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Topic : True Love

Number of Replies: 1118
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:04:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you believe in true love? How about love at first sight? Is it possible to cheat on someone you love? Can true love die? Tell us what you think!

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December 14, 2008, 12:19 pm CST

I do love him, even with all his faults

Hello, I have been married nearly five years to a wonderfully, supporting husband. The problem is that he has no money to speak of to help-out with the bills. He has been working on his bachelor's degree and he has 19 classes left to graduate. In the process, he goes in and out of jobs for little pay. He just quit another job after 6 months because they dropped his schedule down to only four hours next week. I love my husband so much, but it gets old paying for everything. I can depend on my husband for everything, except money. Is it wrong for me to stay married to someone who is not financially secure?
 
December 22, 2008, 3:54 pm CST

True Love

Quote From: emy2101

Hello there!! i met that italian guy 2 months ago. we go out everyday when he's in Morroco, when he went back to italy he keep calling everyday and all day long, we talked about everything and nothing, he said he's serious and he wants to marry me, i'd love to but i don't know what to do

the last time he came to Morroco, he bring to me a lot of presents, we had sex, a really good one, you can feel that we're in love, we hang out... The problem is that he's not muslim, my family won't accept him, but he said he's really to be a muslim, so that's nice of him, he's ready to do anything for me.

he wanted to talk to my family now but my mother said no, we don't have to rush things, i've met him just two months ago so it's not enough to marry him, he's upset and he wants to be with me forever

actually, i still continue my studies and i work in a good company so i will have to let my job, my family and everything here to go with him

but he's really nice, he never done something bad to me, he let me do whatever i want

what should i do?

You sound as if you actually know this is not a good idea, but do not really want to see it.

You are in love and that is great, but no foundation for marriage alone. It's great you can talk together, that the sex is good and that he brings you presents and even that he says he is prepared to become muslim for you. But seriously, how much do you know this guy? Is he genuine about his feelings or led by being in love and having a crush on you? 2 months is a very short time altogether.

I am engaged to my boyfriend of over 3 years and we still have to built on our relationship every day. We have 8 months left till our wedding, we are very happy but we both know we learn more about each other every day.

Take your time, listen to your mother I'd say in this case. If it is meant to be, you'll have enough time left.

 

Meara

 

 

 

 
December 22, 2008, 4:03 pm CST

True Love

Quote From: lucky35

Hello, I have been married nearly five years to a wonderfully, supporting husband. The problem is that he has no money to speak of to help-out with the bills. He has been working on his bachelor's degree and he has 19 classes left to graduate. In the process, he goes in and out of jobs for little pay. He just quit another job after 6 months because they dropped his schedule down to only four hours next week. I love my husband so much, but it gets old paying for everything. I can depend on my husband for everything, except money. Is it wrong for me to stay married to someone who is not financially secure?

You're question at the end is very direct and one only you can answer. Only you know how you really feel in this relationship and how it affects you.

I am wondering when I read your post, have you ever sat down before you got married to discuss finances and both of your roles regarding this? What was your agreement before he started his bachelor? Did his studees take longer than expected?

How do you feel that he quits jobs all the time?

You say that you can depend on your husband for everything, except money. Only you can decide if this is a good deal for you.

 

 
December 26, 2008, 6:15 am CST

Hello

Quote From: meara1983

You're question at the end is very direct and one only you can answer. Only you know how you really feel in this relationship and how it affects you.

I am wondering when I read your post, have you ever sat down before you got married to discuss finances and both of your roles regarding this? What was your agreement before he started his bachelor? Did his studees take longer than expected?

How do you feel that he quits jobs all the time?

You say that you can depend on your husband for everything, except money. Only you can decide if this is a good deal for you.

 

Hi, thanks for replying to my message. I made the mistake of talking to my mother about our marital issues, and now she talks crap about my husband. It makes me really mad because I think my mother is jealous of my relationship. She is a weird character all together and believe me she has put up with a lot of crap from my dad (prison, allegations of sexual abuse, domestic violence). With all due respect, I will not listen to my mom, of all people, tell me not to put up with crap from a man, after all the crap she has put up with. My mom thinks because I am educated, that any time there is an arguement I should just pack up and go simply because "I don't have to put up with it".

 

I now need help dealing with my mom. Trust me, she would probably like nothing more than for me to divorce my husband, but that is the last thing I want to do! I don't believe in divorce, first of all, second of all, I don't want to be alone in this mean, cruel world. I don't want to go without regular sex, and first and foremost, the friendship me and my husband have incurred, is something I don't want to leave. We are truly great friends. I made the mistake of calling my mom when I was mad at my husband, and now she basically knows our "marital business", so to speak. I wish I would have NEVER confided in her in nothing. I did so because I knew she would side with me and make me feel better about how I felt, but now, it is like she is hanging it over my head. I do believe she is a jealous mother and would rather see me alone than with my husband happy. She grew-up in that generation of women who married the older man, had many children, and was "taken care of". I have done the exact opposite and it just burns her up with all my liberated freedom. I married a man 7 years younger than me, I am the bread-winner, and we do not particularly want any children. It really makes her jealous to see me living the life that she could only fantasize about.

 

So please give me some advice on how to get my mom off my back about my husband. I messed-up by telling her our problems and now she is using them against me. My husband's family (father) has done more for me financially in the few short years (5) that I have been in their family, than my parents have ever done for me. I can't even believe that I would contemplate leaving my husband and his generous family for my parents. How could I be so stupid??!! I seriously do not know where I would be without my husband and his family. They have done so much for me. My parents have not done anything for me my whole life. Seriously, they did not put me through college, they did not buy me a car, and they have never helped me financially when I needed it. They just don't help me period. I know what it would be like if I left my husband. I would all alone, once again, in this world with no help from anyone. My parents are the type of people, even though I do love them, that would not pick me up at the airport or help me fix my car if it was broken-down. This is how they are. My husband would give me anything, and so would his family. I need them in my life and I think my mother is just jealous that I have a real family to actually turn to in times of need, if I need to.

 

So, what do you think? Who can I got to to talk about my marital problems, even as small as they are? I don't really have that many girlfriends to confide in, and I definitely do not want to turn to my mother now, especially after she is acting now. She acts like I should just divorce my husband. It not only hurts my feelings deeply, but after all the crap she has put up with through my dad, how dare her!!

 

Thanks for your advice and Happy Holidays.

 
December 26, 2008, 1:43 pm CST

sounds like

Quote From: lucky35

Hi, thanks for replying to my message. I made the mistake of talking to my mother about our marital issues, and now she talks crap about my husband. It makes me really mad because I think my mother is jealous of my relationship. She is a weird character all together and believe me she has put up with a lot of crap from my dad (prison, allegations of sexual abuse, domestic violence). With all due respect, I will not listen to my mom, of all people, tell me not to put up with crap from a man, after all the crap she has put up with. My mom thinks because I am educated, that any time there is an arguement I should just pack up and go simply because "I don't have to put up with it".

 

I now need help dealing with my mom. Trust me, she would probably like nothing more than for me to divorce my husband, but that is the last thing I want to do! I don't believe in divorce, first of all, second of all, I don't want to be alone in this mean, cruel world. I don't want to go without regular sex, and first and foremost, the friendship me and my husband have incurred, is something I don't want to leave. We are truly great friends. I made the mistake of calling my mom when I was mad at my husband, and now she basically knows our "marital business", so to speak. I wish I would have NEVER confided in her in nothing. I did so because I knew she would side with me and make me feel better about how I felt, but now, it is like she is hanging it over my head. I do believe she is a jealous mother and would rather see me alone than with my husband happy. She grew-up in that generation of women who married the older man, had many children, and was "taken care of". I have done the exact opposite and it just burns her up with all my liberated freedom. I married a man 7 years younger than me, I am the bread-winner, and we do not particularly want any children. It really makes her jealous to see me living the life that she could only fantasize about.

 

So please give me some advice on how to get my mom off my back about my husband. I messed-up by telling her our problems and now she is using them against me. My husband's family (father) has done more for me financially in the few short years (5) that I have been in their family, than my parents have ever done for me. I can't even believe that I would contemplate leaving my husband and his generous family for my parents. How could I be so stupid??!! I seriously do not know where I would be without my husband and his family. They have done so much for me. My parents have not done anything for me my whole life. Seriously, they did not put me through college, they did not buy me a car, and they have never helped me financially when I needed it. They just don't help me period. I know what it would be like if I left my husband. I would all alone, once again, in this world with no help from anyone. My parents are the type of people, even though I do love them, that would not pick me up at the airport or help me fix my car if it was broken-down. This is how they are. My husband would give me anything, and so would his family. I need them in my life and I think my mother is just jealous that I have a real family to actually turn to in times of need, if I need to.

 

So, what do you think? Who can I got to to talk about my marital problems, even as small as they are? I don't really have that many girlfriends to confide in, and I definitely do not want to turn to my mother now, especially after she is acting now. She acts like I should just divorce my husband. It not only hurts my feelings deeply, but after all the crap she has put up with through my dad, how dare her!!

 

Thanks for your advice and Happy Holidays.

You made a choice and a trade off. First off you can have your husband been a house husband

and work part time and take care of the house.

I would def. stop talking to your mom if you can. You cant undo what you have already talked

about but just let it go for now.

If I were you I would attend  marriage counseling and individual counseling and a

marriage support group. There you can vent your feelings and frustrations.

Take your husband to marriage counseling and you go for individual counseling and

support groups.

You can also journal your feelings on paper.

Talk with your husband about how you want your marriage to go. There must be some sort

of compromise you two can make.

 
January 5, 2009, 2:38 pm CST

new year

currently the love of my life husband is located in tallahassee florida and the children and i are living in douglasville ga with my aunt and uncle. i was normally the house wife. my husband was the only one working bills had got so behind that they couldn't be caught up. my husband and i was going through some things so he left went and stayed with a coworker his wife and kids. so it left me and the kids no choice but to leave cause i had no job to do anything and this happen in october we had no heat in the home. well long story short since we have move here i have gotten a job its been hard because we don't have any transportation of our own . my children are sick so that is makeing it even harder for us because they can't do to daycare if they are sick and eventually i loose job. i have talk to my husband he wants to come where we are and start all over again so that our family can be together and live happily ever after but the problem is we don't have the funds we are both barley makeing ends meet on both ends. My three children 7, 4, and 16 months really miss their father and i do to but it seems that it just anything we can do with no funds no transportation and no home of our own to call home. this thanksgiving and christmas was very bad with out him and i just hope and pray that we will never miss another hoilday or even a birthday or our anniversary febuary 9th with our family apart like this. i have been enter all kinds of sweepstakes hopeing to win a car or some cash to get a car and a house to make our wish come true.
 
February 3, 2009, 11:49 pm CST

Married Young

Hello,

I just turned 21 in November and also just celebrated my 2 year anniversary with my husband. We currently live in Washington because my husband is in the navy and we got transfered here in June. I am married to the best guy that anyone could ask for. He is doing a job where he has to leave myself and his 9 month old daughter for long periods of time and even though I know that he gets really sad he always seems to suck it up and tell me that he wants to support his family and will do anything to make sure that we are taken care of. We rarely fight and when we do we make up within 5 minutes. I know that everyone may say that we are still "newly" weds and that this won't last but I like to keep my head held high and believe that men like this really do exist. We went to high school together and lost contact and 2 years ago he contacted me, he was already in the Navy and stationed in Florida. He came down for Christmas and within 2 days of talking and being together we decided to get married and ended up eloping in Vegas. Everyone was telling us not to and that we were doing the stupidest thing that we could ever do, but we didn't care, we knew that we loved each other. And that was the single best decision of my life because I couldn't ask for a better man in my life.

I have a best friend who is also married, she got married because she had gotten pregnant. Now their marriage is horrible. He emotionally abuses her all of the time by calling her degrading names, telling her that she is worthless and that she isn't worth being with.  She just turned 21 while he is still 20. I have told her everything that I know. I've run out of things to say. I guess that I just don't understand how someone can treat someone that they supposedly love the way that he does to her. I grew up in an abusive household and I don't want her or her child to do the same. If any one has any suggestions or anything than that would be great. Should i keep trying to help or just let it go and let her do what she wants? Thank you.

-Carrie

 
February 13, 2009, 2:47 pm CST

I do believe in true love and love at first sight

I watched my husband walking past the window and knew he was special months before we met. That was over 36 years ago. We've had ups and downs over the years as we dealt with all kinds of problems from raising four children, and finances and extended family, but we got through it all together. Sunday is our 34th anniversary and we've never been more in love with each other.
 
February 13, 2009, 3:09 pm CST

true love

 
February 13, 2009, 3:21 pm CST

true love

I'm a true believer of TRUE LOVE.  I know it exists, because of my husband and I.  We have been married for 29 years and still loving it. Yes, problems or disagreements come, but they are NOT ALLOWED to stay.  Our love is stronger than any obstacle.  When you truly love someone, ALL things are open and naked with each other.  So I say to all people, Love yourself and be true to yourself and that special person with the same heart will find his/her way to you.  Thanks for being a beautiful example, Dr. Phil and Robin.  By the way, she always compliment you and you both make each other look good.

 

Keep on sharing and caring,

 

Lesia

 
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