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Topic : The Other Woman

Number of Replies: 2963
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:04:06 pm
Author : dataimport
If you've been the other woman, find support here. General talk and debate about infidelity can be found in our Infidelity discussion.

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January 6, 2009, 12:47 pm CST

Will business trip be an excuse to be with other woman?

I know that my husband has had an emotional affair with a woman who works for the company. This has been going on since my husband joined the company 10 yrs ago. She was single but had a live in boyfriend and they were married 2 yrs ago and have 2 children together. This co-worker was sent on a business trip by the boss and my husband went too. For some reason my husband didn't tell me about her going on the trip. At the Christmas party-she told me she went on the trip and is hoping to attend the next business trip in Feb-09. My husband will also be going on that trip. I have a hunch she will go, because ever since the Christmas Party my husband has been the epitome of the "Best Husband in the World." If she goes on the trip and I find out about it-he can always say the Boss wanted her to go. I am not going to ask the Boss that question and my husband knows that.  Am I making too much of this?
 
January 7, 2009, 9:30 am CST

Absolutely not!

Quote From: vondrake

I know that my husband has had an emotional affair with a woman who works for the company. This has been going on since my husband joined the company 10 yrs ago. She was single but had a live in boyfriend and they were married 2 yrs ago and have 2 children together. This co-worker was sent on a business trip by the boss and my husband went too. For some reason my husband didn't tell me about her going on the trip. At the Christmas party-she told me she went on the trip and is hoping to attend the next business trip in Feb-09. My husband will also be going on that trip. I have a hunch she will go, because ever since the Christmas Party my husband has been the epitome of the "Best Husband in the World." If she goes on the trip and I find out about it-he can always say the Boss wanted her to go. I am not going to ask the Boss that question and my husband knows that.  Am I making too much of this?

From what you have said, I don't think you're making enough out of it.

If this has been going on for 10 years, it's highly likely there's more to the business trips than business.

If I were you, I would insist on going too. Watch your husband's reaction closely. I think it's high time you begin observing his actions more and listening to his words less.

 
February 12, 2009, 8:53 pm CST

strange relationship

I am involved with a guy who has a fiance and she knows he and I are seeing each other and approves. I have been seeing him for about 8 months. They have been living together almost 8 years. She is perfectly ok with our relationship. I have to explain why she approves of our involvment.  He is well endowed and she has trouble with this.  He has known this from the first time they were together. Yet he still loves her and she loves him.  I am not the first woman he has had sexual relations with, she knows all about the other women he was involved with.  He doesn't leave her because he loves her. He says everything is good with their relationship except the sex.  I don't understand this and he has said he doesn't either.  How can you love someone and have a sexual relationship with someone else.  He says he is with her for comfort I don't understand this either, what is with men and comfort? Want their cake and eat it too? He told me they were talking about sex and she said if anything happened to their relationship she would find another woman not a man.  I am so confused about our relationship and their's.  He tells me he loves me and i love him, but he also loves her.  He has even said he would marry me.  They had an argument and she told him he had to end it with me which he has and now we are both very depressed.  I have no idea why I am in this situation knowing he would always chose her over me.  They have the weirdest relationship I know of.  He would be angry if she ever fooled around on him saying she has the problem not me.  I guess i need someone to figure out their very weird relationship.  I am moving on very depressed and wondering at times why would i ever get involved in this????
 
February 17, 2009, 6:30 am CST

What does Dr Phil say?

Quote From: mladydi

I am involved with a guy who has a fiance and she knows he and I are seeing each other and approves. I have been seeing him for about 8 months. They have been living together almost 8 years. She is perfectly ok with our relationship. I have to explain why she approves of our involvment.  He is well endowed and she has trouble with this.  He has known this from the first time they were together. Yet he still loves her and she loves him.  I am not the first woman he has had sexual relations with, she knows all about the other women he was involved with.  He doesn't leave her because he loves her. He says everything is good with their relationship except the sex.  I don't understand this and he has said he doesn't either.  How can you love someone and have a sexual relationship with someone else.  He says he is with her for comfort I don't understand this either, what is with men and comfort? Want their cake and eat it too? He told me they were talking about sex and she said if anything happened to their relationship she would find another woman not a man.  I am so confused about our relationship and their's.  He tells me he loves me and i love him, but he also loves her.  He has even said he would marry me.  They had an argument and she told him he had to end it with me which he has and now we are both very depressed.  I have no idea why I am in this situation knowing he would always chose her over me.  They have the weirdest relationship I know of.  He would be angry if she ever fooled around on him saying she has the problem not me.  I guess i need someone to figure out their very weird relationship.  I am moving on very depressed and wondering at times why would i ever get involved in this????
Dr Phil repeatedly says he would rather be on his own than sick with somebody else.  You've taken up with this man because you are afraid to be on your own.  Dump this man whose story sounds far fetched to say the least and put up with the loneliness while you build a social life which will sustain you until a more suitable lover comes along.
 
May 14, 2009, 2:54 pm CDT

to the other women out there!

My husband had a affair with a coworker when he told her it was over he meant we went to counseling and got  over it. But the gal he made the mistake with couldn't move on, now for the last four years she has done everything possible to still be a part of are lifes even taking us to court, even though she has been remarried again and has a new husband for the last four years, why cant this pay in the ass just get over it move on there nothing for you here anymore. We just had are 24year wedd bliss party with each other and we are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
May 21, 2009, 12:24 pm CDT

Update, pls

Quote From: mrs_affair

I hate to see anyone in the same situation as I am in...it hasn't been an easy road I've taken.  My affair has left me hurt and feeling used.  I have finally figured out that us women think with one head and a man thinks with his other head!  Although I didn't fall in love with my OM I did have (and still do) have very deep feelings for him.  We haven't been together for a couple of months now and it is getting easier.  I still run into him at our kids school and we talk on the phone sometimes but we haven't been intimate.  When I do see him it brings back all the memories...good and bad.  I am just tring to focus on my huband and kids, and being the best wife and mom I can be and pushing any thoughts about HIM aside.  My advise to you is to end it now.  The longer you are with him, the more you will get hurt.  Run, don't walk away, now-- before you get too attached to him.  If you two are meant to be together, he will leave his wife.  If he is just using you for some temporary fun, you will fine out soon enough.  I believe I am hurting alot more that he is.  Men have a way of detaching themselves emotionally, and us women just get emotionally attached!  I hope you do find a way to cope with your situation without anyone getting hurt.  Good luck to you.
Your situation caught my eye, but I notice the date is from December 2005...I am wondering how you now are doing?  Have you been able to keep the distance from this OM even with your kids in school together and do you still talk to him?
 
May 25, 2009, 9:56 pm CDT

it came as a shock but I found out i was the OW

Quote From: silly_me

Your situation caught my eye, but I notice the date is from December 2005...I am wondering how you now are doing?  Have you been able to keep the distance from this OM even with your kids in school together and do you still talk to him?
I had been seeing this guy for about a year on and off and he became my first love.I realized I loved him after I noticed how much his actions affected me emotionally. Well, the new year was arriving and he had promised that this was going to be a great year for us and that our relationship would move on to the next level. Quite ironically and to my surprise, I got a phone call on New Year's Day. It was his girlfriend of nearly  3years. I can't even explain how that flipped my world around, I started shaking uncontrollably like I never had. I felt horrible and I was so disgusted in him that I literally felt nauseated and my stomach would not stop turning. He called like five times, texted me and basically begged for me to talk to him. When I decided I needed some sort of explanation I called him. He had said that she was the one in the way and that he wanted to be with me. Obviously I'm not stupid and understand that there was no engagement ring or lock that tied him to her, but I feel like a fool. I feel like I gave him everything and more meanwhile our relationship was a LIE?
 
June 5, 2009, 1:42 pm CDT

The Other Woman

Quote From: julianna123

My husband had a affair with a coworker when he told her it was over he meant we went to counseling and got  over it. But the gal he made the mistake with couldn't move on, now for the last four years she has done everything possible to still be a part of are lifes even taking us to court, even though she has been remarried again and has a new husband for the last four years, why cant this pay in the ass just get over it move on there nothing for you here anymore. We just had are 24year wedd bliss party with each other and we are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband has had affairs.... I think there might still be one going on.. I was wondering what did this other woman take your husband to court for?  The reason I am asking is my husband and I were apart for about 3 months and he kept asking me for about twenty five thousand  dollars. I don't know what for

 

Hope you reply

 
June 5, 2009, 1:54 pm CDT

The Other Woman

Quote From: ritehere

I'm going to apologize ahead of time for answering your question with a question, but it will help you to understand your situation.

What are you MOST afraid of about a possible call from this cheater's wife?

As a spouse of a cheater.  I would love for one of his love interest to rat him out!  Not because they would cause trouble but maybe end the pain a spouse is in wondering if a spouse is having a affair, even if it's only an emotional affair.  I would not be mad af the other woman but appreciate  the truth.

the truth will set you free.

 
July 1, 2009, 7:07 am CDT

for a protection order!

Quote From: maxwell55

My husband has had affairs.... I think there might still be one going on.. I was wondering what did this other woman take your husband to court for?  The reason I am asking is my husband and I were apart for about 3 months and he kept asking me for about twenty five thousand  dollars. I don't know what for

 

Hope you reply

She said my husband was following her, she is a tolded stalker, and mentally unstable, she remarried and still can not let go, we had to get attorney just to get her off are backs, even the courts thinks she is a whack job. They didnt believe anything she reported and it got dropped, she even went as far as to post flyers about my husband, she is totally pissed that she didnt get what she wanted, when I found out about the one nite stand, she repiled to to me with she sleeps with all kinds off married men and there wifes dont have a problem with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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