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Topic : Sex

Number of Replies: 1104
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:03:20 pm
Author : dataimport
Are you getting enough? Maintaining the sizzle? Or just too tired to even think about it?

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July 4, 2008, 2:24 am CDT

what happend to my wife

hi, first post, first time looking for advice, don't know what to do anymore. I've been married for seven years and they have been good ones, ok, with their up and downs, but still thats how you grow together. So the last couple of months have been really rough, I don't understand my wife, so she says, and she just wants opposite of what I want.  Past two months all she wants to do is spend time with these two guys in our house smoking pot and really not doing anything until hours in the morning, I would be ok with it like I have told just because I know them and they are alright and all, but every night is pushing it, she prefers to be with them than coming to bed with her husband and they are always around, how are we to solve our marital matters if  I don't even get a chance to spend time with my wife, especially after the kids are gone to bed. its not bad enough she gives these guys her time but at the worst time when the kids need her most,our daughter does not get that much attention and she is 12 and looking for guidance from her mother, I get so frustrated and angry and at times the worst comes out and I feel she is making me pay for whatever, never had an affair, i forgave hers, true its brought up in fights and all. all I want is my wife back from these two new best friends.
 
July 31, 2008, 11:42 pm CDT

Swinging

My husband and i been married for 4 years and i say 2 years into the marriage he brings up that he wants to swing, not to mention that he said he been into it since high school. How i do handle this? I am not into swinging and not sure what it  really is, i heard that it is swaping partners, any ways ai dont want anything to do with it and i think i made a mistake of going to parties of that enviroment with him, and i only went cause it is something he enjoys. I regret even going, now we argu when a party comes up and i dont want to go. So i feel like i am trapped in a marriage and we have 2 young kids that are involved. Someone please help me!!!!

 

 
August 6, 2008, 1:46 pm CDT

help with our sex life

My husband and I are having a few issues. I work full time, take care of the house and kids while he work and coaches football for a youth leauge. He gives so much of his energy to these kids which is great but it also leave the girls and I as an after thought.

 I have been so tired lately and all he wants to do is have sex. I could care less if we have sex at this point. It's honestly the last thing on my mind. When he wants to have sex with me it's all about him. HE tells me to orgasm so he can. He doesn't feel like ever 'going down' but wants other things done for him. How do I get him to be a better lover and realize that if he's not going to get much more out of me without something in return.
 
September 10, 2008, 10:47 am CDT

Sex

Quote From: trinagray04

My husband and i been married for 4 years and i say 2 years into the marriage he brings up that he wants to swing, not to mention that he said he been into it since high school. How i do handle this? I am not into swinging and not sure what it  really is, i heard that it is swaping partners, any ways ai dont want anything to do with it and i think i made a mistake of going to parties of that enviroment with him, and i only went cause it is something he enjoys. I regret even going, now we argu when a party comes up and i dont want to go. So i feel like i am trapped in a marriage and we have 2 young kids that are involved. Someone please help me!!!!

 

Just say NO to swinging...I tried it, its not a good thing for a relationship with trouble!  The "responsible" swinging websites will be the first to tell you that if a relationship is in jeopardy, it will kill it!

I tried to be open minded when my boyfriend told me about it, his fantasies and his previous involvement with it.  I really wanted to be open minded, but what I saw within the community has absolutely confirmed that it is NOT a good idea.

This is a community that has some really great people, is supportive of privacy and for the most part, your average next door neighbors.  But underneath, the truth is that there are much more "hot" women than men.  There is a hunter/hunted atmosphere...being fresh meat on the swingers market is a fleeting status.  The odds of finding a couple that you both find appealing is RARE!  leaving the other partner (go back to previous statement....more hot women than men) inevitably "taking one" for the team.  There are weird, hurt feelings from other couples that question why you may be spending so much time with another couple.  There are predatory singles (men and women) who have no problem making a game of coming between you and your spouse.

Its just bad...don't do it...find other ways to add "spice" to your sex life!  Preferably ways that keep your partnership a two-sie not three-sie, four-sie...etc

 
September 12, 2008, 10:47 am CDT

Sex

Quote From: jaimie1974

It sounds like youve been a very supportive, caring husband and father. You are right- everybody has problems in some form or another. However, dont apologize for posting here, seeking advice/opinions, because that is what this space is for. You need and deserve a place where you can vent your thoughts/feelings/frustrations and receive some constructive words of advice.
You cant force a grown woman to get help for her issues, all you can do is try to gently encourage her to help herself. I cant imagine the personal pain that you suffer, the loneliness- because of your wifes situation. Does she seem to acknowledge or understand that you need her companionship? Or, does she go straight into defense mode?
Think about your children. They are blank slates that become written on by the role models in their lives- the main role models being mom and dad. What kind of role model do you want to be for them? Of course, you want them to see that their father is a kind, loving and loyal person, and you want them to exhibit those traits, too; but do you want them to continue to go without things- some of them being basic necessities in life- because mom wont even think about making changes?
Your wife has pain, there is no doubt. The way that she deals with her pain is what the problem is. You said that all she does is worry about her medications- what do you mean by that, exactly? Because if she has them- her Dr. writes her prescriptions, etc., then why does she worry about them? Is it because she wants more or something? Also, Im wondering if she has regular check ups with a pain specialist?
Have you considered therapy? It could be very helpful for you- because you need and deserve that soft place to fall. Take care of yourself, make YOU a priority- it is so important!
I just had back surgey-your wife's story sounds strangely like my own-however I can not take meds since they make me sick. It sounds like she may be an addict. In her defense....chronic pain will make you wish you could die-nothing......NOTHING else seems to matter when you are in so much pain.  Sex is probably the last thing on her mind right now.
 
September 16, 2008, 12:15 pm CDT

Sex

Are you getting enough? Maintaining the sizzle? Or just too tired to even think about it?

 

To tell you the truth, my husband and I have been having a great sex life in my opinion. When it comes to the ammount of it it veries from time to time. When it comes to maintaining the sizzle, from time to time I would like to try new things just to spice things up a bit or to just try something new but I hardly see/ find anything different. Not only that but I don't want to throw him up for a loop. Know what I mean? And to tell you the truth, very seldom am I to tired to even think about it. It used to be that way in the day but that was because of thinking about other things to much or worrying that he may not like it or is he thinking about me, or whatever, mostly self conscience issues. But considering that we have been together for 6yrs now with no major issues for a long while I have taken that into great consideration, and just smile. :-)

 
September 16, 2008, 1:24 pm CDT

circumcision

Hey guys. I have been reading up on circumcision, in preparation of the birth of my child--incase it's a boy. My husband wants him circumcised because he doesn't want him teased. After reading up on it and seeing pics of the procedure, I think he will have to pry the child from my cold dead hands before I let it happen. He's still out of town, so I will wait until he gets back to broach the subject.

It's funny that only about 83% of males world wide are NOT circumcised, the majority of those who are are American. It started in the 1880s when wacko doctors, thinking masturbation caused illness such as blindness, etc. encouraged circumcision to de-sensitize the penis and discourage masturbation. Circumcision as a cure for masturbation!! Come to find out, with the glans exposed and rubbing against clothing, it does de-sensitize and toughen the penis, but that leads to MORE masturbation and harder thrusting during sex. Men with natural penises have more nerve endings, the head is protected and sensitive, so they get more sexual gratification from intercourse...supposed to help the lady keep wet and enjoy more shallow gentle stroke.

I was wondering who out there had partners with or without foreskin, how they felt in bed and if either seemed more prone to porn/masturbation or not. I am really curious. I have only been with four men, all circumcised and none were exceptional, sensitive strokers.
 
September 17, 2008, 11:00 am CDT

circumcision

Quote From: bankheadbaby

Hey guys. I have been reading up on circumcision, in preparation of the birth of my child--incase it's a boy. My husband wants him circumcised because he doesn't want him teased. After reading up on it and seeing pics of the procedure, I think he will have to pry the child from my cold dead hands before I let it happen. He's still out of town, so I will wait until he gets back to broach the subject.

It's funny that only about 83% of males world wide are NOT circumcised, the majority of those who are are American. It started in the 1880s when wacko doctors, thinking masturbation caused illness such as blindness, etc. encouraged circumcision to de-sensitize the penis and discourage masturbation. Circumcision as a cure for masturbation!! Come to find out, with the glans exposed and rubbing against clothing, it does de-sensitize and toughen the penis, but that leads to MORE masturbation and harder thrusting during sex. Men with natural penises have more nerve endings, the head is protected and sensitive, so they get more sexual gratification from intercourse...supposed to help the lady keep wet and enjoy more shallow gentle stroke.

I was wondering who out there had partners with or without foreskin, how they felt in bed and if either seemed more prone to porn/masturbation or not. I am really curious. I have only been with four men, all circumcised and none were exceptional, sensitive strokers.

I have never been with a guy who wasn't circumcised so I can't really answer your question. I did work with a guy who wasn't. When I was pregnant with my son he told me to get him circumcised because he always felt embarrassed that he wasn't and actually got the procedure done when he was adult which he said was extremely painful.  

 

I made them do the procedure on my son before I left the hospital. I had my son on a weekend. Unfortunately my regular doctor wasn't on call but he had told me he would do the procedure at the hospital, the doctor who delivered me didn't want to do it, but I insisted and he eventually caved in. When my son came back from the procedure I could tell he had been crying, but it never seemed to bother him after that.

 

One of my friends had to take her son to the doctors office to have it done a week after he was born, she said it was awful, she could hear him crying and it killed her at the time, but she also said after it was over it didn't seem to bother her son either.

 

Circumcision certainly isn't necessary. I didn't know about the masturbation link. I always thought they initially did it to protect against infections. It's good that you are doing research. I'm sure you will make the best decision for your child.

 

Best of luck!

 

 

 
October 16, 2008, 9:01 pm CDT

Lonely

My husband and I have been married for 14 years.  Before we got married we had great sex but we were drinking most of the time.  We got married and it was pretty okay for the first 1o years and of course alcohol was mostly involved at the time.  Recently I have had several things happen.  I have been trying to  quit smoking cigerettes for the last year. The first time was last  August I quit for 3 months and now for 18 days.  Five years ago I went through an alcohol rehab program for 30 days as an out patient.  I quit drinking for a while but started heavily again after our move four years ago.  In the last 3 years I haven't drank hardly at all.  Matter of fact now I do not carve alcohol at all.  I may have one or two glasses wine out at dinner but that is it.  I physically can not drink anymore like I used to, which is great.  I guess my body is telling me enough is enough.  So all of that is great except my husband stills does both of those things.  He says he is going to get helathier and quit and does for about 3-4 days and then he is right back at it again.  I ask him not to do it around me and he forgets and does.  He tries to kiss me and I  gross out because he stinks like smoke and alcohol.. So in turn I do not want him touching me so we hardly ever have sex.  I really have no interest.  The smell actually makes my stomach turn.  I tell him that he smells and he says either he is sorry or sometimes takes a shower.  I eat dinner alone, I sit in the house in evenings alone because he is outside in the garage drinking and smoking.  I am at a turning point in my life that I want to do more things and not sit around.  He is content mostly with drinking every night.  If we do go somewhere I have to drive or we don't go.  I do not want the rest of my life to be like this.  I am certain he has a drinking problem and it has alot to do with some issues he tries to get straight in his head.  He usually does not talk that much to me about them but the one's I know of are his mother and the Iraq war when he was over there.  He has forgotten things he has told me and my daughter while drinking.  He doesn't do hardly any work that needs to be done around the house.  I am worried and getting alittle fed up. He will not seek help because of his job and also he values his name and won't take that risk of someone finding out he has a problem.  He would see it as a sign of weakness.

Do you have any advice?

C

 
November 9, 2008, 5:01 am CST

virtually sexless marriage

Hello, I am Mindy. I have been married to my second husband for 2 years. We met in the Church. My husband is a good man. He helps out my grown children when needed, and enjoys the 7 grandchildren we share together. Before we got married we did have sweet lovemaking times. The night of our wedding day, which was beautiful, we did not make love. I cannot count the number of times we made real passionate love , on one hand. My husband no longer tells me the things he did prior to marriage. My husband wants morning sex, which takes less then 3 minutes. I do not like morning sex for the following reasons, I am not a morning person, I have fibromyalgia,{ More pain in the morning}, in which he fails to understand. It is a lazy way to have sex on his part, and I deserve more. I have tried to explain to my husband I would be more inclined to morning sex if he would just show me some intimacy and make love to me like a man should to his wife. I/we have sought the aid of our church, yet nothing has changed. I feel so unloved by my husband, I feel as though our marriage is based on a lie. Why does it all Change when married? We are very active in the church and with family, but intimately I am starving. My heart aches for affection and I am at a loss. Divorce is not an option, but I do feel resentful and find my self quick to anger. Thanks for letting me vent. God bless........
 
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