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Topic : Breaking Up

Number of Replies: 5114
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:06:14 pm
Author : dataimport
Is it time to end things with your significant other? Or, have you just been handed a relationship pink slip? Share your stories.

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June 14, 2009, 12:24 pm CDT

Boyfriend couldn't handle my grieving

I have been with this guy for over a 9 months. During those months i lost my job, had a miscarriage, a family member dearly close to me was brutally murdered and my father died. He was never there since he was wrappped up in work. Court hearings he always seemed to forget, dr apptshe never went or help out with the bill knowing i had lost my job but supported his male room mate. I called things off last week hoping he snapped and change but he has made no contact being that this would be the first year I had to celebrate my birthday with my family members. Why am I so hurt.
 
June 15, 2009, 3:21 am CDT

Boyfriend chooses freedom over love

Hello there,
A week ago my boyfriend broke up with me. We had a relationship fo 2 years and 9 months.
We still love eachother and it is very hard for me.
Sometimes we had fights, but we always decided to make things better in the end.
Even a week before the breakup he said he decided to be more passioned in this relationship we had.
Then he had some camp from a theaterclub he is with and a friend from his friend died and he realized he didn't do what he wanted in life, he had to get more out of life.
He came back home and was very silent and distant from me. And I asked him why he was.. he wouldn't tell me but told me in the end he needed time alone to think things over. So I gave him a weekend, but it didn't help. He decided to break up because the relationship was restraining him from being his happy self and to be 'really' alive everyday. I just don't understand, he wasn't himself with me, because he wasn't open enough. I understand a lot of men won't talk about their feelings, but I thought that in relationships problems could be solved together and now he just walks away.
It has been a week from now, I still feel very sad and kinda lonely, I don't have many friend, the ones I have are far away.
I was curious how he was doing and sent him a textmessage, then he replied that he was very busy and not happy with it and I answered that he should take time for himself to overthink things, because, he is always running away from his feelings. And then he said that I shouldn't care about him, that he just needed to have fun in life (I don't know why he can't have fun with me...) and that he didn't want to think and that I shouldn't wait for him to come back together.. I got angry about this somehow, feeling he didn't care about our relationship at all. But then he called the next morning and told me that he didn't mean that he didn't care, that he missed me and that it hurts a lot for him too but that he just doesn't want to think about it. Is that healthy? he wasn't very open in our relationship, probably the reason why it stranded because he can't tell what he want, he can't give his opinion so it seems he doesn't have one. I feel he has to be honest with himself and with me, even when we broke up, so I can leave things behind. So we decided to have a conversation somewhere in the future to talk about things, again.
I just don't understand, why can't he be with me, have fun with me, tell me all his feelings? Maybe it's his past, because he never could tell his parents or anyone else for that sake... and I know I shouldn't wait for him, but we were so close the last time we saw eachother, we still love eachother,.. then why breakup?
I can see something unhealthy in that he can't tell me what he wants.. but..  you could learn to do that, right?  Is there some future if he maybe learns from this?

Also.. I'm sorry if there is any bad English language.. I'm from the Netherlands and trying my best.
 
June 15, 2009, 5:25 pm CDT

question

Does anyone have any insight on this?  I started dating a woman who recently got out of a relationship.  She claimed it had been over for a year, no sex, little communication, both were unhappy, etc.  You get the picture.  Now after 2 months, she feels like she misses her ex and now is basically trying to decide if they should get back together (the ex states he would like her back). My question is....how realistic is it that they are going to make it work THIS time?  I told her that after 3 months it would probably be back to the way it was when they were unhappy. 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!  Thank  you!
 
June 18, 2009, 3:52 pm CDT

Breaking Up

Okay so I am having major trouble getting out of a 4 year relationship. My girlfriend and I have broken up a few times throughout our time together and every time this happens she lays some sort of guilt trip on me. She always crys in front of me and begs me not to leave and tells me how much she loves me and stuff, but what about me? I really feel like I am being there just to make her happy because my heart is really not in it. I guess I am a really soft hearted guy and I guess I worry about her feelings more than I do my own. So, how can I get away and not feel guilty? How can I get away and believe that I did the right thing for me?
 
June 18, 2009, 9:42 pm CDT

Breaking Up

Quote From: lotusflower1

Does anyone have any insight on this?  I started dating a woman who recently got out of a relationship.  She claimed it had been over for a year, no sex, little communication, both were unhappy, etc.  You get the picture.  Now after 2 months, she feels like she misses her ex and now is basically trying to decide if they should get back together (the ex states he would like her back). My question is....how realistic is it that they are going to make it work THIS time?  I told her that after 3 months it would probably be back to the way it was when they were unhappy. 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!  Thank  you!
I would say if she is open about missing her ex then you should encourage her to analize why he is her ex. There is a reason why we make people our ex.
 
June 19, 2009, 2:53 am CDT

In most cases,

Quote From: aba1969

Hi all,

 

My ex common law husband for 4 years and me had a 6 yrs. old daughter.  During those time of separation, we were off and on until last time was December 2004.  He had dated here and there and had a girlfriend in 2004 but only lasts 5 months.  He introduced our daughter to this girl only once.  After that girl, he dated another one that only lasts 3 months.  He came back to me and got back together again but only lasts for not even 2 weeks.  After a month he started seeing a new girl and already started exposing our daughter to her.  They are still together and both been spending time with my daughter sometime every other weekend when my daughter is with him. I overheard on his voice mail messages that this girl is already saying I love you to him.  I know it is not illegal for him to expose my daughter to her..but it's making me really angry.  I wanted to know this girl so I know who my daughter is spending time with when she is with her dad but he would not introduce her to me.  He already introduce her to her family but not to me.  Am I entitled to know or for him to introduce to me to his girlfriend or is this out of my business? 

I would think everyone would want, for lack of a better word, to meet.  When a child is involved it is a good idea to keep everyone on a friendly term basis, for the child's sake. She should want to mee you, he should want to meet anyonne you decided to date, and you should want to meet her.  At least once. This shows the child that there are no secrets and no one is getting hurt, not mommie, not daddie. It shows her that mom and dad are ok and are friends. What more can a kid ask for? 

 

Your anger is your fear. Someone is going to have to step up to plate here, looks like it will be you. Make a plan to all meet, without the child first, then with the child if the first visit goes smooth. Then that is it....Good luck.

 
June 19, 2009, 2:56 am CDT

Let her go and explore.

Quote From: lotusflower1

Does anyone have any insight on this?  I started dating a woman who recently got out of a relationship.  She claimed it had been over for a year, no sex, little communication, both were unhappy, etc.  You get the picture.  Now after 2 months, she feels like she misses her ex and now is basically trying to decide if they should get back together (the ex states he would like her back). My question is....how realistic is it that they are going to make it work THIS time?  I told her that after 3 months it would probably be back to the way it was when they were unhappy. 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!  Thank  you!
It is not your job to figure out if they are going to work out or not. You are not her therapist, you are her lover. You can't be both. If she goes back with him, it is a sign that she is a flip flop kind of person. Anyone that would go back to their ex's must be a little out of their heads. Do yourself a favor, let her go and explore and go find yourself someone that has their heads on straight.
 
June 21, 2009, 5:20 am CDT

keep it real

Quote From: ttoups88

Okay so I am having major trouble getting out of a 4 year relationship. My girlfriend and I have broken up a few times throughout our time together and every time this happens she lays some sort of guilt trip on me. She always crys in front of me and begs me not to leave and tells me how much she loves me and stuff, but what about me? I really feel like I am being there just to make her happy because my heart is really not in it. I guess I am a really soft hearted guy and I guess I worry about her feelings more than I do my own. So, how can I get away and not feel guilty? How can I get away and believe that I did the right thing for me?
its best just to sit her down and tell her the truth about how you feel ,you will feel better and the out come will be better then if you just fake your feelings let her know now while she can still let go in a nice way
 
June 21, 2009, 5:22 am CDT

Breaking Up

Quote From: bubles1

its best just to sit her down and tell her the truth about how you feel ,you will feel better and the out come will be better then if you just fake your feelings let her know now while she can still let go in a nice way
 
June 23, 2009, 6:58 am CDT

Sex problem

I dont if this is a problem or I just want to satisfy my desires.Iam a 24 yer old guy in a relationship with a 17 year old girl. My problem is my girlfriend doesnt want have sex and I want to have sex and I tried to break up with her twice I failed because of her behaviour of not wanting to have sex.Another thing is i love her  and now to solve this problem i found my self another girl who i had sex with.I realy dont know what to do but i love sex.Any advice for me

 
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