Topic : True Love

Hi there

Oh the first year of marriage!  I am into month four - oh the fun!

I think when we get married its very natural to think about the past and previous loves.  When you are married and especially for the first year it hits you that this is the rest of your life and your mind does wander.

There where men in my past that I had a strong connection with and the connection I have with my partner is now so different.  I can think of one man in particular where it was like a soul, intimate connection, very lusty I suppose.  I don't think the connection had any longevity in it.  The connection I have with my husband is very stable, trusting, honest and secure.  Its the connection you need for marriage.

Your husband needs to make you his priority.  Its not his responsibility to parent his parents.  Or bail them out when they hit a poor spot in the month.  Put your foot down and demand it, its your right. 

As for your sex life, no wonder you don't feel like sex when all of this is lacking somewhat.  I just went out to dinner with my husband and we had a discussion about creating some rules that we need for the sake of our marriage.  I would like to encourage you to do the same, have these chats and have them often so he doesn't get the opportunity to get slack.  Once you get the connecting happening and the talking flowing, I think the sex will follow.

Good luck,

Jo x

Hi everyone.

I'm hoping someone out there will have some advice for me. And it's nice to see other people who have met thier spouse through the internet and are really happy. Everyone looks at me kinda funny when I tell them where I met my husband.

Anyway on to my question. My husband and I love each other very much but we have been fighting lately about things that aren't really issues. Let me explain.

When we first started dating we promised each other we wouldn't take out the hurt etc caused by others on each other. of course we've both broken that promise but not intentionally.

He just got out of active duty Army but before that he spent a year of our relationship in South Korea. He got upset when I started hanging out with some new friends. At one point while I was telling him about them he said to me " next thing you're gonna tell me he's a good listener". Because another girl he had dated had cheated on him several times and this was a similar situation. Not because he thought I would but because of an old hurt, an old fear.

I am constantly afraid he'll leave me or cheat on me. Not because of anything he's ever done, but because it's happened to me so many times before, my mind has trained itself to expect it. I have been cheated on or left by everyone, and I mean litterally everyone in my life. I trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone. And I don't truly believe he would ever do that but.....

I never believed my ex husband would either and he had an affair with my sister.

It's just causing so much tension in our marriage and that causes problems when really there is nothing wrong with our marriage. We are both very happy and in love. We just can't seem to get old stuff out of the way long enough to really enjoy it.

It ends up feeling like we can't stand each other when thats definately not the case.

So what do we do to keep these old fears and hurts from ruining our marriage?

Hi, my husband will sometimes wake me up in the middle of the night and feed me a late night snack, dinner, or an early breakfast. I made the mistake of telling my immediate family this (siblings and parents).

My brother says that this is terrible that my husband would wake me up in the middle of the night and feed me anything in bed.

Is this soooooooooooo terrible???!!! Please respond!!  Thank you.

Do you struggle with weight?  Why does he do this?  If he is doing this for selfish reasons (like he is insecure and thinks he can control you if you are overweight) then it is a terrible thing to do.  If he is being nice, like he got himself a snack and knows that it is one of your favorite foods, and wants to share with you, then it is very sweet and cute.  I think you should know better than anyone if it is so terrible. 

Of course it is not wrong to love someone still.  You cannot help how you feel about someone.  If she definitely has made up her mind, though, not much you can do about it.  Why was religion such a major part of it all?  Where did she go when she left?  Does she stay in contact with you or are you contacting her?  Is she saying she no longer loves you, so is unwilling to make any attempt to try again?  All you can do is go through the pain and you will heal your heart, but if you are reminded of her all the time, by contacting her, seems it will only bring it all back to you.  If she is sure it is over, you must accept it and move on; even through the pain. Good luck mmarie

Hi, he is doing it to be sweet. I do not really struggle with my weight. I have been a size 12 now for about five years. I was like an 8 or 10 in high school and I am almost 40. My family can be so negative towards my husband and he is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. Yes, I am the bread-winner (for now), but I also have a Masters degree. I would hope to make more money than anybody with less education. My husband is providing the insurance (medical and dental) right now for us both and I am sooooooooo thankful. It has been years since I have "been covered" being a student and all.

I love my husband sooooooo much and we truly, on a scale of 1 to 10, I would say our marriage is an 8. I made the mistake of calling my mom and sisters during one of our arguements and now they think we argue or fight all the time. It makes me mad because they are all married, so they KNOW that married life is a lot of hard work and dedication and it does not come without its ups and downs, but OVERALL, I am truly very happy!

My oldest sister thinks I am secretly gay because of a brief homosexual relationship I had when I was 18 and on drugs (extasy). It really pisses me off because she always makes these inuendos on the phone with me about lesbian sex (as if I want that). It makes me so mad because I feel my family may think my marriage is a hoax or something. But, me and my husband are so dedicated to each other and I can not wait to grow old with him. Trust me when you are on drugs you will sleep with just about anybody, but I am not gay and I do not even really consider myself bisexual anymore. Nevertheless, I want a relationship with a man and I do not ever want to live a "gay" lifestyle. Some gays believe this is not a lifestyle, but it is. I mean really, it is!

Thanks for your comments. Any more would be appreciated!!