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Topic : True Love

Number of Replies: 1117
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:04:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you believe in true love? How about love at first sight? Is it possible to cheat on someone you love? Can true love die? Tell us what you think!

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March 28, 2008, 9:31 am CDT

TRUE LOVE

Quote From: itsonlyme

I want you to know that I feel love is wonderful, but what about the man you stood in front of God with and promised fidelity?  Cheating is wrong, to put it in a nutshell.  Lets put it this way, what if you found out your husband was in the same situation with another woman?  I venture to say that you would be crushed.  You are a woman who has successfully raised beutiful children with the man you have promised an eternity.  And in my opinion, marriage is like an insurance policy.  You join when you are young and crazy, learn who you are and how to live as a couple through life, and the reward is living your retirement and growing old knowing someone will always be there. 

Do you think you are taking this man for granted?  He has been good enough for this long, doesn't he deserve the best?   

please be the best woman you can be, please don't cheat until you are seperated.  God may have put this new man in your life, but not as a gift, maybe as a test.  Ask God for his help on this one. 

I have been married for 22 years and found out 7/07 that my husband was having an affair since 2/07, I completely trusted this man.  He says that it was just to get my attention, well there are other ways to get attention.  Affairs are selfish and hurfful to more than just the married couple.  We have four children, it does affect them and my mood affects everyone around me.  It feels like my chest has been ripped out and stomped, sometimes I can just sit and cry for no reason and yes we are both in therapy.  We have been together for 27 years, he even tells the therapyst that he constantly told the other person that he loved his wife,  My theory is how can you hurt someone you love that much.  I have made a vow that no one will ever cause me that much pain again.  I told him it would have been easier if the police had come to the door and told me he had been killed in some kind of an accident, at least there would have been closure!  So maybe you should think before you leap, someone will get hurt, and if you are looking for revenge then go ahead and do it.  If you are looking for self safisfaction masybe you need therapy.  I know that I do not  trust a man I have known for 27 years and I find that I can not believe anything he says I question everything he says and does because of his cheating.  Just remember that your spouse is a human with feeling also.
 
March 28, 2008, 9:10 pm CDT

Love at first sight????

Not just NO but HELL NO ! I believe in LUST at first sight but a lasting and abiding love can only come from knowing someone and spending time with them. I have been married for 30 years and am in a miserable relationship. I hated him when I first met him but fell in love with him after taking the time to know him. After all these years of living together I have really gotten to know him and I was right to have disliked him. I was still fooled.  
 
March 28, 2008, 9:31 pm CDT

De nile is not a River in Africa !

Quote From: zoeyg58

OK where do I start. First let me tell you I have children your age, I am almost 50. So take it from an old bird this is not "normal". Once you marry and have children, you become a unit. Neither one of you should be hanging out at any bars alone for any reason. Sorry kiddo, but bars are hook up joints and if anyone tells you different then they are feeding you lines. There are too many other things to do if you guys need time for your selves with your guy friends or her girlfriends. From what I read it seems like you and your wife are not very compatible. She seems to be more outgoing than you, maybe that's the problem. Then again her lack of sensitivity is outrageous. I don't want to hurt your feelings in any way, but it seems as if she doesn't want you around, I am seriously not trying to be mean. I think you seriously need to evaluate your relationship. I don't think there is anything wrong with your request for her not be out there at all hours by herself, or for her to call you when she is away. That is the way marriage works. You should think of your significant other and how you can make their day a little better. For instance, I make sure the coffee pot is ready for my husband in the morning because he gets up so much earlier than me, and I will leave him a small note just letting him know I love him and to have a good day. I mean, really we don't know what will happen that day. God forbid that something bad happens to either one of us and all we are left with is a feeling of rejection and being "whiny". Like Dr Phil says "the worst thing than being in a bad relationship 7 years, is being in a bad relationship 7 years and 1 day". I really think you need to sit down with your wife and ask some hard questions, like if she still wants to be in the marriage. Try not to get emotional, it seems she uses your emotions against you and as a shield not to tell you the truth. I really wish you luck, I hope things work out for you. Just remember I don't think there's anything wrong with your requests, you are a unit, not two people living in the same home. Good Luck

 

     She is not being truthful to you and you know it and that is why you feel so sad. I understand being in love, but how much time did you take getting to know this person???? I am so sorry about Xmas, it is about family, and she should have understood that. The fact that she thought it was all about playing cards tells me a lot about what kind of person she is and where her values are.

     Percy Sledge used to sing a song called " Take Time to Know Her". I though I had taken time to get to know my husband but we never talked about things that were important to each other. We both made a lot of assumptions and we were both wrong. And now 30 years later we are paying for it. I am no longer in the river in Africa (Denial). But we are still together and it is a very sad place to be for us both. God I am so sad for you and pray you will not allow her to continue lying to you. If she has nothing to hide there would be no reason for her to need to be without you.

     She is lying to you.

 
March 28, 2008, 10:41 pm CDT

Love At First Sight

Quote From: flatoutgal

I do believe in true love, I do believe in love at first site - however I also know that it is possible to love someone so completely, and have nothing returned. Especially when its someone you have to see and speak to every day.

 

 

   I most definitely believe in love at first sight. It's a very special gift that our Heavenly Father God gives us, by grace, to share a piece of his abundant love for us. When we are blessed with this moment, our eyes and hearts are miraculously opened to a new divine understanding of the word Love. Your eyes will meet with his or hers and you will feel an intense attraction so much more than the regular physical attraction that was most likely only ever experienced until this point. All of a sudden you will be hit with another confirmation of the Love when that person says their first words to you. Their voice will resonate through your entire being with perfect harmony and the only way to describe it will be amazing. This was my personal experience of Love at first sight when I met my wife-to-be, Lizanne. 

 
April 10, 2008, 2:32 pm CDT

i love my husband but im not in love

he and i have been married for only 3 years and have a 10 month old daughter. we had a rough first year and now i want out. because im not in love with him anymore. I do love him with all my heart but know i could be happier and give my daughter a better life because i could be happier with someone else. i dont know what to do. i dont want to leave because im afraid of what it could do to her later on but i also dont want to leave because i feel like maybe ive got some unrealistic view of what marriage is supposed to be.
 
April 17, 2008, 4:27 pm CDT

marriage

Quote From: gabriellasmama

he and i have been married for only 3 years and have a 10 month old daughter. we had a rough first year and now i want out. because im not in love with him anymore. I do love him with all my heart but know i could be happier and give my daughter a better life because i could be happier with someone else. i dont know what to do. i dont want to leave because im afraid of what it could do to her later on but i also dont want to leave because i feel like maybe ive got some unrealistic view of what marriage is supposed to be.

You said vows that tie you to this man for life.  You owe it to him, your child, and yourself to put every bit if effort nececcary to repair this relationship.  I think you need to be in counseling, either individually, and/or marriage counseling.

 

If you think that marriage is supposed to be easy, fuzzy, perfect, all roses...you've got it all wrong.  It is NOT easy adjusting to living with another person, no matter how much you love him...and you've got a child adding stress to the mix...not that we don't love our kids, but realistically, they do put a strain on the husband-wife relationship...any relationship takes hard work to make it last.  Marriage isn't about warm fuzzy feelings all the time...there are times when you are really going to piss each other off...it's just life...the key is tolerance...my husband and I have been married for 27 years, with three boys, and we didn't get to this place by having unrealistic expectations.  You are a team...each one contributes to the marriage...you are two completely differet people, with different backgrounds and upbringings...I love my husband very much, but I can't say that my love for him is NOT the same as it was when we first got married...we were so young then...it's natural for love to change as you grow together.  It's natural for you to feel like your love for your husband fluctuates...it's really hard to love somebody when you're angry and hurt...not knowing exactly what your circumstances are, it's hard to know exactly what to say.

 

You didn't say why you want to leave...are you fighting a lot?  Is he abusive?  Is the sex not that great anymore?  Is he cheating?  Are you?  You don't have to be head-over-heels...that's a myth...infatuation is what draws us together...love is what makes us stay...you need time to grow together and learn to appreciate each other for your differences...when we first got married...probably for the first 3 years...we did a lot of "not talking" and door-slamming when we were angry with each other.  Through counseling, we learned more positive and constructive ways to communicate...and learned not to hold grudges...it's not fair to re-hash old stuff over and over...how long are you going to carry the anger and hurt of one particular arguement...You don't have to be on the verge of divorce to get counseling...don't let it get that far...

 

There are some things you can do to get the spark back...start doing little things for your husband...leave a chocolate on his pillow...put a note in his lunch...fix a nice dinner with no occasion at all...get a babysitter and go on a real date with your husband...watch a DVD together at home, after the baby goes to bed...bring him flowers...you get the idea..do or say at least one nice thing for him every day...with no expectation of anything in return...let your husband know just how special he is.

 

If you think the grass would be greener with a different husband...it doesn't work that way...relationships are hard work...you can't change your husband, but you can change your own attitude and actions.

 

Do you work outside the home?  If not, maybe you need some connection with other moms of small kids.  When my kids were little, I belonged to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)...it is a  church-based organization, available nation-wide.  It is a great way to connect with other moms, hear great words on how to make parenting and marriage work, and get encouragement from other moms.  There is nursery care at the meetings, so moms can meet without the distraction of the kids.  Moms meet up to the time that their youngest child finishes kindergarten.  Babies put plenty of strain on a marriage...take care of yourself...take care of your marriage...

 

Good Luck...Becky

 

 

 
April 17, 2008, 4:34 pm CDT

love at first sight

Quote From: cjsinger

   I most definitely believe in love at first sight. It's a very special gift that our Heavenly Father God gives us, by grace, to share a piece of his abundant love for us. When we are blessed with this moment, our eyes and hearts are miraculously opened to a new divine understanding of the word Love. Your eyes will meet with his or hers and you will feel an intense attraction so much more than the regular physical attraction that was most likely only ever experienced until this point. All of a sudden you will be hit with another confirmation of the Love when that person says their first words to you. Their voice will resonate through your entire being with perfect harmony and the only way to describe it will be amazing. This was my personal experience of Love at first sight when I met my wife-to-be, Lizanne. 

My husband (of 27 years) and I experienced love at first sight...but we got to be best friends as we got to know each other...infatuation fades...friendship is true deep love, that can last a lifetime...with effort, tolerance, and hard work.

 

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding...that's just the beginning...love her always...but most of all, be her best friend...

 
May 20, 2008, 6:56 pm CDT

Don't belive it's possible.

Quote From: mustbecrazy

My husband (of 27 years) and I experienced love at first sight...but we got to be best friends as we got to know each other...infatuation fades...friendship is true deep love, that can last a lifetime...with effort, tolerance, and hard work.

 

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding...that's just the beginning...love her always...but most of all, be her best friend...

Let me start by saying I believe myself to be a romantic.  I love filling a room with candles and giving my lover a massage with music playing.  But love at first site!  NO.  It's a romantic thought and makes for a great story.  But anyone who's truly been in love, you know that the feeling of love comes from knowing everything about a person, good and bad, and still loving them in spite of the bad.  When you first see someone, you don't KNOW them.  Can you really love someone you don't know?  I don't think so.  Love comes from knowing everything about a person and being totally drawn in to who they are.  When you first see someone you can feel lust, or infatuation, but not love.  True love comes from knowing everything about them and loving all of it.
 
May 21, 2008, 10:45 am CDT

love at first sight...

Quote From: coachjoeh

Let me start by saying I believe myself to be a romantic.  I love filling a room with candles and giving my lover a massage with music playing.  But love at first site!  NO.  It's a romantic thought and makes for a great story.  But anyone who's truly been in love, you know that the feeling of love comes from knowing everything about a person, good and bad, and still loving them in spite of the bad.  When you first see someone, you don't KNOW them.  Can you really love someone you don't know?  I don't think so.  Love comes from knowing everything about a person and being totally drawn in to who they are.  When you first see someone you can feel lust, or infatuation, but not love.  True love comes from knowing everything about them and loving all of it.
Ok...maybe we should call it "mutual attraction at first sight"...that would be a more accurate description...you're right...true love takes time to happen...forming a friendship...getting to know each other...on our first date, we were supposed to go "moonlight" bowling...we made a reservation for a lane that was available after a couple of hours...we went to Mc D's, and then to a park...we sat talking until 2 AM...neither of us really noticed the time...we missed our bowling time...but we learned that we had a lot in common...and that we would like another date...and another...and another...we still never run out of things to talk about...after 27 years of marriage...
 
May 31, 2008, 3:48 am CDT

hello

hello my name is sylvia , and im 30 years old, and im frome norway. you have to exuse my bad english:-) are you newly weeds? im going to be married 28 oof june next month , and im so exited , i cant eat ore sleep. i think i have all under controll, but butterflyes in my stomack is killing me ehheheeh. so how is it to be married? have you and your wife been togheter for long? today we are goning to  have a drinking party whit my friends , you now the party you have before you get married.

 

 

well i have to go . have a nice weekend

 
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