Topic : Breaking Up

Hi i am a 27 yr. old single mother of one. I am currently in a relationship with someone that i have my doubts about. the reason i have my doubts is because of my daughter. at times she is happy to see my significant other and at other times she seems afraid. I am very confused because i know he has never hit her. i find that there are certain things other than this that bother me about this man. i am trying to clean up my credit so i can purchase a home for my daughter and i but until then we have nowhere to go. Help! any suggestions or advice? 

Hi i am really new to all this and i hope i can get my feelings across correctly.  

I am trying to change my life and my lifestyle. When i was younger(19yrs.) i made some really bad mistakes as far as credit wise and now i am trying to rectify those wrongs.I also got into a very bad relationship that lasted 6+ years and now have a beautiful 4yr. old daughter to show for it. the thing is that her father see's her every weekend and 9 times out of 10 i get her back wearing the same clothes she left in! i have taken him to court and we are still battling it out. But i know that that part of my life will always be there, because that is her father. 

another part of my life is that i am in a relationship that im not too sure about but don't know how to break it off. the biggest worry i have is my liitle girl. At times she loves chris(the man im currently living with) and at other times she is very much afraid of him. but due to my reckless decisions that i made when i was younger i am unable to finance an apartment or home. i am currently at my parents because we just found out i may have had seizures or a stroke and will continue to live here for the next 3 weeks. I could use some words of encouragement or advice.Thank you 

My 2 year relationship with a wonderful, kind, compassionate, do the right thing guy went from me moving to where he is (about 4-5 weeks ago)**  and visiting soon to a totally against everything he believes in short  ending things email with no call,  no discussion, no anything and this is completely out of character. This is a man who gave his friend the riot act for not breaking up with his girlfriend in person. OF course I know why he out of character. He has had more than 10 friends die this year (military) had to put both parents in a residential care situation only 3 weeks ago and spent the last 2 weeks helping a friend of over a decade see her husband through to his passing from a cancer he was diagnosed with only weeks earlier.. I know he is spent emotionally and so I understand why this happened, but what I don't know about is how does grief effect men. Our relationship had no real issues, we loved and respected each other and made it through two years mostly apart  (because of his work) with very few issues. I am not looking for why it ended today, but just if anyone there has experienced a man in their life ending things abruptly because they were going through a traumatic situation and if so what happened after the trauma passed..  just trying to sort out how men deal with grief as well..  

thanks 

** (long distance but met in person not on the internet)  

Hi, I could use some good advice on my situation.  I've been seeing someone for over 2 months (I'm 24 and he's 21).  We met right before the Christmas holidays, so I was in Houston with my family while he was in Austin, where I'm going to grad school.  During the holidays, we went out once a week for a month and it was great.  However, since school started again and we're now in the same city, I told him I wanted to see him more than just once a week for dinner, twice a week is good.  Since we hardly see each other, everytime we meet up it's kind of awkward and we've to reconnect again.  I really like him and would like to get to know him better, but I feel like we're stuck in the once-a-week mode and the relationship is not growing.  Also, he keeps changing his mind about the status of our relationship.  One minute he wants to date casually before things get too serious, the next he wants to date exclusively, and if he's mad at me about something he wants to break up.   

Last weekend, I told him I was going to an out-of-town wedding with a guy friend.  My friend asked me to go with him to his friend's wedding because he didn't have a date.  We've been good friends for years plus I like taking road trips so I said yes.  My guy got upset and said he wanted to break up.  I explained to him my reasons for going to the wedding and now he says he needs space and time to think about things.  I told him I'll give him 2 months and he can call me after that if he wants to see me again.  

I don't understand why he feels like he has a reason to be upset.  If he wants to be with me, he would make time to see me, especially after I told him outright that I wasn't happy with the whole once-a-week arrangement.  The fact that he doesn't make time for me makes me feel like he's not interested in having a serious relationship with me, or he doesn't want the relationship to progress.  Also, the status of our relationship keeps changing so I don't know how to answer when guy friends ask me to dinner or spend time with them.  It doesn't make sense to me that, on one hand, he gets jealous and upset when I spend time with other guys, but on the other hand, he doesn't want to make time for me.     

I'm an attractive, intelligent, nice girl who doesn't have a problem getting dates.  However, I'm only interested in him for the moment and would like to have a real relationship with him if I could.  What does he mean by needing space? Why does he act jealous if he doesn't want to make time for me? 

I am a single mom, I work part time and am a full time nursing student at college.  My husband of seventeen years left the home when I was in my first semester at school.  His main objective is to cause me to fail, and I totally refuse to quit.  My grades are better now than ever and I think its in part to my determination to "show" him I can do it without him.  I hurt so bad that the marriage fell apart, but it was due to the fact he got us so deep into debt and caused so many financial problems for us.  He see's now he made a mistake and wants to come home...I refuse to let him come back, I don't have a swinging door policy.  After a six month separation, we finally have a court date this week.  He is claiming he is broke (was self employed and made 300,000.00 last year) He took on a blue collar job to prove to the court that he has no money (temporarily closed down his company).  So....his support will be based soley on the job he currently has.  He makes 600.00/week.  IF my court ordered support is not enough for me to financially survive, I have thought about letting him have his boys until I finish school.  I would move in with my sister.  He has agreed to take the boys if he gets away with not having to "dish" out alot of money in support.  I will finish school in a year, be a Registered Nurse and be able to financially support myself and my boys.  I have always been at home with my children, and chose to begin something new for myself by going to college and HE wants me to fail....Am I wrong for wanting to finish, am I wrong for letting him have my boys until I finish school.  I feel selfish at times, but I will have a career in a year.  The boys would live about 6 miles from me while I finish school.  Please someone tell me what you think.