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Topic : True Love

Number of Replies: 1117
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:04:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you believe in true love? How about love at first sight? Is it possible to cheat on someone you love? Can true love die? Tell us what you think!

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June 20, 2008, 3:55 pm CDT

I Once Believed in True Love!

I was one of those that never believed in "Love at First Sight" or "True Love"; until the day I met my husband, Rick, he was my "FOREVER LOVE"!
I did everything to support  "his dreams", emotionally, financially, until the day he lost the business, our home and pretty much everything we had.  I never even considered leaving him, I loved him. 
Then he pursued his "next dream" of working at a Parrot Facility; moving 6 times in 4 years; having 21 parrots in our home at one point, what could I say, it was "his dream" and I loved him. 
At some point, it was supposed to be my turn for "my dreams"; but after 15 years of marriage, he just walked out and said "He didn't want to be married any more".   He went to two couples counseling sessions, but, when he realized what he was going to have to do to save our marriage, he bolted!
He destroyed my world with one sentence, with everything that I sacrificed for him, he just walks away (and no there isn't another woman), not even try to save our marriage.  I was the expendable part of his selfish, self-centered life!
Now I wish that I had never met him, I changed my entire life for him and loved him unconditionally for 17 years!!
For the last year, I have been living in the guest bedroom of a very dear friend.  I can't imagine where I would be right now if it wasn't for her.
His life goes on as if I never existed, he just erased the last 17 years!  But my heart is broken beyond repair!

 
July 5, 2008, 9:34 am CDT

True Love

Over the years, time may change a lot of things, but one thing it has not changed is my love for a certain person.  The last time I saw her was about 12 years ago at my fraternity brother’s wedding.  We introduced him and his new bride back in college.  I thought that across the many miles and the barriers of religion that things could never work between her and me. I was certain that day that I would never hold her again and it has haunted me ever since that summer afternoon.

I have found myself in many relationships, each one to fail because I only have love for that one person.  I have even given marriage a try twice, both have failed.  Although one divorce was due to infidelity on her part, but she never compared to my college love either.   I did receive a beautiful daughter from that one.  My first marriage became a disaster from the start; I was trying to fill a void in my life that to this day has not been filled.  I even made the mistake of calling her by my sole mate’s name on the wedding night.  That marriage ended not even a year later when she decided to try to get back with her children’s father. 

This wonderful woman that I met back in college,  who I consider as my sole mate and I keep in touch about several times a year. She has never been married and is still me most extraordinary lady that has ever been in my life. She has made a successful educator and coach in Lafayette, Louisiana.  I have many times tried to get the courage to take a weekend and drive down there, but we are two different worlds.  She is single with the whole world in front of her.   I am divorced with a wonderful child, and stuck where I am because I cannot and will not leave my child.  God gave her to me to protect and take care of.  I just want this Lady back in my life.  I have spoken with her about my feelings and they seem mutual.

I have not been happy since our relationship slipped through the cracks many years ago. 

Any advice or comments will be very helpful.

 
July 17, 2008, 9:51 am CDT

there is nothing like it

I got married 36 years ago and wouldn't recommend it because I was only 17, BUT I can't tell you how much WE love each other. I guess our love wasmade in heaven because we still love each other soooooooooo much. He has never called me a name and when he gets upset with me he walks away. We talk about the problem later when we've both cooled down and we tell each other our feelings and that is important! We have had problems but nothing that has caused us to ever believe we couldn' t work them out. Life throws all kinds of obstacles at you but when you have someone to share them with it becomes bearable. On our wedding day we received a gift I have memorized and used often, It was a plaque that states ' It takes two hearts to make a pair, for one is not enough. The joy we share is twice as much , the sorrow but one half.' Gandi said, ' Live as if there is no tomorrow, but learn as if there is a forever. ' Always put your best foot forward and treat each other with respect . God Bless
 
July 20, 2008, 11:15 am CDT

Falling Out of Love?

How do you know if you might be falling out of love with your spouse?
My wife and I have not been married long at all, just almost 2 years, but we have bee together for almost 9 years total including dating and marriage together.

We began dating in when I was a Senior in High School 1999-2000 and she was a Junior. She never had a boyfriend before me, and I only had two other girlfriends who I really didnt care for at all.
We continued to date, almost breaking up once but didnt. And then in 2006 we got married after being engaged for one year. We lived with each other for a couple years, going to the same college. We even waited until having sex until marriage.
I was 17 when we we started dating, and am 26 this august.

For many months now, if not longer. I have began to question if I still love her, or ever really loved her as a husband should love his wife. I care for her, dont want her hurt. But dont know if I it is the same.
I feel so confused right now its eating me up. I dont even feel like myself anymore.
I wonder if I didnt just marry for convience, if Im even ready for marriage. I dont know. I cant even explain it properly.
I need help, advice, something. I dont want to talk to my wife about this, because if its nothing then i dont want to cause her worry, she is beginning her career as a teacher this year and I dont want to add to her stress.
 
July 24, 2008, 1:35 pm CDT

What is true love?

I have been dating who i thought was the man of my dreams for 2.5 yrs now. Long story short we dont agree with how to spend our free time. And its been causing nothing but arguement after arguement. He works long hard hours 6 days a week as a construction worker. when he gets home after 12hrs in the hot sun doing manual labor he has no energy physically or emotionally to do anything. I understand that. But my need are going unmet. i feel completly unfulfilled. I work as a waitress at night. so our schedules are completly opposite. we dont live together and we hardly see each other let alone talk on the phone. so when we finally do get to spend time together i want to spend it with him. his passion in life is motorcycles. he wants to spend his free time out riding his dirt bike. we went camping the past two weekends so we could kill two birds with one stone. he got to ride and i got to feel like we spent time together, i am not an outdoorsy person by nature. I went for him to make him happy. this weekend i was excited to finally have a weekend to ourselves. we could enjoy each others company and have good quality time together. I asked him if he was excited about this weekend and he said no. his friends are going camping. i have to work so i cant go plus i didnt want to go. we havent had any alone time in a long time. sleeping together at night hardly counts. how could he not be excited to spend quality time with me? we see each other once or twice a week for a couple hours. That s not enough for me. but im dealing with it because its a new job and he has to put his time in at work to move up. and i have to have a night job because of school. so niether of our schedules are going to change. thats fine, but be excited to spend time with your girlfriend who you cliam to want to marry someday. How can we spend the rest of our lives together, when he doesnt even look forward to seeing me and just me on the weekends.is that a sign? shouldnt spending time together be one of the easiest parts of the relationship. so maybe we need a hobby to share? hes an adrenaline junkie, i'm a chicken. he likes motorcycles and snowmobiles, i dont even have a hobby or know what i like.I've always been in school and working so any free time i had wsa just hanging out with friends doing simple things. I dont even know where to start looking for a hobby. is that wierd? does everyone have one? so im confused. do i stick it out? how can he change how much he wants to spend time with me? how can i make him be excited to see me. ive talked to him about this numerous times. and it gets no where. he hates that i would even think that he wouldnt want to hang out with me. well am i expecting too much to want him to be as excited to hang out with me as he is as exciteed to ride?
 
July 30, 2008, 12:29 am CDT

"Anger Management"

I have a loving wife, Melissa, and a beautiful son, Lorenzo. I love them so much. All I want in this world is for us to be one big happy family. But there is only one problem. My anger gets in the way. I have no control over my anger. Once I blow up, there is no holding back. I've spent years seeking help. I've attended anger management classes (group sessions). That did'nt work. Then I went to individual sessions with a psychiatrist. That didn't work. They say the problem is alcohol. I'm only an occasional drinker who has only a few beers every now and then. Well, that's not the case. It's been months since I've had any alcohol in my system and I still get these temper tantrums. I even went to see a chaplin and all he said was control myself. Easier said than done. I don't know what to do. My family is in jeopardy. If I don't take care of this problem anytime soon, I will probably lose what I cherish most, my family. I need your help. Please, anyone out there, if you have some friendly advice, I am willing to take it. Anything that will save my family. Thanks.
 
July 30, 2008, 7:28 pm CDT

Can this actually be True Love?

Quote From: flatoutgal

I do believe in true love, I do believe in love at first site - however I also know that it is possible to love someone so completely, and have nothing returned. Especially when its someone you have to see and speak to every day.

 

 

I know there is such a thing as love at first sight but I'm not sure about true love if there is nothing being returned.  I met someone four years ago and I thought he was someone that I could fall in love with.  We acknowledged the attraction we had but we only got together a couple of times and were not completely intimate. He is a 52 year old bachelor.  After each time together, he would have a change of heart the next day and he never gave me an explanation as to why.  This happened a couple of times.  He works in the same building as I do, so I see him on a regular basis.   I have even aksed him straight out  what I did to make him change his mind and that was just about  six months ago but he just put me off, and I was totally humiliated.   I will never approach him again.  There has not been a day go by that I have not thought of him.  I know he does not want to have anything to do with me but it still does not stop me from thinking about him.  Is this love or infatuation?  Can infatuation last for four years?  I have been out with a few other men since my divorce because I know I have to move on, but I can't seem to get past this.  I think the only way I'm going to stop thinking about him is if I meet someone else.  Obviously, he is just not that into me.   True love is not one sided, so this cannot be true love.    I'm hoping I will find true love with someone that actually loves me back.  Life is too short to settle for less.

 
August 1, 2008, 6:56 am CDT

How to dump a guy.

Hey everybody.

 

      I know that this is an unusual post for this board, but I'm having the "true love" problem in reverse.  I am somewhat in love with the guy that I cheated on my husband with.  My whole story is posted in the infidelity message board.  We are getting a divorce, but when we do, I'll be left with me, myself, and I.  This is a scary thought considering the kinds of guys that I like to "fall in love" with.  I fear self-destruction seriously.  I know that to be in love with the guy who's probably my baby's daddy is very foolish.  He already has a long-term girlfriend and three daughters.  If nothing else, I don't want to have to help pay the massive child support that will inevitably be required not to mention living with the fact that I will forever be a "homewrecker."  At the same time, however, I cannot get this guy "out of my system."  Whenever we are together, it feels very nice and I simply like his touch - even when we're not, you know, doing stuff.  It's like we are boyfriend and girlfriend when we are together, which isn't very often, but the few times we are together, that's how it feels.  This baby will be placed for adoption, so at least I won't have to see him the rest of my life.  That's a plus.  Anyway, any suggestions will be appreciated.  Thanks.

 

Tracy

 

 

 
August 3, 2008, 7:34 pm CDT

True Love

Quote From: crazytracy1974

Hey everybody.

 

      I know that this is an unusual post for this board, but I'm having the "true love" problem in reverse.  I am somewhat in love with the guy that I cheated on my husband with.  My whole story is posted in the infidelity message board.  We are getting a divorce, but when we do, I'll be left with me, myself, and I.  This is a scary thought considering the kinds of guys that I like to "fall in love" with.  I fear self-destruction seriously.  I know that to be in love with the guy who's probably my baby's daddy is very foolish.  He already has a long-term girlfriend and three daughters.  If nothing else, I don't want to have to help pay the massive child support that will inevitably be required not to mention living with the fact that I will forever be a "homewrecker."  At the same time, however, I cannot get this guy "out of my system."  Whenever we are together, it feels very nice and I simply like his touch - even when we're not, you know, doing stuff.  It's like we are boyfriend and girlfriend when we are together, which isn't very often, but the few times we are together, that's how it feels.  This baby will be placed for adoption, so at least I won't have to see him the rest of my life.  That's a plus.  Anyway, any suggestions will be appreciated.  Thanks.

 

Tracy

 

 

I think a part of maturity is being able to walk away from a relationship that we know isn't healthy for us even though at times it makes us feel good.

 

I haven't always been the best poster child for self-control. I would always end my affair and I would be able to resist him until he would call me again. I finally had to change my cell phone number and e-mail address. I knew I could be strong as long as he couldn't contact me. All I can say is over time it got easier. He has absolutely no hold over me now.

 

I know you have probably been told this, but take time for yourself. Don't get into another relationship right away. You don't need a man to make you happy. When you are emotionally ready for a relationship don't settle for someone who is unavailable, you deserve so much better than that! 

 

Best of luck to you!   

 

 

 
August 12, 2008, 5:43 pm CDT

True Love

Quote From: stephan21p

I have a loving wife, Melissa, and a beautiful son, Lorenzo. I love them so much. All I want in this world is for us to be one big happy family. But there is only one problem. My anger gets in the way. I have no control over my anger. Once I blow up, there is no holding back. I've spent years seeking help. I've attended anger management classes (group sessions). That did'nt work. Then I went to individual sessions with a psychiatrist. That didn't work. They say the problem is alcohol. I'm only an occasional drinker who has only a few beers every now and then. Well, that's not the case. It's been months since I've had any alcohol in my system and I still get these temper tantrums. I even went to see a chaplin and all he said was control myself. Easier said than done. I don't know what to do. My family is in jeopardy. If I don't take care of this problem anytime soon, I will probably lose what I cherish most, my family. I need your help. Please, anyone out there, if you have some friendly advice, I am willing to take it. Anything that will save my family. Thanks.

      I was in your wifes position once and what I did was leave my partner. He took anger management  while we were together and that didn't work. we also went to relationship councilling and that didn't work. Than I left him and had no contact with him for 8 months. He realized what he was doing to me and my son once I wasn't their and did angermanagement again. Only this time he knew it was for real and he took it a lot more serious. When I decided to try our relationship again, he was a changed man. He has not abused me mentally, physically, or verbally for over two years now. Untill your wife decides to take it seriously and actually leave you for you to get the help you need, you will probably never stop. I really feel sorry for her and your child, that will probably grow up and continue your behaviour on another woman. Here are some things that we do when things get heated, and they work for us.

- we always sit down when we have an arguement. That way neither one of us feels superior or threatened.

- We have a safe zone. We use or bedroom as the spot to go to if one person feels threatened or exausted. The other person is not aloud in the safe zone while the other is using it. That way you get some time to cool off.

- we discuss one topic at a time. and we never bring up the past.

 

 
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