Hi everyone! It’s been a very long while since I have posted (almost a year) and things are different for me, not necessarily better or worse, just different.
I’ve been seeing a therapist every week, and in the last few months, have been going to a survivors group (for vitims of attempted murder). Today is less than a week away from the anniversary of that incident, and while I am not where I want to be emotionally and mentally, I'm father than I was the last time I posted.
I went back and read some of my old posts, and though I still think of my MM every so often, I don’t typically have the excruciating pain associated with the loss of our relationship that I had when I posted frequently. There are times when I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle, and at those times, I sometimes think of him and wish that he was here with me.
I have dated a few times, though I have always managed to cut and run before anything got too personal or too deep. Then, a few weeks ago, I met someone and have been on several dates with him. I realized that he possesses some of the same qualities that my MM possessed; the same qualities that I was sure I would never find again when our relationship ended. Even if nothing comes of it, it’s been an experience for me, knowing that there are indeed men out there with the qualities and values that I want, and who are at a point in their life where they are free to date without having a wife, a girlfriend, etc. It’s taken a long, winding road for me to get to the place where I can see and appreciate that, but at least I have finally found my way.
I hope his post finds everyone doing well… it’s nice to be able to come “home” every so often and check in.
Always,
Victoria
