Topic : The Other Woman

Honey, your MM loves his wife.  There are always two sides to every story and I bet you haven't heard her side.  My MM was always honest with me about his wife.  I knew he loved her and I also loved my husband.  Neither of us wanted to be "found out".  Why we fooled around is still a mystery to me!  One thing I've learned is, it is very painful for everybody, especially the other woman.  I've lost alot of my self esteem and it sounds like you have too.  I hope we both can get it back.  My advise to you is to forget him, find someone who loves you, not just loves having sex with you.   

Thanks for your response. I do not doubt that he loves her but is he in love with her. They have had two children together and a life together. There is a history there. I know he is scared to walk away. I do not doubt that he is in love with me. I'm not sure that that is enough though. His kids and wife are pulling him back in and the longer he doesn't see me the more likely it will be that he stays. The thing is that she is on best behavior for now but she'll slide back to her old ways and he'll be left feeling unimportant again. Why would he allow this to happen again?  

I also am left feeling very competitive. It almost feels like I lost and she won. I know I shouldn't think of it in those terms but I do and it's a horrible feeling. It makes me want to call her and tell her all the things he told me about her. Why he was with me...how much better I was than her. The bottom line is that he is home with her and not me and that just SUCKS.  

For all the other women out there trying to deal with your situation,  read the book "guide to surviving life as a mistress"  Its not a book about staying the other woman,  its real life situations from the men and women that were involved in the situations and about all the things that are going on right now in your relationship.  I guarantee that some part of this book will be your relationship to a tee.  It does give wonderful advice on how to let go and move on and it gives you the truth of what the consequences are if you stay. 

I was the other woman for 4 years,  This book made me rethink alot of my decisions and help me get through some really tough times.    

You don't need him in your life.  Obviously he is not "well" because one minute he's okay with your guy's situation and then on a whim he's trying to give you a guilt trip. ?? He is playing head games it sounds like.  You can only get on with your life if that's really what you want to do.  For me... it took a while.  I told my other guy to back off and let me have some time to make decisions and it only lasted for so long.  Then of course later on everything exploded.  It's still hard to move on and I don't know that emotionally I have moved on.  He is still a part of my daily thought process (almost).  If you are married then maybe it's time to think and consider the real reasons you stepped out of your marriage.  And then work on making your marriage better so that you hopefully won't be tempted to do that again.  No matter whether this guy leaves you alone or not.  No matter what.. you have to be clear with what you want and you must tell him that and make it clear.  Don't leave room for misinterrpretations.  That will only cause you trouble and make room for more confusion and you don't need that.