Topic : Sex

 From the start of our relationship my husband has been lightly pushing me for a threesome with another woman. I am not in any way bisexual. Just the thought of another woman in the bed turns me off. I'm not trying to bash anyone with otherwise preferences, that's just my opinion. He only brings up the subject every once in awhile because he knows I'm negative toward the idea. We get into somewhat of an argument about it, and I am once again forced to tell him that I will find/help him find someone to do it with because I can't find a good come-back to his "that other woman will mean nothing" line. Our sex is kinda dulling because of my lack of interest right now. I just had a kid and am not always up to it, so he doesn't ask for it as much as he used to. I'm afraid he might start asking about the threesome again, but I don't know how to tell him that it's a bad idea because I don't want to do it. Advice anyone??  

Dont sink to anyones level that is expressing such behaviors. Once you react in a negative manner then the negativity continues its cycle. It is obvious that there is something going on with him that makes him request such an act. He has to be dealing with something. Maybe he thinks that by being involved in such an act it will confirm his man hood in some way, or maybe he has a friend that has told him about an experience and now he feels the need to compete. Or maybe he is just reaching out and letting you know that there needs to be some changes before he cheats. I dont condone this behavior however never try to react to a negative with a negative.  

Hi, 

I'm 25. Met my husband in highschool, we've been together ever since (8 years now). We got married 1.5 years ago and today have a wonderful 1 year old baby boy. 

We have had a real love story, and love each over dearly. We have good communications, talk about everything, including our sex life.  

Can't complain about the quality of sex, it's always have been and still is grait.  

BUT... I feel that 99% of the time we have sex - I'm the one to initiate it. My hasband never really comes forward first. But he usually does respond to my courtships. 

For the last couple of years I've started, maybe intentionaly, to initiate less, to see if it's only in my amaginition. But in reallity, we started having less sex. It came down to once every 2-3 weeks. 

I'm not satisfied with us having sex so rarely, but what bothers me most is that I gave him a chance (many chances) and he still doesn't initiate. Ever more so he now turns me down when I do. 

I get laim excuses like he's tiered, his head hurts or his stomack. Usualy it's true. So I even started to pick days when he is not to tiered, and feels well, but still nothing.  

Then I complain - he "caives in" - but when he does I'm of cource no longer interested, and feel agrivated. 

I'm a very confident person and do well in life. But after numerous (so it seems) turn downs I started to question if there is everything ok with me, if he still finds me attractive (natural question). 

For some time I thought that maybe it's because I gained some weight after pregnancy, and I pulled my self together and lost all the extra weight + 14 pounds over. And still nothing. 

There is no question in my mind that he loves me, he is very supportive in every other aspect of our life, a loving father and a good husband... well except for that one thing. 

The problem is that on one hand I start to loose confidence in my self because still can't figure out why he doesn't initiate sex, on the other hand it gets me angry. 

So, I asked him. And he claims that everything is ok, and that It's not true, that he does initiate. But he doesn't. Yes, he hugs and kisses and brings me dinner and even does loundry (every girls dream). But I one heard: If you don't have problems in the bedroom - then sex is only 10% of you relationship, but if you do - it becomes 90%. 

I even realized that maybe he just doen't need that much sex as I do. But I can't belive that once in 3 weeks for a 25 years old man is enough. 

And an infedelity is not a problem - know that for a fact. We spend most of our time together since we work together. 

And we like spending all day together, we really don't get tired of one enother, has been this way since highschool. 

I would love to hear what you think about our situation, maybe I'm overlooking something. 

I'm at a point of thinking to take a lover. 

Please help. 

Thank you, 

Neta 

To me that would a dream come true. When in a relationship I usually initiate the sex. Sometimes it makes me feel like a pervert or sex addict. I know when I was not seperated and if I did not want sex it was usually because I had my sexual desire satisfied else where. I dont want to put thoughts in your head but a 25 yr old and sex once every three weeks. Maybe I am not the normal male and your husband is. However this could be a sign that you might not want ignore.