Quote From: rebeccwiI am getting married on Saturday. It will be a 2nd marriage for him, but 3rd for me. The problem I am experiencing is that he and his family keeps up with his ex-wife and it bothers me. They do not have any children and don't talk directly with each other. Occasional emails that completed the divorce agreements. She initiated the divorce and moved across the country - that was 5 years ago. However he has kept up with her and tells me about any 'new' news that is passed along by his family. He has stated that because she was a part of this life for 10 years that he is interested in her and what she is doing with her life. I don't understand this and it really hurts. Several of his family members let him know that she is getting married this weekend and so are we and now it's a big discussion on how odd it is that they are getting married on the same weekend. Am I wrong to want him to let it go. He states that by me asking that - that I am asking him to forget his past, but I am asking for him to let go of her present and future. I did have issues in the past hearing about them and their life together, but it was only because he said that if she came into town he would want to meet her for dinner - just to catch up and see what was going on with her. I have children from my 1st marriage - and we both communicate with their father. However, my second marriage is not a subject. I do not have any communication with him. My family does not ask about him nor do I seek any information. Am I expecting too much? Am I wrong to feel this way. I just don't understand why he feels it is necessary for him to keep up with her.
I am with someone that was married to someone for 2 years and is now divorced. They were together 10 years. He was talking to her from time to time but that soon faded a few months after he started dating me. AND she was the one that would email him. Anyhow, his family is friends with her, even go partying together. That was hard at first but his family doesn't bring her up to him much and it will soon die out. He doesn't mind hearing that she is doing well. But other than that, he doesn't need to hear details of her life. And I agree. I too was married but I have children with him , so that is a totally different case. We have to talk to each but only about kids and it's maining in text messages and emails. So I never hide anything from my b\f.
You have every right to be upset about this. I would sit down with you new hubby and let him know this is disrespecting you and your feelings. The past is the past but your future is the most important than. So he needs to let go and he needs to speak with his family and let them know it's ok if they want to keep in tough with her. But you life and her life should not be discussed with you or with her. He needs to take charge of the situation now, before you become the outsider, that is not fair to you at all.