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Topic : 11/23 Love Scams?

Number of Replies: 922
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Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:23:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 09/28/06) It begins on a dating Web site with flattering e-mails and IMs with handsome photos attached. The man pours on the charm and soon professes love, but he needs money -- to pay medical bills, fund investments and, most importantly, to get back home to the States and finally meet his long-distance love. Is his love for real, or just an elaborate con? Despite being taken for thousands of dollars in bogus money orders, Dee-Dee believes the man she knows as Cole just needs to get home from Nigeria to make good on his debts and marry her. Then, Annette is sure she's being deceived by a man who claims to be a contractor in Africa, but that doesn't stop her from sending him money. Have these women really fallen in love or just fallen for an international scam? Share your own online dating stories and talk about the show here.

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September 24, 2006, 8:21 am CDT

E-mail addresses

 

It's unfortunate, but there are people on-line who do nothing but gather addresses. They are paid for each fresh one they dig up. Those lists are then used by scammers to mass e-mail, hoping someone will bite on thier scam.

The others pop up in chat rooms, on dating sites and message boards.....most are looking for one thing. Someone to scam. Seems that if they pish long enough, someone will eventually fall for thier sob story and start handing out the cash.

One reason so many are from Nigaria is our laws dont effect them, they are out of reach. They also have the idea, or so it seems, that Americans are all rich and stupid !

Ill almost lay you odds that if you are chatting up someone on line who is looking for money, you wont be the only one he/she is telling the same stories.

All you really can do is protect yourself. If  it seems a bit "odd" in some way..either in e-mail or in person...run, dont walk !

 

BJ

 
September 24, 2006, 10:25 am CDT

It's such a pity.

I'm really surprised that people are still falling for tricks like this in this day and age we are in.please ladies get up from your slumber and realise you are in for a big ride.There are no men in whatever place seeking to rehabilitate or make a home or whatever stories you are being told .You are being scamed and if you don't quit now the next step would be for you to go over the country and i bet you ,you would not come back alive.The earlier you quit now the better for you
 
September 24, 2006, 11:24 am CDT

Love and suspicion

I got scammed by someone because they are praying on women who have been hurt but still want to trust that a man can be honest.  They can be very comforting and restore your faith in people.  I did actually cash the money orders he sent but after leaving the bank and him pushing very hard for me to do everything immediately.  Luckily Walmart has very low limits on how much money can be wired at once.  This got me investigating on the internet and found a big warning on MoneyGrams site about cashing counterfit American Express checks.  Unfortunetly American Express needs to open an investigation before they can discover a check is counterfit.  I thought that the bank should be able to pick this up when they cash them.  Unfortunetly it actually takes weeks for them to discover and by then you have sent them the money.  I returned the money to the bank, called the police and american express and opened my own investigation.   I will hopefully get the $150 in fees from the bank for the uncashable moneyorders after I give them the police report.  The police said that they will never be able to catch the people responsible because they cover their trail.  I worry that this is putting money into terrorists hands.

 

Does it mean I will never love or trust again.  No, I will just screen everyone as if they are suspect.  I also would put aside my pride and have things investigated before they go to far.  If I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I will stop and investigate why. 

 
September 24, 2006, 1:08 pm CDT

From a man......

I too was scammed about a year ago by someone purporting to be a young woman from Ghana. Fortunately I was only scammed out of $300. The heartbreak was much worse. Due to my Criminal Justice background, I was able to find out the truth of what was happening to me. The authorities, both here and in Ghana, know that this is a huge problem. I am married now to a wonderful woman from here (Florida), and very happy. Her friend Karen was hit on by a scammer with the money order scenario too. She declined to help this individual. These scammers steal pics from modeling sites, and can be very good at what they do. Yahoo messenger is a favorite vehicle, as are the free dating sites. The one that I used, and was a huge nest for these vermin, was MegaMatch. It took quite a while to convince them to do something about it. As far as I know they have taken steps to stop this abuse. If you have questions about possible scammers, check with the U.S. Embassies in each country the scammer may be from. Also alert the authorities in those countries, as maybe they can set up a sting. Just never, and I mean never, send money or take it in any form from those vermin. Like it was posted above, stay with church and/or local singles groups.
 
September 24, 2006, 1:17 pm CDT

If he asks for money, RUN!

I thought that almost everyone knew if you give or lend money to someone, male or female don't expect to get it back. Why in the world would you send money to a stranger? It just doesn't make sense. If it walks like a snake and talks like a snake? To be that desparate, and believe me, I've been desparate at times, but I would never give a man money! What are you thinking girl?

I do online dating via match.com and have never had a man ask me for money. I too have had those stupid emails saying that you have an inheritance etc. I guess a lot of us don't watch the news or read the newspaper to find out about all the Nigerian scams that there are out there.

I wouldn't even consider dating a man who didn't have a job, let alone, lend money.

And as far as long distance relationship go, can you really trust a man or woman for that matter in another state? There are plenty of players out there. I can't stand being alone, but I will not be used. People never cease to amaze me.

 
September 24, 2006, 1:40 pm CDT

So pathetic

My emote is sad because i feel sad for this women......i cant believe they are being scammed by these guys from Nigeria...I have heard all this before...and i almost got stung with it,...I was in touch, chatting with him  and  this guy is from Africa ...he evens sends me all  kinds of gift and suddenly he told me that he got all the necessary papers needed to come to America and just needs the money for his ticket and ask me to send $800.00 to him and i of course decline....because im not stupid and really not desperate to have a husband and send him money firsat of aLL...NO WAY......if he can send me all these gifts why cant he get a ticket...This guy even told me his mother was in the hospital and needs money to pay for hospital bills and i told him i cant help him, i cant even send enopugh money for my son in prison so why on earth should i send money to these guys that i dont know from jump street....i wish i can come to Dr. Phil show and tell them what is really going on...It was not only one men that has ask me this...the firsat time they get in touch with, they are in love all of a sudden...IMPOSSIBLE... what fool will believe of men that falls in love in two ghours of chatting...I don't...Im no fool....So if you are reading this Dr. Phil...those women are getting rip off...there is no marriage, no men...they can even show pictures of a white men...I was just in contact with one person from Nigeria just a week ago and i told him straight up i dont like national of Nigeria (although he said he is just a contractor working in Nigeria) i told him about their scams of the Nigerian nationals and beliebe it or not he stop chatting with me.,..So you know what that means...Im a straight up woman, i tell like it is, they can not out smart me, although all that MONEY THEY TALKING ABOUT SOUND TOO GOOD BECAUSE I COULD REALLY USE YTHE MONEY TOO TO GO LOOK FOR MY MISSING DAUGHTER in the Philippines since 1977, but i dont get scammed by this scambags, because i know and the FBI had send me a letter about these people....i hope these woman learn their lessons not to commubnicate with these scammers from Nigeria...I have guys i talk to in Ghana too but they are totally different.....in years i know this person he hasn't ask for a penny, in FACT I TOLD HIM TO SEND SOME AFRICAN BEADS AND MUDCLOTH OR KENTE FOR ME TO SELL HERE IN HAWAII, and we had exchange post mails since...I receive them beadsa and sold them and send him the payment for it...He sends me the beadsa upfront without paying for them in advance....SO ladies, need to to really careful and dont believe any of their lies...Wish you all lucks....
 
September 24, 2006, 1:51 pm CDT

09/28 Love Scams?

Quote From: lpetro72

I got scammed by someone because they are praying on women who have been hurt but still want to trust that a man can be honest.  They can be very comforting and restore your faith in people.  I did actually cash the money orders he sent but after leaving the bank and him pushing very hard for me to do everything immediately.  Luckily Walmart has very low limits on how much money can be wired at once.  This got me investigating on the internet and found a big warning on MoneyGrams site about cashing counterfit American Express checks.  Unfortunetly American Express needs to open an investigation before they can discover a check is counterfit.  I thought that the bank should be able to pick this up when they cash them.  Unfortunetly it actually takes weeks for them to discover and by then you have sent them the money.  I returned the money to the bank, called the police and american express and opened my own investigation.   I will hopefully get the $150 in fees from the bank for the uncashable moneyorders after I give them the police report.  The police said that they will never be able to catch the people responsible because they cover their trail.  I worry that this is putting money into terrorists hands.

 

Does it mean I will never love or trust again.  No, I will just screen everyone as if they are suspect.  I also would put aside my pride and have things investigated before they go to far.  If I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I will stop and investigate why. 

No the money dont really get to the terrorist....i have a guy i used to chat with from Nigeria and was telling me that his friend received $300.00 from his gurlfriend and is then spending it buiying clothes and everything they never have....they get money from unsuspecting wqomen and just be spending it on their family (who knows many their wife and CHILDREN).....i was always aware of this scams that they do, yeah they had send me xchecks before to cash for them and the check cashing place here in Honolulu, caught up with it and even send my name to the FBI and in returen the FBI send me a list of these examples of scams that these Nigerians do.....Nigerians scams on older American women that are desperate to have man from exotic lands and if they tell you they already love you in that one day of xchatting with you......YOU KNOW THERE IS SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT IT....LOL who on earth falls in love with someone in an hour or days without even meeting this person...I feel for you sis...that you have been scammed...dont accept Nigerians as A PEN PAL OR INTERNET FRIEND...THEY ARE SCAMBAGS.... 

 
September 24, 2006, 3:01 pm CDT

Love Scam

This has just happened to me twice in the past 2 months.  I was suspisious enough to not fall for either one.  This was on a Christian based web site.  Both men talk the pretty talk and professed their undying love for me after the first IM saying they fell in love with me at first site of my picture.  To me that was a huge clue that something was not right.  Soon they had a sad story, then they needed money.  One said he was in Ireland needing to get his paycheck cleared in an American bank so he could get home sooner to meet his one true love, me.  I refused 3 times before he quit trying.  The second said he was an engineer working on a 3 week project in Africa.  He said how God had told him I was the woman for him and that fate had put us together on the net and he could not wait to get home to meet me and have me meet his son.  Soon he told me he was robbed at gun point in a taxi and thrown from the moving car.  He wanted money for medical expenses.  When told no, he later asked again saying he needed money to get his 6 year old son back to the states to get him started in school.  When I said no again, he even asked me to cash in investments or get a loan to send him money.  I reported this to the web site with no response.  I have kept some of the IM's as proof.  I heart goes out to the women who believe these smooth talking slime.

 

 
September 24, 2006, 7:13 pm CDT

thought it was love

Quote From: lpetro72

I got scammed by someone because they are praying on women who have been hurt but still want to trust that a man can be honest.  They can be very comforting and restore your faith in people.  I did actually cash the money orders he sent but after leaving the bank and him pushing very hard for me to do everything immediately.  Luckily Walmart has very low limits on how much money can be wired at once.  This got me investigating on the internet and found a big warning on MoneyGrams site about cashing counterfit American Express checks.  Unfortunetly American Express needs to open an investigation before they can discover a check is counterfit.  I thought that the bank should be able to pick this up when they cash them.  Unfortunetly it actually takes weeks for them to discover and by then you have sent them the money.  I returned the money to the bank, called the police and american express and opened my own investigation.   I will hopefully get the $150 in fees from the bank for the uncashable moneyorders after I give them the police report.  The police said that they will never be able to catch the people responsible because they cover their trail.  I worry that this is putting money into terrorists hands.

 

Does it mean I will never love or trust again.  No, I will just screen everyone as if they are suspect.  I also would put aside my pride and have things investigated before they go to far.  If I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, I will stop and investigate why. 

    she thought she had actually found an honest man. my aunt is an amazing person who shouldn't be treated with such disrespect. the man she married was so nice and funny. my aunt who just got a degreee in criminal justice noticed odd behaviors and some very interesting patterns happening. when she would get ready to leave for work he would light candles.also my aunt loves to put pictures up of her family, she would notice when she got home  from work that all of the pictures of her were not dusty like they had been moved....but all the other pictures of her husband and his family were still dusty. when she would go to sleep at night he would leave because the gas had gone down each time she was in the car. he also told her that these pair of sunglasses he got were 40$ but she found the check and they were 400$. oh and she went on my space and looked at his profile and it said 40 and SINGLE....those were just some helpful clues to help you tell if someone you love is cheating on you

 

      and for the person that asked if they should ever love or trust again um you shold not give up your trust you have for people because 1 jerk messed it up ... there are plenty of good guys out there that shouldn't suffer for what someone else did. don't don't make everyone out to be a suspect either because you could easily scare away a good man

 
September 24, 2006, 9:38 pm CDT

Lying Pondscum!!!

I got one of these Nigerian scammers about a year ago.

Now I have to say I've been on a number of dating sites, and my profile still is on 2, and never had come across this before. I found for me, that I met lovely men on match.com but alot were from far away, as well as several other sites.

Had a lovely trip to meet one, he paid, and met a few from and in Toronto or Michigan, but nothing permanent. On Yahoo personals I was finding alot more local men and had some fun dates.

Out of the blue, this handsome black man from NYC contacted me and started emailing me. I was taken aback as I clearly was looking for someone close by and didn't have my net cast that wide. Why was he looking for someone in Northern Ontario??? He said he just ran a wide search and my picture came up.....feasible.

So we had alot of emails come back and forth, and after about a month he convinced me to add him to Yahoo messenger. Then he went into courting full steam. He said he was an educated engineer, had a partnership, and they did alot of work for builders in NYC and lately some oil companies. He didn't have a cam but insisted I turn mine on.......then he was off on how gorgeous, beautiful I was ......ya ok?

He always referred to me as his queen, as his mother had worked for the cultural ministry in Nigeria before moving to the US for school.

 

I will say here his English was perfect both written and grammar, and no mistakes.

Everything he said for 2 months made sense and I had no reason to doubt him.

I checked all 3 of his emails, his home address in NYC and all were what he said.

 

Then I was going to Toronto on business and invited him to pop over from NYC for dinner. He dragged his feet for a few days about this, then said he couldn't go as he couldn't afford it? What it's like $99 to Toronto from NYC?

Well actually he wasn't in NYC right now he was off the coast of Africa on an island working on pipelines for an oil company. (I checked the island did exist and Exxon has interests there)

Of course I asked why he never came up with this before that he wasn't in NYC but Africia, well he knew I had a problem with the distance of a few states knew I'd have a bigger problem with the distance to Africa.

 

Boy he did have an answer for everything, and to put my doubts down a notch but unfortunately I have a low trust of men.

 

Anyway, a few days later all of a sudden he starts pressuring me to send him $300, he needed it to fly home. He had $800 but couldn't get to his money as it was in NYC.....well what about his sister and mother. Oh doesn't bother his mother for anything and sister is just getting by......well so am I ......and where did this character come from? Even asking me for money. Was never like that before. I definitely had the feeling that someone was pressuring him to pressure me. No nothing like that.

This went on for several days until I just planed tired of it. I was after all in contact with other potential dates and this was just getting annoying even tho he professed his love etc. So I went invisable and didn't talk to him. He kept sending emails, leaving IM's and I didn't bite......until he said he wanted to tell me the truth.

Ok I came on what is the truth. He turned on a webcam.......he was black but not the guy in the pictures. Who was that? Some model. But see this is me and I still love you I just have a different face.

Wait I noticed the clothes....the room.....where are you? In an internet cafe'. So where is your laptop? You don't have one do you? No.....and the job in NYC, the loft, the family in the states?

Well had the family but in Nigeria. Could not understand my anger and tears over this lie.

But as I reminded him it wasn't 1 lie it was all lies.

 

Why me?

He told me, there was a group of these young students, or guys who just worked in local factories, who cruise the personals, looking for women, maybe a little pump, or not entirely gorgeous but pretty. Someone maybe who has been on there awhile.....or they are new and don't word their ad too great. They know she is lonely and maybe vunerable.

Why me? Well he honestly liked how I looked and dreamed of moving to Canada and living with me then marrying me, and if I would just send some money, he could still work others but be honest with me???

Are you nuts??? You couldn't even handle the cold let alone me!

I verbally blew a gasket and I told him never to contact me again.

 

I left him on my list while I contacted both Yahoo and Yahoo personals. At first I got a form email from them then I did get a response where they did delete all 3 of his emails and his ad on the personals (3 of them) and blocked his ISP. Hopefully this would protect a few more women.

I sent him (as did my best friend) a slamming last email and let him respond....once then blocked and deleted him forever from my life.

 

Not to long after a local girl got caught in the money order scam with again guys from Nigeria and she got nailed with fraud and had to serve 6 months of weekends at the local jail.

 

This year I joined myspaces.com and within the first 2 weeks I must of had 10 guys and 1 girl from Nigeria (in a form email to a guy yet??) contact me. I told them not interested and blocked them. Then put on my profile for Nigerians to go away and I would not contact anymore. Funny my mail has slowed right down....LOL

 

I have noticed there they all push for you to go to Yahoo or Hotmail messenger.....so they can get your email.......I haven't figured out why yet. But I do know several friends who have had their Yahoo email/account hijacked and Yahoo cant get them back in for some reason? I wonder if this has anything to do with that.

 

End of the story, I'm still dating. A man from nearby wants to move things to the next level.....we'll see.

 

Always be cautious, don't give out personal addresses. Your email account you can delete and change but your live and money you can't recover.

Don't put these ladies down I think alot never saw this coming and are just honest and naiive. They aren't deseparate just too trusting.

 

Remember ladies, trust is earned not a given!

 
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