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Topic : 09/29 Wedding Dos and Don'ts

Number of Replies: 116
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Created on : Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:25:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Planning the wedding of your dreams can quickly turn into a nightmare. What is supposed to be a bonding experience between moms and daughters often turns into a battleground over everything from money to cake! Kristina and her mom, Cheri, know this all too well. Kristina says her mom’s lies are tearing their relationship apart, and if things don't change, she's uninviting her to the wedding! Will Cheri learn honesty is the best policy, and walk beside her daughter down the aisle? Then, get a front-row seat and behind-the-scenes look at the most special day in Dr. Phil and Robin's life: Jay's wedding. See the preparation, the ceremony and the huge celebration. Plus, the surprise gift of a lifetime from Jay's younger brother, Jordan, and the unique ideas that made this day one the McGraw's will treasure forever. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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September 29, 2006, 11:15 am CDT

wow my eyes drifted on me when i was reading your post

Quote From: tinytimm4

 Dr. Phil and guest, My daughter Maureen will be married today September 29, 2006 to the man she loves. Like a great mother I am, I let her do what she wanted as far as all the plans were.  was told by many family members that my daughter should have written no gifts please for her second marriage on the invites. I felt that this was rude and so many family members are choosing not to attend. I feel this is fine, I want my daughter to be happy and if a chuch wedding is what she wants she should have what she wants. Maureen didn't have the church wedding first time.. David and Maureen were married in 2001 in a outdoor ceremony and now they are getting married in a church. they have 4 small children. My husband family is the ones who complained about the first wedding and they are now complaining again the church one. It took 5 years for the church wedding to happen due to the priest didn't want to marry a Catholic member to  a non Cathoic member. We over came it,My advise to all couple is DO WHAT YOU WANT IT'S YOUR DAY NO ONE ELSES. DON'T LET FAMILY PUSH YOU AGAINST EACH OTHER. IF THEY COME TO IT FINE, IF NOT SO BE IT.  THIS IS YOUR DAY ENJOY IT..... I SPENT $3,000 IN GIVING MY DAUGHTER JOY ON HER DAY .IF MY HUSBANDS FAMILY DON'T LIKE IT THEY CAN EAT CROWWWWWWWW...... GOOD LUCK TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED....
i see your daughter is just renewing her vows so to speak im sorry i over looked whear she is just redoing her marrage but in a church this time, but it still goes if guest wish to bring a gift its thear choice, and as far as it being a church wedding , im sure god will be very glad to see them both in his house and will welcome them with open arms, and will be joyed to see 4 children in his house by them as well, sounds like she has found her sole mate god bless you and her family, and they should renew thear vowes as many times as they wish, god loves to share his love, and i think they have felt it in thear hearts good luck on the wedding today, and dont let any one spoil it for any of you, go make some happy memories,!!!!!
 
September 29, 2006, 12:32 pm CDT

09/29 Wedding Dos and Don'ts

Quote From: cheriwork

To all of those people that will watch my daughter Krissy and I on the show to air on Sept 29,  I want people to know that I have been the best Mother that I could possibly have been.  There have been things that have been done on both sides, I am not an abusive Mother and I am not a Liar, there comes a time when you just have to say yeah yeah because the money at times that has been alocated for the wedding has not been used for wedding things.  My children have been given everything that they could possibly been given, and when they donot get what they want they call me names and belittle me until they get what they want.  Our daughter will have a beautiful wedding and hopefully a beautiful married life,  I had hoped that the show would help let her know that calling names and screaming at me is not the way to get things done or what you need.  The people that know me think that I am crazy because I have given and given and done without many times to do for our children.  Of our children were abused trust me it would have been justified not that abuse is ever justified in any way but they donot respect me my son asked me today what I was going to do with my life and I told him keep picking up after you kids and I asked him what he was going to do with his life and he told me " wait til you die so I can get your insurance money so hurry and die".  My children donot respect me and they feel that if they call me names and get me upset they will sooner or later get what they want because they will hurt my feelings until I cave in.  Know that there is nothing I would not do for anyone that needs help but know that I have been the best Mother that I could be.  After this I donot even know if I want to go to the wedding my heart is broken as it has been for many times.  I had hoped that Dr. Phil would have explained to our Daughter that you have to expect things to be done but not belittle or shame someone into doing or giving things that you want, unfortunately I look like an evil person and that is not me.  Every parent should realize donot give your children everything they want as they are growing up because it will come back to bite you.  My children are my life and a true gift from God and I couldn't Love them anymore .  Dr. Phil is a wonderful man and a brilliant man and helps many people he is a godsent and he and his family and staff are all great I am going by the book as to what he told me although this is very hard I am not going to let him down but I alway's get the blame for anything that can go or has gone wrong anything in history that has been done I know I am to blame for it.  If these kids think that tying the knot was tough wait until they learn the ropes.  My husband and I have been married for 26 years didn't have a Honeymoon and it took me 36 years to even get to Disneyland our first vacation and our Children even followed us there we have not ever had a vacation to ourselves but our Children have seen the world, so donot give your Children everything they want so they will never be sad  it only creates monsters of adults.  I am sure that our Daughters wedding will be great and a beautiful day.  I am sure that everyone will know how wonderful it is but please dont judge me from the show I am not that bad  of a person just a loving Mother.

Thank you so much for your post. I haven't seen the show yet, but, thanks to your post, I'll be able to watch with a more open mind. Too bad you didn't have a "Dr Phil" in your life years ago to warn you about over-indulging your children. He's had many parents, ot teenagers who've been spoiled by their over-indulgence, wanting his help. Almost too late! He usually tells these parents that over-indulgence is child abuse. Because it doesn't prepare their children for adult life in the real world. Even if you have spoiled your children, it doesn't make your son's attitude right. You don't have to leave him anything. Change your will. And, your insurance policy. I would!

 
September 29, 2006, 12:36 pm CDT

Are You Kidding???

Quote From: needfaith2

Our middle son just got married on August 12th, 2006...first time for both parties.  They are young, my son was 21 the wedding day, the bride is 25.  Both the bride, and my son the groom, are children of divorce.  I was stunned at the rehearsal when the father of the bride dead set refused to be even seen in the same pew as his ex wife.  These people have been divorced for about 13 years.  This man contributed nothing towards the wedding financially...I was embarrassed that he could act this way on  one of the most important days in his daughters life.

I didn't especially like sitting in a pew with my ex or having my photo taken with him, but for my son  and his happiness I did it.  Mind you this is man who slammed my head against a wall, abused my older son and forced me into bankruptcy and left me and two young children penniless.  But, for the sake of my son I will continue to "suck it up" and do right by my son. 

 

Her dad also refused to take a family type portrait picture...they had to take all separate photos.  My daughter in law cancelled the Father Daughter dance...therefore I lost out on the Mother Son dance too...but I couldn't blame her.  He then proceeded to pretty much hide in a corner at the reception....I did make sure the groomsmen made several trips back to his corner for contributions to the garter and dance fund...he did put in some money for that!!

 

It isn't about you....it is your child's day....we did contribute money to their wedding but I did set a budget very early of what we were going to give, what they did with it I did not care....there were no strings attached to it. 

 

When and if our other son marries he will be given the exact same amount of money...but my dog won't be in that fight either.  I can see where these "fights"arise, and I think the best way is to make sure all the parties understand way before hand what each is responsible for financially or whatever...if the wedding money you give your child is truly a gift type of thing you should have no say in how the money is spent...you don't control a gift!!

Are you kidding??  He abused one of your children and slammed your head against a wall and you "sucked it up" to appear in a picture as a happy family.  Sure hope that your son knows what a healthy marriage is all about.
 
September 29, 2006, 12:39 pm CDT

09/29 Wedding Dos and Don'ts

Quote From: tinytimm4

 Dr. Phil and guest, My daughter Maureen will be married today September 29, 2006 to the man she loves. Like a great mother I am, I let her do what she wanted as far as all the plans were.  was told by many family members that my daughter should have written no gifts please for her second marriage on the invites. I felt that this was rude and so many family members are choosing not to attend. I feel this is fine, I want my daughter to be happy and if a chuch wedding is what she wants she should have what she wants. Maureen didn't have the church wedding first time.. David and Maureen were married in 2001 in a outdoor ceremony and now they are getting married in a church. they have 4 small children. My husband family is the ones who complained about the first wedding and they are now complaining again the church one. It took 5 years for the church wedding to happen due to the priest didn't want to marry a Catholic member to  a non Cathoic member. We over came it,My advise to all couple is DO WHAT YOU WANT IT'S YOUR DAY NO ONE ELSES. DON'T LET FAMILY PUSH YOU AGAINST EACH OTHER. IF THEY COME TO IT FINE, IF NOT SO BE IT.  THIS IS YOUR DAY ENJOY IT..... I SPENT $3,000 IN GIVING MY DAUGHTER JOY ON HER DAY .IF MY HUSBANDS FAMILY DON'T LIKE IT THEY CAN EAT CROWWWWWWWW...... GOOD LUCK TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED....
my husband and i were married 4 yrs ago and we lived together for a few years before we got married.  we had everything household and ect that we needed and we didn't want gifts either.  so i went on line and asked an advisor and she helped me with a quote that i tweeked and put into our reception portion of the invite.  it went something like this..  your loving friendship and family support is our greatest gift no other is necesary.  something like that.  my maid of honer thought that quote was very unselfish of us and thought highly of it.  we did get some gifts.  but you can state what you want just choose the right words.   karen
 
September 29, 2006, 12:54 pm CDT

where was she?

I only caught the last few minutes of the show because I was busy but anyway, it's not that important but where was Oprah at Jay's wedding?

 
September 29, 2006, 1:11 pm CDT

Gracious Mother-of-the-Bride

What a wonderful wedding!  What I noticed, above all, was the graciousness demonstrated by the mother-of-the-bride.  The nation got a glimpse of what she endured. 

 
September 29, 2006, 1:12 pm CDT

What about Erica's parents

I watched the entire show today and was very happy for everyone.  I do wonder, however...what role did Erica's parents play in this event.  Traditionally the brides family contributes [and I don't mean financially] to the wedding and has a larger profile than that of the groom.  I just wondered if Erica's parents and family were part of the planning/decisions etc. or did the celebrity of the event slightly over-shadow their participation.

At any rate - a lovely event that the bride and groom obviously were thrilled about...best wishes for happines always.

 

 
September 29, 2006, 1:34 pm CDT

09/29 Wedding Dos and Don'ts

Quote From: quietstorm

I only caught the last few minutes of the show because I was busy but anyway, it's not that important but where was Oprah at Jay's wedding?

She was in Africa, overseeing a building project sponsored by one of her charities. I'm sure, with the McGraws' blessing. At least, that's what I think. The tabloids say Dr Phil was really upset with her for "blowing off" his son's wedding by going to Africa instead. But, I don't believe it. Dr Phil, Robin, and Oprah are very close. And, I'm sure she gave Jay and Erika her blessing. And, a very nice gift.
 
September 29, 2006, 1:36 pm CDT

Makings of a Good Mother-in-Law

Quote From: shenlee

I LIVE IN MICHIGAN AND MY ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER LIVES IN CHARLESTON SOUTH CAROLINA. SHE WILL BE MARRIED IN MICHIGAN SO WE ARE PLANNING HER WEDDING LONG DISTANCE. LOTS OF E-MAILS AND PHONE CALLS.  LIKE ANY MOM I WOULD LIKE THIS DAY TO BE PERFECT FOR HER.  I AM VERY FORTUNATE BECAUSE SHE AND I ARE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE.  WE ARE EVEN INCLUDING HER FIANCE'S MOM IN ALL THE PLANNING. AFTERALL THIS IS HER SON'S WEDDING ALSO.   MY DAUGHTER AND I HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP AND I CAN HONESTLY SAY WE HAVE NEVER HAD AN ARGUEMENT ABOUT ANYTHING. SHE IS A GREAT DAUGHTER AND NEVER GAVE US A MOMENTS WORRY.  I CANNOT IMAGINE MAKING THIS DAY MISERABLE FOR HER.  IT IS BEYOND MY REASONING TO EVER CALL MY DAUGHTER NAMES  THAT CAN NEVER BE TAKEN BACK.  I HOPE  WHEN HER WEDDING DAY ARRIVES. IT IS EVERYTHING SHE DREAMED OF .  I WILL DO MY  PART TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN. IT ONLY COMES ONCE AND I WANT MY DAUGHTER AND I TO LOOK BACK WITH ONLY GOOD MEMORIES.   I KNOW THE WEDDING DAY IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT,THE MARRIAGE IS BUT  SHE IS ENGAGED TO A WONDERFUL MAN WHO TREATS HER VERY WELL. I KNOW THEY WILL BE VERY HAPPY!!!

You will be a great mother-in-law!  If you saw the McGraw wedding on the show today, you will probably notice how gracious the bride's mother was.  She, like you, also included the groom's mother in the planning of the wedding.  Like her mother, the bride was also very gracious in sharing the spotlight on her big day. 

 
September 29, 2006, 1:50 pm CDT

Congratulations Erica And Jay

The Best Is Yet To Be

On your joyful wedding day,
You begin a brand new life.
Friends and family give their gifts
To joyful husband, blissful wife.

But the greatest gift you'll ever get,
A gift from heaven above,
Is love forever, ending never,
Everlasting love.

You'll share life's joy and pleasure;
You'll have plenty of that, it's true.
But love is the real treasure
For your new spouse and you.

And if life hands you challenges,
As it does to one and all,
Your love will hold you steady
And never let you fall.

You wedding day is full of joy;
Tomorrow you cannot see.
But one thing's sure for the two of you:
The best is yet to be.

By Joanna Fuchs

 

Robin and Dr Phil thank you so much for sharing your handsome son Jay and beautiful daughter In-law Erica's wedding with us .... it was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen.

 

 

And Robin you are so beautiful and I just loved the dress you wore : )

 
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