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Topic : 10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 136
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Created on : Friday, September 29, 2006, 09:45:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil has reinforcement today – Robin joins him to answer all your burning questions! They also have special help from several speakers from Women of Faith, a faith-based organization encouraging women of all ages to grow in faith and spiritual maturity. First up are best friends, Barbara and Laurie, who both suffer from agoraphobia. Laurie hates to be in crowded places, and Barbara can’t comfortably leave a five-mile radius of her home. It’s a vicious cycle they’ve been sharing for 16 years. Patsy, a Women of Faith speaker who lost six years of her life to agoraphobia, shares how the women can get over their disorder. Then, Marilyn has been afraid of catching germs since she was in the 6th grade, and even gives her friends latex gloves to wear! What’s behind her fears? And, Jodi wrote to Dr. Phil because she doesn’t trust her husband, Scott’s, ability to fly his homemade helicopter. Scott says his wife needs to be more trusting. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a mom who says she never puts herself first wants Robin’s help. Talk about the show here.

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October 3, 2006, 10:24 pm CDT

be a woman

A staying home young mom doesn't take care of herself. She feels quilt when sombody else takes care of her children. Hence, she refuses help. Robin sends her to SPA and shopping.  It sounds like fun but how  this is going to solve her problems? I am in the same situation. I am a new mom and I want to be with my baby all the time. I refuse help, I am exhausted, I have seperation anxiety when away from my baby. Finally, I have a lot of quilt when I have other people to take care of my son. I can go to the SPA, I can spend $1000 shopping, I can afford a full-time nanny. It doesn't  help. For those women whose limited budget doesn't allow such a life-style - It doesn't help. Spending money in the mall doen't make you more a woman, it also doesn't take away a quilt and anxiety.

Hanna

 

 
October 3, 2006, 10:52 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: lk83151

I also was very disappointed that more focus wasn't given to the Women of Faith. These are extraordinary women and their message of faith, hope and love is extremely important to EVERYONE!! Religion has very little to do with these women....it is their RELATIONSHIP with their Lord Jesus Christ that makes them who they are!
I don't understand, this "Women of Faith" is a Christian thing? I thought it was a multi-religious conference.
 
October 3, 2006, 11:05 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: hannamurphy

A staying home young mom doesn't take care of herself. She feels quilt when sombody else takes care of her children. Hence, she refuses help. Robin sends her to SPA and shopping.  It sounds like fun but how  this is going to solve her problems? I am in the same situation. I am a new mom and I want to be with my baby all the time. I refuse help, I am exhausted, I have seperation anxiety when away from my baby. Finally, I have a lot of quilt when I have other people to take care of my son. I can go to the SPA, I can spend $1000 shopping, I can afford a full-time nanny. It doesn't  help. For those women whose limited budget doesn't allow such a life-style - It doesn't help. Spending money in the mall doen't make you more a woman, it also doesn't take away a quilt and anxiety.

Hanna

 

Going to a spa and shopping might do you a world of good. Your baby will survive in the hands of someone you love for a few hours. That is what it might help you learn.

My daughter was a tiny preemie and I let her spend the night in a hotel with my MIL who was visiting from out of town when she was only 1 month out of the hospital. She survived and I survived and my MIL and my daughter got to bond.

My daughter is now 2 1/2 and she spends the night at her grandparents house once a month or so. It help her bond with them and it give me time off.

You do not cease to be a woman and and individual just because you give birth. That is what shopping and a spa is meant to show.

You refuse help why? Why would you stop someone who wants to help you? You are exhausted...why would you refuse time to recoup? You will be a better mother if you are a FULL and WELL person. Trust me.
 
October 3, 2006, 11:34 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: hannamurphy

A staying home young mom doesn't take care of herself. She feels quilt when sombody else takes care of her children. Hence, she refuses help. Robin sends her to SPA and shopping.  It sounds like fun but how  this is going to solve her problems? I am in the same situation. I am a new mom and I want to be with my baby all the time. I refuse help, I am exhausted, I have seperation anxiety when away from my baby. Finally, I have a lot of quilt when I have other people to take care of my son. I can go to the SPA, I can spend $1000 shopping, I can afford a full-time nanny. It doesn't  help. For those women whose limited budget doesn't allow such a life-style - It doesn't help. Spending money in the mall doen't make you more a woman, it also doesn't take away a quilt and anxiety.

Hanna

 

YES YES YES!!! I know what your saying! When you have children, they are your life, you Don't come first, you just don't. I don't have a babysitter for my two kids, I run all my errands with them. One of my friends likes to help me out when she comes to visit, she'll help me with the chores, or take the kids to the park so I can have a break, but I just spend all my time worrying about them and how she's handling things. I don't understand how parents can have other ppl watch their kids so often, I don't even feel like myself when my kids aren't around. I have an easy way to make myself happy though, I give my kids their bath in the morn right after my shower, instead of just sitting and watching them play, I'll straighten my hair and do my make-up really nice, then my day goes better. When a woman looks good she feels good, it doesn't take that much effort. You can still take good care of yourself, eat every meal with your children as well, today for lunch we all had chicken noodle soup with bread and butter, yum 4 all, took 5 min. to prepare.
 
October 4, 2006, 12:36 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: adayisforever

Hello all.

 

This is my first time posting but the topic on the Dr. Phil show today made me want to post hoping to meet others and get advice from ones who suffer from what I suffer from. I do feel like I'm in prison within myself and no one understands. People around me say "get over it," "get out anyway," even the psychiatrist I see had the nerve to tell me to get out of the house and get use the the noise of the world. He more then anyone should understand. If I could go out don't you think I would.

 

I've been diagnosed as sever depression and social anxiety. I don't feel I am depressed but the uncaring psychiatrist I go to diagnoses everyone the same and says all of it is the same. From researching on my own I found I do have  agoraphobia and avoidant personality disorder but the psychiatrist I see won't take me seriously. What I have goes beyond depression. I don't have very good health insurance so I can't see a doctor who is experienced in what I have.  I live in a little city so the doctors where I live don't know about the new peronality disorders if you know what I mean. All they know where I live is depression and bipolar. They don't know how to treat avoidant personality disorder or agoraphobia.

 

I grew in an abusive household and face abuse from school - physical, emotional, and mental. I had no safe place. Because of the humiliation and degradation I faced all my life around middle  school time I fought not to go to school and I hardly if ever went. I surprisingly graduated from school but my attendance record was horrible. Even in high school I found myself uncomfortable around crowds, speaking in front of people. I almost failed a class because I was too fearful to get up in front of the class to give a speech and no one understood why. I didn't even then. Everyone thought I was just being lazy and didn't want to do work or go to school but it was more then that. I realize it now. In school I feared the other children and with good reason. I'm in my twenties now and after four years I'm starting to understand myself and what's wrong and what made me the way I am.

 

Avoidant personality disorder basically means fear, extreme, paralyzing fear of people, of being humiliated, disliked, fear of doing something wrong, fear of looking stupid. I do have fear of going to big places and crowds. Anytime I do have to go somewhere I dread it for days. I hardly if ever leave the house. I feel my home is a safe place for me to hide and I won't get hurt here. I wish I had someone to talk to who would really listen and understand and know what I'm going through. I'm tried of these half-baked psychiatrist who only hear you for less then 5 minutes then try to diagnose you but if you don't have the right insurance they won't give you the right meds and plus you won't get the right doctors. Sometimes the doctors look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them what I feel is wrong with me since they don't know.  I'm black and it's really hard having the condition I have in a race that considers mental illness taboo or crazy. Some make you feel shame in the black community if you have anxieties or phobias. So I really can't talk to no one within my family, community, or race.

 

My email is ImHappeningNow@aol.com

I would like to make email-pals who can relate to me and would love to hear from anyone who can guide me to finding a good psychiatrist or therapist.

You seem very intellegent for someone who has missed so much school.  There are sites for anxiety and your problems so why not do a search and  find someone to talk to on those boards? They can give you advice and help books or a program to join.  Maybe your local mental health center will have a support group  for your problems.

 

I know it is important to get a therapist who understands the problem so do a search in your community. Maybe you will find someone who is willing to learn about your problems if you go to them. You might be able to go on a pro-rated basis with the amount of money you have. Good luck and keep trying to get better. 

 
October 4, 2006, 2:03 am CDT

Homemade Helicopter

The guy with the homemade helicopter should check in for a reality check. If he flies that thing his chances of surviving the first week without an accident are rare. First of all (and the most important) is that HE is not competent to fly. Even with a real copter, his skill level is close to suicide. Good training and a helicopter rating is an absolute must. As a professional pilot, I've seen the training required to stay safe many times, and this guy isn't close. Second, the copter is experimental. Have the factory send out an experienced person(s) to check out and test fly this machine. It could be fine, but it's a high risk machine and it would be wise to minimize the risk.
 
October 4, 2006, 4:55 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: purplepenny

I don't understand, this "Women of Faith" is a Christian thing? I thought it was a multi-religious conference.
Yes, it is Christian based, And I have heard all the speakers  who attended this conference, either in person or on tv and they are very good with some interesting backgrounds and experiences, They are funny and can make anything come to life. I seriously recomend any one to go see Patsy Clairmont, she is hillarious and serious at the same time, can have a person rolling on the floors. She has got to be one of the top notch comedian in the world, and it is all pure and anyone would feel comfortable listening to her,very down to earth.
 
October 4, 2006, 5:07 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: hannamurphy

A staying home young mom doesn't take care of herself. She feels quilt when sombody else takes care of her children. Hence, she refuses help. Robin sends her to SPA and shopping.  It sounds like fun but how  this is going to solve her problems? I am in the same situation. I am a new mom and I want to be with my baby all the time. I refuse help, I am exhausted, I have seperation anxiety when away from my baby. Finally, I have a lot of quilt when I have other people to take care of my son. I can go to the SPA, I can spend $1000 shopping, I can afford a full-time nanny. It doesn't  help. For those women whose limited budget doesn't allow such a life-style - It doesn't help. Spending money in the mall doen't make you more a woman, it also doesn't take away a quilt and anxiety.

Hanna

 

I do agree with you, though getting out and pampering oneself once in a while can do wonders and feeling good about yourself is a good thing. I think a person with a low self image, guilt and feelings of anxiety really does need some professional help, at least it can help them get back ont rack and help them to be happy within themselves for the shopping, papmering, wahtever alone isn't gonna do the trick.

I didn't watch the show so I don't know all the details here on this situation but I will the husabnd needs to be loving and supportive of his wife as well, pay a ttention to her, give her the breaks that she well deserves and thank her and appreciate her work that she does within the home and with the kids and it isn't gonna hurt the husband to pitch in a and givea hand and set a date nigth with his wife, these things does wonders.

I am a stay at home mom with a very supportive husband and there isn't a whole lot of time for me to sit and have a low self image of myself becuase he does his part in the parenting and even within the home, there's just some things women need help on and in return, my husband is rewarded in many great aspects, he too gets the respect from me that he deserves,

Staying home with the kids may not always be an easy thing but it is possible to be happy and fullfilled with it, one has to have confidence, self respect, support and balance which should be worked out by both partners. Life is just too short to be unhappy and to feel guilty.

AS a stay at home mom, I don't use sitters too often but I sure don't feel guilty about when I do use one, for I enjoy my time out with hubby and I enjoy my little walks and going to my work outs and going out with a friend on occasions, no need to feel guilty and my kids are happy and having friends is a great thing for them, they are excited to go to a sitter and at the same time, they are excited when I walk in the door, there is no need to feel guilt when taking care of yourself, again it takes balance and a good self image and if one doesn't have these things then I think they need some help.
 
October 4, 2006, 5:44 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: jen1275

 I have read your story and I do not see how you are still standing!! You have got so much on your plate you willhave a break down in time!! My name is Jenni and I am the friend of Misty. As women, I know we feel like we have to do everything!! We have to be the moms,wives,daughters,maids,cooks,teachers and everthing to follow. In todays world we as women are to do everything. And I know it is hard. I am a working mom myself,but I travel with my job so I have time for myself. The only advice I can give you is Keep your head up and talk with you husband. Iknow he also is working his bum off also,but you are goingto breakdown and become sick. Then what will your family do? You are the most important person in that family and if thay lost you it would be a loss so great!! Just be honest with your husband,parents and your kids! MOM NEEDS A BREAK!!! Just 10-15 a day to find yourself. Also go get a check up!! Let the doctor to a full blood test. Misty and I went to the doctor  and I just found out I had a thyroid problem. And I have a new baby and they think that was the cause. So you may have a medical problem as well. So please try to put yourself first even if its for five min. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep you head up and be proud of YOU!!!!!
Thank you for the support and prayers.  It helps just knowing that other women understand and are going through the same or similiar things. 
 
October 4, 2006, 7:50 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

I love the ending of the program.The song  and the girl  lisa were  beatiful. Ii have a 14 year old girl down syndrome and she likes to sign and dance i saw my daugther in lisa thank you very much.
 
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