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Topic : 12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Number of Replies: 684
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Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:20:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/26/06) It’s do or die for the men today, as their partners tell them to either walk down the aisle or walk the highway! Tony and Mary have dated for 12 years, and have been engaged for eight. Mary wants to set a wedding date, but Tony says even after all these years, he’s not ready and still feels pressured to tie the knot. Does Tony fear getting married or getting married to Mary? Then, Rosanna has been dating her boyfriend, Dennis, for almost five years and says she’s tired of “playing house.” Dennis maintains that he told Rosanna from the start he didn’t want to get married. Should they just throw in the towel and move on? Plus, Robin shares some relationship tips, and the women finally take a stand and issue ultimatums for their men! Join the discussion.

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September 23, 2006, 7:07 pm CDT

Sometimes you have to give him a little push

Life was simpler in 1931.  This is a story that Robin will love.  Read how my Mama took matters into her own hands when she thought Daddy  was going to be a little slow in marrying her. They married in November of 1931 and when Mom went to Heaven in February of 1996...they were still married.  

http://360.yahoo.com/suemitchell48

Long Ago & Far Away

This is a blog of memories.  I realized that when I am gone, the stories of my family will be gone...for I am the last that knows them...and the memories I have will be lost.  I decided to put them down for my niece and her family...maybe a few other folks who might enjoy them.  I am a big fan of Dr. Phil & Robin.  Enjoy his shows & have learned a few things there.   I  had just finished posting the story of how my parents got together when I read about Tuesday's show.    I thought it fit right in.   Blessings,  Sue

 
September 23, 2006, 7:25 pm CDT

Marry me or else.

I too was engaged to a man for 7 years. Every time we set a wedding date he would break up with me right before saying he wasn't happy. After this last time he asked me to come back....2 years ago...I told him that I would not marry him. I was not going to play that game again. He seemed shocked, but oh well. I am Happy to report that on $/22/06 we became husband and wife.....and it was his choice..not mine.Don't get me wrong it is what I very much wanted...but it was his decision to make the move....and he didn't feel pressured.
 
September 23, 2006, 10:13 pm CDT

%&#@ Or Get Off The Pot!!!

If you haven't been able to get married after 13 years, "he's just not that into you!" 

 

Be Strong Women!!!  You don't need to have a man to be a good woman, or to have value.  You can be a whole person without a man in your life.  Don't make a man validate you.  Have confidence to live your own life the way you want to. 

 

I am 56 years old, and I just got married for the first time last year.  I wasn't looking, I was completely confident in who I was, and I was very happy spending time with myself.  I am happy being married, but my husband does not define me as a person.  I am able to do whatever it is I want to do, but we also have a lot of fun together.

 

Find someone who wants to settle down.  Believe me they are out there.  It is extremely difficult.  But, what have you got to loose?

 
September 24, 2006, 1:02 am CDT

negotiate first

My husband and I feel strongly about this - and made sure that our three girls knew how we felt about things before they left home.

Before a couple sets up a home together - part of the dating process is to be a discussion on commitment and marraige, children and the raising and discipline of the children.  These things need to be sorted out early on, and I feel that moving in together is a pre - cursor to marraige.  This being so there should be a time frame to getting engaged and married after moving in together.    I don't believe in just drifting along, and just letting things happen or not happen to you. 

My girls took my message to heart, and have all three set the high standards that they expect, of mutual respect and communication in their marraiges and families.  It is true that one is treated the way one allows people to treat you.

 
September 24, 2006, 3:31 am CDT

Not the Same

I have been in a relationship for 5 years. Marriage is very important to me and without it I feel the commitment is not there. I understand many do not need this but I realize I do. I have asked him a few times to marry me......the answer.....he is not ready but someday..... Now if he ever proposed to me I would feel like he was forced into it and not doing it for the right reasons. I loved this man very much but have been seeing less and less of him so that I can find the relationship that I want & need. If you are content without this commitment that is great but if you are not.......my advice.....from someone that has been there........."MOVE ON RIGHT AWAY"........the hurt will be less. Working on it in Toronto. :-)
 
September 24, 2006, 3:38 am CDT

Commitment is an individual thing

Quote From: clockers

What is the hang up about marriage?  I know that is such a guy thing to say.  Why is a relationship not taken as seriously or someones love is not official without that piece of paper?  I don't get the mentallity of someone saying to their boyfriend or girlfriend(rarely) that "if you don't marry me I will leave you"  What is that all about?  It just shows that the partnership is not about the love, but about the idea of having a person committed on paper.  I realize people will argue that marriage is a symbol of love and blah blah blah, but that just be-littles relationships that have the same love with no paper.  Marriage doesn't equal commitment.  Marriage doesn't make someone love, nor does it prevent from loving someone else.  Marriage does give you the excuse to be lazy in your committment.  People feel there is less work to be done, because you already have the person.  I'm not saying this is true of all marriages, if you make it work it will work, but any relationship is like that.  To bad for people that are not married because society tends to think their relationship is not as serious or committed.  Most marriage ends up in divorce because people use marriage as a way to gain finacially or to forfill that so-called missing piece of themselves.  People should be together not to gain something, but to give something.  My point is, marriage doesn't make love legitimate and people should never be pressured into it. Guys don't want to get married sometimes because things tend to change when they do.  Not only on the womens end but the guys end.  They get complacent and when that happens the relationships eventually fails. People also have such high expectations for their marriages and it's something alot of women dream of their whole lives.  When that happens, guy tend to feel as if anything less will be a burden on them.  Women don't realize the pressure of the marriage, but not committment, which are two different things.  When you find the one for you, what's the differnce if you are married or just in love together for the rest of your lives.  I personally like the pressure of having to keep my relationship fresh and have to work my butt off for someone to stay interested, because we don't have a paper tying us together.  We are together as long as we want it, not because we should or have too. I am not in the situation because my girlfriend of 8 years feels the same way.  Hey and if I get married in ten years then I least I know I will be with someone I truly know, love and am best friends with.   

People are raised differently and have different needs and wants. You are content with your relationship as it is. The point here is what if one of them wants to be married. does that mean the love is not as strong or real as yours? No , I don't think so. Everyone is different in this world and if someone wants to be married, they should move on to the next person to find someone who is compatible to their thinking. This whole show will be about........i want marriage, he dosen't........should I stay or go?      My advice = GO
 
September 24, 2006, 6:29 am CDT

comittment

 Really if you want to get married, you shouldn't live together first because the incentive for marriage is not there. Marriage is not something to be entered into lighltly. If two people do not have the same goals and expectations in a relationship then the relationship is bound to eventually fail. Forcing someone into marriage is not the way to go. You are better off to cut your ties no matter how much it hurts at first and move on with your life.

 There are couples who live together and are perfectly happy with that arrangement but you need to know going in what kind of comittment you are wanting. Be mutually happy and have respect for the other persons decision.

 

 
September 24, 2006, 6:36 am CDT

09/26 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: zblake

I told my husband now of 3 years, but my then boyfriend, that after dating him for a year if nothing happened to lead us to being married, that I would walk.  We got married after 12 month--and he and I are very happy together.  I have this friend girl who also did the same with her husband about kids and after 13 years of marriage, he decided that he did not want any.  He has 3 others by another woman and she, none.  I feel for all these cases of people hanging in there for such a long time without the committment.  GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN !!!!

You have the right idea! Why be with someone who does not have the same goals as you.

My husband and I are coming up on our first anniversary. We dated three months, got engaged, and married 1 year to the date we met. We are very happy! I totally agree if marriage is what you want and the guy doesn't GET OUT ! don't waste anymore time!

 
September 24, 2006, 6:40 am CDT

wake-up!!!!

I'm not Dr. Phil, just throwing that out at ya, 

I believe if a man or women has been in a relationship for one year and have still not come to a mentally conclusion that they would love to spend the rest of their life with their partner more then likely they will not get married to them. There is an old saying "Why buy the COW if you can get the milk for free. It's a sad statement,  but you have some men and women who really think like this. You should not have to force a person to marry you. You should value yourself more and  know what you have to offer to someone;however, if your partner isn't smart enough to see this master piece you have painted, and you feel he, or she have taken you for granted move on. Life is to short. Yes, it is hard to do so, if you feel you have invested time, and you have mold and shaped this person and you can't comprehend anyone else with your partner, but you, you have to love yourself more and take your new life experience you have gotten out of this relationship and move on. Yes, easier said then done, but with time and healing you can accomplish this. Time and faith heals all.

 
September 24, 2006, 6:41 am CDT

wake-up!!!!

I'm not Dr. Phil, just throwing that out at ya, 

I believe if a man or women has been in a relationship for one year and have still not come to a mentally conclusion that they would love to spend the rest of their life with their partner more then likely they will not get married to them. There is an old saying "Why buy the COW if you can get the milk for free. It's a sad statement,  but you have some men and women who really think like this. You should not have to force a person to marry you. You should value yourself more and  know what you have to offer to someone;however, if your partner isn't smart enough to see this master piece you have painted, and you feel he, or she have taken you for granted move on. Life is to short. Yes, it is hard to do so, if you feel you have invested time, and you have mold and shaped this person and you can't comprehend anyone else with your partner, but you, you have to love yourself more and take your new life experience you have gotten out of this relationship and move on. Yes, easier said then done, but with time and healing you can accomplish this. Time and faith heals all.

 
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