Topic : Sex

I've been married for six years. For the past 6 - 8 months I simply haven't felt like being intimate with my husband. We may have sex once per month. I enjoy it when it happens, but when my husband tries to initiate it, i push him away.

I think he's the most beautiful person I know. I love being with him and cuddling with him, but I still keep pushing him away. I'm very confused.

He tells me it's no big deal, but then we had a huge argument the other day about it, and I know he's frustrated and hurt. I don't know what's wrong. I feel very guilty about pushing him away, but there seems to be some sort of block I put up with him.

I don't know if we've become boring or if all of the stress we've been under is the cause, but I don't know what to do.

We have been only married for 1 1/2 years and we only have sex/make love once a month.  My husband says there is no time (we have no children).  When we do make love it takes about 5 minutes and is horrible, horrible and did I say horrible?  I have tried showing, telling, talking, writing to try and help him along with what I desire and still absolutely NO improvements.  He also lacks effective communication skills and when I talk to him about our relationship he looks at me like a deer in the headlights!  He does not respond, act on or try and change the direction of our relationship.  I am at a loss because he is such a kind, gentle and thoughtful soul.  He is the type of man that cleans the house, does laundry and pulls my side of the sheets down for me to go to bed! I have talked to him about our relationship for the last 6 months and our last conversation I said I am not going to renew the mortgage (due in September).

Is my Husband a lost cause?

I can empathize, for sure, but I also wonder if your kids really need you out and about with them during the day.  Is there ANY way to start working on the day shift?  If you were all on the same wake/sleep schedule, it would probably help a lot.  What time do you two usually get up?  Are the kids in school now?  If so, how about 8:30 am, after they're all gone?

Do you think your kids get enough attention?  I am not saying you're bad parents or anything, just wondering if they might give you more quiet time if they get more attention when you are up.

Is there another room you can move to--in a more private area of the house?  OK, how about moving into a house with a private master bedroom?  Is that an option?  How about remodeling so you have a more private bedroom? 

Maybe I'm no help.  I'm just looking at changing some things to make it work, but maybe you can't change those things.  What do you think?