Message Boards

Home

Message Boards

Topic : 12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Number of Replies: 684

New Messages This Week: 0

Last Reply On:

Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:20:09 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 09/26/06) It’s do or die for the men today, as their partners tell them to either walk down the aisle or walk the highway! Tony and Mary have dated for 12 years, and have been engaged for eight. Mary wants to set a wedding date, but Tony says even after all these years, he’s not ready and still feels pressured to tie the knot. Does Tony fear getting married or getting married to Mary? Then, Rosanna has been dating her boyfriend, Dennis, for almost five years and says she’s tired of “playing house.” Dennis maintains that he told Rosanna from the start he didn’t want to get married. Should they just throw in the towel and move on? Plus, Robin shares some relationship tips, and the women finally take a stand and issue ultimatums for their men! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More December 2006 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

( Subscribe to this Topic )

amandamc24

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 12:57 am PST

6 yrs here

oh my gosh ive been with my "husband" i call him my husband as he does me his wife because we have been together 6 yrs and we have 2 small children...well after 6 yrs we finally just picked out my ring for christmas how exciting. now i joke about how it took me 6 yrs to get my ring now it'll take 11 to get married. but i can see his point to. he always say "Do you know many happily married people ?"and you know what no not many because they think they are in love and then 3 years down the road kids in the picture its not working out for them and divorce is the first thing that comes to mind. But honestly i think it wont take me that long to get him down that isle...me and him have been through thick and thin and for better or for worse now and well its not going to change the only thing that is holding us back right now is the money situation and well for now i am very happy with my ring my kids and our relationship because as long as you love each other and are happy and supportive and caring of each other does that piece of paper that legally makes you married that important....material wise sure as a girl watching cinderalla important but realistically no cause i think more stress on the relationship is making it worse right now. good luck and i hope you get your dreams fulfilled but your love should be stronger than ever even if you dont have that wedding.

Read Replies to this Message

amandamc24

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 1:04 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: jojobeaner

If its "just a piece of paper" why not marry him? How would a piece of paper change how you love this man?

why do u need a piece of paper to say married. like i put on my post...ive been with my "husband" 6 yrs but were not legally married...i dont need that paper to tell me i love him anyways...as a women yeah it would nice to have that day but whatever.

Read Replies to this Message

nscrchick

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 2:25 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

I had told my boyfriend that if he didn't ask me to marry him soon (this has been quite a while ago) I wouldn't marry him when he did ask me. I said I love you and I won't leave you, but I figured there was no point in getting married if we had already been living together forever. Apparently he agreed!!

Read Replies to this Message

heyjude25

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 5:33 am PST

He's not into you

These two ladies have alot invested into these realtionships. They need to love themselves before they get involve in any relationship. They need to look at what they stand for and decide that they are worthy of being treated like queens. They need to be strong and not let anybody use them as door mats like they are. Good luck in your futures. Heyjude25 at heart

Read Replies to this Message

gwarrior6

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
happy

December 21, 2006, 6:20 am PST

Your point?

Quote From: blonde_chick

I find it annoying when others say "God wants you to do this". You do not know that for sure, you really do not. Living together before marriage has got to be one of the smartest ways to go about it. Of course not for EVERYONE, some people will disagree of course. It is important to do what is right for YOU and your partner. But it seems these days we have evolved, and evolving is fantastic. Change is a good thing, it helps us grow and mature. People who cannot see that have very closed minds. Not living together before marriage is a thing of the past. We have evolved to recognize that moving in together and then getting married if both people see fit, is definitely the way to go.

What if you get married and once you are living together you cannot stand eachother? I'm not talking about minor problems that can be solved, or even major problems that can be solved. You could realize you've made an awful mistake. Why not realize that before you walk down the isle? Be smart! Check out your options before marriage.

I'm not saying everyone should live together before marriage. I just don't think it's right to say that that is wrong "according to God". I don't care if you do not live together before, so you should not care if I do.

Don't even get me started on the "no sex before marriage" nonsense. Wow. I can't even imagine how many people get married only to realize there is nothing there physically....

Anyway, do what is right for you, but saving big events until after marriage, in my opinion, is asking for trouble.

I was responding to another poster about her approach to another poster.

I wasn't being accusatory. I have a right to believe and you have a right not to. The person i was responding to was giving a long sermon to this lady which i don't think would have helped her in any way.l

So, i'm not sure if you were addressing me, or what your point was if you were....

Read Replies to this Message

bearfeet1974

User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 6:55 am PST

Single but not Miserable

I was in the same situation until I kicked HIM to the curb 2 years ago! We were together for almost 8 years with no prospect of ever walking down the aisle. I bought the house, paid all the bills and made it easy for him to stay. But when I turned 30 and realized that I wasn't getting any younger - I told him that I had had enough. Even though I am not happily with someone else - I don't have to agonize over the when will this go somewhere feelings.....There comes a time when you just have to do what's right for YOU.

Read Replies to this Message

jettav

User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 7:08 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: sherij11251

this is me wanting an answer to my dilemna. can anyone take a moment to try to give me their perspective.

Well, you kick him out and he refuses to go, tells you that he has a surprise for you but have you received that surprise yet? "We teach people how to treat us" and as long as you kick him out, but not follow through and as long as you accept his response that he has a surprise but you never resceive it, (that is called manipulation, by the way) you are not even gonna come close to being fullfilled.

It is one thing for BOTH in the relatioship to want or not want the marriage committment, but another when one wants it and the other doesnst, something has to give and when one is manipulated into believeing what they want just so the other can have his/her way, that is NOT love and committment in any way, shape or form, it is nothing but greed and selfishness.

I know that going your seperate ways for a bit can either make or break the relationship but if your boyfriend wants to be with you, it will happen, if not, it wasn't meant to be. Manipuation is not the way to go and it sounds to me like you are being manipuated and if this is the case, you will never be all that happy, even if he does marry you, do not be caught up into being pleased so he can have his way, it's wrong.

Read Replies to this Message

jettav

User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 7:11 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: sherij11251

this is me wanting an answer to my dilemna. can anyone take a moment to try to give me their perspective.

you are being manipulated and he is getting his way with you even though are not happy. Why do you keep taking him back knowing that you are not going to ge tthe committment, sounds like you are very co-dependent ont his guy and that is nota good thing for you, seek help, and follow through with your instincts.............................

Read Replies to this Message

jettav

User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 7:16 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: amandamc24

oh my gosh ive been with my "husband" i call him my husband as he does me his wife because we have been together 6 yrs and we have 2 small children...well after 6 yrs we finally just picked out my ring for christmas how exciting. now i joke about how it took me 6 yrs to get my ring now it'll take 11 to get married. but i can see his point to. he always say "Do you know many happily married people ?"and you know what no not many because they think they are in love and then 3 years down the road kids in the picture its not working out for them and divorce is the first thing that comes to mind. But honestly i think it wont take me that long to get him down that isle...me and him have been through thick and thin and for better or for worse now and well its not going to change the only thing that is holding us back right now is the money situation and well for now i am very happy with my ring my kids and our relationship because as long as you love each other and are happy and supportive and caring of each other does that piece of paper that legally makes you married that important....material wise sure as a girl watching cinderalla important but realistically no cause i think more stress on the relationship is making it worse right now. good luck and i hope you get your dreams fulfilled but your love should be stronger than ever even if you dont have that wedding.

Marriages are not happy because the couple chooses not to love, respect, honor,a nd cherish the other. They choose to go theri own ways and allow other things/people to interfere. There are happy marriages in this society but unfortuanelty the media only wants us to see the negative ones therfore people are discouraged and scared of the marriage committment, well, I am here to say, marriage is awesome and I would encourage anyone who is in love to go for it and work together and not go running out hte door when times get tough, that's the easy and wimpy way out and doesn't make things any better, one will just drag their baggage onto another realtionship and run from the tough times again.................................................

Marriage is beautiful and worth the plunge, but only for those who want it to work and believe in themselves as as couple.

Read Replies to this Message

jettav

User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote

December 21, 2006, 7:21 am PST

12/20 Marry Me or Else!

Quote From: nscrchick

I had told my boyfriend that if he didn't ask me to marry him soon (this has been quite a while ago) I wouldn't marry him when he did ask me. I said I love you and I won't leave you, but I figured there was no point in getting married if we had already been living together forever. Apparently he agreed!!

Of course he agreed with you, he knew if he waited long enough, you wouldn't do it and he would still have you, he had nothing to lose.

Read Replies to this Message

First | Prev | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | Next | Last

Recent Shows: Dr. Phil Family Returns: ... | Cut the Cord | "Will My Mother-in-Law De... | Shocking School Sex Abuse... | P.I. Moms: The Truth Behi...