Topic : True Love

     She is not being truthful to you and you know it and that is why you feel so sad. I understand being in love, but how much time did you take getting to know this person???? I am so sorry about Xmas, it is about family, and she should have understood that. The fact that she thought it was all about playing cards tells me a lot about what kind of person she is and where her values are.

     Percy Sledge used to sing a song called " Take Time to Know Her". I though I had taken time to get to know my husband but we never talked about things that were important to each other. We both made a lot of assumptions and we were both wrong. And now 30 years later we are paying for it. I am no longer in the river in Africa (Denial). But we are still together and it is a very sad place to be for us both. God I am so sad for you and pray you will not allow her to continue lying to you. If she has nothing to hide there would be no reason for her to need to be without you.

     She is lying to you.

   I most definitely believe in love at first sight. It's a very special gift that our Heavenly Father God gives us, by grace, to share a piece of his abundant love for us. When we are blessed with this moment, our eyes and hearts are miraculously opened to a new divine understanding of the word Love. Your eyes will meet with his or hers and you will feel an intense attraction so much more than the regular physical attraction that was most likely only ever experienced until this point. All of a sudden you will be hit with another confirmation of the Love when that person says their first words to you. Their voice will resonate through your entire being with perfect harmony and the only way to describe it will be amazing. This was my personal experience of Love at first sight when I met my wife-to-be, Lizanne. 

You said vows that tie you to this man for life.  You owe it to him, your child, and yourself to put every bit if effort nececcary to repair this relationship.  I think you need to be in counseling, either individually, and/or marriage counseling.

If you think that marriage is supposed to be easy, fuzzy, perfect, all roses...you've got it all wrong.  It is NOT easy adjusting to living with another person, no matter how much you love him...and you've got a child adding stress to the mix...not that we don't love our kids, but realistically, they do put a strain on the husband-wife relationship...any relationship takes hard work to make it last.  Marriage isn't about warm fuzzy feelings all the time...there are times when you are really going to piss each other off...it's just life...the key is tolerance...my husband and I have been married for 27 years, with three boys, and we didn't get to this place by having unrealistic expectations.  You are a team...each one contributes to the marriage...you are two completely differet people, with different backgrounds and upbringings...I love my husband very much, but I can't say that my love for him is NOT the same as it was when we first got married...we were so young then...it's natural for love to change as you grow together.  It's natural for you to feel like your love for your husband fluctuates...it's really hard to love somebody when you're angry and hurt...not knowing exactly what your circumstances are, it's hard to know exactly what to say.

You didn't say why you want to leave...are you fighting a lot?  Is he abusive?  Is the sex not that great anymore?  Is he cheating?  Are you?  You don't have to be head-over-heels...that's a myth...infatuation is what draws us together...love is what makes us stay...you need time to grow together and learn to appreciate each other for your differences...when we first got married...probably for the first 3 years...we did a lot of "not talking" and door-slamming when we were angry with each other.  Through counseling, we learned more positive and constructive ways to communicate...and learned not to hold grudges...it's not fair to re-hash old stuff over and over...how long are you going to carry the anger and hurt of one particular arguement...You don't have to be on the verge of divorce to get counseling...don't let it get that far...

There are some things you can do to get the spark back...start doing little things for your husband...leave a chocolate on his pillow...put a note in his lunch...fix a nice dinner with no occasion at all...get a babysitter and go on a real date with your husband...watch a DVD together at home, after the baby goes to bed...bring him flowers...you get the idea..do or say at least one nice thing for him every day...with no expectation of anything in return...let your husband know just how special he is.

If you think the grass would be greener with a different husband...it doesn't work that way...relationships are hard work...you can't change your husband, but you can change your own attitude and actions.

Do you work outside the home?  If not, maybe you need some connection with other moms of small kids.  When my kids were little, I belonged to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)...it is a  church-based organization, available nation-wide.  It is a great way to connect with other moms, hear great words on how to make parenting and marriage work, and get encouragement from other moms.  There is nursery care at the meetings, so moms can meet without the distraction of the kids.  Moms meet up to the time that their youngest child finishes kindergarten.  Babies put plenty of strain on a marriage...take care of yourself...take care of your marriage...

Good Luck...Becky

My husband (of 27 years) and I experienced love at first sight...but we got to be best friends as we got to know each other...infatuation fades...friendship is true deep love, that can last a lifetime...with effort, tolerance, and hard work.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding...that's just the beginning...love her always...but most of all, be her best friend...

hello my name is sylvia , and im 30 years old, and im frome norway. you have to exuse my bad english:-) are you newly weeds? im going to be married 28 oof june next month , and im so exited , i cant eat ore sleep. i think i have all under controll, but butterflyes in my stomack is killing me ehheheeh. so how is it to be married? have you and your wife been togheter for long? today we are goning to  have a drinking party whit my friends , you now the party you have before you get married.

well i have to go . have a nice weekend

I was one of those that never believed in "Love at First Sight" or "True Love"; until the day I met my husband, Rick, he was my "FOREVER LOVE"!
I did everything to support  "his dreams", emotionally, financially, until the day he lost the business, our home and pretty much everything we had.  I never even considered leaving him, I loved him. 
Then he pursued his "next dream" of working at a Parrot Facility; moving 6 times in 4 years; having 21 parrots in our home at one point, what could I say, it was "his dream" and I loved him. 
At some point, it was supposed to be my turn for "my dreams"; but after 15 years of marriage, he just walked out and said "He didn't want to be married any more".   He went to two couples counseling sessions, but, when he realized what he was going to have to do to save our marriage, he bolted!
He destroyed my world with one sentence, with everything that I sacrificed for him, he just walks away (and no there isn't another woman), not even try to save our marriage.  I was the expendable part of his selfish, self-centered life!
Now I wish that I had never met him, I changed my entire life for him and loved him unconditionally for 17 years!!
For the last year, I have been living in the guest bedroom of a very dear friend.  I can't imagine where I would be right now if it wasn't for her.
His life goes on as if I never existed, he just erased the last 17 years!  But my heart is broken beyond repair!

Over the years, time may change a lot of things, but one thing it has not changed is my love for a certain person.  The last time I saw her was about 12 years ago at my fraternity brother’s wedding.  We introduced him and his new bride back in college.  I thought that across the many miles and the barriers of religion that things could never work between her and me. I was certain that day that I would never hold her again and it has haunted me ever since that summer afternoon.

I have found myself in many relationships, each one to fail because I only have love for that one person.  I have even given marriage a try twice, both have failed.  Although one divorce was due to infidelity on her part, but she never compared to my college love either.   I did receive a beautiful daughter from that one.  My first marriage became a disaster from the start; I was trying to fill a void in my life that to this day has not been filled.  I even made the mistake of calling her by my sole mate’s name on the wedding night.  That marriage ended not even a year later when she decided to try to get back with her children’s father. 

This wonderful woman that I met back in college,  who I consider as my sole mate and I keep in touch about several times a year. She has never been married and is still me most extraordinary lady that has ever been in my life. She has made a successful educator and coach in Lafayette, Louisiana.  I have many times tried to get the courage to take a weekend and drive down there, but we are two different worlds.  She is single with the whole world in front of her.   I am divorced with a wonderful child, and stuck where I am because I cannot and will not leave my child.  God gave her to me to protect and take care of.  I just want this Lady back in my life.  I have spoken with her about my feelings and they seem mutual.

I have not been happy since our relationship slipped through the cracks many years ago. 

Any advice or comments will be very helpful.