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Topic : Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

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Created on : Sunday, September 17, 2006, 04:03:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Has the fire gone out in your love life? Share your ways to reignite romance in your relationship.

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purplepenny
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December 11, 2006, 11:21 am PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: cepelia

hi

i have been married for 4,5 years, i am unhappy with my sex life i don't even feel desirable,

it started 8 months after we got married  when i told him that i wont more foreplay- he felt so uncomfortable that he stoped initiating sex 

there were times that we haven't have sex for 3 months- we have a 1,6 year old son- got pregnant on this once every coupple months night

i think about sleeping with other man a lot, i feel bad but i can't help it- i just want somebody to want me

my husband knows that we have troubble but he things that if we have sex even once a month it is getting better between us- i don't see much diference

we are both in late 20 and i love him besides that he is my dream man

we talked about it so many times that i am sick of it

Wow, sounds like you and I have a lot in common.  Is your husband over weight or out of shape? This effects sex drive a lot.  Do you initiate sex? Maybe you should be the one to do the foreplay at first, and then he will come around to it. I think some men get overwhelmed because they are expected to be the hunter in bed...the wild one who just takes what he wants and leave the helpless woman in breathless ecstasy. Maybe he's just a bit shy and he took your asking for more foreplay the wrong way? Men are just as capable of women of being emotionally scared of sex.

Find out what he feels about all this, make him feel safe to open up to you.
 
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janiesmith
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December 11, 2006, 12:46 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: purplepenny

Wow, sounds like you and I have a lot in common.  Is your husband over weight or out of shape? This effects sex drive a lot.  Do you initiate sex? Maybe you should be the one to do the foreplay at first, and then he will come around to it. I think some men get overwhelmed because they are expected to be the hunter in bed...the wild one who just takes what he wants and leave the helpless woman in breathless ecstasy. Maybe he's just a bit shy and he took your asking for more foreplay the wrong way? Men are just as capable of women of being emotionally scared of sex.

Find out what he feels about all this, make him feel safe to open up to you.

I think some men get overwhelmed because they are expected to be the hunter in bed...the wild one who just takes what he wants and leave the helpless woman in breathless ecstasy.

 

Oh Penny - It all of a sudden got a little warm in here........

 

     Sorry -  I couldn't resist......I know you were trying to be serious.
 
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purplepenny
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December 11, 2006, 1:51 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: janiesmith

I think some men get overwhelmed because they are expected to be the hunter in bed...the wild one who just takes what he wants and leave the helpless woman in breathless ecstasy.

 

Oh Penny - It all of a sudden got a little warm in here........

 

     Sorry -  I couldn't resist......I know you were trying to be serious.

LMFAO...don't get me wrong...I like a little of that too!
 
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jettav
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December 11, 2006, 6:14 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: cepelia

hi

i have been married for 4,5 years, i am unhappy with my sex life i don't even feel desirable,

it started 8 months after we got married  when i told him that i wont more foreplay- he felt so uncomfortable that he stoped initiating sex 

there were times that we haven't have sex for 3 months- we have a 1,6 year old son- got pregnant on this once every coupple months night

i think about sleeping with other man a lot, i feel bad but i can't help it- i just want somebody to want me

my husband knows that we have troubble but he things that if we have sex even once a month it is getting better between us- i don't see much diference

we are both in late 20 and i love him besides that he is my dream man

we talked about it so many times that i am sick of it

Well, chances are sleeping with some one else isn't gonna help matters any, maybe for a night or two then what? You say this is your dream man, if thatis the case, then you would ruin every chance that you had to make things work between you if you actually did sleep with some one else, I believet hat once something is in our minds, it is hard to take it a way. I think you need to do do something to get rid of the thoughts of sleeping with some one else cause you are treading dangerous ground.

Maybe instead of grumpin about it, you can do soemthing to help spice up your relationship, use your imagination, you know what he likes, right? If so then don't hesitate, don't expect anything in return, just enjoy him, have fun and give him reasons to want to be with you, whatever the case, cheating will not help, it will only make things worse.........
 
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kellybsierra
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December 11, 2006, 9:02 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

I LOVE being single because when you start to date you have awesome sex and it's exciting and new...so why would anyone want to commit to one person only to have the same boring sex day in and out. You gotta admit it must get really old after a while. Im trying to think positive about being single cause it diff has its negatives. Kay Im due for a bubby bath bye bye :)
 
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purplepenny
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December 11, 2006, 9:14 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: kellybsierra

I LOVE being single because when you start to date you have awesome sex and it's exciting and new...so why would anyone want to commit to one person only to have the same boring sex day in and out. You gotta admit it must get really old after a while. Im trying to think positive about being single cause it diff has its negatives. Kay Im due for a bubby bath bye bye :)
Well, if that works for you that's great!

I prefer monogamous sex with my husband. And that works for me. I wanted to have a baby and I wanted a committed relationship for that baby. And that is what has worked best for us.

You also have to be aware that sometimes this attitude changes, especially when you age and there are less new people to have "awesome sex" with.

Sex for me gets better with the age of a relationship. I am with someone who knows every facet of my mind and body and loves me for it, flaws and all.
 
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janiesmith
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December 11, 2006, 10:11 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: kellybsierra

I LOVE being single because when you start to date you have awesome sex and it's exciting and new...so why would anyone want to commit to one person only to have the same boring sex day in and out. You gotta admit it must get really old after a while. Im trying to think positive about being single cause it diff has its negatives. Kay Im due for a bubby bath bye bye :)
I'm glad you added the "trying to think positive' part cuz for a minute there I thought maybe you thought a relationship was just about having awesome sex.......That would be very shallow.  I'm sure you didn't mean that....did you?
 
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kellybsierra
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December 11, 2006, 11:17 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: purplepenny

Well, if that works for you that's great!

I prefer monogamous sex with my husband. And that works for me. I wanted to have a baby and I wanted a committed relationship for that baby. And that is what has worked best for us.

You also have to be aware that sometimes this attitude changes, especially when you age and there are less new people to have "awesome sex" with.

Sex for me gets better with the age of a relationship. I am with someone who knows every facet of my mind and body and loves me for it, flaws and all.
well good for you, hope she does you well. hehe ;) bet your having the time of your life! I love that star by the way
 
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kellybsierra
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December 11, 2006, 11:27 pm PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: janiesmith

I'm glad you added the "trying to think positive' part cuz for a minute there I thought maybe you thought a relationship was just about having awesome sex.......That would be very shallow.  I'm sure you didn't mean that....did you?

Hi...

I think its very important. All my past relationship involved men who I was very much in love with at the time and it was important to both of us. But when your not in a relationship and you date someone new its Hella FUN ;) Just ...its so new. Thats why its fun to be single I think... It gets too boring with the same guy over and over expecially when....well whatever I'm tired. I think I'm going to end up single and loving it BUt have serious relationships in the future. But more than one serious relationship you know what I mean...dont want to get pregnant again so I got on the pill even though I hate being on it. Anyways everyone have fun on these boards they truly are so helpful.
 
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winterwarmth
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December 12, 2006, 3:37 am PST

Reigniting Romance in Your Relationship

Quote From: purplepenny

Well, if that works for you that's great!

I prefer monogamous sex with my husband. And that works for me. I wanted to have a baby and I wanted a committed relationship for that baby. And that is what has worked best for us.

You also have to be aware that sometimes this attitude changes, especially when you age and there are less new people to have "awesome sex" with.

Sex for me gets better with the age of a relationship. I am with someone who knows every facet of my mind and body and loves me for it, flaws and all.
I agree with purplepenny, for the same reasons.  Getting older for many people does change what sex means to them.

Also the biggest sex organ of all is the brain - I'd rather be with the man who stuck by me for the past 13 years, through good and bad, than some fair-weather friend who could offer me "awesome sex".  The wholeness of our relationship makes it better for us each time.
 
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