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Topic : Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Number of Replies: 1025
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 04:03:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Has the fire gone out in your love life? Share your ways to reignite romance in your relationship.

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March 25, 2009, 3:35 am CDT

How do I go back to being his wife and not his caregiver and roomate?

My husband and I have been married for over four years and have gone from having a fun, incredibly compatible, loving relationship to one where I am more of a caregiver and roommate. We have endured MANY things in such a short time - surgeries, family illnesses, our own medical issues, career changes, and just whatever life obstacles have been put before us. My husband had an incredibly weird upbringing and consequently is emotionally very needy. His older brother was born with considerable health issues and his parents, mainly his Mom, focused ALL attention on his brother. This left my husband "out in the cold" so to speak - being sent off to neighbors and his grandma's for long periods of time while his parents dealt with his brother's challenges. Over the past four plus years, I think I've tried to compensate for his lack of care by taking it upon myself to care for him in a way that his parents never did. This has left us in a weird spot.

 

We both love each other and both want to be husband and wife rather than what we've become. Sex hasn't happened in months and lost passion long before that. Intimacy, in any way shape or form, has become almost non-existant. Any suggestions would be more than welcomed!

 
March 28, 2009, 2:46 pm CDT

My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore

I'm writing because I need some advice.   My husband and I have been having problems for some time.  Mainly due to a difference in parenting styles.  He was determined to make sure that our daughter would want to live with him if we ever split up, so he was the big pushover determined to always get one up on me and I ended up being the disciplinarian / bad guy.   I simply got tired of zero support from him on the parenting front and in other areas.   It began to dawn on me that he just doesn't like me and I moved out this week.  I sent him an email (he typically responds better that way) and he told me  that he lost all feelings for me after butting heads over her for so long. 

 

So....here I am still crazy in love with him, not wanting to get a divorce but not knowing where to go from here.  Yes, we've been in counseling for @5 years.   None of this falling out of love with me EVER came up so you can imagine my shock.  HELP.

 
March 30, 2009, 12:49 pm CDT

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: jgj2008

Me and my husband been married for 1 month and on our wedding night he play madden with his cousin. He is in the military i'm a house wife. He thinks i'm cheating on him, which i'm not. I have a best friend who is a male. Any man that speak i'm having sex with. I don't have any female friends. I really dont get along with them. He knew we were friends before we got married. He has female friend i 'm not worried about them. I love him. He goes through my phone. He say who is this who is that. But I got to the point where i say dont ask me any more. He thinks he has motive because i say that. I 'am sick and tired of being accoused. I don't want to give up. He doesn't want to have sex anymore? I try everything. He say he dont feel like it. I think he is tring to see how long i gonna wait to see when i'm gonna cheat. We live in virginia. my best friend is stationed in california. What!!! I 'am a sex ahalic. I'm on the mountian about to jump. What should i do.

Your Husband sounds like he needs to grow up (playing madden on your wedding night?!) and realize that you two are married now.  His insecurities and jealousy is getting in the way of contentment in your home.

I think he will always be insecure.  The only thing you can do is HIDE NOTHING and be very transparent to him...let him check your phone, tell him who and where your going before you go, so he has no reason to ask.  I've dealt with my share of jealous insecure men, they are not fun to be around.  The only thing you can do for yourself is be true to you and your relationship with him.  If he continues....it's a deeper problem that you can't fix that should be addressed by professionals to find out why he would think that where there is no immediate threat.  Good luck Girl!

 
April 6, 2009, 3:21 am CDT

When was the last time...

Quote From: kog1113

My husband and I have been married for over four years and have gone from having a fun, incredibly compatible, loving relationship to one where I am more of a caregiver and roommate. We have endured MANY things in such a short time - surgeries, family illnesses, our own medical issues, career changes, and just whatever life obstacles have been put before us. My husband had an incredibly weird upbringing and consequently is emotionally very needy. His older brother was born with considerable health issues and his parents, mainly his Mom, focused ALL attention on his brother. This left my husband "out in the cold" so to speak - being sent off to neighbors and his grandma's for long periods of time while his parents dealt with his brother's challenges. Over the past four plus years, I think I've tried to compensate for his lack of care by taking it upon myself to care for him in a way that his parents never did. This has left us in a weird spot.

 

We both love each other and both want to be husband and wife rather than what we've become. Sex hasn't happened in months and lost passion long before that. Intimacy, in any way shape or form, has become almost non-existant. Any suggestions would be more than welcomed!

the two of you went on a carribean vacation? There is something about blue waters, strong rum drinks, and warm breeze, to make anyone want to be romantic.  If all else has failed, save your pennies and go on a short carribean vacation. If that doesn't work then you know it is doomed.  Good luck and get packing. :)  And for the record, no, I do not work in the travel agency business.  KIMI

 
April 27, 2009, 5:58 am CDT

Sad, worried, distraught

My wife and I have different personalities.  She is a highly driven career woman and I am more laid back in my approach to life.  I've made mistakes and I've been downright lazy, giving in to depression..letting it sap my motivation.    She also feels I'm not "there for her" the way I should be.  I really want to be and it saddens me that she feels this way.  I feel like that capacity is within me, I just don't know how to let it out I guess.

 

  We've argued about this throughout our relationship, but now it has really come to a head.  She says she's not happy anymore and we sleep in seperate bedrooms.

 

We're in counciling...I just hope it helps us.  I love my wife and I don't want to lose her.

 

Has anyone been in a similar situation and pulled things back together?  Can you offer some advice?

 
May 15, 2009, 9:30 am CDT

Dr. Phil I need help with my marriage

Hello;

 

I'm 31 years old and have been married for 8 years going on 9. My marriage is on the brink of disaster and I don't want it to end. I have lied to my wife numerous times and hurt her so bad that she doesn't really know me anymore. I can't say anything to her without hoping that she will believe me in the end. How can I save my marriage and reignite the flame we once had 8 years ago?

 
May 21, 2009, 1:50 pm CDT

help please

I really need help with getting my family back.
familyovereverything.blogspot.com has the whole story. Any
inspirational comments or even negative is welcome I'm willing to try
anything to get her back!
 
May 22, 2009, 3:06 am CDT

Without reading the blog

Quote From: marcusatx

I really need help with getting my family back.
familyovereverything.blogspot.com has the whole story. Any
inspirational comments or even negative is welcome I'm willing to try
anything to get her back!

First thing that comes to mind is:  YOu can't undo something that was already done.  You can redo something that was not done correctly.  If we break something, we try to fix it so that it resembles what it was like before it was broke. Sometimes it can recover 100%sometimes we have to settle for the broken but salvagable thing. Sometimes the darn thing just can't be fixed. Maybe not the right or strong enough glue, parts, inexperience. Maybe it wasn't that good to begin with which is why it broke? Or maybe it was very fragile and we didn't realize how much so.

 

The same with love and relationships. We are not going to do it right every time, or if we break trust, loyality, make bad choices, the relationship gets damaged, much like the crystal in the car trunk.....Next time we know what not to do, and what to do better, but it does not always mean we will get to do it with the same person/crystal lamp that we had once before.

 

If the relationship is over and your were left behind, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the track. Its the only way. Kim

 
May 23, 2009, 4:06 am CDT

One more thing, Marcus.

Don't forget to allow yourself time to grieve the loss/change. It is very important to our self worth that we set personal boundaries, treat ourselves good, and to be aware when we are not. Your self esteem is hurting now, meaning it is how you feel in this given moment (looks, talent, our work, etc)........self worth is how we feel about ourselves in general. Our worth to society, others, ourselves, that can never be taken away. Tap more into your self worth and see that judgements can only last so long, but the beauty that resides within you can never be removed. YOu were born worthy!

 

 

 
May 31, 2009, 2:09 am CDT

sex addict

 

I think i'm a sex addict i always think about sex, and i feel horny all the time and i musturbate everyday. i do have a boyfriend he does not like sex, he wants it once a week but i want to have it everyday, ican;t get enough of it......

 

does this mean am addicted? plz help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 

 
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