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Topic : 12/20 Marry Me or Else!

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Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:20:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/26/06) It’s do or die for the men today, as their partners tell them to either walk down the aisle or walk the highway! Tony and Mary have dated for 12 years, and have been engaged for eight. Mary wants to set a wedding date, but Tony says even after all these years, he’s not ready and still feels pressured to tie the knot. Does Tony fear getting married or getting married to Mary? Then, Rosanna has been dating her boyfriend, Dennis, for almost five years and says she’s tired of “playing house.” Dennis maintains that he told Rosanna from the start he didn’t want to get married. Should they just throw in the towel and move on? Plus, Robin shares some relationship tips, and the women finally take a stand and issue ultimatums for their men! Join the discussion.

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December 29, 2006, 8:21 pm CST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: purplepenny

Marriages that end ARE often taken seriously...most people don't want to make a mockery of marriage by staying married when they KNOW they shouldn't be.
I agree that some  of these divorced marraiges are taken seriously but I don't think all of them are, it may only be one of them not taking it seriously but without both,  the more I think about it,the marriage can't  really be taken serious.

Any way, I think we are agreeing more then you think we are. I feel like we are saying  basically the same thing, just different wording which I am sure I am wrong about that but whatever the case, Marriage is awesome and I know for a fact  the negative can be made into positive, been there and am reaping great results and it is because it takes two to make it happen.

Back to the topic of the board, to those who desire marraige, you don't have to settle, better to be alone then to be lead into believing in something that you are being promised and for those who do not want marriage, don't drag your partner along, be honest and for those who wnat your marraiges to work, it's possible, but you have to be a team and for those who divorce, Make sure it is the right thing to do, you deserve to be happy.
 
January 6, 2007, 11:08 am CST

oooooooooook?

Quote From: susanashe

Why oh WHY would these women, or any for that matter, want to marry someone that had made it plain they don't want to get married?  I would bet anything that it isn't that these men don't want to get married at all, they just don't want to marry that particular woman! 

Case in point here - I was 45 and had been seeing someone for three years, in October of our 3rd year I told him flat out that if I didn't see a ring under the tree at Xmas then we were done.   We didn't live together mainly because I had my own home and he didn't yet and was till renting and I wasn't about to give up my home without a marriage certificate.  So anyway, fast forward to Xmas morning that year.  No ring.  So I didn't say a word, we went on about our morning and when it came time to get ready to go to is parents for dinner with them I just sat on the couch watching TV as he took a shower and got dressed and ready to go.  He finally noticed I was still in my sleep clothes and he asked me when I was going to start getting ready to go.  I just simply said oh, I forgot, I have one more present for you - its on the front porch, go take a look.  So he got all excited and he went to the front porch only to find a box of some of his clothes and shaving stuff he had kept at my house, all boxed up and wrapped like a real Xmas gift.  After he opened it he came back in and looked at me kind of funny while I was still calmly sitting on the couch.  I didn't even look up from the TV while I reminded him of what I had said in October about having a ring and setting a date and he said yeah I remember that conversation.  I said, well, did you think I was kidding ?  Well, I wasn't.  So since there was no ring and no date set, then we are done !  See ya - take your box of crap and get out of my home!  I am DONE!   He left but didn't take me seriously til I refused to take any more of his phone calls over the next few weeks.  We finally ran into each other and talked til the wee hours of the morning and I told him once again, that I was serious - no ring after 3 years and I was moving on, period.  As a matter of fact I had started dating again by New Years Eve - a week after I told him to get away from me. 

We started seeing each other again and I let the ring issue drop - but then on Valentines day he had me meet him for dinner at our favorite place and afterwards we got in his truck and went to a jewelers and he told me to pick out any ring I wanted.  So I got a gorgeous 2 carat marquise solitaire and he did the whole getting on one knee and all that stuff.  He was working out of town at the time during the week mostly and was just home that one nite to propose to me on Valentines Day - then he left the next morning and drove the two hours back to his work saying he would see me on Saturday morning when he got home from work for the weekend.  I went to work the next day wearing my ring and showing it to my girlfriends but then I realized during the day that after all the trouble it took to get that to finally happen, did I REALLY want it anymore ?  I decided the answer was NO !  I left work that day and went to see the jeweler who was a good friend of mine and my long time jeweler for everything and I gave him the ring back and told him to send the refund back to my "fiance" - by the time my now ex fiance - (though he didn't know it yet) got home on Saturday he got his mail and found the refund check from the store and tried to call me - I had changed my number to another unlisted one after I took the ring back.  So he drove over to my house and asked me what was going on - I told him I had decided that he was too late in the ring and proposal and I really didn't want it anymore.  Then I told him goodbye and good luck and see ya !  Shut the door and never looked back.  Best thing I ever did.    Bottom line is if a guy says he doesn't want to get married, especially at the start of a relationship, then say SEE YA then and there. 

Funny thing is that he ended up meeting some low life welfare whore who had a kid who didn't even know who out of three men was the father and he moved her in within a month of me dumping him - and then married her within 9 months after SHE showed up at his workplace (he was working back in town by that time) in a WEDDING dress no less and her 3 year old daughter saying DADDY DADDY and dressed in a little white dress too - and they got married, ended up getting in a huge fight the same nite as their wedding and she tore up the marriage license in a fit of drunken rage - (I TOLD you she was white trash!) - and they stayed married for a whole 9 months - he came home one nite from work to find a moving truck and her moving EVERYTHING out of HIS house - all of the furniture that was HIS she was taking that too - and a cop was there and forced HIM to leave til she was done cleaning him out down to his plates and pots and pans.  So, in 9 months, she got him to adopt her bastard kid since no other man would claim her - she took all of his stuff, she had NOTHING when they met, she was 30 and living with her parents, and she took the brand new truck that he had bought for her. When they got divorced she got half of his pension, child support for the bastard kid and kept the new truck and he had to finish paying for it AND she also got spousal support because she claimed that by marrying him she had lost her earning power.  Hell, she hadn't been working when they met - she was on WELFARE - but she got 1000 in spousal support and 500 in child support a month.  Not a bad deal for a welfare drunk mother who was married for a little over 9 months !  he actually showed up on my door step after she left him and when I answered the door I just looked at him and said you have GOT to be kidding ???  And I told him to go away again and leave me alone and I shut the door and never looked back.  Any other man I have ever dated is welcome in my home any time but not him !    I thank GOD every day of my life since him that I took the ring back and dumped him.  He is now, last I heard from a friend of his who I date occasionally, he is now with another white trash welfare women and living in a dump !   Glad he got what he deserved

You know what? I none of this post do you actually sound well ajusted and happy with your decisions or anything. Absolutly none of it!
 
September 6, 2007, 8:25 am CDT

So Dr Phil married his wife because she blackmaled him.

I'm really sorry but i do not understand why the women in this show are advised by Dr Phil to blackmale or bribe their wanted husband to mary them by leaving.
These women obviously do not love these men, and marriage is not an obligation in a relationship. Many people nowadays live together and have children without beeing married. No problem at all.
So what is so imported about marriage for the women in this show. They even risk the relationship by putting the men under such pressure. If i had a girlfriend that pushed me so hard into a marriage, i would throw her out myself, no blackmaling on me, golddiggers!
 
July 7, 2008, 5:54 am CDT

The next step

After long hurtful marriages, my bf and I have been together for 3 years.  We both have 3 kids, most college aged.  Genuinely, a great relationship: respect, humor, candor, intellect, spirituality, athleticism, kindness.  We do not spend nights at with one another, unless there are no children around (infrequent---almost never as we both have custody of our kids), mainly out of respect to our kids.  I have grown weary of "dating".  I do not need to marry, but I do want our lives to be together.  We do not do one thing apart...our calendars and life events are one and the same.  He is religious, I do attend services with him, which has been a wonderful thing for both of us to share.  We have alluded to lives together, often discussing plans for the future.  To pull our lives together would be an undertaking...8 cars, selling houses and buyiing new, just simply logistics like laundry and food shopping would be big.  To cut to the chase, during a discussion two weeks ago, he confided that he could not take the next step; my reply to him was that he needed to go and we needed to move on if that was the case, because this lack of commitment was really starting to get in the way of a fabulous relationship.  An unexpected and devastating turn of events for my kids and both of us, for sure, and his kids too i suspect.  I am stunned at how deeply I am effected by this, and some how feel I may have acted in haste...but ultimately feel my frustration would really take its toll.  What are your opinions, and what should I expect or do.  I am beyond devastated, as is he. 
 
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