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Topic : 10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 136
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Created on : Friday, September 29, 2006, 09:45:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil has reinforcement today – Robin joins him to answer all your burning questions! They also have special help from several speakers from Women of Faith, a faith-based organization encouraging women of all ages to grow in faith and spiritual maturity. First up are best friends, Barbara and Laurie, who both suffer from agoraphobia. Laurie hates to be in crowded places, and Barbara can’t comfortably leave a five-mile radius of her home. It’s a vicious cycle they’ve been sharing for 16 years. Patsy, a Women of Faith speaker who lost six years of her life to agoraphobia, shares how the women can get over their disorder. Then, Marilyn has been afraid of catching germs since she was in the 6th grade, and even gives her friends latex gloves to wear! What’s behind her fears? And, Jodi wrote to Dr. Phil because she doesn’t trust her husband, Scott’s, ability to fly his homemade helicopter. Scott says his wife needs to be more trusting. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a mom who says she never puts herself first wants Robin’s help. Talk about the show here.

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October 4, 2006, 8:07 am CDT

Lack of Family

I did not see the program on Tuesday, because of the coverage of local Amish, which I know you had a special program for.  I have a question for Robin.  What if one of your sons, stopped tallking to you and went to and called their grandfather instead of you.  Ask how he was doing and share what is happening in their lives.Also, their grandfather never talked to you about any family member and keeps you left out of the family.  Trying to contact your father, he just gets you very upset.  You have had NO contact, emails, letters, cards, pictures.  You have not seen your sons for over a year, no touching, talking to them, eye to eye, share anything, giving them a kiss or even told them you loved them.  Would you cry and try anything to make a connection?

 
October 4, 2006, 8:24 am CDT

OOPS

Quote From: momsrock

I just watched the show with Women of Faith.  I attended their conference a couple of years ago and had a wonderful time.  What an absolute blessing!!!!  I went with my DOL and soon-to-be DOL. They were aware of my fear of crowds and how to help me.  Last year, I had the opportunity to attend again, but my daughter and DOL's couldn't go.  Because I can't handle being in crowds by myself, I didn't go.  I am hoping to have the opportunity to go again. I don't want to miss the fun things in life waiting for everyone else to go home. =)

 

Another "Woman of Faith" 

It should have been my DIL's not DOL's. 
 
October 4, 2006, 8:33 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: soldout4god

If you believe in God... He can still save your marriage. You do sound like you you have had it rough, but God can use you and your husband in a mighty way. That other guy sounds really nice, but the realationship you have with him is not Godly. If you leave your husband for him, how can God bless that? As for doing it on your own... do what you have to. I know that MY GOD, can provide your EVERY need. But you have to step out on faith and trust him. My God is a God of the impossible. And if you  choose to follow Christ, He will give you the peace that passes ALL understanding.

        You say that your husband is threatening to take your kids away... I promise if you learn to depend on God and not on a man, He will protect you and show favor on you, and He will take care of your situation.

         I want to say I'm not trying to judge you and your situation, I'm just trying to tell you what the REAL answer is. Its not another man- its God. Focus on being the good mother you are, and let time tell for your marriage. I know God can change your husband to be the man of your dreams. Will you let him?

        You know God loves you so much!!! He hurts when you hurt. He wants so much more for you than what you are going through right now. But He allows us to go through these bad things to make us trust Him. I say you can't get your blessing until you go through Hell first to get it.

       God bless you.- pray for wisdom

I am very surprised at the advise you gave to vdelaluz.  I am a true believer of God, however sometimes a person has to do what feels right for them and their family.  This man was abusive both physically and verbally and that makes for a unhealthy home for both wife and children.  You think this man can change and the odds of that are about  zero.  You should not try to push your strong religious believes on someone who is trying to do the right thing. 

I think it is great that you have found someone who cares so much for you that he is being so patient waiting for you to file for divorce.  I do want to say it would be best that to get a divorce before starting a physical relationship.  You husband could use that in divorce court and with your children, so its best to wait. 

If I was in your shoes I would do whatever I had to to get the ball rolling on the divorce.  The longer you wait the harder it will be for your children.  There will be some bad times to come with teenagers because they like to use one parent against the other, however you are a strong person and you will overcome these problems and be happier in the long run.  Your children will also be happier because you will be in a healthier place and have peace of mind after the divorce.

I pray for a happy ending for you and your children

Be strong       

 
October 4, 2006, 8:53 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: hannamurphy

A staying home young mom doesn't take care of herself. She feels quilt when sombody else takes care of her children. Hence, she refuses help. Robin sends her to SPA and shopping.  It sounds like fun but how  this is going to solve her problems? I am in the same situation. I am a new mom and I want to be with my baby all the time. I refuse help, I am exhausted, I have seperation anxiety when away from my baby. Finally, I have a lot of quilt when I have other people to take care of my son. I can go to the SPA, I can spend $1000 shopping, I can afford a full-time nanny. It doesn't  help. For those women whose limited budget doesn't allow such a life-style - It doesn't help. Spending money in the mall doen't make you more a woman, it also doesn't take away a quilt and anxiety.

Hanna

 

I have two young children and I am young myself.  If I didn't get any breaks, I would probably go crazy.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family, it's just that eveyone needs a break every once in a while.  That doesn't mean that you love your family any less.  If you focus on yourself every once in a while, you will find yourself to be more relaxed and prepared to enjoy your day.  I want my kids to remember the good things we did together, not that I was grumpy all of the time.  And they enjoy getting out as well.  I'm sure they enjoy the break from me too. LOL  It's good time for them to spend with other members of the family.
 
October 4, 2006, 8:57 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

What was the name of that fear the ladies had?  The one where they felt they couldn't go anywhere and would have panic attacks?  I suffered from that as well.  I had just moved to a new area and just had my first child and was scared to go out by myself or go away from home.  I would have panic attacks and it got so bad that I couldn't even go to the grocery store to get my baby some food.  That's when I realized I had a serious problem.  I was able to get out of it and now am doing very well.  I know how hard it was for those ladies to get on an airplane.  I don't like airplanes!
 
October 4, 2006, 11:44 am CDT

Women of Faith-Reply

Dear Dr. Phil and Robin,

 

This reply is about the woman who would rather kiss someone than touch the person. This is an honest reply with no disrespect intended.

 

First, Women of Faith to me is a broad based term as what the group was like and in particular about the woman who was so afraid of germs. . They would seem to vary from very nice, well intended and healthy women open to the world of love to those who are closed off from it. 

 

The thing jumped out at me was that this type of woman might not be very open in her ideas of love and sex. She looked a bit up-tight.  With this said, it is my suggestion that she does not want to shake hands because "she doesn't know where those hands have been."   I would suspect that she has never considered where the person's mouth has been in the way of love. .It would appear to be a phobia just like any other.  She might be embarassed about what she thinks. 

 

HaroldB.

 
October 4, 2006, 11:45 am CDT

Message from a recovering Agoraphobic

I wrote this today to the Dr Phil show, thought I would share this with you all incase some people got misled by yesterday's show.  I feel awful for the 2 ladies that appeared, as I experienced the same thing they are now going through.  I can't believe they even made it to the show, they must have been a nervous wreck.  Here it is, read on and if there are any agoraphoics out there, email me I would be happy to talk to you about my recovery process and what a deep hole I was in.  Thank god for my patient husband!

 

Read on:

 

Dr Phil and Robin.
I watched yesterdays show about agoraphobia, and I have been deeply affected by this going on 6 years now.  I was very dissapointed in the treatment advice that you gave the guests. 

I am recovering from Agoraphobia now, and it has been a VERY long process.  I am on my 7th month of treatment WITH medication (prozac), and I am gradually improving, I am worlds different from this time last year. 

You told your guests, that they could have this problem gone in 3 months or less with intervention.  I HIGHLY DISAGREE with this.  This is a mental chemical imbalance, you cannot be talked out of it, medication is the only way out.   I tried to talk myself out of being a prisoner in my own home for 6 years, and forcing yourself to do things was NOT the key to my success.

I was dissapointed to see you put that much hope in those 2 women, and tell them it only takes 3 months to get over something like this.  It is a LONG process.  I am 26 years old and got struck out of the blue with it was I was 20 in the middle of college.  It all went downhill from there and I didn't know why for years, noone likes to talk about this, and are ashamed of it for the most part.  I could not leave the house at all, could not go to the store, could not live a normal life.  I hurt deeply for these women. 

Even through my recovery, I am willing to go on the show and share my story, and let others know that this is something that effects millions of people, and it's ok for them to seek help, it's the ONLY way out of this dark tunnel. 

 

 
October 4, 2006, 12:07 pm CDT

Agoraphobia

Quote From: elffie

What was the name of that fear the ladies had?  The one where they felt they couldn't go anywhere and would have panic attacks?  I suffered from that as well.  I had just moved to a new area and just had my first child and was scared to go out by myself or go away from home.  I would have panic attacks and it got so bad that I couldn't even go to the grocery store to get my baby some food.  That's when I realized I had a serious problem.  I was able to get out of it and now am doing very well.  I know how hard it was for those ladies to get on an airplane.  I don't like airplanes!
Agoraphobia, I had and am recovering from the same thing.  I couldn't leave my home for years, was awful.  See my message under Noleman's username about how I felt about yesterdays show, recovery isn't as easy as they made it seem, and I'm sure you know!
 
October 4, 2006, 12:44 pm CDT

How to find the right doctor?

Dear Dr Phil and Robin,

 

I watched yesterdays show and was sooooooooooo pleased to here that there is help out there for me.  I suffer from panic attacks that strikes my digestive system.  Meaning I get physically ill, like the onset of the stomach bug, when an attack hits.  I was on Effexor XR for years and just went off of it in July due to bad reports that are coming out about it.  I was off all medications until September 17th.  I had surgery and being down and out leaves me open for attacks after attacks.  I am tired of feeling like I am going to die.  I want help.  I am back on Celexa and Xanax 3x per day.  I am 36 years old.  I have 3 children and a wonderful husband.  I am tired of living in fear for what might happen.  How do I find a doctor in Rochester, NY that is right for me?  Someone that can teach me those things Dr Phil was talking about? Or test me for copper? 

 

Please help!

Carolyn

 

 
October 4, 2006, 1:53 pm CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: binxer1

Dear Dr Phil and Robin,

 

I watched yesterdays show and was sooooooooooo pleased to here that there is help out there for me.  I suffer from panic attacks that strikes my digestive system.  Meaning I get physically ill, like the onset of the stomach bug, when an attack hits.  I was on Effexor XR for years and just went off of it in July due to bad reports that are coming out about it.  I was off all medications until September 17th.  I had surgery and being down and out leaves me open for attacks after attacks.  I am tired of feeling like I am going to die.  I want help.  I am back on Celexa and Xanax 3x per day.  I am 36 years old.  I have 3 children and a wonderful husband.  I am tired of living in fear for what might happen.  How do I find a doctor in Rochester, NY that is right for me?  Someone that can teach me those things Dr Phil was talking about? Or test me for copper? 

 

Please help!

Carolyn

 

Carolyn, I had an extreme case of agoraphobia, and diaagree with all of Dr phils 'copper' tests, etc.  Panic attacks come from a chemical imbalance in your brain, your brain doesn't know when to un trigger itself to tell you what is an irrational thought.  I am taking the generic form of prozac, and it has helped me wonders!  I truely sympathize for you, I hope it hasn't gotten as far as it did for me, where I was stuck inside my house, scared to leave for 6 years.  Good luck in your search!  Best wishes in getting well.
 
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