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Topic : 10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 136
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Created on : Friday, September 29, 2006, 09:45:49 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil has reinforcement today – Robin joins him to answer all your burning questions! They also have special help from several speakers from Women of Faith, a faith-based organization encouraging women of all ages to grow in faith and spiritual maturity. First up are best friends, Barbara and Laurie, who both suffer from agoraphobia. Laurie hates to be in crowded places, and Barbara can’t comfortably leave a five-mile radius of her home. It’s a vicious cycle they’ve been sharing for 16 years. Patsy, a Women of Faith speaker who lost six years of her life to agoraphobia, shares how the women can get over their disorder. Then, Marilyn has been afraid of catching germs since she was in the 6th grade, and even gives her friends latex gloves to wear! What’s behind her fears? And, Jodi wrote to Dr. Phil because she doesn’t trust her husband, Scott’s, ability to fly his homemade helicopter. Scott says his wife needs to be more trusting. What does Dr. Phil think? Plus, a mom who says she never puts herself first wants Robin’s help. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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October 3, 2006, 12:39 am CDT

Contagious Joy

Quote From: brantrent

I was blessed to be at the Women of Faith conference that was held this past week-end in Sacramento, CA.  Robin, thank you for your openness and candor.  I am sooooooooo looking forward to seeing this show on Tuesday.  I think Patsy Clairmont is one of the funniest people in this world.  I am blessed that God got her out of bed and on stage for us to enjoy.

God Bless, DeeDee  

I was at this conference in Sacramento as well. It was so wonderful to see Dr. Phil walk Robin offstage for once! The McGraws are truley amazing people and it is no wonder why their lives are so blessed with success and happiness! It was a true honor and priviledge to be able to see Robin speak, as well as all the other "core" Women Of Faith speakers... it will be so awesome to see them on the show! I can't wait!

 

 
October 3, 2006, 12:39 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: cysmitty

Dear Dr. Phil and Robin,

  What is a woman to do when she is a full-time college student, full-time stay at home mom, married for almost 20 years...and no longer "IN LOVE" with her husband?? There is no doubt that I have love for my husband...but I am not "IN LOVE" with him anymore. I feel like the only thing we have in common is our children. We rarely touch, let alone indulge in any type of affectionate behavior. At almost 40...what should I do?  I feel so much guilt when I think of myself...but I surely don't want to spend my life lonely, in a house full of people! When is it ok to think about "me"...and make a life decision that will make "me" happy?  I would be so grateful for any advice you can give me!

Love the show...never miss it!

Thanks for your time,

cysmitty

Define "in love"...

Does your husband know how you feel? Have you told him what you have told us? Maybe he's feeling the same way.

Words of wisdom from one of my favorite poets:

"One love - we get to share it
Leaves you, baby, if you don't care for it"


 
October 3, 2006, 1:54 am CDT

help

 Dear Dr. Phil,
I have a younger brother with some extreme behavior problems, he is 6 feet tall and 250 pounds and extremely violent.  He is constantly showing off his antisocial behavior to prove how tuff he is. He cuts and burns himself,  he spends most of his time lifting weights and getting in fights or hitting himself with hard objects, such as pipes, to make himself insensitive to pain. He has attacked me my father and our youngest brother several times. At least once when he punched my father he broke some of his ribs, and my father is not a frail old man. Several times I was only able to stop him from hurting our youngest brother by threatening to call the police.  I have only barely begun to describe his behavior, I assure you what ever you are thinking  he is worse. Recently he has started shaving his head and acting like a nazi skinhead. Writing racist slogans all over our houses and on his clothes and everything else he owns. He has stolen thousands of dollars in cash from my parents and the rest of our family, he stole $800 that my father had been saving for house payments $600 from an elderly relative that we take care of and I have lost count of how much he has stolen from me. The reason he steals all this money is to buy drugs, meth cocaine speed acid etc.  Recently I had to call the police and have him brought to the hospital because he was soaked in blood and punching holes in the walls of our parents house and tearing things apart.  I had hoped that the police would charge him with something and the court would order him to go to drug rehab and therapy but they said that there was nothing they could do about it.
I don’t know what to do about him,  the main reasons I am concerned are the cost to my parents for keeping him here, as they are struggling to keep from loosing everything even without him making things worse,  and my youngest brothers physical safety because he is only half his size.
Do you have any suggestions that might be helpful?

 
October 3, 2006, 7:48 am CDT

women of faith

Oh my God!  Its Patsy Clairmont......I am so excited to see her wonderful face again!  I attended a Womens Conference ummmm many yrs ago in Ripley, WV.  It was my first conference I attended with a very dear friend whom at the age of 40, only a few short yrs after we started attending the conferences passed away.  We traveled from OH to this conferece for a wonderful weekend, also men free, and she was the guest speaker.  I developed such a terrible headache on the way there and had to sit in the gym the first night in order to sit in the auditorium the second night, am I glad I did, she was so inspirational and heart warmingly funny, I got rid of my headache and couldn't wait for Sat to hear the rest.   We made sure we were first in line to get front row seats.  I still to this day listen to the tapes of that weekend just because she is so light hearted and after all she went thru it seems easier to go ahead each day.  I am getting ready to go thru weight loss surgery and I am now on a mission to see this wonferful women as well as all her new friends and share them with my daughter who was in high school at the time and is now 27.  Can't wait!!!!!  
 
October 3, 2006, 8:21 am CDT

Misty

WOW I was working around the house today when i caught the tailend of the show. With Misty the woman who puts everyones needs ahead of hers. Well, Misty looked like she put herself first for the show. I am as bad as Misty only I dont let anyone cut my hair I trim the ends about every 2 years. I only have one pair of shoes and dont like to shop for clothes. I wear the same style jeans I own one in blue and one in black, and tee shirts are my favorite I wear the ones I have untill they have major holes in them. I do have a nice sweater or 2 I wear in the winter. Well now let me get to it what I want to know is HOW to change this, it is getting to the point I dont even like to go out. I do take my son were ever he has to go school, hockey, guitar and I will go shopping with him for anything he needs. Its not like i am a hermit. I just dont even know where I begin and mom ends.
 
October 3, 2006, 8:34 am CDT

Useless

 

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

Me and my family which include:

My sister KIMBERLY

My mother PAMELA

My dad ANDY

My grandma MAE

Me and my family are having a hard time. I yell at my parents for no good reason, I don’t know why I do it. Kimberly hits me, calls me names and yells at me for nothing or I made her mad. I cut, chopped, my hair cause I’m Stressed from a lot of things. My sister hits me when my grandma is outside smoking. My grandma thinks she did not do anything at all, she stands up for my sister.

 

What should I do? Can you advise me?

Sincerely,

Useless

 

 
October 3, 2006, 8:55 am CDT

Help: I don't want to be this way any longer.

Dear Dr. Phil And Robin,  I watch your show everyday. I am a 54 year old grandmother; raising 2 of my grandchildren. Justin is 10 years and Shannon is 5 years old. I love them with all my heart; but am having a really hard time with the 2nd parenting go around. I know I did not do a very good job the first time. I really wish the 2nd time around could be better; but it isn't turning out that way. My life is a mess. I admire you so  much, Robin. You seem to always have it together so well. My husband and I were truck drivers for many years together. Now he is gone all the time and I am home all the time raising the children. Our money situation is rock bottom. As Oprah once said on one of her shows; "we are one paycheck away from homelesses." I don't have medical insurance so I can not afford to go to the doctor; but to be honest I'm not sure what kind of doctor I should see. We live in a small rual community and don't really know anyone. That's no lie. We moved here about 9 years ago and basically stay to ourselves. I am desperate to get out of this cycle I am in. Years ago I was diagoisned with Fibromyaliga. I haven't seen a doctor in probably 4 years, because of our finances. I know I'm very depressed, I am sure I am

harmonial ( at 54, yeh, I"m sure). And I also think I have ADD; but just don't know what to do about it all. I have let myself go so long that I don't know where to turn to get the help I need to get out of this rutt that I am so tired of being in. Does that make sense? I want to get a job; I want to get out and have fun; I want to clean the house. I just can't seem to get off the couch long enough to do it. Just sitting down and writing this is tireing my out so bad. I have all of your books; and would love to read them; but can't remember anything I've read. Nothing in my life is good anymore, not my marriage, not my family life; not even my garden and I used to love to work in my flower and water gardens. I can't anymore. I get too tired, too fast. I would really love some advice. I keep waiting to see you do a show on grandparents in my same shoes; but that hasn't happened yet, so now I am pleading.... please, give me some advice. I really don't want to end up like Robin said her mother did and I'm almost at that age. Thank you for any help you can throw my way. Sincerely, A lonely woman

 
October 3, 2006, 9:31 am CDT

whats a women to do

dear dr phil.

what is a women to do when a girl is still in love with her ex and he doesn't want to be bothed,he only sees me on fridays and thats late at night what do you think this means,and her daughters father has moved on but doesn't want me to move on is this fair,what should i do i can't take this anymore im tired and very lonely i deserve to be happy, my daughter goes with her father every weekend and i dont go anywhere i just sit in the house

 

i need advice and help

 
October 3, 2006, 10:23 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: ydelaluz

Hi Dr. Phil I am a mother of 3 children 14, 12 and a 4 year old, i have been seperated from my husband for 3.5 years. my relationship was physically and verbally  abusive and controlling. that i would never amount to anything, no one will want me with 3 kids, that i was fat and ugly, that the man i do meet will only want me for one thing and that is SEX. He was a drinker during the weekends every weekend him and i were always argueing and hardley around each other. I always for 14 yrs did the laundry, grocerie shopping, errands, house cleaning alone it was allright for me to do that on my own other than that i was not allowed to have a social life with my friends, but he would be out all of the time go to school, hang with friends, join sports, go see his family, be out drinking in other words have a life. i was completely tired of it so i just lived day by day with my kids going out with them to the zoo, movies , go to birthday parties with them while he would be out somewhere else or home sleeping recuperating from a hangover. Well 6 years ago he joined the military which i didnt approve of because he did not sit to talk to me about it, and the way i found out was he was packing and i heard a seargant knock at our door picking him up to go to Fort Lenardwood, I was so furious that he did not take into consideration our kids feelings and mine. Well while he was in boot camp my children and i went to visit him i did it for the sake of my children not for mine of course. Well during that time i was enjoying my freedom enjoying things that i was unable to do when he was around spend time with my friends , go out every now and then it was  nice well i started noticeing that i was so peacfull and calm I lost weight, and was much happier with myself felt more confident i was able to dye my hair, where what i wanted, shop and buy us things we liked etc... etc... Well he had gone over seas 2002 he was there for 1 yr and 1/2. When he was scheduled to return my kids and i went to the welcome home thing and i spoke to him a week prior to that , that i didnt want him to come home, he said fine he was staying at his sisters home, I know this is mean and cruel but that is just the way i felt he put me through so much pain cheating , physically abusive and verbally. Well we have been seperated ever since he wont do nothing for his kids ,pays no child support, wont see them, unless i nagg about it. I had to take up two jobs to provide for my kids. Well two years ago i met someone amazing, sweet, caring and supports me in everything i do he has done more for my kids than their own father. My kids dont know much about him becasue i dont bring him around. this past week my back went out i couldnt walk, i called their father if he can take me to the hospital his remark was i have to work and have other things to do. So i called him if he can do me that favor, he took me to the hospital , stood there with me the whole time, and stayed with me Thurs - Sunday at my place and helped me get around, he cooked , cleaned, did the groceries for me and my laundry  and was attentive to my and my kids every need, he was the best with my kids my younger ones liked him but my 14 yrs old was with attitude and everything. He is interested in pursuing something further with me but i'm scared becasue my soon to be ex gives me a hard time that he will take my kids away from me, he recently called the cops on me because i took up a second job and went to work and my two older daughters stayed home alone but grandma lives upstairs and other family my younger son was with his uncle and was spending the night at his home. since my soon to be ex found out about this other person he has been more of a jerk, he dont want this person to come near my kids well he never did until this past week. I dont know what to do i do like this other person but i dont want my kids to be taken from me since i am technically still married to this other jerk and i cant afford a divorce right now. i had to take up anthher job just to pay my bills. this other person offers to help but i just cant take it, i feel i am taking charity although i know he does it from the kindness of his heart, and just wants to make things easier for me. but its hard for me to accept help i have to much pride. i want to do this alone but i am afraid he might get tired of waiting and walk away but yet i am scared of moving foward becasue i dont want to get hurt again. what should i do? if i dont get this divorce (lack of money) is there a chance of him taking my kids from me if i get involved with this other person? I have been seperated for 3 years now and he does nothing for them kids. I dont plan to move in with him or start a life with him, just date and get to know each other and take it from there. i have to make sure all my 3 kids are comfortable with it first, but then again what if they never do then what? they are okay cuz they just met him and they dont know his feelings towards me and mine toward him. please help me i am so confused and stressed out. Oh and let me add I am no longer in love with my kids father. i realized that 4 years ago.
I think you are an amazing woman to be so strong and to get out of this relationship. I have so much respect for you yet don't even know you.  I think you did the right thing. You and your children are better off without him. Even if he didnt abuse the children, seeing it happen to you will hurt them in many ways too. Its sad that he thinks so low of himself that he would try to break you down like he did. In the end there it sounds as though he's jealous because he even relizes that your better off without him.  Your kids reaction to this new man aren't surprising.  This has probably all been hard for them too watching what has been going on for years.  They could just be scared of this new man possibly "taking you from them".  I bet if you sat down with them and discussed it so they could understand how important he is to you, they may be a bit more understanding.  As for him, if he doesn't already know the whole story, I'd just lay it out for him.  If he does care deeply for you he'll realize the situation your in and  he'll wait until your ready to commit. I would go for it though, taking it slow like you said. You have to follow your heart and keep opening it over and over again.  I've learned the best lessons in the worst relationships. And it may take a few men like your ex before you find that great one, and alot of times its well worth it. Unfortunately I dont know any of the legal end of things but i can't see the courts giving him custody when he doesn't take care of them now.  I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your children.
 
October 3, 2006, 10:44 am CDT

10/03 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: sandiet2

 

 

Here's one for you, what do you do with a man you have spent the last 22 years of your life with, gave him your heart and soul to and he turns around and says that your chronic depression is all in your head?

 

This is a believe I knew that he had when we first found out but over the years i thought he had finally come around to believing that it was real.

 

Watching I think it was 60 mins.  about the electrode surgery that they do now on area 25 of the brain my heart went out to those who tried the surgery.  For those that it helped congrats for those of us that fear that kind of dramatic thing i hurt.  But, a comment was made and it became clear that my husband still thinks that it is all in my head and doesn't exist.

 

Now what do i do???

I can relate to you.  I have been married for 30 years.  I was told I had MS in 2003 and I have been suffering severe depession and other effects from the MS.  My husband thinks most of it is in my head and has taken no effort to even learn anything about MS.  This really hurts me because if he would just take the time to learn about MS he would understand why me a whole lot better. 

I do not have the option to have electrode surgery because of the MS so I am stuck like chuck with no one to turn to.

I tried to go to support groups, however I really didn't relate very well.  I would love to ask Robin what she would do if she were in my shoes.

God Bless and I hope things get better for you. 

 
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