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Topic : True Love

Number of Replies: 1117
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:04:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you believe in true love? How about love at first sight? Is it possible to cheat on someone you love? Can true love die? Tell us what you think!

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October 5, 2005, 2:32 pm CDT

Should I expect him to know?

I have recently decided to label my marriage as separated, until I can figure out what is going wrong. I don't feel loved by my husband. Sometimes I think he just really, really likes the situation. I think he loves having a good wife and great mother that cooks, cleans and is fun, but I don't think he truly loves me or he has become bored with our love. I don't know. I am confused. I told him last night that we are separated, and I moved my stuff into our quest room. I still cook, clean and talk to my husband, but there is no kissing and of course no sex. I told him that he had until I can find a job and a way to leave to prove that he truly loves me. I am afraid he will not figure out how to do just that. He is not creative. I assume he will do the things I ask of him, but as far as being romantic or considerate; I don't think it will happen. Which means, I will really feel unloved and have to leave. I don't want to leave. I don't want to disrupt my son's life and I don't want to be hurt even more.  Should I expect him to know how to prove to me that he loves me or tell him what he should have to do to prove that he is in love and not just happy he nabbed a wife that cooks, cleans and takes care of everything.
 
October 5, 2005, 6:41 pm CDT

True Love

Quote From: mrsvall

I have recently decided to label my marriage as separated, until I can figure out what is going wrong. I don't feel loved by my husband. Sometimes I think he just really, really likes the situation. I think he loves having a good wife and great mother that cooks, cleans and is fun, but I don't think he truly loves me or he has become bored with our love. I don't know. I am confused. I told him last night that we are separated, and I moved my stuff into our quest room. I still cook, clean and talk to my husband, but there is no kissing and of course no sex. I told him that he had until I can find a job and a way to leave to prove that he truly loves me. I am afraid he will not figure out how to do just that. He is not creative. I assume he will do the things I ask of him, but as far as being romantic or considerate; I don't think it will happen. Which means, I will really feel unloved and have to leave. I don't want to leave. I don't want to disrupt my son's life and I don't want to be hurt even more.  Should I expect him to know how to prove to me that he loves me or tell him what he should have to do to prove that he is in love and not just happy he nabbed a wife that cooks, cleans and takes care of everything.
Have you tried tog et him to go to a marriage counselor? Even if he doesn't agree to go, you can still go. it will help you to sort out your feelings and everything as well. It takes two to make a marriage and if he sees that you are willing to work on you then maybe he will see the need to work on himself as well and your marriage. If you are considering your self seperated then why are you cooking and cleaning for him? I think if you mean business then he needs to be accountable for himself, as long as you are there doing all this for him, he will not feel the need to help himself. I personally am 100% for marriage and believe it takes 100% on both parts and sometimes one mayhave to put all the effort in for a while. It takes a lot of work to make a marriage happy and fullfilling and you must do your part tomake things happen. I believe communication is a very imporant key in a marriage and if it isn't there it will surely die. Maybe the two of you should sit down together and have a discussion and listen to each other, he proabbly has needs to that is not being fullfilled. Be honest and opened and willing to do what it takes to keep your marriage going and happy. Yes, ittakes two to make a marriage but sometimes it takes only one to get the ball rolling and actions speak louder then words.
 
October 7, 2005, 7:55 am CDT

Marriage

Don't you all think there should be a show dedicated to people who want to be married and don't know if they are ready for it? I mean, like Dr. Phil said on one show, you have to get a driver's license to drive but not one to be a parent and also to get married. I think all couples who are seriously thinking about getting married should go to counseling to see if they are ready for the next step. I commend Dr.Phil for trying to help those couples who are already in trouble but couldn't some of the problems been prevented if they had one of Dr. Phil's pre-marital boot camp like he did on a previous show with married couples? I'm in a situation where I'm with my boyfriend and we're thinking about going moving to the next step but I think we both want to make sure we're ready for it. My problem is (and probabaly his problem too) how do you know when you're ready?  

 
October 9, 2005, 5:00 pm CDT

sex

Quote From: mrsvall

I have recently decided to label my marriage as separated, until I can figure out what is going wrong. I don't feel loved by my husband. Sometimes I think he just really, really likes the situation. I think he loves having a good wife and great mother that cooks, cleans and is fun, but I don't think he truly loves me or he has become bored with our love. I don't know. I am confused. I told him last night that we are separated, and I moved my stuff into our quest room. I still cook, clean and talk to my husband, but there is no kissing and of course no sex. I told him that he had until I can find a job and a way to leave to prove that he truly loves me. I am afraid he will not figure out how to do just that. He is not creative. I assume he will do the things I ask of him, but as far as being romantic or considerate; I don't think it will happen. Which means, I will really feel unloved and have to leave. I don't want to leave. I don't want to disrupt my son's life and I don't want to be hurt even more.  Should I expect him to know how to prove to me that he loves me or tell him what he should have to do to prove that he is in love and not just happy he nabbed a wife that cooks, cleans and takes care of everything.
One small problem is that men often feel that they are showing their love through sex.  My husband and I have been having many arguments about him unplugging from his family.  sometimes the arguments end in bed.  we have never enjoyed sex so much and it really helps us reconnect because we flirt off and on during the day.  our marriage is far from fixed but i really feel the sex is helping.  (we have 3 kids and I haven't enjoyed sex for about 2 years)
 
October 11, 2005, 7:14 am CDT

No Compassion

I am a 49 yr old woman who has been married for 10 yrs to my husband. (he is my second) I have two adult children and he has two. He is a hard working man and money is his first love. My problem with him is this:  

He is very harsh, verbal, controlling, no compassion, predudice and he doesnt believe there is a God. He has helped my kids from time to time which is great. But, he doesnt let them live it down nor forget. I know he has good intentions but he is just so mean about it.  

I feel secluded from my family because they all live far away. I get to see them but not as often as Id like to. I cant express my feelings to my husband because he makes me feel as if they arent important. He seems to brush them off and blame other people ( my children) for our problems. I have no friends to socialize with. I dont really like envolving my sisters with my problems. Sometimes I do. We have thhings in common but family isnt one of them. There are lots of issues in our relationship and I could go on and on.  

Im feeling insecure about my feelings toward him we havent had sex in four months. Mainly due to me because on the weekends when we have time he starts drinking and brings up my kids and blows my mood. I love him but I dont believe Im In Love with him. I know I stay with him for the financial security. Im afraid that if I left the next guy (if there is a next guy  ) could be worse. I just need friends and someone to talk to . Thanks for listening. 

 
October 11, 2005, 11:26 am CDT

True Love

Hi Dr.Phil, 

 I like to tell you about my Husband. We been togother 10 Yr. He been with me in the good time and bad. I had cancer the 1st. Yr. we where togother and when i told he to goaway he say no he was staying. Then i had something with my heart  and he still stay. And now i have a bad back and cannot work. and He still Love me. I lke to come on your show and till everyone what the man. He is so Loveing. 

                                                      Thank You 

                                                   Shaaunt@yahoo.com 

 
October 11, 2005, 11:01 pm CDT

True Love

I believe in true love and sole mates the whole bit. My relationship has been rocky but we are still wanting each other and no one else after 10 years. It is definitely something we have to work at every day or we chould feel like we have fell out of love with each other. We have told each other that even, but we find out that it is not true. I feel if you have true love you can always make it work. That thing called love is definitely not a easy thing in live because no matter who you are with you can always have differences.
 
October 12, 2005, 7:59 am CDT

fell in love with someone else after 25 yrs of marriage

After 25yrs of marriage & 2 kids & knowing that cheating is wrong-I have falled in love with someone else-it just happened-we have never made love but we're close-we spend alot of time talking on the phone -see each other once in a while-we have grown to know & love each other in ways that neither of us have ever experienced-we've never loved like this ever in our lives(ages 45 & 52). At one time I loved both of them but it's gotten to where I love my husband because I've been with him for so  long but I love this other man so much more.  He wants to marry me & would do it tomorrow if he had a chance.Husband hasnt been so innocent.  As stresses of life come along he hasnt treated me so well recently.  He has cut me down & talked about me & made me feel terrible after years & years of being dedicated to him & my family.  This honestly made me love this other man even more & decide that I want to be with him the rest of my life.  I have a daughter that will graduate soon & feel that we should wait until this time to be together. It's an important time in her life & I (& this other man) don't want to ruin it for her.  The kids have seen how I've been treated & honestly looking back I have not been treated as nicely as I thought I was all of these years & have really been controlled all of these years by my husband & his family.  It really is over as far as I'm concerned. He is the type that will never realize that & cant see anything that he does wrong.  Says he's sorry for the way he has treated me the last couple of years & will make it up to me.  I dont think he can & dont even want him to. It's just so amazing that this has happened to me after all of these years.  It's like it was suppose to happen. We feel that God has given us this beautiful love & kept it going stronger & stronger every day.  Comments please. Thank you. 

 
October 12, 2005, 8:17 am CDT

fell in love with someone else after 25 yrs of marriage

Quote From: lindaz

After 25yrs of marriage & 2 kids & knowing that cheating is wrong-I have falled in love with someone else-it just happened-we have never made love but we're close-we spend alot of time talking on the phone -see each other once in a while-we have grown to know & love each other in ways that neither of us have ever experienced-we've never loved like this ever in our lives(ages 45 & 52). At one time I loved both of them but it's gotten to where I love my husband because I've been with him for so  long but I love this other man so much more.  He wants to marry me & would do it tomorrow if he had a chance.Husband hasnt been so innocent.  As stresses of life come along he hasnt treated me so well recently.  He has cut me down & talked about me & made me feel terrible after years & years of being dedicated to him & my family.  This honestly made me love this other man even more & decide that I want to be with him the rest of my life.  I have a daughter that will graduate soon & feel that we should wait until this time to be together. It's an important time in her life & I (& this other man) don't want to ruin it for her.  The kids have seen how I've been treated & honestly looking back I have not been treated as nicely as I thought I was all of these years & have really been controlled all of these years by my husband & his family.  It really is over as far as I'm concerned. He is the type that will never realize that & cant see anything that he does wrong.  Says he's sorry for the way he has treated me the last couple of years & will make it up to me.  I dont think he can & dont even want him to. It's just so amazing that this has happened to me after all of these years.  It's like it was suppose to happen. We feel that God has given us this beautiful love & kept it going stronger & stronger every day.  Comments please. Thank you. 

It's me again.  I just wanted to add to the original posting & say that this other man & I are both so happy that we love each other but at the same time our hearts are just aching away because we want to be together so bad. Dont know whether to do it now & get it over with or wait for the sake of my daughter or possibly try to explain to her that I am just not happy here anymore.  She is almost 18 years old.
 
October 12, 2005, 2:20 pm CDT

luck is it real

Luck is it a real commodity. 

 
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