Topic : Sex

You need to sit him down, with the kids in bed, gone or whatever, and explain to him how close to losing you and the kids he is. Make him understand that the ramifications of his behavior, without changes, are that you and he will split up. 

I was very similar (maybe not as bad as your husband sounds) until about 3 months ago. I was about to lose my wife to another guy before the lightbulb went off I and I knew I had to change. Try to make you husband understand how serious this is. He probably doesn' t get the gravity of the situation. You have to try and shake him awake from the sleepwalking he is currently going through. 

I'll warn you, there may be something causing this (another woman, he doesn't want to be married, etc), and you have to brace for that. But it could be like me he was just being selfish and lazy. Good luck. :( 

Married at age 18 and have two kids and are now 21?  You sound a lot like myself.  I am 22.  I was married to my husband when we were 18 and we just had our second child three months ago.  Does your husband work a lot of hours at a stressfull work enviroment?  I'm asking because my husband works 48 hours a week and most of time he is too tired to do anything.  I have gotten on his case a lot of times because I too felt that he wasn't making enough effort to spend time with us.  He thought that all he needed to do was just go to work.  Well, I stay at home with the kids all day and I don't get a day off like he does.  Our sex life fluctuates.  Sometimes he's too tired, sometimes I'm too tired.  But recently it has plumented.  So I talked with him about it and he said that all the financial obligations are what is triggering him not being in the mood everytime.  He is a manager and his job is very stressfull and that takes a big toll on a person. And I believe him, hell, we are 22 years old and have two kids.  We do not want anymore children, but yet that could still happen.  Maybe it's the same situation with your husband.  I'm sure he doesn't hate you.  Don't give up yet, just talk to him.  Don't badger him in to telling every detail right now (my husband is the type that likes to be alone for awhile).  When we have arguments and it gets to the point where it could turn ugly, we take a break, collect our thoughts, and then finish.  I hope this helps you, and if you ever want to talk I'm here.  It sounds like we have a lot in common. 

Am I being insecure when I ask my fiancee not to look at other women when he is with me? It makes me feel like crap. I think it is disrespectful. I am human and want to look too but I dont do it in front of him. I really want to just say forget it and look and see how he reacts. He says he wouldnt be bothered by it, but who wouldnt. Thats how I feel. I only see two options in this and that is either accept it or move on. I think those options suck. Is there any other options or am i really being unrealilistic?? I know he is a man and men look but is it really so hard not to do it infront of me? I am REALLY bothered by this.   

And i need some ideas for healthy outlets of frustration and anger. I am angry right now over this and all i want to do is lash out and just drop this relationship. My first thought always is to just leave. But that isnt what I really want to do. I just want him to respect me when it comes to this topic. Help me......... Please!!!!!!! 

Maybe you can try something new with your husband. Ask him what his fantasies are and act on them. Dress up for him. Try new positions. You might feel weird at first, like as if you arent doing it "right". I thought i was pretty open to sex when i got with my fiancee but he has opened me to a new world. Nothing really out of my comfort zone it has just brodened it. I actually like the things we do in the bed room. I was uncomfortable at first cuz i didnt know if i was doing it "right". And insecure about how i looked doing it. Learn how to give a bj like those women, and how to look and feel sexy like them within your boundries. Try it and if you dont like it then that is your boundry.  

I dont know if this will work for you but it has for me. He still watches porn but not nearly as often and never when i am home.  

I agree with you about not making more out of it but it seems like she is willing to put more effort into looking and googling over others than you!  Making you feel most important and special is needed in all relationships, sex or not!  And she is not doing that.  Seems like she is focusing on outside of the relationship rather than work on the two of you, which is most important.  I would sit down explain that if you hurt, she should care and both of you need to realize that if you left with feeling alone or undesireable, then it will effect the relationship as a whole!!!!!  

Hello, this is my first time posting...this may be long but I need some input.  I have been married for 7 months and have dated my husband for 5 years.  Our relationship at first was great, we had intimacy every other night (this was while he was still living at home).  We constantly broke up and got back together on our last attempt, we decided to move in together.  We had our ups and downs at first but got through it, our sex life started to diminish.  I would say we would be intimate maybe once a week.  We then got engaged and everything was the same.  I never really analyzed our intimate life since we were still doing it.  Me, I have a huge sex drive... 

Well, about 2 months before we got married, he told me that we were not going to do it until our wedding night.  Okay, fair enough, but why?  I didnt argue about it too much, said okay and that was it.  Our wedding night came, no intimacy, honeymoon no intimacy,  It took us a month to consimate.  We don't make out, cuddle, and now it seems we are averaging every 3 months of intercourse.  I don't know what to do.  When we do do it, he tells me to climb on top and then he only lasts about 5 min, if that!  Too, when we are doing it, there is no touching involved.... 

I have tried talking to him about it, he says that things are fine...then he says that sex should not be an issue, there are more important things...I say its an issue when you are not doing it. 

Ive tried asking him to go to a doctor to get checked, he says hes fine.  I have asked him to go with me to see a counselor he says no, hes not talking to anyone about our problems, but then says we have no problems.  I am just lost right now.  We don't hang out much, when we do go places its the grocery store or the mall.  We rarely go out by ourselves...we do sit at home, but then he is in one room and I am in another.  I don't know how much more of this non-intimate relationship I can take...please help. 

I am trying to figure out whether I am in a lost marriage, again? My 1st husband and I mutually seperated and went our own ways, stayed friends bcause of our kids- My 2nd husband was a great person, but we were alcoholics and I had to leave that enviroment. My current husband use to be great at one point. We still have good times, but I feel that he has become way to jealous, he thinks I have a crush on his father and is jealous of him, but he gets along with his father. My husband doesn't like it when I give his father a hug after church or on Thanksgiving Day, etc. There is totally nothing for his father other than that of fatherly love. Plus he thinks that he doesn't get enough sex. To him sex defines the relationship. I can't make him understand that when he acts like a jerk I don't find him desireable. He makes me be the aggressor in the initiation of sex because he says he doesn't like to be rejected. Plus I have desire to take a college course to obtain my real estate license and that ticks my husband off because he looks at it as taking time away from him. I sometimes have to work 2 nights a week and that ticks him off as well, again it's time taken away from him. Keep in mind that my job schedule varies and his is Mon-Fri, but I  do contibute to the household income. I make only 50 cents an hour less than him!!! 

I truly hate him and love him at the same time. I want to get myself back, I want someone who will support me in things I desire to accomplish in life. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF HIM AND ALL HIS JOB VENTURES, WHY CAN'T I GET THE SAME RESPECT???? 

WHAT IS THE DEAL?????