Topic : Breaking Up

I think what you are saying as a plan, sounds like a good plan, but first you may want to talk to her, and let her know you have recognized the changes you need to make in your own life, irregardless of her decisions, and let her know you would like another chance, once you have made what changes you need to make in your life.  

You want her to be honest with her, as well as she being honest with you. Let her know you are going to make these changes no matter, but if she thinks you should move on, then move on. IF she thinks there is a chance, then it would not be appropriate for you to be seeing others if she is waiting on you. ONE thing you need to make sure you are willing to do is, if she tells you you need to move on, accept it, and move on. If she is honest enough to tell you you should move on, don't go attempting to convince her to change her mind. You would have already told her of the changes you are going to be making in your life, so if even after that she wants to go on without you, accept it, and both will be happier, either way it goes. 

I hope this helps. Good luck, and let us know how things go. 

She's in charge of her life,  and you are in charge of yours.  What you need to do is focus on your own addictions, and let her deal with hers. I think the two of you are way to volatile for each other, and until the both of you are clean and sober, you are not any good for each other. The two of you will only bring each other further down, rather than build each other up. 

At this point in time,  I think you need to break contact with this woman, and focus on getting  yourself clean and sober. You need some counseling to go along with this, as this is not something one can easily do on their own. 

I hope this helps. Good luck, and keep us posted on how your recovery, if that is what you wind up doing, goes. 

I'm sitting here reading your message and your writing that this guy abuses alcohol, drugs, and you??  Get out of this relationship as quick as you can!! You two are only dating right now and he's treating you this badly?? Everyone deserves someone who will treat them with nothing but respect, and love! There is someone out there for you who will love you for who you are; and this includes your personal life: friends, going places, etc.!  Don't settle for less than you deserve! I can tell you this from my own experience! I was in a relationship for almost 4 years with a guy that treated me like crap most of the time! I understand how it's hard to leave, it's a bit scary to get out into the single world again, and it takes amazing strength to get out of a situation like that! But, do it! Get out now when you don't have any attachments! Respect yourself, and allow yourself to be happy and live the best life you can! That right guy who will treat you the way you deserve will find you soon I'm sure!! Take care of yourself ok! 

If you were meeting a girlfriend for lunch, would anything have been different with that lunch date? If not then nothing is wrong with having lunch with a friend. IF on your chats  on line, if you would have been comfortable copying and pasting your conversation to your boyfriend, then nothing has happened that is wrong.  

Men and women can be friends without it turning to sex. It is not the normal thing all people do. If you and your boyfriend,(bf) were in the same town, then you could have had lunch with your bf instead, but again, even if you were in the same town, a lunch date from time to time is not unreasonable, as long as it is a platonic relationship. These can turn dangerous, and many affairs start with something as innocent as that.  

I will tell you of an experience of my own. I have a female friend that I have been close with for years, (since she was four and I was 11). Back when she was married, we both enjoyed hiking, and her husband did not. He would watch their children while the two of us went hiking many times. Nothing ever happened between us, and it could have been another man, and it would have been the same. This is not the norm, but it is not wrong. The thing that should have happened, was her husband should have taken at least a small interest in hiking, so the two of them could have shared that, instead of it being me, but again it was a totally innocent thing.  

I think the acid test for you is what I basically said above. If on your chatting, you would have been comfortable if your bf had been sitting beside you while chatting,  and if everything that happened at lunch would not have changed if again, your bf had been sitting at the table beside you, then you have no reason for guilt.   

Things CAN happen and I am sure many would post that you are flirting with disaster, which in your case did happen as far as your bf's reaction, but it is his problem with insecurity, not yours. Maybe, since you said he has not been acting as close to you lately, that he used this as an excuse and it was something he was already wanting to do, but was not mature enough to come out and say it.  

You may be more confused after reading my post than you were before, I hope not, but from my point of view, especially since it was not when you had an opportunity to be with your bf, you did nothing wrong. It was above board, you told him about it, and if he had problems with it, he should have expressed these with you, not go off like a moron. I hope this helps, and good luck  

well me and my ex still talk its just hes making me think about us..today i told him that i got a new boyfriend nand he sounded mad or sad or something i dont even know ..but than hes saying he's not sure he loves me and secand day hes saying he does i realli dont know what to think anymore. when i told him that i have a boyfriend he was different like he wants me but i realy dont have a boyfriend because im in love with him and i would do anything to go back with him..what do you think how can i get him back??? 

HELPP PLEASE