Topic : 12/20 Marry Me or Else!

What is the hang up about marriage?  I know that is such a guy thing to say.  Why is a relationship not taken as seriously or someones love is not official without that piece of paper?  I don't get the mentallity of someone saying to their boyfriend or girlfriend(rarely) that "if you don't marry me I will leave you"  What is that all about?  It just shows that the partnership is not about the love, but about the idea of having a person committed on paper.  I realize people will argue that marriage is a symbol of love and blah blah blah, but that just be-littles relationships that have the same love with no paper.  Marriage doesn't equal commitment.  Marriage doesn't make someone love, nor does it prevent from loving someone else.  Marriage does give you the excuse to be lazy in your committment.  People feel there is less work to be done, because you already have the person.  I'm not saying this is true of all marriages, if you make it work it will work, but any relationship is like that.  To bad for people that are not married because society tends to think their relationship is not as serious or committed.  Most marriage ends up in divorce because people use marriage as a way to gain finacially or to forfill that so-called missing piece of themselves.  People should be together not to gain something, but to give something.  My point is, marriage doesn't make love legitimate and people should never be pressured into it. Guys don't want to get married sometimes because things tend to change when they do.  Not only on the womens end but the guys end.  They get complacent and when that happens the relationships eventually fails. People also have such high expectations for their marriages and it's something alot of women dream of their whole lives.  When that happens, guy tend to feel as if anything less will be a burden on them.  Women don't realize the pressure of the marriage, but not committment, which are two different things.  When you find the one for you, what's the differnce if you are married or just in love together for the rest of your lives.  I personally like the pressure of having to keep my relationship fresh and have to work my butt off for someone to stay interested, because we don't have a paper tying us together.  We are together as long as we want it, not because we should or have too. I am not in the situation because my girlfriend of 8 years feels the same way.  Hey and if I get married in ten years then I least I know I will be with someone I truly know, love and am best friends with.   

This is certainly one of the saddest topics for any guy to read.  Marriage is a complete financial, emotional, and social negative for any male.  Whatever it might have been in the past, (if any better) it's now about woman who make less money than you, have less education, are younger and have less job experiance, taking your wallet and house when the leave with YOUR kids.

I can't believe any man would put up with any woman who wanted him to sign a poison oppressive contract like anglo-saxon marriage.

This institution should be dumped like it's other great 19th century peculiar institution, slavery.

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!!!!

But NOT EVERYONE wants it, that simple.

And why exactly do people belive that common-law couples are "playing house" that really bugs me, we have the same problems and struggles of "Married Couples" and its no easier for me to leave than anyone else, to each his or her own.

This is certainly one of the saddest topics for any guy to read.  Marriage is a complete financial, emotional, and social negative for any male.  Whatever it might have been in the past, (if any better) it's now about woman who make less money than you, have less education, are younger and have less job experiance, taking your wallet and house when the leave with YOUR kids.

I can't believe any man would put up with any woman who wanted him to sign a poison oppressive contract like anglo-saxon marriage.

This institution should be dumped like it's other great 19th century peculiar institution, slavery.

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!!!!

But NOT EVERYONE wants it, that simple.

And why exactly do people belive that common-law couples are "playing house" that really bugs me, we have the same problems and struggles of "Married Couples" and its no easier for me to leave than anyone else, to each his or her own.

Well first of all God says that you are playing house because He tells us not to have sexual relations before marriage.  So if you are living with a man than most likely you are  having sex with him so you are already going against what God tells you to do.  Yes you still have struggles, not really all the same struggles.  Let me explain.

If you wait to have sex with a man before you marry him then you will build a stronger foundation.  You will get to know him, build a friendship before you become completely intimate with him.  Sex is like superglue, God intended sex to help us become more intimate with our spouses, it was a gift that we give to our husband after we are married.  If you are already living together and not married you can no longer give this gift of sex to your husband, which means it cheapens the gift of sex that God intended you to give to Him on your wedding night. 

Since there is not a real committment, ie marriage, yes it is a piece of paper, but it is more than that it is a committment.  It is standing before witnesses and God and saying out loud I commit my heart and my life to this person.  If you are not married you haven't done that and so that breeds an atmosphere of "this person could walk out on me at anytime", which creates an underlying feeling of distrust.  Waiting for marriage to have sex or living with your husband to be, allows yourself to know that your future spouse is willing to sacrifice for you by waiting for your hand in marriage.  If a person is not going to sacrifice for you, that means put your needs above their own before marriage, then they probably won't do it in marriage. 

You have the same struggles,but your struggles are underlined with trust issues and committment issues which exacerbates the problems, you can't see it, but your heart knows it and it is felt in your spirit, that is how God wired us.  You can try to do things your own way, but it won't work really, there will always be an underlying sense of insecurity in the relationship. 

God tells us that it is never too late to do the right thing, God is longsuffering He patiently waits for us to choose His ways and when we do He blesses us for it.  The best thing you could do is to get married, if either of you can't do that then what I have written about is true, if you can than God will bless your marriage.  God is for marriage He is not for living together.  God is not a killjoy, He wants the best for us, He knows what is best for us because He created us.  And if you want to know how something works look to the inventor you will get all the answers. 

His best is that you get married.  If your mate will not marry you then ask him to move out, yes it will be a hardship on both of you, but you know what? God will provide for you in amazing ways, just honor our Lord Jesus Christ and He will honor you back.  God doesn't promise that we will never have hardship, but He does promise that if we do things His way He will reveal Himself to us more and more and direct our lives more and more to His ways, which are always better than our own.  God uses trials to strengthen us and He will use this trial to strengthen each of you to make you more like Him.