" SOMEONES HC PARKING TAG AND DONT NEED IT AND DONT CARE WHO IT IS THAT REALLY INDEED HAS TO HAVE IT!!!!  BUT NOW MANY STATES ARE REQUIRING IT ON THE LICENSE PLATE WHICH I THINK IS WONDERFUL.  BY THE WAY, I AGREE WITH ALL YOU SAID ON YOUR MESSAGE.  I DID READ THE WHOLE THING. YOURS WAS THE ONLY ONE ACTUALLY I HAD TIME FOR RIGHT NOW.

 

PLEASE BE ASSURED THRE ARE THOSE OF US WHO DOOOOO APPRECIATE THE EXTREME DIFFICULTIES THAT ARISE FROM IGNORANCE.  PEOPLE ARE OFTEN TOO WORRIED ABOUT BEING POLITICALLY CORRECT THAT THEY JUST ARE SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING HALF THE TIME. 

 

 IVE FOUND MANY PEOPLE DONT LIKE TO VISIT SICK PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL, OR ACKNOWLEDGE IT BECAUSE "  they are uncomfortabe"......GIVE ME A BREAK !  HOW DO YOU THINK THE SICK PERSON FEELS?  OR ME, IVE KEPT MY DAD ALIVE 1000'S OF TIMES IN THE HOSPITAL.  IM HIS PERSONAL GUADIAN ANGEL NURSE AND ITS NOT EASY, BUT....................IF I WAS IN THE POSITION I WOULD WANT UNDERSTANDING AND FOR THOSE AROUND ME TO BE WELL INFORMED WITH WHAT THEY NEED TO KNOW. 

 

SORRY FOR ALL THE TYPOS BUTIM POOPED!   MY DAD WAS IN THE HOSPITAL, AND ALSO MY HUSBAND AMOST DIED A LITTLE BIT BACK WITH A HEAD INJURY (SUBDERMAL HEMOTOMA) AND LOST 2 PINTS OF BLOOD FROM HIS HEAD. BOTH ARE OUT OF THE HOSPITAL THIS WEEK.  BUT IM CATCHING UP ON BILLS AND ALL MY WORK, BUT INSTEAD RIGHT NOW IM EMAILING YOU BECAUSE I DO CARE.

 

IVE FOUND THE WAY YOU VIEW SOMETHING DEFIINITELY AFFECTS THE WAY YOU FEEL.  SO, NEXT TIME SOMEONE PARKS IN HANDICAPPED PARKING AND WALKS IN THE STORE, REMEMBER ABOUT MY DAD WHO IS DEATHLY  ILL, BUT YOU'D NEVER KNOW LOOKING AT HIM. SOMETIMES PEOPLE THROW MY DAD HARD LOOKS, IF THEY ONLY KNEW HOW SICK HE IS.  I JUST APPRECIATE THE PEOPLE WHO DO CARE , THEY ARE OUT THERE AND IM ONE OF THEM.  NOT PASSING JUDGEMENT ON OTHERS DEFINITELY WILL ...benefit you !!!!"..... AS YOU WILL HAVE LESS HEART PALITATIONS AND HEADACHES AND MUSCLE TENSION i FOUND FOR ME TO BE THE CASE AT LEAST.

 

BY THE WAY, MY DAD HAS SURVIVED YEARS OF PAIN AND SURGEORY.  HE HAS A STRONG WILL TO LIVE AND HE IS THE FIRST PERSON MY FRIENDS AND COWORKERS WANT TO CALL WHENEVER THERE IS A  HEALTH PROBLEM, OR LIFE PROBLEM FOR THAT MATTER BECAUSE HE HAS SURVIED SO MUCH PAIN AND YEARS OF TIME IN HOSPITALS.  HE CANTEAT HARDLY ANYTHING WITHOUT GETTING A BOWEL OBSTRUCTION AND HAVING TO BE RUSHED TO THE HOSPITALTO GET AN "NG" TUBE LIKE A GARDEN HOSE STUFFED DOWN HIS NOSE, THROAT AND STOMACHE ANDHAVE HIS STOMACH PUMPED OUT.  HE ALSO CAN NOT DO ANY BATHROOM BUSINESS LIKE MOST PEOPLE BECAUSE HE HAD AN INTESTINE REMOVED AND THERE IS SO MUCH SCAR TISSUE FROM SO MANY SURGEORIES HE CANT DIGEST FOOD LIKE MOST PEOPLE. HE HAS HAD TO SLEEP ON A HOSPITAL BED AT HIS HOUSE SINCE HE WAS 30 DUE TO THE MISSING ASOPHEGOUS THAT THE DOCTOR ALSO BUTCHERED.  IT ALL STARTED WITH A KIDNEY STONE AND A BAD DOCOR AT KAISER!

 

NOT TO SOUND ARROGANT, but ive been a DAMN good daughter if i do say somyself.  HANG IN THERE AND I WISH YOU THE BEST IN THE FUTURE inspite OF YOUR 'HANDICAP'

 

AT LEAST YOU ARE STILL HERE AS MY DAD IS.  MY 4 GRANDPAENTS ALL DIED WHIEN I WAS VERY YOUNG OF CANCER AND MY UNCLE DIED OF CANCER AT 12 AND MY HUSBANDS PARENTS DIED IN 2000 RIGHT BEFORE OUR WEDDING OF LOU GHERIGS AND EMPYSEMA.  THEY MISSED OUR WEDDING, BUT OF COURSE WE MISSED THEM MOST.  MY HUSBAND IS  35 AND IM 39.  WEVE SEEN ALOT OF SICKNESS AND DEATH AND SOMETIMES IT IS HARD.  BUT IT HELPS YOU APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAVE while  YOU HAVE IT!

 

WARMEST WISHES,

 

SANDRA (SAM)

 
October 24, 2007, 10:12 pm CDT

HI...did you get y message? i read your mail

Quote From: marsgramna

It doesn't look like too many people look at this message board, but I am going to comment anyway. I hate the phrase 'physically challenged'!!! The media thinks this is politically correct. It is not. I am a person who has a disability, not a handicap or a challenge. Any time other words are used to describe people with disabilities, it undermines our visibility and our right to participate in society just like everyone else. Society has sugar coated and watered down words that describe something it doesn't want to look at or acknowledge. People with disabilities have been shoved aside, hidden away, discredited, ignored and discriminated against for centuries. Probably from the beginning of time. Just because I use a wheelchair and have to do things a little differently doesn't mean I am not able to do anything. It doesn't mean I don't have feelings or that I don't spend money in the market place. Society has looked at people with disabilities as an inconvenience to be tolerated. Even with the Americans with Disabilities Act, I have to find out ahead of time if a building is wheelchair accessible before going there. And even when they say they are accessible, I may be able to get in the door because of hastily constructed ramp, but I am unable to go any futher. Accessible parking is a joke anymore. Everyone and their brother as a permit to park in those places even if they are perfectly able to walk. This message is more of a complaint than a support for anyone, and I appologize for that. I have had multiplesclerosis for 34 years and have learned to deal with it one day at a time. However, there are days when I am so frustrated because of the cost of medications that I need to take and can't afford to buy. The government doesn't make it any easier. And try to meet new people and make new friends sitting a wheelchair. Don't even ask if I have had a date in the last 10 years! I am very frustrated tonight and feeling very alone and depressed. My disability makes it evern more difficult to get a decent job that I spent 10 years in college to be able to earn enough money to pay my medical expenses. Sorry I am not very cheerful.

hi there, im the 39 yearold with the sick father since i as 5.  i wrote you back a long detailed message from MY HEART TO YOURS and i was hoping you saw it and got a chance to read it.

 

Thanx,

 

Sandra

 
November 4, 2007, 12:44 pm CST

stroke

does anyone out there have any information on new treatments?  I tried a stroke support group. Everyone seem to be there for a pity party.  I was there to make friends and learn.  After 3 meetings at driving 30mi one way and the hardship of even getting there, I realized I was only wasting my time, money and getting depressed. I stopped going.  I would love to find a support group that not only could I vent, I could also share information and make friends.  Most people either treat you with pity or like your contagious.  I'm  54,single and  living with my Mother.  Before my stroke I lived in a large City for 30 years.  I'm from here but haven't lived here for 30 years and have 0 friends.  After 7 years of this, I'm getting lonely for a friend my own age.  Someone that doesn't pity me or treat me like I'm contagious.  One of my friends that live here that I had before my stroke made the comment that she couldn't be around me now,it hurt her to see me like this now.  Alice. Swansboro, NC.       
 
November 4, 2007, 1:22 pm CST

Physically Challenged Adults Support

Quote From: gimpynan

I have been an epileptic since I was a Toddler.  Since then, I have had been suggested to get a full lobotomy when I was 18.  "NOT"!

 

I had a right occipital lobectomy in 1989. I was 28 yrs old. That helped for 1 1/2 yrs. Then my seizures started back up.  I had received a vagal nerve stimulator just 5 yrs ago. I received my first seizure response dog in 2004.

 

I went to see a "Specialist" about a new drug study. While getting tested for approval, I was told my seizures were non epileptic type seizures. And then in one full breath said" You do not have epileptic type seizures, never had, never will & don't even consider it!"

 

This dr. told me I use my SZ dogas a crutch and i should return him to the school! "NOT"

 

He then told my neurolgist to start taking me off my meds. That was in June of 2005.  In Dec of that year, I had a 3 - 4 hour true epileptic seizure.  My wife, Millie, was told I probably won't make it through the night.  They, The ER physicans were able to stop them by either placing me on a ventilator 3x's or placing me in a coma, 3x's too.

 

Both Millie and myself are very confused about all this.  My Sz resp. dog, does detect the pseudo types.  But knows something is wrong.

 

Our hole life was turned upside by this one dr.  My whole left side of my body is affected more and more after every event.  Alot of damage to my left side is done.  Phys Therapy and occupational does help for that time. but results get set back after every seizure occurance.

 

My neurolgist placed me back on my AED's. But the damage is already done. And I could not find one single attorney to take my case. because it's seizure oriented and not a slam dunk win.

 

Millie & I need some assistance with answers and support.

 

Thank you for listening.

 

I had tried searching for an attorney

Sorry I can't give you any answers, only support.  I know exactly how you feel.  almost the same thing  happened to me, just a different illness. My prayers are with you.Alice
 
November 6, 2007, 10:17 pm CST

Osteoarthritic and need help

Hi all I'm new to the boards. My name is Tim and I am only 20 years old and have osteoarthritis in both knees. I've been battling it for about 3 and 1/2 years now. My surgeons won't do a full knee replacement until I am at least 30. I have had 1 micro fracture surgery and 2 arthroscopics on my left knee. And I get Synvex injections every 6 months. It helped a little and now my right knee is starting to get bad. When this all first started happening i weighed about 280 lbs. I know that sounds like a lot but i was very healthy. I am 6'3" and was a very strong football player at my high school. I was very athletic I played baseball basketball track and football. As you can tell this road has been a very difficult one for me because I had to quit the things I loved the most. I also lost my father to cancer just a few months after i found out about my ailment since then i lost a cousin to a murder and my grandfather to a stroke. I now weigh about 320 lbs and i get sick a lot. Along with the knee problems i have had to battle depression and weight gain. I am employed but I am on my feet for 8 hours a day. It didn't bother me for about the first 3 months but now it is starting to get difficult to tolerate the pain. So i guess my question is how do you all out there manage your weight, the depression from not being able to do some everday activities, and would i qualify for disability? Thank you all in advance for your help and support.
 
December 14, 2007, 4:55 pm CST

disabled mom needs help

 I am so upset, I need some real help. I feel like the government is holding me and my son hostage by making us live in sub standard housing. I have complained to everyone who will listen and  have nowhere else to turn but to make a publc cry. We have major problems with our government funded ( by taxpayers)  rental house. We have fungus type mushrooms growing up through the bathroom floor, our floors are rotting and no one will listen. I have been to the health dept, the building officials, the enviromental office , and too many others to mention.No one should have fungus type mushrooms growing up through their floor. Our landlord says there is nothing wrong with the house and will not relenquish the lease. Our local government employee won't either. even after he deemed it a health hazard. What can you do? when no one will listen? I am severly disabled, and I usually do not divulge that but feel I am being taken advantage of, manipulated and bullied because I am disabled and have no voice. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
January 9, 2008, 8:12 am CST

Physically Challenged Adults Support

Quote From: alicedwards

does anyone out there have any information on new treatments?  I tried a stroke support group. Everyone seem to be there for a pity party.  I was there to make friends and learn.  After 3 meetings at driving 30mi one way and the hardship of even getting there, I realized I was only wasting my time, money and getting depressed. I stopped going.  I would love to find a support group that not only could I vent, I could also share information and make friends.  Most people either treat you with pity or like your contagious.  I'm  54,single and  living with my Mother.  Before my stroke I lived in a large City for 30 years.  I'm from here but haven't lived here for 30 years and have 0 friends.  After 7 years of this, I'm getting lonely for a friend my own age.  Someone that doesn't pity me or treat me like I'm contagious.  One of my friends that live here that I had before my stroke made the comment that she couldn't be around me now,it hurt her to see me like this now.  Alice. Swansboro, NC.       

I CAN HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I AM ALSO DISABLED AND IT IS LIKE ...PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BE BY YOUR SIDE WHEN YOU ARE HURTING OR DEPRESSED... IT JUST TAKES TOO MUCH EFFORT FOR THEM TO JUST BE THERE AND NOT BE ABLE TO HELP.  SO, UNFORTUNATELY SOME PEOPLE JUST BAIL OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE OF THIS.

I ALSO LONG FOR SOMEONE TO TALK WITH AFTER LOSING BEST FRIEND OF 40 YEARS DUE TO HUSBANDS INFIDELITY WITH HER.  AND NOW LOSING MY HUSBAND TO HIS NEXT VICTIM.

 
January 13, 2008, 8:58 am CST

I hope you are well

Quote From: kymsfamily

 

 I agree with you  100% , i also have MS .   i AM  NOT  WHEELCHAIR BOUND YET. But  sometimes at the stores on my bad days i use one of the stores chairs. i can't stand the way people look at me, like"why is she using that " or " she looks OK to me " .  Kids i can take the looks but old people are the worst. Sorry i was writing to say Thank you for specking up for us all, God bless you and yours if you wont  to chat some time drop me A line.                  Thank U

                                                                                                                         Kim

Hello Kim

 

Life does throw us some curve balls.  Somethimes they are not fair and having MS, you know full well that with balance and gait issues that we deal with daily, we can't catch them all. lol

 

I have decided awhile back that I am not going to get upset over other people's perceptions and assumptions. They are not inflicted with this illness.   It would be a rude awakening to them, if one day that they wake up with an illness that they can't explain why they can not do the things that they used to. 

 

Its true that we do not have perfect bodies or situations.  So I am at a loss as to why people become so critical of others who are disabled.  We are looked down on because we can not longer do the same things we used to do. Nobody is perfect and nobody has a right to stand in judgement of anyone.

 

I am occasionally reminded  by images on the news. CNN and MSNBC that there are people who have lost a limb due to war or born with no limbs or some other malady. 

 

I wonder if they are looked down so harshly due to their circumstances.  For what ever reason there is, we were dealt a faulty deck of cards with a evil joker card.

 

When I am confronted with a arrogant person who has no hidden skeletons in their closets . I ask them this question    " I wonder how you would deal with a illness that there is no cure for yet? In seeing that your so shallow and materialistic and judgemental  you probably will have a hard time coping.?

 

I just stay positive as I can.  I do have my good days and my bad days with this new card that I was dealt

 

Sincerely Ellen

 
January 13, 2008, 2:01 pm CST

I am a friend

Quote From: goganltz

I CAN HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I AM ALSO DISABLED AND IT IS LIKE ...PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BE BY YOUR SIDE WHEN YOU ARE HURTING OR DEPRESSED... IT JUST TAKES TOO MUCH EFFORT FOR THEM TO JUST BE THERE AND NOT BE ABLE TO HELP.  SO, UNFORTUNATELY SOME PEOPLE JUST BAIL OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE OF THIS.

I ALSO LONG FOR SOMEONE TO TALK WITH AFTER LOSING BEST FRIEND OF 40 YEARS DUE TO HUSBANDS INFIDELITY WITH HER.  AND NOW LOSING MY HUSBAND TO HIS NEXT VICTIM.

Hello Alice

 

I hope you are well.  No parent wants to see their child hurt or struggle as much as you have.  I, have struggled with MS.  Its not easy.  Nobody knows what your enduring accept you and you feel alone.  This is how I felt when I first got diagnosed with MS.  At times when things don't go my way I often feel like I have been hit. 

 

I have dealt with someones infidelity too. We weren't married. For 12 years, it sure felt like we were.  As for your husbands next victim. This is her problem now.  What he did to you, he will surely do the same to her. Its like a sick pattern that a person does to another.  There are no real winners when someone cheats. The one that cheats is cheating themselves and are the real losers. Just don't beat yourself over this.

 

I wish you well in your recovery  abd take care of yourself above all you deserve that to yourself. You are your  own best friend and faithful one at that.  Think of yourself always. You are a winner

 

Sincerely Ellen

 
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