OK ... My husband and I have been married for a year and a half. Before we got married we had a great, VERY ACTIVE sex life. He was insatiable, always ready ... 3, 4, 5+ times a day. (Even though he's an associate pastor, he had no qualms about having pre-marital sex.) Once we got married, our sex life became completely non-existent. When I ask why he's suddenly no longer interested in sex, I usually just get a shrug and an "I don't know".
Once he told me, "Forbidden fruit is sweeter." Another time he told me that, on the rare occasion when we do have sex, he thinks about having sex with other women he knows (pretending that he's having sex with them, not me), but that makes him feel "guilty" so he figures if we don't have sex, he won't think about other women, and he won't feel guilty. (So ... To ease his conscious, I have to do without. Oh, that makes sense ... NOT!) And yet another time he told that he fatasizes about and has been "very tempted" to cheat on me (but swears he never has ...yet).
He also buys a lot of thong underwear that I've NEVER seen him wear, and he's started "collecting" cowboy hats (which he also never wears around me).
With these things in mind, what would you think? I can't help suspecting that he's running around on me. I mean, when a man goes from wanting sex 3, 4, 5+ times a day to not wanting (or showing any interest) in having sex at all ... What else can I think? It's definitely not an impotence problem ... He's able to get an erection and have an orgasm (he masturbates all the time). He also has plenty of opportunities to be with other women. I work away from home all day, and he does not keep office hours so he's entire day is basically free to do whatever or go wherever he wants. He has 9 hours every day to meet someone in a different town, have sex for a few hours, and get back home before I get off work. There have been many times when I've tried calling during the day, but he doesn't answer our house phone or his cell phone, and later when I ask where he was, he claims to have been home all day, and when I ask why he didn't answer the phone, he claims it never rang. (I know my own phone number ... Of course it rang!)
Anyway ... Do I have a legitimate reason to be suspicious or am I just being paranoid? I have never found anything to indicate that he's been with someone else (and believe me, I've looked), but he's very secretive/evasive about how he spends his time during the day, and I've caught him in lies about other things so it's hard for me to believe what he says.
Thoughts, comments, suggestions .... All input from the peanut gallery is welcome.
