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Topic : True Love

Number of Replies: 1117
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:04:36 pm
Author : dataimport
Do you believe in true love? How about love at first sight? Is it possible to cheat on someone you love? Can true love die? Tell us what you think!

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October 12, 2005, 6:32 pm CDT

Still In love

I met my husband In Feb. of 88, by June of 88 we were husband and wife.  We have been married for almost 18 years now.  I love him more with each passing day.  My friend told me years ago that marriage is like a roller-coaster, you have your up and downs so hold on tight for the ride.   We have had dissagreements, but there has not been anything we could not work through.  I don't even look at another man or even think of doing anything.  We have three lovely children, and are very happy and strong.  We have an open communication rule, if it bothers you we must discuss it before we ruin something between us.  I keep our relationship going by planting things in his pockets or if he is going out of town, I pack him a little something.  For example, I have sent him out of town for a trip with a bag of Hershey kisses in his bag and with that a note that said "here is a kiss for each day you are gone or if you just need a kiss for a pick me up.  I do believe in love at first sight, and I also believe in soul mates, one you will find with each passing life.
 
October 13, 2005, 9:32 pm CDT

He wants comfort, not a relationship!!!!!

Quote From: abrahc

One small problem is that men often feel that they are showing their love through sex.  My husband and I have been having many arguments about him unplugging from his family.  sometimes the arguments end in bed.  we have never enjoyed sex so much and it really helps us reconnect because we flirt off and on during the day.  our marriage is far from fixed but i really feel the sex is helping.  (we have 3 kids and I haven't enjoyed sex for about 2 years)

I can fully understand you, and truley hope the best for you.  My husband is doing the same to me, but wants sex to be one of his fringe benifits.  I have three children, am in college, and am unemployed.  He is simply the provider, even though I have to beg for gas money.  I am also looking for a job, and as soon as I can afford it, he is out!!! 

Girl, your husband is like mine, a jerk.  I cannot understand how selfish a person must be to expect it all, and give nothing.  Get a job, and get him the hell out! 

 
October 15, 2005, 11:11 pm CDT

What?

Quote From: freelivin

Luck is it a real commodity. 

What do you mean by that?
 
October 15, 2005, 11:11 pm CDT

wow!

Quote From: itsonlyme

I can fully understand you, and truley hope the best for you.  My husband is doing the same to me, but wants sex to be one of his fringe benifits.  I have three children, am in college, and am unemployed.  He is simply the provider, even though I have to beg for gas money.  I am also looking for a job, and as soon as I can afford it, he is out!!! 

Girl, your husband is like mine, a jerk.  I cannot understand how selfish a person must be to expect it all, and give nothing.  Get a job, and get him the hell out! 

I never thought of it as comfort.  I guess thats why i feel guilty sometimes after.  Its more of me trying everything i can to  make him happy.  I am very confused! 

 
October 16, 2005, 7:58 pm CDT

Internet/Chat Love

Quote From: lindab601

 Hi, I just wanted to say that love is GRAND and it has changed my life tremendously.  The internet is a wonderful tool to find a mate and I didn't join any dating service.  After my divorce in 2000, I was sad and lonely.  But, thanks to the internet, I am happily married to a wonderful man.  He is not perfect and I do not expect that to happen as I have flaws of my own as well.  But together we fit as in emotion, mood and life values.  He lived in Indiana and did move up to Wisconsin, where I live, and together we live in bliss.  Although.  my youngest daughter is not at happy with my man, she does accept the fact that we are happy and her dad is her dad.  My husband does not try or claim to be anything but fair with her such as any situation to do with myself, otherwise is directed to her dad for guidance.  This does create tension at times, but overall things around our new home is happy and healthy.

I to met my current husband online, yes there is to this day alot of  

people that lie and abuse the thoughts and feelings of others online. 

I do not recommend it to everyone, but true love is out there and 

its not nessasarly in your back yard. We have been married 5 yrs 

now, I do  admit even though we chatted online for over a year just as 

friends without any intentions of ever meeting. Therefore alot 

of the communication was easier and free of alot of lies. We had 

nothing to gain from lieing. There to is alot that never gets completely  

understood. Meaning when we met and then married we only thought 

after over a year of chatting we covered all the communication, but learned 

to late that alot was misuderstood or not covered at all. But because 

we both are committed to our marriage are willing to comprimise on 

the other stuff. We are determined to make it work, because we learned 

from the beginning that we both hold total committment to each other 

our top prioity. Which was our first attraction the shared values and goals. 

 
October 16, 2005, 8:09 pm CDT

cheating is cheating

Quote From: lindaz

After 25yrs of marriage & 2 kids & knowing that cheating is wrong-I have falled in love with someone else-it just happened-we have never made love but we're close-we spend alot of time talking on the phone -see each other once in a while-we have grown to know & love each other in ways that neither of us have ever experienced-we've never loved like this ever in our lives(ages 45 & 52). At one time I loved both of them but it's gotten to where I love my husband because I've been with him for so  long but I love this other man so much more.  He wants to marry me & would do it tomorrow if he had a chance.Husband hasnt been so innocent.  As stresses of life come along he hasnt treated me so well recently.  He has cut me down & talked about me & made me feel terrible after years & years of being dedicated to him & my family.  This honestly made me love this other man even more & decide that I want to be with him the rest of my life.  I have a daughter that will graduate soon & feel that we should wait until this time to be together. It's an important time in her life & I (& this other man) don't want to ruin it for her.  The kids have seen how I've been treated & honestly looking back I have not been treated as nicely as I thought I was all of these years & have really been controlled all of these years by my husband & his family.  It really is over as far as I'm concerned. He is the type that will never realize that & cant see anything that he does wrong.  Says he's sorry for the way he has treated me the last couple of years & will make it up to me.  I dont think he can & dont even want him to. It's just so amazing that this has happened to me after all of these years.  It's like it was suppose to happen. We feel that God has given us this beautiful love & kept it going stronger & stronger every day.  Comments please. Thank you. 

And for me whether its coming from the husband or the wife its no 

different. It is wrong none the less. If your marriage has failed then get out of 

it. However dont look for the happiness in another while your still married. 

Getting out of a stale marriage is one thing, but cheating while your still  

married or living with your spouse is out right sick. Sorry its my comment. 

 
October 18, 2005, 6:36 am CDT

True Love

Quote From: niteshadow

And for me whether its coming from the husband or the wife its no 

different. It is wrong none the less. If your marriage has failed then get out of 

it. However dont look for the happiness in another while your still married. 

Getting out of a stale marriage is one thing, but cheating while your still  

married or living with your spouse is out right sick. Sorry its my comment. 

I want you to know that I feel love is wonderful, but what about the man you stood in front of God with and promised fidelity?  Cheating is wrong, to put it in a nutshell.  Lets put it this way, what if you found out your husband was in the same situation with another woman?  I venture to say that you would be crushed.  You are a woman who has successfully raised beutiful children with the man you have promised an eternity.  And in my opinion, marriage is like an insurance policy.  You join when you are young and crazy, learn who you are and how to live as a couple through life, and the reward is living your retirement and growing old knowing someone will always be there. 

Do you think you are taking this man for granted?  He has been good enough for this long, doesn't he deserve the best?   

please be the best woman you can be, please don't cheat until you are seperated.  God may have put this new man in your life, but not as a gift, maybe as a test.  Ask God for his help on this one. 

 
October 18, 2005, 8:45 am CDT

True Love?

Hi I am a single mother and have been for 11 years now. I have spent a large part of the last 11 years learning, growing and pulling a life together. I wonder about true love. Does it exsist? I am in a relationship now for 6 years and although we have had our ups and downs we seem to always be willing to work things through and mayb that is what true love is. The willingness to always want to work things through. Although there is a problem. I after putting myself through school and raising my children and learning to take care of and support myself. I have achieved the goals I have sought out when I went through my divorce. Now after 6 years with this man I am ready to move things to the next level. That is to have a life together and have asked him if he would consider moving in and making a home together. I was devistated to find out that he seems to be content with just being the boyfriend and does not seem to want to bring our lives together. I am both hurt and confused. I suppose all this time it has been an unspoken understanding between us that the dy would come when we would pull a life together. my kids are grown, I have a son 12 who still lives with me, but for the most part I soon will have the empty nest. That does not botther me too much except that I had hoped that in this stage of my life I would be able to move toward a companion whom I would either marry or who I could share a life with full-time. I thought this man was it. I guess i assumed wrong. So I am not sure what to do. I do not want to live my life alone and do hope for a partner to share my life with someday. Any comment or feed back on my situation would be appreciated, since I am at this moment in a tate of confusion.
 
October 18, 2005, 11:12 am CDT

True love or Marriage?

I met my true love when I was finishing college (I was 22 and he was 30)  We had a great relationship, we were so good together.  I tried to get him to settle down with me because I was tired of dating and wanted commitment, and when I found the right one, why drag it out?  He was not ready to settle down yet.   

  

I was introduced to my husband at this same time.  He was totally in love with me, I was not ( he was not my true love).  I dated my husband to try and get my true love to realize that I would move on, if he didn't commit to me (Immature, i know) Any way my husband convinced me to move to a different city to live with him and 3 months later he proposed and 6 months after that we were married (very rushed...  We were married just at a year from when we first met).  I thought that if I couldn't have my true love, then security was second best.  I didn't know about all the "family drama" he had on his side of the family (lots of problems)  I didn't know about all the debt he had accrued before meeting me (didn't find out till 2 years later) I didn't realize how affected he was by the troubled childhood he was raised in.  We have a son 2 years old.  I quit work when I had him, because that is what I wanted to do my whole life, stay home and take care of the kids.  We are in financial trouble.  I had no idea how bad until 2 years ago, after quitting my job to stay home.  He had told me we were in good shape and most everything should be paid off by the time I quit.  Well that was far from the truth.  My parents helped us out and we are still in bad shape.  He is in denial.  I took over the finances because he wasn't paying everything on time or every month.  He is also VERY perticular about how the house is kept.  He comes home from work complaining about how messy the house is (when it is not a mess).  He even makes jokes to his mom (who is also a neat freak) about how I don't keep up the house very well.  She even comes over and cleans the house when she is here!  So I don't have the security I wanted from my husband. 

  

I never have got my true love out of my mind.  I think about him alot, even dream about him (us being married, etc.) Right after I had our son, my true love wrote me a short note asking what had become of me...was I married, any kids, etc.  I didn't respond.  I didn't know what to say (I made a big mistake I am in love with you, but I am married with a new baby.)  Any way I continue to think about him and this week I got the nerve to contact him and see how he was doing, if he was married, any kids, and could we try to keep in touch with each other.  Expecting him to have moved on and hoping he would remember me from 5 years ago.  To my surprise he has never been married and no kids.  He said didn't know what he had till I left town.  He wanted to tell me not to leave, but he thought I was happy with my husband and didn't want to cause problems.  He told me he was being punnished from God for letting me go.  He said he can't find anyone that can even compare to the relationship we had together.  I am now very confused...  Do I stay in my marriage and be okay and raise our son or do I leave to find true love, and be excited about my life?  Please, any advice would be appreciated.  Thanks. 

 
October 18, 2005, 11:53 am CDT

help me to understand

I am getting married on Saturday.  It will be a 2nd marriage for him, but 3rd for me.   The problem I am experiencing is that he and his family keeps up with his ex-wife and it bothers me.  They do not have any children and don't talk directly with each other.  Occasional emails that completed the divorce agreements.  She initiated the divorce and moved across the country - that was 5 years ago.  However he has kept up with her and tells me about any 'new' news that is passed along by his family.  He has stated that because she was a part of this life for 10 years that he is interested in her and what she is doing with her life.  I don't understand this and it really hurts.  Several of his family members let him know that she is getting married this weekend and so are we and now it's a big discussion on how odd it is that they are getting married on the same weekend.  Am I wrong to want him to let it go.  He states that by me asking that - that I am asking him to forget his past, but I am asking for him to let go of her present and future.  I did have issues in the past hearing about them and their life together, but it was only because he said that if she came into town he would want to meet her for dinner - just to catch up and see what was going on with her.      I have children from my 1st marriage - and we both communicate with their father.  However, my second marriage is not a subject.  I do not have any communication with him.  My family does not ask about him nor do I seek any information.  Am I expecting too much?  Am I wrong to feel this way.  I just don't understand why he feels it is necessary for him to keep up with her.
 
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