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Topic : Breaking Up

Number of Replies: 5114
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:06:14 pm
Author : dataimport
Is it time to end things with your significant other? Or, have you just been handed a relationship pink slip? Share your stories.

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August 3, 2005, 12:42 am CDT

I'M SO SORRY

Quote From: ltl_snbl

I read most of the stories on here and felt like talking about mine. I was in a relationship for about a year and a half. I know that isn't long for most people, but for me it was since I had been in a bad marriage a few years ago. I felt this guy was the most wonderful man in the world. Him and I had been talking about marriage. I knew in my heart that we would be together and nothing could come between us. We lived in the same town but because of his job we could go days without seeing each other. For the last 6 months of our relationship he was in another town for a school, the day before I was suppose to fly down for his graduation he broke up with me. The man did it over the internet, no phone call or anything like that. His excuse was that the distance was getting to him and he felt like he was rebounding. My friends and those around me tell me in need to move on and that I need to realize that it wasn't meant to be. In the 2 months since he broke up with me I have lost close to 15 pounds, which I didn't need to lose, one of my friends the other day told me I am starting to look anorexic. Some days I feel like I need to move on and should be looking for someone else, but there are many days when all I want to do is cry. Everyone who sees me, sees me smiling and pretending everything is fine but I know that part of me still wants to see him and have him in my life. To make matters harder I have 2 kids from my marriage, not with him, that thought he was the greatest and I feel like they think it is my fault that the relationship ended. I am at a point where I don't even know what to do. Sorry for rambling on like this, I am hoping this will help me work through my feelings.

I'M SO SORRY NOONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THOUGH THAT HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST DONE IT A DIFFERENT WAY I MEAN HAVE SOME DIGNITY DONT DO IT ON THE INTERNET AND I AM SO SORRY YOUR KIDS HAD TO GET INVOLVED THAT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE HARD I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE. SOMEONE TOLD ME THINK ABOUT IT DO YOU THINK HE IS SITTING HIS ROOM BAWLING HIS EYES OUT NO! SO WHY GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF HURTING YOU AND POSTPONING YOUR LIFE LIKE THAT WHAT GIVES HIM THAT RIGHT AND EVERYTIME YOU START TO GET DOWN I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT AND PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AGAIN. BECAUSE YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE YOU AND YOU ALONE NOT HIM NOT ANYONE AND I PROMISE SOMEONE ELSE WILL COME ALONG AND KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET AND YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HAVEING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN.

                                                                                                                     KAYLEE

KEEP IN CONTACT IF YOU LIKE!

 
August 3, 2005, 6:36 pm CDT

You don't need him

Quote From: ltl_snbl

I read most of the stories on here and felt like talking about mine. I was in a relationship for about a year and a half. I know that isn't long for most people, but for me it was since I had been in a bad marriage a few years ago. I felt this guy was the most wonderful man in the world. Him and I had been talking about marriage. I knew in my heart that we would be together and nothing could come between us. We lived in the same town but because of his job we could go days without seeing each other. For the last 6 months of our relationship he was in another town for a school, the day before I was suppose to fly down for his graduation he broke up with me. The man did it over the internet, no phone call or anything like that. His excuse was that the distance was getting to him and he felt like he was rebounding. My friends and those around me tell me in need to move on and that I need to realize that it wasn't meant to be. In the 2 months since he broke up with me I have lost close to 15 pounds, which I didn't need to lose, one of my friends the other day told me I am starting to look anorexic. Some days I feel like I need to move on and should be looking for someone else, but there are many days when all I want to do is cry. Everyone who sees me, sees me smiling and pretending everything is fine but I know that part of me still wants to see him and have him in my life. To make matters harder I have 2 kids from my marriage, not with him, that thought he was the greatest and I feel like they think it is my fault that the relationship ended. I am at a point where I don't even know what to do. Sorry for rambling on like this, I am hoping this will help me work through my feelings.
If he didn't even have the nerve to AT LEAST call you, then he's just a loser.  You sound like such a sweet person, and I'm sorry that you got hurt.  But I'm positve that you can find someone so much better.  You deserve someone better.
 
August 4, 2005, 1:55 am CDT

Breaking Up

Quote From: alysha1221

Well, I'm over Brandon.  This is how it went.  I recieved a call from him and he asked me to come over...  But he fell asleep while I was there leaving his friend Nick to entertain me until he woke up.  Nick and I went to the skate park and talked for a while and he interupts me in midsentence and says, "Brandon dosen't deserve a girl like you."  I was caught off guard and I didn't know what to say, so I just said, "Thank you".  I learned a lot from Nick.  And, later that night when we both went home, he came back over to my apartment and brought me my stuff that I had left over at their house.  He called me later that evening and asked me if I wanted to  hang out some more, so I said yes.  We sat in the bed of my truck until 5am just talking and at that time i finally realized that I had to work in four hours so I was walking inside when he says, "Honestly, you deserve someone so much better than Brandon.  You're so much cooler then the other girls he brings around.  You're smart and funny and you don't act stupid in front of men.  Just think about that."  So Nick helped me rethink a lot of things.  I mean, that's his best friend telling me that he wasn't good enough for me.  Anyways, nick and I have been hanging out a lot and I finally got to meet that other girl Brandon had been seeing.  Surprisingly, I wasn't jealous at all.  She's pretty and funny and I like her.  I hope Brandon is happy with her. 
I'm glad to see that someone told you that you deserve more. I was about to reply to your original message telling you just that but I see you got it from someone who really made you take notice. I sure hope things continue to improve for you.
 
August 5, 2005, 10:09 am CDT

how do you know when to quit?

i recently divorced my second husband after 10 years of hell.  7 of them living with him off and on, 3 trying to get rid of him.  Which I finally managed to do May 27,2005 at 1:14pm officially.  

2 of those last 3 years I've been seeing someone and I think I want out.  No, I do its just hard to explain.  Let me try.... He is almost a carbon copy of my ex.  We fight almost non-stop and I'm just tired.  Ive waited the entire time for him to grow up.  He's 31, Im 47.  He's insecure and immature, and jealous.  He breaks up with me every other day and he's been caught in numerous lies.  He knows about my past relationships and the difficulty I have had in them from being abused to cheated on.  He keeps me though by dangling money in front of me.   

I know I don't love him and sometimes he gets so possesive it scares me.  He buys me things, gives me money and has recently moved here to be with me.  My kids dont like him, so he's not allowed at the house.  I will not allow another man to ever treat me like my ex, but yet i let this one cross way to many lines.  If I lose him it will be upsetting because I will miss him but why?  I mostly know what needs to be done and I think all I need is support for when I do it.  Are there any online groups or a someone that could help me through?  Any advice from anyone male or female would be greatly appreciated.  thanks. 

 
August 5, 2005, 9:02 pm CDT

i would love to

Quote From: kaylee1985

I'M SO SORRY NOONE SHOULD HAVE TO GO THOUGH THAT HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST DONE IT A DIFFERENT WAY I MEAN HAVE SOME DIGNITY DONT DO IT ON THE INTERNET AND I AM SO SORRY YOUR KIDS HAD TO GET INVOLVED THAT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE HARD I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE. SOMEONE TOLD ME THINK ABOUT IT DO YOU THINK HE IS SITTING HIS ROOM BAWLING HIS EYES OUT NO! SO WHY GIVE HIM THE SATISFACTION OF HURTING YOU AND POSTPONING YOUR LIFE LIKE THAT WHAT GIVES HIM THAT RIGHT AND EVERYTIME YOU START TO GET DOWN I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT AND PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AGAIN. BECAUSE YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE YOU AND YOU ALONE NOT HIM NOT ANYONE AND I PROMISE SOMEONE ELSE WILL COME ALONG AND KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET AND YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM AND WHEN YOU FIND THE RIGHT PERSON YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HAVEING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN.

                                                                                                                     KAYLEE

KEEP IN CONTACT IF YOU LIKE!

i would love to stay in contact with you in fact i have a problem maybe you can help me with i'm seeing a guy named well will call him(mitch) me and mitch have been togeather for 5 years next month and he's a great guy sometimes but other times he's abusive mentaly verbally and of course physically he calls me horrible names and treats me like a child who should have to answer to him i know that this sounds horrible and the answer to my problem is prety clear but i guess when you get used to hearing someone put you down you start to believe it and you lose your self esteem and thats the only reason i can come up with for why i stay with him other than love of course i guess if anything i should take the advice i gave you i am so torn i just dont know what to do maybe  you can help me just give me your advice.  

                                                         thank you  

                                                                      kaylee 

  

if anyone else has any advice please feel free to tell me i can use all the help and support i can get 

 
August 7, 2005, 7:34 am CDT

to kaylee

Quote From: kaylee1985

i would love to stay in contact with you in fact i have a problem maybe you can help me with i'm seeing a guy named well will call him(mitch) me and mitch have been togeather for 5 years next month and he's a great guy sometimes but other times he's abusive mentaly verbally and of course physically he calls me horrible names and treats me like a child who should have to answer to him i know that this sounds horrible and the answer to my problem is prety clear but i guess when you get used to hearing someone put you down you start to believe it and you lose your self esteem and thats the only reason i can come up with for why i stay with him other than love of course i guess if anything i should take the advice i gave you i am so torn i just dont know what to do maybe  you can help me just give me your advice.  

                                                         thank you  

                                                                      kaylee 

  

if anyone else has any advice please feel free to tell me i can use all the help and support i can get 

about you and "mitch".  Leave.  Leave now.  or you'll end up like me and trust me, nobody wants that.  if you have children, do you really want  that influence on them?  I just came out of a similar situation and the harm it has done to my son and myself is devestating.  My ex was bad about that.  Mental and emotional abuse to me, is worse than the physical.  At least the cuts bruises and broken bones heal.  The emotional and mental scaring is far more difficult to heal.  Fortunately for me there was no physical abuse in that relationship which lasted 10 long years.  My ex would not let me have friends, go out, take us anywhere, my son could not go to headstart or play with other children, and he abused drugs and alcohol, ignored us when he was home and spent the rest of the time with other women.  That said, take some more advice, dont think youre alone.  Believe it or not, I have chosen to be in a relationship that is almost identical to the one i just left.  But I have more control over this one.  I digress, sorry.  All Im saying is that if I can escape anyone can.  And of those 10 years I spent 7 trying to escape.  It was scarry, it still is scarry.  I had the support of a wonderful daughter and son-in-law, who took in her mother and little brother.  I still continue to work on my scars and build my self esteem which right now has hit rock bottom again.  Ive been working on all that he took for me for 3 years.  You can do this.  If you have no one that will help you, go to your shelter for women in your town if you have one(I did that once) but please, dont wait another 5 years to leave.  If you need additional support or to draw on someones strength, I'll gladly be there for you with mine.  If you need to or want to stay in touch here on the board I'd be happy to help.  by the way, just call me m.  oh, and ps...."great guys" dont abuse their women.
 
August 7, 2005, 10:42 am CDT

Walk Away

Quote From: white8

i recently divorced my second husband after 10 years of hell.  7 of them living with him off and on, 3 trying to get rid of him.  Which I finally managed to do May 27,2005 at 1:14pm officially.  

2 of those last 3 years I've been seeing someone and I think I want out.  No, I do its just hard to explain.  Let me try.... He is almost a carbon copy of my ex.  We fight almost non-stop and I'm just tired.  Ive waited the entire time for him to grow up.  He's 31, Im 47.  He's insecure and immature, and jealous.  He breaks up with me every other day and he's been caught in numerous lies.  He knows about my past relationships and the difficulty I have had in them from being abused to cheated on.  He keeps me though by dangling money in front of me.   

I know I don't love him and sometimes he gets so possesive it scares me.  He buys me things, gives me money and has recently moved here to be with me.  My kids dont like him, so he's not allowed at the house.  I will not allow another man to ever treat me like my ex, but yet i let this one cross way to many lines.  If I lose him it will be upsetting because I will miss him but why?  I mostly know what needs to be done and I think all I need is support for when I do it.  Are there any online groups or a someone that could help me through?  Any advice from anyone male or female would be greatly appreciated.  thanks. 

You have already stated that you know what you want to do - get out of the relationship.  You don't like him, your kids don't like him, he's not allowed in your house and he is very possesive.  These are all very strong signs that this is a relationship that must be ended.  

 

You'll miss him because he has been a part of your life for 2 years and you have created memories and a bond with him.  However, this doesn't mean that you should stay. Don't let him make you feel guilty or obligated or afraid and stay with him because of this.  It says something about him that the only way he thinks you'll stay is if he tempts you with money.   

 

You will have support here and the support of your children when you end it.  I'm sure if you do an on-line search that you will be able to find a local support group as well.  Best of luck. 

 
August 7, 2005, 11:56 am CDT

Want to Get Over Him

In 1983 at 20 years old, I had a two month relationship with a man during training in the early months of my three-year military tour of duty. After training, we ended up being stationed in different places (him near the east coast, me in the southwest). We had an emotional parting, however, as we settled into our new lives, we lost touch. Thirteen years later, he contacts me. He is still in the military and married. We talked on the phone a few times about old times, but we didn't keep in touch. Eight years later in March 05, he contacts me again. He is atttending military school in the state I live in just two hours from the city I live in. He was now divorced. He visited me several weekends. It was a great joy to spend time with him. I began to fall in love with him. After he was finished with school in July 05 and was visiting me before he returned home, I told him I wanted to pursue our relationship and see what may develop. He said that though he liked me alot, he did not want a committed relationship. I was hurt, but I tried to be 'just a friend'. We kept in touch after he returned home and I quitely hoped that we would become a couple, but I was more hurt when it became clear that he had no desire for that. I ended our communication. Now I'm sad and depressed. Someone please help me! 

 
August 8, 2005, 6:11 pm CDT

thank you so much

Quote From: white8

about you and "mitch".  Leave.  Leave now.  or you'll end up like me and trust me, nobody wants that.  if you have children, do you really want  that influence on them?  I just came out of a similar situation and the harm it has done to my son and myself is devestating.  My ex was bad about that.  Mental and emotional abuse to me, is worse than the physical.  At least the cuts bruises and broken bones heal.  The emotional and mental scaring is far more difficult to heal.  Fortunately for me there was no physical abuse in that relationship which lasted 10 long years.  My ex would not let me have friends, go out, take us anywhere, my son could not go to headstart or play with other children, and he abused drugs and alcohol, ignored us when he was home and spent the rest of the time with other women.  That said, take some more advice, dont think youre alone.  Believe it or not, I have chosen to be in a relationship that is almost identical to the one i just left.  But I have more control over this one.  I digress, sorry.  All Im saying is that if I can escape anyone can.  And of those 10 years I spent 7 trying to escape.  It was scarry, it still is scarry.  I had the support of a wonderful daughter and son-in-law, who took in her mother and little brother.  I still continue to work on my scars and build my self esteem which right now has hit rock bottom again.  Ive been working on all that he took for me for 3 years.  You can do this.  If you have no one that will help you, go to your shelter for women in your town if you have one(I did that once) but please, dont wait another 5 years to leave.  If you need additional support or to draw on someones strength, I'll gladly be there for you with mine.  If you need to or want to stay in touch here on the board I'd be happy to help.  by the way, just call me m.  oh, and ps...."great guys" dont abuse their women.

I KNOW YOU ARE RIGHT ITS JUST HARD I FEEL LIKE I LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH AND HOW COULD I SPEND MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM THEN OTHER TIMES I HATE HIM WITH A PASSION HE TO ABUSES ALCOHOL AND DRUGS IN FACT THAT IS WHEN HE IS ABUSIVE I WOULD LIKE TO BLAME IT ON ALCOHOL BUT DEEP IN MY HEART I KNOW THAT IS JUST AN EXSCUSE HE TO WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO HAVE FRIENDS AND GO PLACE AND I FEEL MORE LIKE HIS 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER THAN HIS GIRLFRIEND AND I GUESS I JUST FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP SO MUCH I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW BUT I WOULD LOVE TO STAY IN CONTACT WITH YOU MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS (KAYLEE_M_1985@YAHOO.COM) WRITE ME IF YOU WANT OR IF YOU WOULD RATHER JUST TALK ON HERE THATS FINE TO HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON  

                                                                                              KAYLEE 

 
August 8, 2005, 6:24 pm CDT

thats horrible

Quote From: teemarie03

pregnant and alone

Where do I start? Right now my life is pretty messed up right now. I am 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 years has ran off to Virginia. I already have a one year old son with him and things werent great but they werent the worst. about 2 weeks ago he was helping his god parents move to Virginia, then on my sons first birthday july 09 he calls me and says he wasn't going to make it to the party. He had  the nerve enough to tell me that he could've gotten a bus ticket home but he needed time to himself he was too stressed out. Boy was I hurt to the bone. I figured its your sons 1st birthday and your being so selfish by saying that you needed to get away. At a time like this? His reply was "me missing his first birthday is between me and him and I don't  have to answer to anyone but him." Well that may be true to a certain extent but come on it's your sons first birthday why would you want to miss out on that? I was furious. I told him not to bother me for awhile. He calls the party to speak with his brother and tells him he on his way to Virginia Beach. Does anyone else see something wrong with that. he tells him also that he would be back later on that week. After that I didnt hear from him until the following Saturday and he  calls me and tells me that he might be staying down there for awhile and that he's going to the shipyard to find work every morning. I was so hurt. I was crying hysterically I mean I loved this boy. I would do anything for him. I mean it just happened so fast. The day before he left we were doing fine we watched a movie after I got off work then he took me home we did our I love yous and kisses. He says he understands why I am so hurt but I dont see how you could do somebody like this if  you love them. His main rebuttals i are I need time to myself to get my head on straight. you dont know what is going oon in someones head or what people are thinking, I am too stressed out. Sometimes you have think about yourself no matter who it hurts or you'll never be happy.

I know it's not all about me but I am crushed I need my boyfriend right now to get through this pregnancy to hug me kiss me talk to me but he says he to stressed out and he needs to get his life togather and start thinking more about himself. I feel like I am worthless. I cry every night . I cant believe he just left me like he did. He was my first for everything. This was even a big blow to his family. If you knew Justin you thought he would always be there for his kids if not his girlfriend. I feel embarassed when someone asks me how we're doing or where he's at.

He called me yesterday to ask about our son the convo was dry and forced. he began telling how he found a job and that he even started going to church. It looks like to me he's not coming back and that hurts more than anything. when he talks i can truly hear happiness in his voice. I want to be happy for him but I am not happy with how he left me. I feel burdened and stressed. I am begining to blame him for my anger, sadness, and depression. i feel like his happiness costed me what little happiness i had. at times I hate his guts at other times i miss him and I still love him. I cry all the time I need help.  does anyone have any advice.

 

thanks

Teena marie

Columbus Ohio

WHAT A JERK HE MAY BE A NICE GUY.AND I MEAN I'M ALL FOR FINDING YOUR SELF AND SPENDING SOME TIME ALONE I OFTEN DO THAT BUT TO RUN OFF AND LEAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND 7 MONTHS PREGNANT AND MISS HIS SONS FIRST BIRTHDAY MAKES ME BELIEVE THAT YOU NEED TO FORGET ABOUT HIM. UNLESS HE DECIDES TO GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FAMILY HE CREATED AND THEN LEFT. BUT UNTIL THEN I WOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER TAKEING HIM BACK ANY ONE THAT IS THAT CARELESS WITH HIS LIFE AND SOMEONE ELSES IS NOT THE KIND OF PERSON YOU NEED TO EXSPOSE YOUR CHILDREN TO I KNOW YOU LOVE HIM AND WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING FOR IT TO WORK OUT BUT IN LESS HE MAKES AN EFFORT TO MAKE A MENDS THEN YOUR BETTER OFF ALONE I AM SO SORRY YOU AND YOUR SON AND YOUR UNBORN BABY HAVE TO GO THOUGH THIS I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST FOR YOU! 

                                                                                                                      KAYLEE 

IF YOU EVER  NEED ANYTHING OR JUST NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE MY E-MAIL ADRESS IS (KAYLEE_M_1985@YAHOO.COM) TRUST ME I'M GOING THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILUR AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU 

 
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