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Topic : 12/20 Marry Me or Else!

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Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:20:09 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 09/26/06) It’s do or die for the men today, as their partners tell them to either walk down the aisle or walk the highway! Tony and Mary have dated for 12 years, and have been engaged for eight. Mary wants to set a wedding date, but Tony says even after all these years, he’s not ready and still feels pressured to tie the knot. Does Tony fear getting married or getting married to Mary? Then, Rosanna has been dating her boyfriend, Dennis, for almost five years and says she’s tired of “playing house.” Dennis maintains that he told Rosanna from the start he didn’t want to get married. Should they just throw in the towel and move on? Plus, Robin shares some relationship tips, and the women finally take a stand and issue ultimatums for their men! Join the discussion.

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djach46

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Distressed

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December 20, 2006, 8:41 pm PST

Real questions to ask Yourself

Does he cherish you? Does he treasure you? Does he put you before all others? Mind, body and soul

AND

Do you cherish him? Do you treasure him? Do you put him before all others? Mind, body and soul?

Do both of you think of how your actions each day will affect the other?

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djach46

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Distressed

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December 20, 2006, 9:01 pm PST

In answer to sherij11251

Quote From: sherij11251

this show just slams this issue in my face. i have been in love with (mike) since 1973. he will not give me a commitment. i have tried to move on. but he shows up and i fall back in love with him all over again. everyone i know tells me to move on and i wish i could.. my heart is so broken and i wish i could fix it....

jean

Over 30 years and you have not been able to move on???? As Dr Phil might say, "what payoff are you getting out of this?" " How is this working for you?" Honestly, you already know the answer to your dilema, you are just too afraid to allow yourself to recognize it. Girl, YOU are the only one who can heal your broken heart. You may really love this guy, but obviously, he doesn't love you the same way. "Either get busy living or get busy dying", to quote a line from the movie Shawshank Redemption. Good Luck. You KNOW you can do what you have needed to do for a LONG time!

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bear_ta

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Peaceful

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happy

December 20, 2006, 9:35 pm PST

it's late and i was too tired to explain what i was thinking so this is it for now...

Quote From: sherij11251

this is me wanting an answer to my dilemna. can anyone take a moment to try to give me their perspective.

Miss Havisham The mad, vengeful Miss Havisham, a wealthy dowager who lives in a rotting mansion and wears an old wedding dress every day of her life, is not exactly a believable character, but she is certainly one of the most memorable creations in the book. Miss Havisham’s life is defined by a single tragic event: her jilting by Compeyson on what was to have been their wedding day. From that moment forth, Miss Havisham is determined never to move beyond her heartbreak. She stops all the clocks in Satis Houseat twenty minutes to nine, the moment when she first learned that Compeyson was gone, and she wears only one shoe, because when she learned of his betrayal, she had not yet put on the other shoe. With a kind of manic, obsessive cruelty, Miss Havisham adopts Estella and raises her as a weapon to achieve her own revenge on men. Miss Havisham is an example of single-minded vengeance pursued destructively: both Miss Havisham and the people in her life suffer greatly because of her quest for revenge. Miss Havisham is completely unable to see that her actions are hurtful to Pip and Estella. She is redeemed at the end of the novel when she realizes that she has caused Pip’s heart to be broken in the same manner as her own; rather than achieving any kind of personal revenge, she has only caused more pain. Miss Havisham immediately begs Pip for forgiveness, reinforcing the novel’s theme that bad behavior can be redeemed by contrition and sympathy.

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jojobeaner

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December 20, 2006, 9:36 pm PST

My heart goes out to you.

Quote From: djach46

Quote From: sherij11251

jean

You will be in my prayers. Dear Jesus I ask that you help Sherij11251 to move on, to have the courage to move on with her life. Lord please speak to Mike about why he is afraid to make that marriage committment, Lord please speak to his heart and please help him to overcome this fear I ask in Jesus name Amen

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jojobeaner

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December 20, 2006, 9:40 pm PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: wabbit51

We have been together for over 20 years and I will not marry him. I do not need a piece of paper to say that I am committed to him. I have ensured that he has all the rights that marriage would give him, I wear a wedding band (my great, great grandmothers) but I just do not see any reason to pay money to the government. In the eyes of our familes and friends we are married and that is all that matters.

If its "just a piece of paper" why not marry him? How would a piece of paper change how you love this man?

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dogncatlvr

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Good

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December 20, 2006, 9:42 pm PST

stop being so pushy: go find someone else

Stop being so pushy. The men are evidently not in the marriage mode right now and that is their right. If the tables were turned, would you like being pressured if you were not ready? Most likely not, so you need to let up, move out, and let nature take its course, whatever that may be.

This is coming from a female who is not married, has no desire for marriage, and would be

very irritated if there were someone pushing me when I had no desire.

So, move out, move on, and let the chips fall where they may.

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jojobeaner

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Peaceful

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December 20, 2006, 9:47 pm PST

Questions

Quote From: sherij11251

this is me wanting an answer to my dilemna. can anyone take a moment to try to give me their perspective.

What is Mike's reasoning for not marrying you? How have you rationalized his reasons in your mind? What is Mike's definition of Love? Why do you stay? what are your reasons? Why does he stay or keep coming back? Have you ever given him an ultimatum and stuck with it? Why do you give in and let him come back?

When your family and friends tell you to move on why don't you? What hold does he have on you, what are you afraid of? 30 years is a long time, but it's never too late to do the right thing.

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jojobeaner

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December 20, 2006, 9:55 pm PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: ccobi2

I'm in the same boat as the ladies on the show. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and still no ring. All our friends are married and also my cousins younger than me. I made him watch the show but we ended up fighting. I'm tired of just being the girlfriend I want more and I deserve more! I have tired to kick him out but he refuses to leave and tells me I have a surprise for you if you just wait. Like an idiot I wait and let him back in. Please give me advise.

when a guy is serious about marriage he doesn't take eight years or longer to propose or marry you. A guy who loves you wants to spend the rest of his life with you right now. There is obviously something about you that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with right now, it may be something about you or it may be something he doesn't want to give up. Find out what that it and if it is something that can be worked out, get counseling and work it out, if it is something that you are not willing to work out then move on. Moving on will not be easy, it is heartbreaking, but you need to do it for your own sanity and well being. You want to be married, preferably to this man, but if he is not wanting this then you should move on.

If you let go of this relationship then you are freeing yourself up to meet the man that is just waiting to meet you and marry you and believe me he will be far better suited for you than this man who will not marry you. Take a step in faith, you will not regret it.

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amylaura37

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Happy

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hopeful

December 20, 2006, 11:12 pm PST

He's just not that into me

We all know this phrase. "He's just not that into me." I would have to guess that if a couple has been together that many years and the guy is still not committed to getting married, love him or not , he's got to be on his way. Unless the female partner is happy with the arrangement. But when a man makes excuses to not commit, that should be a red flag. I have been in that situation before, got out, and found a wonderful man who was very happy to marry me and now we have 2 beautiful children. Everything happens for a reason and I'm grateful for that!!!!!!

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purplepenny

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December 21, 2006, 12:41 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: jojobeaner

If its "just a piece of paper" why not marry him? How would a piece of paper change how you love this man?

Well for one thing they cost $50...LOL (At least it did when I got married here over 7 years ago.)

And if the piece of paper WON'T change it for her then what is the point? Why bother?

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