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Topic : 10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 136
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Created on : Friday, September 29, 2006, 09:45:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil has reinforcement today – Robin joins him to answer all your burning questions! They also have special help from several speakers from Women of Faith, a faith-based organization encouraging women of all ages to grow in faith and spiritual maturity. First up are best friends, Barbara and Laurie, who both suffer from agoraphobia. Laurie hates to be in crowded places, and Barbara can’t comfortably leave a five-mile radius of her home. It’s a vicious cycle they’ve been sharing for 16 years. Patsy, a Women of Faith speaker who lost six years of her life to agoraphobia, shares how the women can get over their disorder. Then, Marilyn has been afraid of catching germs since she was in the 6th grade, and even gives her friends latex gloves to wear! What’s behind her fears? And, Jodi wrote to Dr. Phil because she doesn’t trust her husband, Scott’s, ability to fly his homemade helicopter. Scott says his wife needs to be more trusting. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a mom who says she never puts herself first wants Robin’s help. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 9, 2006, 6:37 pm CDT

Women of Faith

http://www.christianity.com/religiontoday/1433269.aspx  An article on Women of Faith I found today....for those interested.

 

I was so excited to see these women on your show.  The conference is awesome!

 

I was disappointed, though, that they didn't mention the reason behind what they do or why they have gotten through what they got through...

 
October 10, 2006, 7:38 am CDT

Agree

Quote From: elffie

I didn't see anything wrong with the show.  The Dr. Phil show is about people, not God.  A show about people who have problems and need help with it.  I don't think the cure to the agorophobics is Jesus.  Not that I would mind if Dr. Phil talked about him, but really, these people needed to hear what would help, not that believing in Jesus would take care of their problem.  I wouldn't have been satisfied if Dr. Phil told me that all I needed to do was believe in Jesus and my problem would go away and I don't think those ladies would've liked it as well.

 

You were disappointed in the whole show?  Just becasue they didn't talk about God?  Never mind that Dr. Phil  he was helping people.  It is possible to help people without God.

 

Take care.

I have a daughter with bipolar and I am bipolar as well.... I do have bouts of social phobia.


While I believe I need to have faith in God, I know just believing in God will not cure my illness.  God gave me bipolar for a reason. I have faith that He knows what my plan is.  I take many meds to stablize me, as well as therapy.  I have to work hard to control my illness.

 

I honestly would have been mad if Dr Phil got on stage and said just believe in God and you will be cured.  There is no cure for bipolar. therefore praying to God will not make it go away.  Praying to God helps me make it through the day but the medication I take is what I need to be functional.

 

If I want to watch a show speak of God, I would turn to a christian show produced for that reason. Dr Phil is a talk show host not a preacher. 

 

I agree with your post said :)

 
October 10, 2006, 5:02 pm CDT

Women who let themselves go

I just don't get why there are SO many shows on the topic of women not caring for themselves because they are too busy taking care of their family.  They act like this is some noble gesture.  Ladies, it's not!.  If you don't take pride in yourself - your children won't either.  I remember growing up - I am now 50 - and I was always so proud of my mother.  She took VERY good care of our family AND she was/is a beautiful woman too!  I remember coming home from school and the house smelling so good because she always took her bath before "Daddy" came home from work.  She had 3 children and I was always proud to have my mother come to school or to be seen with her because I thought she was the prettiest Mom out there.  And NO, she wasn't a beauty queen or anything special - just my Mom.  But, she always told me how important it was to be a lady, take care of yourself and have pride.  She didn't dress sloppy and her hair and make-up was done.  You are not doing your children a favor by catering to their every whim and leaving no time for yourself.  You are teaching them that You are worthless and your only purpose in life was to give the world more wonderful, selfish, lazy children with no pride - because that IS what they will become.  That is all they were taught!  Perhaps that is why so many of our children are conflicted and have SO many problems.  Our daughters still don't know what roles they can play except be a mother and devote every minute to the kids and our sons have no value for women because their mothers had no value for themselves.  I wish there were a less harsh way to write this letter, I am kind person, but Ladies, you need to bop yourselves on the head and wake up!  You have control - take it!
 
October 11, 2006, 9:39 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: kimvse

I just don't get why there are SO many shows on the topic of women not caring for themselves because they are too busy taking care of their family.  They act like this is some noble gesture.  Ladies, it's not!.  If you don't take pride in yourself - your children won't either.  I remember growing up - I am now 50 - and I was always so proud of my mother.  She took VERY good care of our family AND she was/is a beautiful woman too!  I remember coming home from school and the house smelling so good because she always took her bath before "Daddy" came home from work.  She had 3 children and I was always proud to have my mother come to school or to be seen with her because I thought she was the prettiest Mom out there.  And NO, she wasn't a beauty queen or anything special - just my Mom.  But, she always told me how important it was to be a lady, take care of yourself and have pride.  She didn't dress sloppy and her hair and make-up was done.  You are not doing your children a favor by catering to their every whim and leaving no time for yourself.  You are teaching them that You are worthless and your only purpose in life was to give the world more wonderful, selfish, lazy children with no pride - because that IS what they will become.  That is all they were taught!  Perhaps that is why so many of our children are conflicted and have SO many problems.  Our daughters still don't know what roles they can play except be a mother and devote every minute to the kids and our sons have no value for women because their mothers had no value for themselves.  I wish there were a less harsh way to write this letter, I am kind person, but Ladies, you need to bop yourselves on the head and wake up!  You have control - take it!
I didn't see anybody claiming it is a noble gesture.  It's great that your Mom was so successful in this area.  Some of us haven't been, and that is what the Dr. Phil show was talking about.  After seeing this episode, I intend to work to improve my grooming habits and my wardrobe.
 
October 13, 2006, 1:44 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: kimvse

I just don't get why there are SO many shows on the topic of women not caring for themselves because they are too busy taking care of their family.  They act like this is some noble gesture.  Ladies, it's not!.  If you don't take pride in yourself - your children won't either.  I remember growing up - I am now 50 - and I was always so proud of my mother.  She took VERY good care of our family AND she was/is a beautiful woman too!  I remember coming home from school and the house smelling so good because she always took her bath before "Daddy" came home from work.  She had 3 children and I was always proud to have my mother come to school or to be seen with her because I thought she was the prettiest Mom out there.  And NO, she wasn't a beauty queen or anything special - just my Mom.  But, she always told me how important it was to be a lady, take care of yourself and have pride.  She didn't dress sloppy and her hair and make-up was done.  You are not doing your children a favor by catering to their every whim and leaving no time for yourself.  You are teaching them that You are worthless and your only purpose in life was to give the world more wonderful, selfish, lazy children with no pride - because that IS what they will become.  That is all they were taught!  Perhaps that is why so many of our children are conflicted and have SO many problems.  Our daughters still don't know what roles they can play except be a mother and devote every minute to the kids and our sons have no value for women because their mothers had no value for themselves.  I wish there were a less harsh way to write this letter, I am kind person, but Ladies, you need to bop yourselves on the head and wake up!  You have control - take it!
 I would like to know if you have any children? And you said you are 50 yrs. old. So if you do have children did you stay at home or did you work? I know alot has changed since you raised kids -if you have kids. I remember growing up my mother always doing for us kids. And now she is 60 and she is just now doing for herself!! I am a mother of two children one is3.5 and the other is 6months and I'm a working mother.This day in age both parents have to work to provide the  needs for the family. I know where Misty is coming from.And I can say 95% of mothers know where misty is coming from because we all are in her shoes!! So please don't knock down women who are trying to do what is best for themselves and their families! We as mothers and Women have to be proud of ourselves and take care of ourselves!!! 
 
October 13, 2006, 5:56 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: kimvse

I just don't get why there are SO many shows on the topic of women not caring for themselves because they are too busy taking care of their family.  They act like this is some noble gesture.  Ladies, it's not!.  If you don't take pride in yourself - your children won't either.  I remember growing up - I am now 50 - and I was always so proud of my mother.  She took VERY good care of our family AND she was/is a beautiful woman too!  I remember coming home from school and the house smelling so good because she always took her bath before "Daddy" came home from work.  She had 3 children and I was always proud to have my mother come to school or to be seen with her because I thought she was the prettiest Mom out there.  And NO, she wasn't a beauty queen or anything special - just my Mom.  But, she always told me how important it was to be a lady, take care of yourself and have pride.  She didn't dress sloppy and her hair and make-up was done.  You are not doing your children a favor by catering to their every whim and leaving no time for yourself.  You are teaching them that You are worthless and your only purpose in life was to give the world more wonderful, selfish, lazy children with no pride - because that IS what they will become.  That is all they were taught!  Perhaps that is why so many of our children are conflicted and have SO many problems.  Our daughters still don't know what roles they can play except be a mother and devote every minute to the kids and our sons have no value for women because their mothers had no value for themselves.  I wish there were a less harsh way to write this letter, I am kind person, but Ladies, you need to bop yourselves on the head and wake up!  You have control - take it!
"Perhaps that is why so many of our children are conflicted and have SO many problems."

Are you serious? Really? You think "so many" of our kids have problems because their mom's happen to not care a lot about looks?

A person can be full and complete and raise kids and still not give a lick about superficial things like make up and hair and clothes. This will not damage kids, it probably won't do anything...the MOST it can do is to teach them that an attractive put together package isn't always so put together inside.

What you are saying strikes me as very shallow.
 
October 13, 2006, 8:34 pm CDT

Sometimes, it's the way you were raised

Quote From: purplepenny

"Perhaps that is why so many of our children are conflicted and have SO many problems."

Are you serious? Really? You think "so many" of our kids have problems because their mom's happen to not care a lot about looks?

A person can be full and complete and raise kids and still not give a lick about superficial things like make up and hair and clothes. This will not damage kids, it probably won't do anything...the MOST it can do is to teach them that an attractive put together package isn't always so put together inside.

What you are saying strikes me as very shallow.

I think we have to look at the way we were raised.  Did we see our mom trying to cover it all? Did we see our dad pitching in to to help make it work?

 

In our family, I go to work to take care of special needs kids, come home to our home office to do my husband's paperwork for his business (he's out in the field), pick kids up from school and then start dinner.  At 43, my husband and I will be married for 22 years before the end of this month.  As I was growing up, I saw my mom make some of the same sacrifices for her family.  How do you get out of the place your at?  Who gets shorted on time?  It seems so easy sometimes for someone to look in from the outisde and try and tell you how you should do it.  I just don't see a way to make it any easier for me. 

 

For me, it's important to be a mom and take care of my family.  Sometimes, my own needs do have to sit on the back burner.  I don't try and make that happen, it just does.  I think it's a season in your life.  I know this season will end and my kids will be grown and gone.  I have one in college, a senior in high school and one in junior high.  This time is going by so quickly and then I will wish that they were still here.  I look forward to the future, but know that I have to do the very best I can while they are here.   I am glad I took the time, even if I was tired and didn't meet all of my needs, to help form my children's ideas about their faith, their life and their own responsibilities in the families they will have in the future.

 

 You have no idea how many children I see at school each day who do not have a mom, or dad, that puts them as a priortiy in their life.  They have low self esteem, and are trying to figure out too many things on their own.  I think we all need to find a balance.  I don't think it can be one way or the other.  Our society with the media the way it is, makes us all think that we should be number one. 

 

Is it bad for us to want to take care of our families, at the expense of missing out on time for ourselves? 

 
October 14, 2006, 1:14 am CDT

agree with you

Quote From: cerwin1963

I think we have to look at the way we were raised.  Did we see our mom trying to cover it all? Did we see our dad pitching in to to help make it work?

 

In our family, I go to work to take care of special needs kids, come home to our home office to do my husband's paperwork for his business (he's out in the field), pick kids up from school and then start dinner.  At 43, my husband and I will be married for 22 years before the end of this month.  As I was growing up, I saw my mom make some of the same sacrifices for her family.  How do you get out of the place your at?  Who gets shorted on time?  It seems so easy sometimes for someone to look in from the outisde and try and tell you how you should do it.  I just don't see a way to make it any easier for me. 

 

For me, it's important to be a mom and take care of my family.  Sometimes, my own needs do have to sit on the back burner.  I don't try and make that happen, it just does.  I think it's a season in your life.  I know this season will end and my kids will be grown and gone.  I have one in college, a senior in high school and one in junior high.  This time is going by so quickly and then I will wish that they were still here.  I look forward to the future, but know that I have to do the very best I can while they are here.   I am glad I took the time, even if I was tired and didn't meet all of my needs, to help form my children's ideas about their faith, their life and their own responsibilities in the families they will have in the future.

 

 You have no idea how many children I see at school each day who do not have a mom, or dad, that puts them as a priortiy in their life.  They have low self esteem, and are trying to figure out too many things on their own.  I think we all need to find a balance.  I don't think it can be one way or the other.  Our society with the media the way it is, makes us all think that we should be number one. 

 

Is it bad for us to want to take care of our families, at the expense of missing out on time for ourselves? 

No, it's not bad.  And happy anniversary.  All of what you say is true, and good parenting is way more important than just looking good, but in my case (and I think the young woman on the show) I'd gotten so engrossed in the parenting thing that trying to look good had gotten pretty much CROSSED OFF the list of things I ever even think about.  For me, the show was a reminder that this is out of balance, and it's time to make adjustments.
 
October 14, 2006, 1:44 pm CDT

how about men of faith

Hey everyone, I just thought of something. If there is a women of faith, how about someone start a men of faith. There are some men, like myself, who would love to have an organization where men from all over the country can get together and share God's wonderful grace and mercy. Let me know what you all think.   God bless.
 
October 14, 2006, 2:33 pm CDT

Thanks!! Thanks!! Thanks!!

Hello, My name is Misty and I was the young mother who appeared on the Ask Dr Phil and Robin show. First, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who wrote such nice words of encouragement and advice. Since appearing on the show my friend Jenni and I have both been to see our doctor and have had complete physicals. We both joined a gym and have been working out together. I'm taking baby steps to change my habits of putting my family and friends first and feel confident that I will succeed. Something the Dr Phil show edited on the program was that I learned alot from my mother who was a single mother of 3 girls. I never saw my mother do anything for herself nor did we have the money but what my mother did give to us was unconditional love. I have a wonderful relationship with my mother and my boys and I are very close. It's not about my hair, my clothes, or my spa package. It's about taking care of myself so that I can be around for my children and one day my grandchildren. I appreciate everyone who posted messages  directly to me and I have taken your advice to heart. I will work harder to raise my boys to take care of themselves, to respect that their mom and one day their wives will take care of themselves too. It really hit me when I watched the show from home. I didn't really realize what I had been doing to myself until I was on stage seeing the video footage for the first time during the filming. It was really hard to open my life up to the whole world but I did it for myself and hopefully to help other women. I used to work full time and then after my second child I decided to stay at home and make extra money by watching toddlers out of my house. I've been on both sides of the tracks and can tell you it's hard to make time for yourself either way you chose to help support your family. But taking one day at a time and finding one hour here or there ( and letting some housework take the backseat ) is something that needs to be learned by every women. I'm making the choice now to not lose myself but to find myself again and having the support of my wonderful family and my friends (especially Jenni) I will succeed. Thanks again to everyone!!!!
 
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