Quote From: confused75I previously had a private arrangement with my ex when we were getting along okay, that we would both agree to a certain amount he pays, for child support every fortnight. Now at this time we had arranged $450 fortnight despite the fact that if we went through child support, he would have to pay $600 fortnight. As my ex earned alot, he was suppose to pay $600 fortnight. The reason I agreed to $450 is because I worked full time and he worked shift work, so certain weekdays he would have the 2 girls, 3x week and my mum had them 2x week. My mum had to travel from another town which takes 40mins. I did not feel comfortable with non family members looking after my girls, so my mum would drive down and she was also happy to do this.
Then things started to get difficult with my ex and I. He would only want look after girls at his convenience and his attention level with girls decreased. He later admitted seeing someone and then it was clear why his attention to our girls had decreased. He started deliberately distancing himself from girls and I, and I had enough!!! I thought it was time to take some action and think about what was best for the girls and I. I had always wanted to move back to the same town as my parents and family, which was 40mins away, but did not want to take my girls away from their dad.
After some deep conversations with close friends and family, it was clear that I had to be surrounded with people who could offer me and girls support. I quit my job and moved to town where parents leave. I also went to child support and got them to collect the money for me, as I no longer wanted a private arrangement. I did not realise that by being on a private arrangement I was not only getting lesser payments from girls dad, but because their social security system thought I was getting $600 fortnight, they paid me less for family benefits a fortnight.
I still feel deeply guilty for getting out of the private arrangement and did at one stage go back to it. My ex blames me for him being broke all the time and that he cannot pay for his mortgage. He evens tells my girls, when he seems them, that he can't buy anything because I have taken all of his money.
How can I stop all this guilt and how do I explain to my girls who are 5 and 9yrs old, that I am not taking all his money, when I do feel I am. I know alot of people feel the child support money he pays me is ridiculous and I am starting to think again that maybe I should go back to a private agreement because I don't want to be called a money hungry person. Please help see what is the best method for me and the girls!!!!
I am at a point where I am unsure if I should continue my studies with Bachelor of Nursing degree. I hav worked in previous office admin positions and did not really enjoy the work but last worked as an Nurse Assistant and really enjoyed the job and decided to further my skills by studying.
Although I am enjoying my course I am torn between continuing with the course as I have a 10yr old daughter and 6yr old daughter and I am a single mum. We are living with my mum at the moment as it is financially better for us at the moment. I was relying on her to help me with my girls while studying, but now my mum's health is deteriorating and the reality is that I may not rely on her much now, for support.
I also feel now, it is not fair to put this pressure on her, due to her health problems and her also getting older as she turns 64yrs old this year.
Basically I feel that this is probably not the right profession for me at ths time, especialy when nursing involves shift work.. On the other hand am I being selfish if I feel that by pursuing my studies, at the end of the road we would be better off as I would earn more money and provide the girls more financial stability....Maybe I should delay studies until girls are older and find a job that is available during school hours?????
Could you please offer some advice?????
