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Topic : Breaking Up
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April 25, 2006, 4:34 am PDT
 Quote From: allalone61 need a females input!!!!!!!!!!! I know you are not a coulseler but your input would be very much appreciated! I would like to get your opinion on the following, I was recently dating a lady for 2 months who is 36 yrs old. She is a Catholic school teacher who is not being rehired at her school due to consolidation. At least that is what she told me. She has a past of not paying her bills, having utilities turned off, her house is a mess, so much so that it is infested with ants. A sheriff has come to her door with a summons for court to pay a bill. All this while I was in her life, at first all was great, i tried to help her clean her house, i helped with laundry, did dishes etc. She borrowed $300.00 from me and I gave it freely. I would tell her how much I cared for her, I showed it by buying flowers, and cards, I left love notes on her car. and what she meant to me. She could not tell me as easily that she cared for me but i thought with time she might. She would tell me I should just know that she cared by her actions. Yes we held hands, yes we had sex, I was invited to dinner a few times, I met her kid as well. But she could not tell me she loved me on her own without me saying it first. Yes once in awhile she would say "I love you" but not until I said it first! I would arrive each eve and she would open the door and say hi and walk into the family room, no hug, no kiss. We would sit on the couch, it was about 9:30 when I arrived, by 10:15 she was leaning against me sleeping. I let this go for several weeks, then I said, "what no hug or kiss when I arrive" she then started to do so but I could tell it was a chore for her to do. I also brought up the falling asleep all the time, so she then would no longer sit next to me on the couch. She said if she did she would get comfy and fall asleep! I must be very boring! We went To St Louis for a weekend getaway and to KC as well. On 3/19 while in KC when she got out of bed she stubbed her toe on a chair and busted it. We reported it to hotel mgmt and left. On 3/26 she went to Vegas with her sister, and not pay bills, she took her $100.00 emergency money. She cant pay some bills but she has money to go to Vegas. As she called me from the airport preparing to leave I told her I loved her, she said OK and goodbye. No I love you too. While at Vegas she was getting ready to leave the hotel and she told them at the hotel she had slipped on some water in the bathroom and busted her toe there, but in reality she did that 2 weeks earlier. The hotel comped her room and was going to send her a check for $500.00 for incurred medical bills which she never had. I told her that she was wrong when she told me, she laughed at me and said "well all the hotels are tied together so it is OK and I lost $25.00 so they owed me" I said to her that she was wrong that the hotel in KC was not the same as the hotel in Vegas, she just smiled at me. She ended the relationship, because we would get into arguments about her not saying I love you, or even saying that she wanted me in her life, As I said, she would just tell me that I should just know by her actions, but her actions were not very clear to me so I asked her to at least tell me that she wanted me in her life, but she could not say that, again she would say I should just know. I was having doubts about her anyhow due to what she did at the hotel in Vegas. I told her if she could lie to the hotel she sure could lie to me and as far as I was concerned she stole money from the hotel. in addition to what you have already read, there was a time she did not have potatoes to make something, so I told her i would go get them for dinner, while at the store she added on several items, I paid all, then i remember once one of her kids were caughing real bad and she had no medicine for them, she told me he would be ok, but as a good dad should i went to the stoe at 11pm to get medicine. Upon returning from each trip, she said thanks but it was not a heart felt thanks. She paid nothing either, yes she offered but i knew she really did not have the money so i did not accept any money, what i was hoping for was to hear something like, "I am so lucky to have you, you are such a great man and i am glad I met you" but nope nada. I took her to Chicago, she did not have to pay for anything, while in Chicago she was telling me about her X boyfriend who lived there and how he would give her $70.00 a day, (that was what his per diem was) to spend in any way she wanted while she walked around the city. She also tried to show me where he lived, like I gave a frack anyhow, I asked her why they broke up and she said that she called him one time and a female answered. hmmmmmmmm go figure! So how stupid am I, I really tried to make it work, what did I do worng? wsa I wrong about bringing up the hug and kiss at the door, or her falling asleep on me all the time? What should i have done differently, please, I am at wits end here. When she broke it off with me I was really upset, i felt like i was ready to throw in the towel and i told her so, i said the i really have nothing to live for. i thought if death were to come i would not fight it, i would not go do something stupid though. Then i became angry with her, I demended the money back the she borrowed. She returned it and I have not spoken to her since, no contact what so ever! So how wrong was I, what did i do wrong??? What am I missing here, is what she did OK, what should I do???? Please help me!!!!! Hello, How are you doing. I am going to be short and brief. Try treating a woman like she is nothing and you may get positive results. If you start treating a woman like a queen, they will dogg you out. I use to be just like that and say I love you and all this. The men dogg me out. They said I was too nice. The minute I start cursing and telling them to kiss my (.) They loved me to death. Your first mistake was giving her money and paying for her stuff. I have known my boyfriend for 4 years but only been dating for 1 year. He and I split everything when we go to the movies and out to eat or anything. I do not believe a man should have to pay for everything. I am an independent woman and really do not need a man for nothing but it helps out if two parties can split things up. If I pay for the movies, he will pay for us to eat. If you can find a woman like that, you will be fine. Now, some women believe in the man paying for everything but this is year 2000. It takes 2 these days. I would have left her when I saw the ants in the house and you said she don't pay bills. Oh no, I really would have to leave her then. |
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April 25, 2006, 6:33 am PDT
Quote From: fell4him I have been with him for 3+ years. After knowing him for only 3 months we moved in with each other and 3 months after that I left my home town for another state in which is expressed that he wanted to be closer to his mother who was going through a second kidney transplant. I agreed without second guessing myself. Yes, I admitt that I was caught up in "love" and felt that we were perfect for each other. I have found out that the man that I moved out here for is no longer there. Once getting out here he refused to take care of his mother and preferred to "hang out" his all of his friends instead. He is 29 years old and this is the first relationship he has ever been in. Ever since I have moved out here I have always come second. It has been a constant struggle with him putting his "friends" first (even before his family). You see, he sold me on the fact that this state we were moving to was this wonderful fantasy, "it was a dream come true". I have now lived out here for 2 1/2 years and am miserable. I understand that I make my own destiny however the man that I left my family, friends & life for is no longer there. He would rather stay late at work and golf with buddies or go over a friend's house and watch sports....anything but come home. I guess my goals in a relationship are completely different than his. I am stuck right now because when I talk to him about my feelings he says that everything is "perfect" in his eyes and that there is more good than bad. I guess I am a realist when is comes to my relationship and I see that neither of us are happy, A healthy relationship is one that is free from jealously and works well with compromise. I am in a relationship that is full of jealously and lacks any type of compromise. I know that in the begining I moved too fast, of course I fell for it....that perfect relationship feeling. It felt so great at first, we made each other laugh, always had something to talk about and never0 . went to bed mad. Now we never see each other, are surrounded by awkward moments and nomaly go to bed upset or hurt. He knows that our relationship is on the rocks yet his still continues on his "singles" life. I know that I am as much to blame as him because I am still here. I try to talk to him and explain that there are other women out there that are better for him and yet he still refuses. I'm not emotionally nor physically attracted to this man and I don't want to waste his time anymore. I don't want to give him false hope that I will be there in six months. I see that he has his life out here and that all he needs are his friends. He is not ready for a relationship, a wife, a family. Am I wrong to just leave? I have tried to make things work numerous times and I feel that now it's me that needs to take a stand. Now it's my decision to go right or left in this fork in the road. I love him enough to let him go, let him find that one person out there that will fullfil his every need. Should I make more of an effort, such as counseling or move on? You would not be wrong if you leave. You have talked to him several times and he is still not going to change. It is time for you to go. It will just get worse as the years goes on. My boyfriend and I have known each other for 4 years but only dated a year. He has his own place. I do not live with him. We are planning to move in together this year sometime. We both are in our mid 30's with no kids. You best to believe I will be at a stage where if there is any problems, I will pick up and leave. A person never know who they miss until you are gone. When you leave, he will miss you. it seems to me he is not ready for a relationship and want to party all the time. Why don't he call you and ask if you want to go to? At least you two are spending time together instead of at night when you two go to bed. If you are not attracted to him, then the relationship is shot. I cannot be with a man if I am not attracted to him. You should leave. Good Luck! |
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April 25, 2006, 6:48 am PDT
Quote From: calsma Last week I finally called the "other woman" and her husband. He told me the thought for sure that my husand and her are having an affair, but had no proof & the phone calling was all he needed. They are getting a divorce. When I called her she of course swore that she has never even touched my husband & he says the same & all it is is phone calls. He told me after that that he wasn't gonna call her anymore & work on our marriage. I found out yesterday that he has been trying to call her but she won't answer his calls. WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would get a divorce. I am a firm believer of once a cheater, always a cheater. After they cheat, 97% of the time, they will cheat again. The other 3% will not. The reason I say 3% is because some of them learn their lesson after that first time. If he said he was not going to call her again and he did. He will still continue to call and maybe even find someone else to talk to. It is up to you what you want to do. Only you can make that decision. Remember, a man can only do what you allow them to do. Good Luck! |
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April 25, 2006, 6:59 am PDT
Quote From: student9 Two weeks ago, my boyfriend of almost two years and I ended our relationship. We both love each other very much but he told me that he didn't see a future with me.
We're both university students and he's just finishing his second year. He's 29 and I'm turning 22. He has a lot of anxiety about his future, he feels like he hasn't done much with it and wants to begin a "real" career (which is why he why he went back to school). There are quite a few things in his life that he isn't happy with but I tell him all the time how proud I am of him that he's taking the steps to change his life.
Even though I'm younger than him, I have a pretty good grasp of what I want in life and have been working at achieving my goals. When we broke up, I asked him why he didn't see a future with me. He said it was just "a feeling" he had. We talked more and he told me that I had a really good idea of who I was and that he didn't have that.
Our relationship wasn't perfect but I was happy with him and saw potential for a future with him. We communicated very well, had a lot of fun together, went through a lot of tough things together and had great chemistry. He told me that I was the most caring and most honest person he had ever met. He also told me that he was still very attracted to me and loves me.
I'm new to relationships. This is the first real relationship that I've had. If we shared all these great things together and still love each other, why doesn't he see a future with me? The main reason my boyfriend and I broke up was because I want to be in a relationship that is leading towards marriage. I want to have a family eventually. Since he can't see a future with me, he thought it was better to be honest about it than hurt me down the road. What I want to know is, what else does there need to be in a relationship for both people to feel that they're right for each other?
Since we ended our relationship, we have been spending a lot of time together (at school), studying. Both of us were able to focus really well while studying together, for me it was because I didn't have to think about how much I missed him, he was right there. For him, he says that I just help him focus. For the past week that we have been studying together, we have had some of the best conversations we have ever had and he's been much more considerate of me. There were times during our relationship where he wouldn't be very considerate. He would make decisions and thought about me afterwards. Since we've broken up, he's been more considerate than I have ever seen him.
Do I need to move on with my life or should I keep him in my life? Is he just confused about us or should I take his word and accept that I'm not the one for him? My boyfriend and I have been friends for 4 years but only dated for 1 year. Truthfully, our friendship was better than our relationship. We had much communication and it was no jealousy or anything. Since we have been dating, it has been jealousy and arguing constantly. He had finally said he and I needed to take a break for a couple of days to regain our friendship and have that communication with no arguing again. Maybe you two just needed a break from the relationship thing. You two are getting along great now as friends. I would keep it on a friendship level for now and see what happens. Even if you wanted to see someone else or he wanted to see someone else, you two still should be friends. Friends are hard to come by. You always need someone of the opposite sex to at least talk to. Good Luck! |
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April 25, 2006, 7:01 am PDT
The Distant Past: My girlfriend once dated a guy for about 2 weeks, left him for a bad reason and never really got over it.
The Last 3 years: We have been together, we’ve lived together for almost 3 years, and now own a house together.
3 Years ago: When we started dating, I had a female friend who I talked to pretty much every day. At the time, she was pretty much my only friend. My girlfriend obviously saw her as competition, though she wasn’t, and insisted that I stop talking with her. I know it’s wrong, but I did stop, and I haven’t talked to her since.
5 months ago: She saw the guy she once dated again, in passing, and they decided to hang out again, though just as friends. I told her at he time that I didn’t think it wise, because she never really got over the guy.
4 Months ago: They started hanging out, though only at our house really. (The guy seems respectful, and was recently through the same thing.) Our relationship started to go downhill. Intimacy was “Weird” for her, and things just weren’t going very well.
2 Months ago: I found a chat session open with one of her other friends, in which she said she “wasn’t sure what she wanted from their friendship”. (We were having a rocky patch in our relationship) She also said to the friend that when she saw him a few months ago again, that she realised she still had feelings for him.
The Next 2 Days: I freaked out, we talked about it, and she said it was just because we were having some problems. (More boredom problems due to the Canadian winter than actual relationship problems…) I again told her that it was a bad idea for the two to continue to hang out, but I didn’t want to tell her what to do and what not to, as I hate those kinds of people who control their significant others.
4 Weeks ago: An email arrived in my inbox, which was a copy of an email she had sent to the guy. In which she said the following (Roughly):
I love so many things about you, and it would be nice to be on the journey of life together.
And
When you move away to wherever you are going, it would be great if you could take me with you.
Love girlfriendsName
Next Few Days: I again freaked out, but I wasn’t prepared to leave her and throw away the last 3 years. She insists that she did not mean it in a “Romantic Way” but I can’t understand how someone could mean that in a non-romantic way. Breaking from my beliefs, I told her that if she continued to talk to, and hang out with the guy that I was going to leave her. Because I don’t deserve to be treated like that, I told her if she wanted to explore a relationship with the guy then that was up to her, but it wouldn’t be behind my back, and dragging me along. She agreed. Our relationship immediately rebounded to being better than ever.
3 days ago: She wants to hang out with him again. She says I’m being controlling, and doesn’t like it. So, she said she’s going to talk to her friends if she wants to, because I shouldn’t be trying to control her. She says she knows what she did wrong, and it isn’t going to happen again… She only wrote that because she was confused.
Now: I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave her, but I can’t get her to understand that their relationship is unhealthy for ours. She insists that she doesn’t want more than friendship from the guy, and I can’t bring myself to believe that.
Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? I can’t help but think that our relationship will again go downhill… I don’t know what to do.
I’m not sure if Dr. Phil reads these message boards, but I know if he could respond, and I could show her what he says that it would make more of an impact. We both watch the show almost daily. And if it turns out that I’m wrong, it would mean a lot that I could his advice also.
Any help is appreciated.
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April 25, 2006, 7:06 am PDT
Quote From: teemarie03 pregnant and aloneWhere do I start? Right now my life is pretty messed up right now. I am 7 months pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 years has ran off to Virginia. I already have a one year old son with him and things werent great but they werent the worst. about 2 weeks ago he was helping his god parents move to Virginia, then on my sons first birthday july 09 he calls me and says he wasn't going to make it to the party. He had the nerve enough to tell me that he could've gotten a bus ticket home but he needed time to himself he was too stressed out. Boy was I hurt to the bone. I figured its your sons 1st birthday and your being so selfish by saying that you needed to get away. At a time like this? His reply was "me missing his first birthday is between me and him and I don't have to answer to anyone but him." Well that may be true to a certain extent but come on it's your sons first birthday why would you want to miss out on that? I was furious. I told him not to bother me for awhile. He calls the party to speak with his brother and tells him he on his way to Virginia Beach. Does anyone else see something wrong with that. he tells him also that he would be back later on that week. After that I didnt hear from him until the following Saturday and he calls me and tells me that he might be staying down there for awhile and that he's going to the shipyard to find work every morning. I was so hurt. I was crying hysterically I mean I loved this boy. I would do anything for him. I mean it just happened so fast. The day before he left we were doing fine we watched a movie after I got off work then he took me home we did our I love yous and kisses. He says he understands why I am so hurt but I dont see how you could do somebody like this if you love them. His main rebuttals i are I need time to myself to get my head on straight. you dont know what is going oon in someones head or what people are thinking, I am too stressed out. Sometimes you have think about yourself no matter who it hurts or you'll never be happy. I know it's not all about me but I am crushed I need my boyfriend right now to get through this pregnancy to hug me kiss me talk to me but he says he to stressed out and he needs to get his life togather and start thinking more about himself. I feel like I am worthless. I cry every night . I cant believe he just left me like he did. He was my first for everything. This was even a big blow to his family. If you knew Justin you thought he would always be there for his kids if not his girlfriend. I feel embarassed when someone asks me how we're doing or where he's at. He called me yesterday to ask about our son the convo was dry and forced. he began telling how he found a job and that he even started going to church. It looks like to me he's not coming back and that hurts more than anything. when he talks i can truly hear happiness in his voice. I want to be happy for him but I am not happy with how he left me. I feel burdened and stressed. I am begining to blame him for my anger, sadness, and depression. i feel like his happiness costed me what little happiness i had. at times I hate his guts at other times i miss him and I still love him. I cry all the time I need help. does anyone have any advice.
thanks Teena marie Columbus Ohio Hello, I was just at Va Beach last weekend. Anyway, you need to take care of the your son and your unborn child and do not worry about what he is doing. You have two kids to think about. He is just a typical man that is running away. He may be trying to get himself together to bring you and the kids where he is in Va. I am not the type to say leave him alone and all this. You need to do what you want to do. I know you love him and I have been in the same situation. In a situation like that, I done something to keep my mind occupied from not thinking about him. Good Luck and god bless. |
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April 25, 2006, 8:10 am PDT
Quote From: k2x5canada The Distant Past: My girlfriend once dated a guy for about 2 weeks, left him for a bad reason and never really got over it.
The Last 3 years: We have been together, we’ve lived together for almost 3 years, and now own a house together.
3 Years ago: When we started dating, I had a female friend who I talked to pretty much every day. At the time, she was pretty much my only friend. My girlfriend obviously saw her as competition, though she wasn’t, and insisted that I stop talking with her. I know it’s wrong, but I did stop, and I haven’t talked to her since.
5 months ago: She saw the guy she once dated again, in passing, and they decided to hang out again, though just as friends. I told her at he time that I didn’t think it wise, because she never really got over the guy.
4 Months ago: They started hanging out, though only at our house really. (The guy seems respectful, and was recently through the same thing.) Our relationship started to go downhill. Intimacy was “Weird” for her, and things just weren’t going very well.
2 Months ago: I found a chat session open with one of her other friends, in which she said she “wasn’t sure what she wanted from their friendship”. (We were having a rocky patch in our relationship) She also said to the friend that when she saw him a few months ago again, that she realised she still had feelings for him.
The Next 2 Days: I freaked out, we talked about it, and she said it was just because we were having some problems. (More boredom problems due to the Canadian winter than actual relationship problems…) I again told her that it was a bad idea for the two to continue to hang out, but I didn’t want to tell her what to do and what not to, as I hate those kinds of people who control their significant others.
4 Weeks ago: An email arrived in my inbox, which was a copy of an email she had sent to the guy. In which she said the following (Roughly):
I love so many things about you, and it would be nice to be on the journey of life together.
And
When you move away to wherever you are going, it would be great if you could take me with you.
Love girlfriendsName
Next Few Days: I again freaked out, but I wasn’t prepared to leave her and throw away the last 3 years. She insists that she did not mean it in a “Romantic Way” but I can’t understand how someone could mean that in a non-romantic way. Breaking from my beliefs, I told her that if she continued to talk to, and hang out with the guy that I was going to leave her. Because I don’t deserve to be treated like that, I told her if she wanted to explore a relationship with the guy then that was up to her, but it wouldn’t be behind my back, and dragging me along. She agreed. Our relationship immediately rebounded to being better than ever.
3 days ago: She wants to hang out with him again. She says I’m being controlling, and doesn’t like it. So, she said she’s going to talk to her friends if she wants to, because I shouldn’t be trying to control her. She says she knows what she did wrong, and it isn’t going to happen again… She only wrote that because she was confused.
Now: I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to leave her, but I can’t get her to understand that their relationship is unhealthy for ours. She insists that she doesn’t want more than friendship from the guy, and I can’t bring myself to believe that.
Am I wrong? Am I overreacting? I can’t help but think that our relationship will again go downhill… I don’t know what to do.
I’m not sure if Dr. Phil reads these message boards, but I know if he could respond, and I could show her what he says that it would make more of an impact. We both watch the show almost daily. And if it turns out that I’m wrong, it would mean a lot that I could his advice also.
Any help is appreciated.
HECK no you are not wrong!?!? She is being selfish, immature and disrespectful. You need to realize that she is at least mentally cheating, emotionally cheating if not physically. Bottom line, she cares more about his feelings than yours!?!!? THAT right there shows a lack of character.
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April 25, 2006, 8:14 am PDT
Quote From: allalone61 need a females input!!!!!!!!!!! I know you are not a coulseler but your input would be very much appreciated! I would like to get your opinion on the following, I was recently dating a lady for 2 months who is 36 yrs old. She is a Catholic school teacher who is not being rehired at her school due to consolidation. At least that is what she told me. She has a past of not paying her bills, having utilities turned off, her house is a mess, so much so that it is infested with ants. A sheriff has come to her door with a summons for court to pay a bill. All this while I was in her life, at first all was great, i tried to help her clean her house, i helped with laundry, did dishes etc. She borrowed $300.00 from me and I gave it freely. I would tell her how much I cared for her, I showed it by buying flowers, and cards, I left love notes on her car. and what she meant to me. She could not tell me as easily that she cared for me but i thought with time she might. She would tell me I should just know that she cared by her actions. Yes we held hands, yes we had sex, I was invited to dinner a few times, I met her kid as well. But she could not tell me she loved me on her own without me saying it first. Yes once in awhile she would say "I love you" but not until I said it first! I would arrive each eve and she would open the door and say hi and walk into the family room, no hug, no kiss. We would sit on the couch, it was about 9:30 when I arrived, by 10:15 she was leaning against me sleeping. I let this go for several weeks, then I said, "what no hug or kiss when I arrive" she then started to do so but I could tell it was a chore for her to do. I also brought up the falling asleep all the time, so she then would no longer sit next to me on the couch. She said if she did she would get comfy and fall asleep! I must be very boring! We went To St Louis for a weekend getaway and to KC as well. On 3/19 while in KC when she got out of bed she stubbed her toe on a chair and busted it. We reported it to hotel mgmt and left. On 3/26 she went to Vegas with her sister, and not pay bills, she took her $100.00 emergency money. She cant pay some bills but she has money to go to Vegas. As she called me from the airport preparing to leave I told her I loved her, she said OK and goodbye. No I love you too. While at Vegas she was getting ready to leave the hotel and she told them at the hotel she had slipped on some water in the bathroom and busted her toe there, but in reality she did that 2 weeks earlier. The hotel comped her room and was going to send her a check for $500.00 for incurred medical bills which she never had. I told her that she was wrong when she told me, she laughed at me and said "well all the hotels are tied together so it is OK and I lost $25.00 so they owed me" I said to her that she was wrong that the hotel in KC was not the same as the hotel in Vegas, she just smiled at me. She ended the relationship, because we would get into arguments about her not saying I love you, or even saying that she wanted me in her life, As I said, she would just tell me that I should just know by her actions, but her actions were not very clear to me so I asked her to at least tell me that she wanted me in her life, but she could not say that, again she would say I should just know. I was having doubts about her anyhow due to what she did at the hotel in Vegas. I told her if she could lie to the hotel she sure could lie to me and as far as I was concerned she stole money from the hotel. in addition to what you have already read, there was a time she did not have potatoes to make something, so I told her i would go get them for dinner, while at the store she added on several items, I paid all, then i remember once one of her kids were caughing real bad and she had no medicine for them, she told me he would be ok, but as a good dad should i went to the stoe at 11pm to get medicine. Upon returning from each trip, she said thanks but it was not a heart felt thanks. She paid nothing either, yes she offered but i knew she really did not have the money so i did not accept any money, what i was hoping for was to hear something like, "I am so lucky to have you, you are such a great man and i am glad I met you" but nope nada. I took her to Chicago, she did not have to pay for anything, while in Chicago she was telling me about her X boyfriend who lived there and how he would give her $70.00 a day, (that was what his per diem was) to spend in any way she wanted while she walked around the city. She also tried to show me where he lived, like I gave a frack anyhow, I asked her why they broke up and she said that she called him one time and a female answered. hmmmmmmmm go figure! So how stupid am I, I really tried to make it work, what did I do worng? wsa I wrong about bringing up the hug and kiss at the door, or her falling asleep on me all the time? What should i have done differently, please, I am at wits end here. When she broke it off with me I was really upset, i felt like i was ready to throw in the towel and i told her so, i said the i really have nothing to live for. i thought if death were to come i would not fight it, i would not go do something stupid though. Then i became angry with her, I demended the money back the she borrowed. She returned it and I have not spoken to her since, no contact what so ever! So how wrong was I, what did i do wrong??? What am I missing here, is what she did OK, what should I do???? Please help me!!!!! What do you think we are going to say? NO you are NOT wrong? She is a moocher and a selfish, irresponsible lady! WHY on Earth would you want thing to do with her at this point. Your future would be miserable to say the least. COUNT your blessings that you got your money back and she is out of your life! |
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April 25, 2006, 8:14 am PDT
I had been seeing someone for over 8 months and initially it was just casual and then we were together almost five days a week, then in December I lost my job, my dad became ill and recently passed away and was buried a couple of weeks ago and i had to take care of everything on my own because none of my family members were equipped to handle this. All through this I became increasingly emotionally dependent on my bf and he had me around but never invited me out with his friends (he's much younger than me) and would leave me to go run and help his friends who would be with their wives or significant others and i became increasingly frustrated. He didn't really listen to my messages just called me back when he felt like it and five days after i had my father buried he told me that i was driving him crazy, he had no intention of falling in love with him and if i didn't think he cared about me (a message i left on his cell) then he wouldn't and that was it. I told him to calm down and think about it for a few days and not be irrational. I ran into him about 4 days later visiting a friend of mine and we all hung out and i thought everything was okay again. He walked me out to my car and hugged and kissed me goodbye and asked me to call him the following evening - I did and the night after that and it appears he just screened his calls and it occurred to me at the end of the week that the hug was a consolation hug, the same kind i got when i lost my job and my dad died....now, my head knows I'm better off but my heart is broken and can barely make it through the day, or sleep at night - I can't eat - and since all this began I've dropped almost 40 lbs.- which i didn't need to begin with! How can i convince myself I'm better off??? Why would i WANT and pine to be with someone who didn't give a damn about me???? What can i do to rush this process, it's killing me mentally and physically. |
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April 25, 2006, 10:38 am PDT
Quote From: latingirl What do you think we are going to say? NO you are NOT wrong? She is a moocher and a selfish, irresponsible lady! WHY on Earth would you want thing to do with her at this point. Your future would be miserable to say the least. COUNT your blessings that you got your money back and she is out of your life! Sometimes the truth of the matter is that nice guys really do finish last. I think it is terrible, but it seems to be the way the world rolls... I am so sorry that something like that landed your way. You sound like an incredible guy and she totally took advantage of that. You really should count your blessings that she is gone... It would have only gotten worse. People like that, men or women, do not wake up one day and realize that they have wreaked havoc on everyone that ever loved them and decide to change their ways. It takes a traumatic event (if ever) to turn them around. Whether or not this relationship ending was that event for her or not.... Don't let it be an event that pushes you over the edge. It comes down to you - are you worth more than how she (mis)treated you, are you more than a self-inflicted end, are you more than a break-up however tragic... Reading your excerpt... I'd bet a kidney that you are worth a hell of a lot more than all of that combined. Some woman is going to be blessed the day you look her way. You are a romantic soul - always treasure that - it's who you are. Don't let some mean, inconsiderate woman take that away from you, or away from the woman you are truly meant to be with. It may not seem like it sometimes, but there really is a plan for you... Sometimes I have my own doubts when my life goes South, but it all happens for a reason - you have to believe that. This will make you stronger and wiser, if you let it.
Krystena |
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