Quote From: alexaloveSometimes when we did argue, and I would say I can't do this anymore, it did seem like he would change his perspective on things. When I go along with things, he would give me the impression that he was ready to call it quits. I always thought that was weird, I just could never figure out why he was like that. Now I know. It makes sense. I changed my mind because I am a very loyal and devoted person. I do love him. Does he love me? I will find out soon. I hope. I also thought maybe he was looking for someone just in case. I don't know exactly how to get the trust back. Is it o.k. to ask for e-mail passwords to check? There are just so many ways people can sneak around these days. It's kind of scary. After the 4 year mark I Will know. He says the girls at the club were just friends. I did meet two of them the night I caught him. But can they be trusted? Who knows. As for the call girls. He says he never met any of them. But I don't know.
alexalove
See the signs of these dishonesties for what they are. MANY people tried to warn me (even a couple professional counselors) about what I went throught with my ex-husband and looking back on it - they were ALL right about him. As I said before, now in different wording... you need to respect yourself enough to find a relationship with a man who is forthright and will always do the right thing by you and not hide things from you. PERIOD. True love comes from a person who doesn't need to play games with you and you don't have to wondering day in and day out, what is he doing on the internet??? where did he go last night??? do I need all his passwords???
It isn't very wierd that when you are ready to call it QUITS, he suddenely has a change of heart.
He is a classic "chaser". It's the chase and conquest he likes. Then after that it's not fun or exciting anymore, a problem starts. This is a playing a game with you, your emotions and your life.
Do you really need that?
Look, you say - you own your own business, you are raising a teenage daughter, and I'm assuming that you are a very talented and wonderful woman in a lot ways. Don't you deserve better than someone who will play games with you after 4 YEARS? Only you can change yourself. You will not be able to change him. I really LOVED my ex-husband too. But sometimes only love is just not enough to make a long term relationship work. He used to play in a band and sometimes was out all night, without me knowing where he was at all. I knew there were always "young groupie girls" around (that were JUST friends), because I went to a few of the gigs when he first started with band, but after awhile he "felt" better going by himself. Then he started disapearing for two-three days at a time without any explanations. When he was at home (rarely), I was at work and then would find out about all these crazy porn sites he was into.
When I finally said ENOUGH for the last time, this was when he all of sudden was going to change again. But I didn't fall for it anymore. I'd given him more than three strikes before he was out (after NINE years) and I was sick and tired of it. I deserved better.
So do you. Invest in yourself and don't go through what I went through.
