Topic : Sex

My husband and i been married for 4 years and i say 2 years into the marriage he brings up that he wants to swing, not to mention that he said he been into it since high school. How i do handle this? I am not into swinging and not sure what it  really is, i heard that it is swaping partners, any ways ai dont want anything to do with it and i think i made a mistake of going to parties of that enviroment with him, and i only went cause it is something he enjoys. I regret even going, now we argu when a party comes up and i dont want to go. So i feel like i am trapped in a marriage and we have 2 young kids that are involved. Someone please help me!!!!

Just say NO to swinging...I tried it, its not a good thing for a relationship with trouble!  The "responsible" swinging websites will be the first to tell you that if a relationship is in jeopardy, it will kill it!

I tried to be open minded when my boyfriend told me about it, his fantasies and his previous involvement with it.  I really wanted to be open minded, but what I saw within the community has absolutely confirmed that it is NOT a good idea.

This is a community that has some really great people, is supportive of privacy and for the most part, your average next door neighbors.  But underneath, the truth is that there are much more "hot" women than men.  There is a hunter/hunted atmosphere...being fresh meat on the swingers market is a fleeting status.  The odds of finding a couple that you both find appealing is RARE!  leaving the other partner (go back to previous statement....more hot women than men) inevitably "taking one" for the team.  There are weird, hurt feelings from other couples that question why you may be spending so much time with another couple.  There are predatory singles (men and women) who have no problem making a game of coming between you and your spouse.

Its just bad...don't do it...find other ways to add "spice" to your sex life!  Preferably ways that keep your partnership a two-sie not three-sie, four-sie...etc

Are you getting enough? Maintaining the sizzle? Or just too tired to even think about it?

To tell you the truth, my husband and I have been having a great sex life in my opinion. When it comes to the ammount of it it veries from time to time. When it comes to maintaining the sizzle, from time to time I would like to try new things just to spice things up a bit or to just try something new but I hardly see/ find anything different. Not only that but I don't want to throw him up for a loop. Know what I mean? And to tell you the truth, very seldom am I to tired to even think about it. It used to be that way in the day but that was because of thinking about other things to much or worrying that he may not like it or is he thinking about me, or whatever, mostly self conscience issues. But considering that we have been together for 6yrs now with no major issues for a long while I have taken that into great consideration, and just smile. :-)

I have never been with a guy who wasn't circumcised so I can't really answer your question. I did work with a guy who wasn't. When I was pregnant with my son he told me to get him circumcised because he always felt embarrassed that he wasn't and actually got the procedure done when he was adult which he said was extremely painful.  

I made them do the procedure on my son before I left the hospital. I had my son on a weekend. Unfortunately my regular doctor wasn't on call but he had told me he would do the procedure at the hospital, the doctor who delivered me didn't want to do it, but I insisted and he eventually caved in. When my son came back from the procedure I could tell he had been crying, but it never seemed to bother him after that.

One of my friends had to take her son to the doctors office to have it done a week after he was born, she said it was awful, she could hear him crying and it killed her at the time, but she also said after it was over it didn't seem to bother her son either.

Circumcision certainly isn't necessary. I didn't know about the masturbation link. I always thought they initially did it to protect against infections. It's good that you are doing research. I'm sure you will make the best decision for your child.

Best of luck!

My husband and I have been married for 14 years.  Before we got married we had great sex but we were drinking most of the time.  We got married and it was pretty okay for the first 1o years and of course alcohol was mostly involved at the time.  Recently I have had several things happen.  I have been trying to  quit smoking cigerettes for the last year. The first time was last  August I quit for 3 months and now for 18 days.  Five years ago I went through an alcohol rehab program for 30 days as an out patient.  I quit drinking for a while but started heavily again after our move four years ago.  In the last 3 years I haven't drank hardly at all.  Matter of fact now I do not carve alcohol at all.  I may have one or two glasses wine out at dinner but that is it.  I physically can not drink anymore like I used to, which is great.  I guess my body is telling me enough is enough.  So all of that is great except my husband stills does both of those things.  He says he is going to get helathier and quit and does for about 3-4 days and then he is right back at it again.  I ask him not to do it around me and he forgets and does.  He tries to kiss me and I  gross out because he stinks like smoke and alcohol.. So in turn I do not want him touching me so we hardly ever have sex.  I really have no interest.  The smell actually makes my stomach turn.  I tell him that he smells and he says either he is sorry or sometimes takes a shower.  I eat dinner alone, I sit in the house in evenings alone because he is outside in the garage drinking and smoking.  I am at a turning point in my life that I want to do more things and not sit around.  He is content mostly with drinking every night.  If we do go somewhere I have to drive or we don't go.  I do not want the rest of my life to be like this.  I am certain he has a drinking problem and it has alot to do with some issues he tries to get straight in his head.  He usually does not talk that much to me about them but the one's I know of are his mother and the Iraq war when he was over there.  He has forgotten things he has told me and my daughter while drinking.  He doesn't do hardly any work that needs to be done around the house.  I am worried and getting alittle fed up. He will not seek help because of his job and also he values his name and won't take that risk of someone finding out he has a problem.  He would see it as a sign of weakness.

Do you have any advice?

C