Message Boards

Topic : Relationship Myths

Number of Replies: 977
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:02:55 pm
Author : dataimport
Think there's something wrong with your marriage because it doesn't go along with one of the common relationship myths that Dr. Phil outlines in "Relationship Rescue"?

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 22, 2005, 3:54 pm CDT

hi everyone

Welcome back everybody! Looking forward to reading your posts.
 
July 22, 2005, 4:21 pm CDT

welcome back

Welcome back everybody! Looking forward to reading your posts.
this sure looks different i am not sure yet how to use this one. any help
 
July 22, 2005, 4:27 pm CDT

angyl1964

i have been away for awhile i am happy to see the new boards. ready to get going again
 
July 22, 2005, 4:45 pm CDT

Relationship Myths

this sure looks different i am not sure yet how to use this one. any help
I'm still figuring it out, too. One thing I can tell you: don't click on the thing that looks like an eraser. It screws up your font and font size. Other than that, I'm just as lost as you. I miss the option to list the messages by title in outline format.
 
July 23, 2005, 10:06 pm CDT

I am completely lost with this one

I thought I replied to a post and was sent right back to log in and lost all that I worked so long on. What were they thinking when they redid the boards??? LOL
 
July 24, 2005, 3:28 am CDT

New to board...wanted to say hi

Just wanted to say hi to everyone. I am new to this message board....look foward to talking to y'all.

 
July 24, 2005, 9:51 am CDT

Husband's Mid-life Crisis

I tried to post on this board and it ended up in the Divorce section somehow...  So here goes - again!  Relationship Myth:  Good marriages last... Five years ago my husband's attitude and behavior changed dramatically after a lengthy business trip requiring several weeks away from me and our children.  No, he did not have an affair (his sex drive decreased gradually over these years), he simply had a taste of freedom and loved it.  He rarely ever travelled on business before this.  We recently separated after he refused to seek counseling either as a couple or on his own.  During our 23 year marriage, we rarely argued and never fought.  He says he no longer loves me and feels he's missing out on something by being tied to me, yet still tries to "share" his travels, social schedule, etc. with me.  I discourage this lately.  He is still a sloppy dresser and looks unkempt so he obviously isn't trying to impress another woman.  He has grown a mustache and goatee thing.  After 10 weeks apart, my life is finally coming together and I doubt I would take him back, but I haven't shut the door on that option just yet.  A part of me still loves him.  There is no other woman involved - he just wants the freedom to do whatever he wants (golf, roller skating, partying, skiing, etc.) whenever he wants.  (He did all these things before but not with my approval.) He no longer has to feel guilty about leaving me at home while he pursues his interests and has to answer to no one now.  He still supports us financially and sees our daughter (13) fairly often.  Our son (he's 19) could care less about his dad.  I have lost a lot of respect for my husband, but over time I am making a new life for myself.  I recently got a part-time job I really like and enjoy the company of some wonderful friends.  My husband has no friends he can talk to, only 3 meddling sisters who encouraged him to leave me if he was unhappy.  His two other siblings absolutely disapprove of his behavior and have told him so.  Is there anyone else who has experienced this with their hubby?  Is there any hope he might come to his senses?  I don't intend to grow old alone, but don't want to give up on a 28 year relationship and then regret it.  Apparently many men do not feel THEY have to honour their wedding vows these days.  I never imagined my husband could be so selfish as to sacrifice everyone else's happiness for his own.  I thought he was a better person than that.  People we know simply cannot believe we have separated because we had such a wonderful marriage.  They also can't believe that he could ever do such a thing to us.  I'd love to hear from other wives who've survived this ordeal. 
 
July 24, 2005, 7:30 pm CDT

Hello BlueonBlue

I think that your family & you will come through this. I know that it is hard letting the man that you love more than anything in the world go. It would have been one of the hardest things in your life to have to do.

I am so pleased that you are slowly putting your life back together, as well as your children's.

I know that starting out on your own would have been hard as well.

You are doing all the right things, especially for your children. Even if they don't show it, having a bit of a normal life, even if it is a strange new life without their father in their home, is going to help them in a BIG way.

As for your husband, all I can say is keep the doors open for him. Carry on being your true self, a woman that is loving & kind. He will slowly see the woman that he did leave behind & want her back.

Don't allow anyone to bad mouth him around the kids or you, as it is not healthy for them, and if you should both get back together, having that kind of stuff will just "add to it".

Try new things, this is a hard time yes, but you can make the most of it, like it is a time of finding yourself again. Maybe start a new hobbie, or meet new friends. This way you will have things to take you mind off the current problems, and inside it helps heal the hurt as well.

You are a beautiful woman that should have the best in life. It is OK to treat yourself.

By doing all these things, by your actions, you are teaching your children how to handle all your feelings in a healthy manner. It also shows them that you are a strong woman.

Take one day as it comes, if you can get out of bed with even a weak smile on your face, then in my book...you have passed that day with flying colours.

 

God Bless,

Michelle,

In New Zealand.

 
July 25, 2005, 9:06 am CDT

Relationship Myths

I tried to post on thisboard and it ended up in the Divorce section somehow... So here goes - again! Relationship Myth: Good marriages last... Five years ago my husband's attitude and behaviorchanged dramatically after a lengthy business trip requiring several weeks away from me and our children. No, he did not have an affair(his sex drive decreased gradually over these years), he simply had a taste of freedom and loved it. He rarely ever travelledon business before this.We recently separated after he refused to seek counseling either as a couple or on his own. During our 23 year marriage, we rarely argued and never fought. He says he no longer loves me and feels he's missing out on something by being tied to me, yet still tries to "share" his travels, social schedule, etc. with me. I discourage this lately. He is still a sloppy dresser and looks unkempt so he obviously isn't trying to impress another woman. He has grown a mustache and goatee thing. After 10 weeks apart, my life is finally coming together and I doubt I would take him back, but I haven't shut the door on that option just yet. A part of me still loves him. There is no other woman involved - he just wantsthe freedom to do whatever he wants (golf, roller skating, partying, skiing, etc.) whenever he wants.(He did all these things before but not with my approval.) He no longer has to feel guilty about leaving me at home while he pursues his interests and has to answer to no one now.He still supports us financially and sees our daughter (13) fairly often. Our son (he's 19) could care less about his dad. I have lost a lot of respect for my husband, butover time I am making a new life for myself. I recently got a part-time job I really like and enjoy the company ofsome wonderful friends. My husband has no friends he can talk to, only3 meddling sisters who encouraged him to leave me if he was unhappy. His two other siblings absolutely disapprove of his behavior and have told him so. Is there anyone else who has experienced this with their hubby? Is there any hope he might come to his senses? I don't intend to grow old alone, but don't want to give up on a 28 year relationship and then regret it. Apparently many men do not feel THEY have to honour their wedding vows these days. I never imagined my husband could be so selfish as to sacrifice everyone else's happiness for his own. I thought he was a better person than that. People we know simply cannot believe we have separated because we had such a wonderful marriage. They also can't believe thathe could ever do such a thing to us. I'd love to hear from other wives who've survived this ordeal.
I wonder what his side of the story is.  Have you ever read the book by Dr. Laura?  The proper care and feeding of husbands.  Maybe there were some things that you overlooked during the 23 years.  Just a thought.
 
July 26, 2005, 5:37 am CDT

fabfivemom

 

    I just read your reply about a book, The proper care and feeding of husbands, my marriage is fine but I am always looking to keep it that way and was curious about the book. Can you tell me alittle about it? Thanks

 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last