Topic : True Love

Quote From: broken_boy

I'm back. Again. For the third time now.  One or two of you might remember me. I'm probably just speaking about ricschic here, but basically what happened is... Idunno what happened. I can't remember much of anything. There's no real thought that goes through me any more. Just a constant feeling of pain. I'm so helpless. So I tried killing myself last month. I mean, I should at least be able to control when I die, right? Wrong. The last thing I'd want to do is handicap myself or hurt somebody else when attempting to do it. So I thought about it seriously. I decided driving off this ravine on a highway near I lived with no seat belt in my car would be the way. So I woke up that morning, feeling refreshed, ready for the end. I called up the few family and friends that loved me and chatted with them one last time and took my little cousin out to lunch at IHOP. For the first time, I felt good. I had taken control and I wasn't going to look back. I was going to make it so it wasn't an obvious suicide. I didn't want everyone thinking ill of me. I used to think ill of people who did that too. How ignorant and self-righteous I was. So I go to drop my cousin off at her house literally minutes before I was going to drive to the highway, and upon turning onto the street she lives on, she reaches over my lap and turns off my car with the keys as a gag. When I tried restarting it, it wouldn't. As I tried to restart the damn thing, my car started rolling down the hill faster and faster. I tried everything. The brake and the e-brake locked up for some reason, along with the steering wheel. We rolled past her house continuing down the street, past an intersection, almost hitting a car, up the sidewalk and right into a tree in front of the school at 4:00 PM, right when school gets off. It was a (excuse my language) ******* miracle I didn't hit anybody. I started rolling slow, but I was going about 35mph towards the bottom of the hill. And there was kids everywhere. We hit the sidewalk, got a little air and sorta landed on top of the tree, knocking it over and into the fence, knocking that over too. We were both wearing our seat belts and nobody was hurt. I wasn't scared for myself at all, but the whole time I kept thinking, God, please don't let me hit anybody. Needless to say, the entire bottom of my car was totaled. And it ruined EVERYTHING! I was so mad! I can't even control when I'm going to die. Please, is there anything I can do? Anything I have a say in? The one thing in my life that matters, I just want back! Someone reply to me and just say 'yes, you can.' Tell me HOW!

Quote From: gary1162

hi everyone , im 42 year old husband, we have been married for almost 6 year in this comming february. i have been very stressed out in the past 2 months now, because my  wife ask for me to move out and wants a diviouse. that did not take me by surprise because 2 weeks before i finally started to wake up. and realize my marriage was in trouble. u see i have lived this marriage like my dad did, and never did anything with her kids or put it plainly never really was part of the family . i was always on the computer chatting with other people to relax after work, i know now i should have been relaxing with the family. sorry to jump around , mind is going crazy and dont know which way is up or down anymore . i really need some advice in what i should do here,,, let me explain what has happened after she told me that and what transprired before that outcome. i have been butt hole, i lose a job and i sit and wait till everything is in trouble before i find another. well that happened 3 times in the past and happened again . so thats 4 times , think i should of learned my lesson huh? of course not, im a man...sometimes i need a baseball bat to hit me before i wake up. well in the past 2 monthes i have found out that she has a boyfriend , she says no , but i have listin to her cell phone messages and realize that is true, he loves her and i believe in what he says on there , that she does too . i have done alot of changing in the past 2 months , i help clean ,cook ,wash clothes and iron them too . and being more active with the kids too. i just want to show her how much i love her and that i would like another chance in the marriage . i have a job now and working to pay the pills like a husband should . well im not looking for a treat or doggie treat in what im doing just want her to see i care for her and love her bunches. but she says she is not ready to accept anything i am doing . did i mention we do have sex (sex..not make love anymore), every once inwhile maybe once a week now verse every day like we did before . she says she does not love me anymore nor does she care for me ... but i am still trying anyhow . i love her very much . i really do .. when we have sex its great .. we dont have a problem in the bedroom, thank goodness for that . but some nites she just lays there and dont move, it breaks my heart going though this , really does . i asked her to tell him to step out of the picture right now and lets see if we have anything left to work on. she said she can ,,,,but wont....what does a husband do with that .. i could leave but i dont think that would solve anything , but push us away . i believe that she is my soul mate, we think alike , we know what the other is going to say before the other does . or do something before the other does it . i love everything about her , when she smiles it lights up the room , nothing else matters .  i miss my wife , i cant believe its over , i have changed alot and i have a deep feeling everything will work out , i hope. we have had our problems before where she would stop loving me and forget the past and try to love me and make this marriage work , but she said she cant do that anymore, fake it . i have never cheated on my wife , i have flirted alot but never cheated, except one time i hire a hooker to give me a b/j... it was more wondering then anything else , wondering if they did it better ,,,nope that is the answer there ..haha....but i never live that down either . i have made mistakes in the past i just want to make my wife happy again . what do i do ????? i know i am taking alot of sh..t right now , and paying the bills while she goes and does what every she wants ,, i also gave her space , she asked for it , suppose to give her space to think not be with him , but i dont think that is working either for me ......HELP SOMEONE

Quote From: ambric

I just want to say that I believe in true love. And I have found it. There is only one problem.......I'm married to someone else. No, I did not just go out and run into them somewhere. I happened before I was married. I have been married for four and a half years now, I found my true love 11 years ago. When I met him, we started out as just friends. THen one night, he kissed me and my whole life changed forever. THen we started seeing each other. a few months later, I found out I was pregnant. He stood by me for a while, then go scared. But he came back before our daughter was born. He was there for it all. Then one day I found out that he was cheating on me. Then, she became pregnant, so he married her. I hung on to him for so many years, I just couldn't let go and move on. I knew deep down that he loved me. Then on day, I met someone that I liked very much. We dated for a while, then a year later, we got married. He was a wonderful man. I loved him very much. He loved my daughter just as much also, which meant the world to me. My daughter took to him right away. Anyway, things were great for a while. Things were great for a while, then I got pregnant. We had a beautiful baby girl. Then one day, my past came knocking on my door. In a routine conversation with my first daughters father (my true love), he started talking about what a mistake he had made. He told me how much he loved me and how he always loved me, he was just too young and stupid to realize it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had waited for so long to hear everything he was saying. At that moment I had realized that I never did get over him, I just buried those feelings so far down that I didn't know they were there anymore. That was three years ago. We talk on a regular basis. That is pretty much all it is too, is talking with one another. A year ago, he got divorced. He doesn't pressure me about it though. We have actually tried stopping all of this many, many, many times. But everytime we do, it never fails, we always find out way back to each other. No one knows me better than he does. And vice versa. The complicated part is that I really do love my husband and don't want to hurt him. But, how do I know what the right decision for me is. I know without a doubt that M,that is what I will call my true love, is my soul mate. He feels the same way. He says he knows we are meant to be together. So, how do you decide who's happiness is more important: yours or the ones you love? That is the torment I am dealing with right now. Do I follow my heart? I have no idea. All I know is that I want to prevent as little hurt for my family as possible. So, I try not to talk to him as much. Yet, every day my heart aches inside. I am so torn between these two men. What to do, what to do???????????

Quote From: maikala

Please Please don't do any harm to yourself.  You have so much to give and receive.  Think about your cousin.  She holds a special time in her heart and mind from IHOP by YOU taking her there. Just remember the happiest moment might happen in a few seconds.  Find one good thing about your day begin with you have family, friends and they love you.  Think about the car occurance that day.  I believe God helped you at that time and moment and many time before.  I understand the feeling of helplessness, hopefulness, sadness, emptiness, just to mention a few.  Maybe Dr. Phil can help try emailing him.

God be with you

If you don't have a smile here is one of mine. : - )

Quote From: acceptwithjoy

I remember making almost identical plans to end my life the same way  years ago.  When you feel so hopeless that the only way out seems to end your life and thus, the horrible endless pain, killing yourself seems so sensible and logical.  But the problem is, when you feel that way, your brain is so clouded by negative chemicals--or rather starving for feel-good chemicals (natural, not artificial!), you can't really think sensibly or logically at all!  Looking back, I'm so glad a good friend was there to talk me out of it and call for help!  Otherwise, I never would have known the happiness I know today.  I would have forever scarred my son, making him a survivor of his mom's suicide--and robbed myself of the joy of watching him grow up.  Things eventually got better.  Not all at once: clinical depression is a deep, dark hole, and it's a long hard climb out!  But my husband got me to a good psychiatrist who assured me I wasn't crazy, just severly depressed and that fortunately, it was something treatable.  He gave me some meds, set up bi-weekly appointments with a therapist, and eventually, things DID get better.  The circumstances of my life didn't change-- but how I looked at them DID gradually change.  I learned to acquire the tools to help me with the negative self-talk that led to the negative self-esteem I had. 

 

So, please, don't end you life just yet.  You can always do that later.  Put it off long enough to give yourself--and the people you love and who love you-- another chance.  It won't be easy, and it might be expensive--but so is dying!  And your life is much more valuable and important that the bit of money you might have to spend to get the real help you need.  Let your family help you--you know the one or two you can trust.  Life CAN be good. 

 

I'm SO glad I chose to live.  Life is so good for me now.  I still have problems.  But I also have HOPE.