I had been seeing a lady for the majority of the year. We connected right at the start. We had a very amazing connection where sometimes we just knew what the other was thinking before it was even said. The relationship was really amazing for a while, and I felt as if she was one of those rare ladies who got what a relationship was about.
I usually find myself in relationships where Im the one putting in, and Im not getting anything in return. Im not talking about in the physical sense, Im talking more on an emotional/thoughtful/appreciative level. Things went really great for a while where my actions were usually reciprocated and there was an awesome balance of giving/receiving of gestures, and romantic evenings.
Then it all just came to a stop. She became very distant. I started seeing her less and less. Over the course of a month I saw her twice, and she thought this was ok. This was going from seeing each other weekly. I had talked to her about it because it was a concern of mine. She just said she had gotten busy, which I was ok with. The next month was even worse. A lot more red flags I was seeing, more less time with me, and more time with others. I once again have a talk with her about it and she said she was working on it, but that she was very afraid. She had never met a guy like me before, and that she was "learning" all these new things.
We had a very romantic trip planned, for a week together in a small distant town in a cabin. I was greatly looking forward to this as a way to recharge and refocus on us. During the week together, I felt more like a friend than a romantic partner. I even told her I wanted to do something romantic with her, and she said she didnt need anything romantic! She also was irritated that her cell phone didnt work, and that she was out of touch with her friends. More red flags to me. So I had to end the relationship. I had thought she was the one, and I had even bought a ring. I never gave it to her. I told her about the ring after the fact.
I have never had to leave someone before when I was so madly in love with them. I have never connected with someone on such a higher level. Everything was very perfect to me until she shut down. I dont know why, other than she said she was scared. I also got to talk to her sister a little after the breakup because they were shocked that I was the one who ended it. I later learned that she has had commmittment issues before from the past. That I was also a very non-tradional guy she had dated. Most of the guys she dated were guys in "uniform".
I just dont get why people are so afraid of love. Yes love hurts when it doesnt work out, and I still feel the pain within. You cant let fear from the past hold you back or you will never fall in love the way you want to. I will never understand why people get so afraid... just let go... have some faith and maybe, just maybe you will fall in love in a way you have never experienced before.
