Topic : 10/06 IQ Answer

I am so glad you are now able to feel proud of yourself for your accomplishments! But, you were an intelligent person all along....so sorry that you were told otherwise all those years.

I am a teacher, and I DO NOT allow those kinds of negative words to be used in my classroom, stupid is a word that just grates against my nerves....and many of today's kids use it as if they are accustomed to hearing it often.  I see students that are so emotionally neglected, it is so sad to see what they must put up with.  Some parents also expect way too much out of their children, straight A's or nothing else will do....so much stress on a young student.  Then again, others aren't expected to perform and don't do more than they just have to, to get by.  When parents come in for P/T conferences, it doesn't take long to figure out why the students are like they are....as they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. There are exceptions of course, and that is the wonderful part...seeing kids rise above their difficult beginnings. 

Why can't people treat others as they want to be treated, such a simple rule to live by...why is that so hard to do?  Maybe it's because some didn't get treated with respect when they were younger.  Parents who set good examples pass on a great legacy to their children.

Hello,

I was at the Woman of Faith Conference and Robin did a great job.

She was so graceful and transparent.  I was so blessed by all of things she shared.

I bought her new book and did you know that she took the time to sign every one of them.

She is an awesome lady and if you are reading this Robin...You Go Girl!!!

Thank you, Linda Mirich

It is a relief for me to see that there teens who behave in school like mine. My twelve year old boy is now in the 6th grade. He is a very bright boy and kind. When it comes to studying, reviewing for knowledge and good performance in school, he feels as though he doesn't need. Or sometimes gives excuses as such, he doesn't have homeworks, He is very tired, he would want to go out and play because he has already reviewed in school or on the bus from school.

On 30th of September, just one day before his 12 birthday, my husband and I set down with him and discussed through issues about his growth, life, pedophiles, well performance in school and consequences in life when the basic is not taken seriously at its core.  He revealed to us the fear that he has before starting a quiz  or an exam. He sweats, bites his fingernails, goes blank, or sometimes gets irrection . Since he was in the 3rd grade, teachers always said that he is bright, intelligent, very potential boy and perform much better but lacks concentration. His books and copy books are not organized. Sometimes for him to study well, we have to do the police rule, meaning standing up and constantly reminding him how to do his work and when to do. My Husband and I seriously engage ourselves in our children learning but still it feels like we have failed him in away. I particularly felt that I have pressured him  a lot.

I have applied different methods to improve his behavior and performance but still the same problem with concentration and bad grades. I have also called school psychologist to discuss this issue but still not successful. I wish this show was to be aired in Helsinki, Finland at the above date for me to follow through but I guess I'll just read it on the internet.

Could you help ways to help him improve?

Thanks in advance,

Hardworking, in Helsinki, Finland

I have recently learned about EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - it helps people with both physical and emotional challenges by literally tapping into the subconscious mind to release negative self-talk and also to insert positive messages. It's very simple and can be done with a certified EFT therapist or by yourself. Fears, anxieties, depression, anger, and lots more can be helped with this technique. Here are a variety of websites where you can get information: www.emofree.com   www.eftbooks.com   www.celebrationhealing.com

Some names to google are Gary Craig, Rebecca Marina, Carol Look, Patricia Carrington, Angela Treat Lyon.

Good luck!!

I am a huge advocate of having sleep studies done for ANY long-term behavoir problems...kids or adults.  After learning that my husband has obstructive sleep apnea AND restless leg syndrome, AND that I have Narcolepsy, the sleep specialist recommended sleep studies for all three of our boys, all diagnosed with ADHD...incorrectly...on meds for years with bad side effects.

It turns out that my oldest son, age 17, has Narcolepsy, and getting on the right meds has allowed his grades to go from Cs, Ds and Fs to being on the A honor roll.  Too bad we didn't know to have the sleep studies done years ago.

Our youngest 2 boys both have Restless Leg Syndrome and were waking up over 250 times a night...no wonder they were fussy and uncooperative...ages 13 and 8. Requip, a restless leg medication, has made a huge difference in their behavior and attitudes.  A high number of kids with behavior problems actually have a sleep disorder. 

Through thourough vision testing, we have also learned that they both have a vision disorder that causes problems with the eyes being able to work together.  Kids with vision disorders are typically uncooperative about doing their homework...no wonder, they are straining their eyes just to try to do it.  They are now both doing vision therapy...we were tipped off my my neice's husband, who is a school counselor, specializing in kids with learning disabilities...many kids with learning disabilities actually have vision problems.  If anybody is interested in having their kids checked for vision disorders, just ask your eye doctor for a specialist in vision therapy.

Being put on ADHD meds without doing thorough testing for underlying causes of the symptoms and behaviors is just an irresponsible act on the doctor's part!

Obviously, if a child is acting out, it is also a good idea to get involved at school to see if there are problems with other children picking on the child, or some other situation that parents may not be aware of.  Kids are often ashamed of being picked on and bullied, so they don't speak up.  Or maybe, the school personel just consider the child to be a tattletale.  Our school has a policy of having the kids try to work it out between themselves before telling an adult...a good thing most of the time, but it does discourage kids from bringing the issue out in the open.

Well, I've said my piece.  Again, you're a great mom to be so vigilant and involved...glad things are going better for your son.

My 13 year old is very bright, but he almost failed 7th grade last year because of missing homework.  (The "moths" in his locker must have been eating his homework, because it always seemed to go missing...and the dogs won't eat his homework...he's tried).  He, too, would lie and say he didn't have homework.

This year, we've taken a different approach.  I keep in close contact with his teachers...by email and in person.  Scott has to CALL me on the phone from class if he does not turn in an assignment when it is due.  All of his teachers have agreed to do this.

He also has to fill out his day planner (all of the students at the school are required to do this).  Scott has to get the teachers to sign his planner every day to confirm that he has correctly and completely written down the assignments.

I have spent a couple of  days at school with Scott, tagging along with him to all of his classes all day long.  I now have a feel for the teachers' different teaching styles, and what homework to expect on certain days of the week.  The teachers took notice of this and appreciate my involvement. This has made them more willing to communicate with me.  We also have an agreement with the teachers to let Scott have 2 extra days to complete missed assignments.  This is to prevent Scott from simply accepting a "zero" on the assignment and getting out of doing it altogether.

I am constantly the "homework police" with him...tapping him on the shoulder to remind him to focus on his work.  He had a diagnosis of ADHD for years, which has turned out to be linked to a sleep disorder and a vision disorder (read my previous posting to another mom).

If Scott misses an assignment, Mom will show up at school...multiple missing assignments will result in Mom spending the whole day at school with him...pretty embarrassing for a junior high student.

Since we have started our new policies, Scott's school performance and getting his homework turned in has greatly improved.  Having the right medication for his sleep disorder, and getting the vision therapy have also been a great help.

Don't feel like you are failing your son, tell him often that you are being tough because you love him and care about how he will turn out as an adult.  And please consider getting the right testing.

Also, if is any comfort to you, the homework battles seem to be rampant among junior high boys...I've talked with a lot of parents of boys, and they all say the same thing.

In the USA, typically in 7th grade, the students go from having one teacher to having six teachers.  This is a big adjustment for kids, not to mention all of the hormonal changes going on at that age.  The kids tend to feel kind of anonymous with so many teachers...like they can get away with not turning in their homework.

Last year, one of Scott's teachers made the excuse that she had 30 kids in her class, and that she just didn't have the time to keep Scott on track.  My comment back to her was that yes, she had 30 kids in her class, but Scott was one of them.  I asked her to have the kids in Scott's lab group help keep him on track...his grade in that class improved after that.

After diagnosing and treating Scott's problems, behavior modification was definitely necessary...and still requires vigilance on our part, as his parents.

I hope this information helps.  I'll keep you in my prayers

A Dedicated Mom

I know that this problem (stress) can be easily fixed since I'm like that too especially oral presentations. It very important that he knows the defenition of organization and how to do it. Organization means that everything is seperated into categories, it doesnt necesarily mean neat but its a personal system where you can find things in less then 30 seconds. Losing something at the last minute is stressful. It also important to plan well which means do 70% of the work at the begining. This strategy never fails and avoids lots of panics and stress.  Theres such a relief when your not paniking at the last minute and when you get it over with. It feels like bricks coming off your shoulder. At the beginning of an assignment, or when he finds out theres a test, he should have an agenda right on his desk and takes notes. When I get stressed out I always take a piece of paper and right everything out thats stressing me out and circle the ones that must be tackled first (priorities). Its normal to get stressed out, most people do or get nervous and I think its a good time for him to get started because it will get worse in high school and post-secondary.